


Show yourself

by L_Ies_Ile



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo escape, Ben Solo is back, Ben Solo wakes up, Canon Universe, Death, Devoted Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Episode IX, Fix It, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Force Ghost Ahsoka Tano, Force Ghost Anakin Skywalker, Force Ghost Leia Organa, Force Ghost Luke Skywalker, Force Ghost Mace Windu, Force Ghost Obi-Wan Kenobi, Force Ghost Qui-Gon Jinn, Force Ghost Yoda (Star Wars), Meditation, Multi, My First Smut, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Psychology of Ben, Psychology of Rey, Redeemed Ben Solo, Resistance, Resurrection, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey Skywalker, Rey is crying, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo Week, Reylo is canon, Smut, Soulmates, Star Wars Connection, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, Violent Death, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), Wait For Me, World Between World, Young Ben Solo, first sex scene in chapter 16, first smut is chapter 13, it's light BUT it will grow, smut is coming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:42:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 100,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21976039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L_Ies_Ile/pseuds/L_Ies_Ile
Summary: A long time ago in a galaxy far far away ...The fighting is not over: the First and Last Orders are falling, but there is still a long way to go before the return of complete peace to the galaxy. The Resistance continues to fight to liberate each system from oppression and works to create a new Republic. But many obstacles will stand in their way, they will need all the good will to succeed including that of the last Jedi.Rey, to the dismay of her friends, isolated herself on Tatooine to reflect on what happened and also to decide what she wants to do with the rest of her life. These long moments of loneliness make her cruelly feel the absence of her double in the Force, the other half of the Dyade, her soul mate Ben Solo who sacrificed himself so that she could live.She feels even more alone than before, even if she is surrounded by her friends, Ben was the one who knew her best and he alone could have understood all her anxieties.But is he really dead?The Force is mysterious and it has not yet revealed all its secrets ...
Relationships: Finn & Rey (Star Wars), Kylo Ren/Rey, Larma D’Acy/Wrobie Tyce, Leia Organa & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Leia Organa & Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa & Rey, Luke Skywalker & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Luke Skywalker, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 22
Kudos: 95





	1. Alone again

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!!!  
> It's very touching that I publish the beginning of this work that I started on December 18 after my cinema session.  
> I left the session completely sad and feeling betrayed by the end of the film. I was glad that Ben had his redemption and that he had at least a moment of happiness with Rey but I had hoped that he would end the film alive.
> 
> He is guilty of many crimes (I don't deny it so if you want to read a fanfiction where I absolve Ben of all his crimes and where he is considered completely innocent I advise you to go your way 😉) I had nevertheless hoped that he would be banished to the other end of the galaxy. Anakin died after being brought back to the light side, I would have liked to conclude the saga, the last Skywalker of blood returned to the light side alive but we will have to do with this end 😥 ...
> 
> I then wanted to write the rest of the story so that I was finally satisfied!  
> Don't be surprised if I mention things that I don't detail in the text: I am referring to another fanfiction that is going on after The Last Jedi but I haven't finished writing it I just have the big ones lines in my head, I make a lot of modifications depending on what I read (novel, comic ...).  
> This fanfiction will be on all the protagonists we met in The Rise of Skywalker so not only on Ben and Rey 😊 . I write quite slowly, I am French so it takes me time to write in English. Don't hesitate to give me grammatical advice !! Here I hope you will like, tell me what you think in the comments, give me advice I would be delighted !!!  
> There will be smut scenes, they will arrive towards chapters 13 I think.
> 
> I dedicate this work to all the reylo I meet on twitter who are adorable. To all the Star Wars actors who made us dream and to all the people who have invested so much in this saga!

The two suns rose gradually lighting the interior of the old farm, waking up its occupants. BB-8 began his day by checking that the new vaporators and the newly installed air conditioning mechanisms were working. Once his task completed he went to the bedroom where Rey slept. He found her withdrawn, sleeping deeply. This hair was loose and fell freely on either side of his face. He beeped softly to wake her up.

"Hello BB-8" Rey smiled at him, straightening up gently, running his hand through his hair. "What's the news today?"

BB-8 made a series of enthusiastic beeps about the vaporators.

"Oh really ?!" Rey exclaimed happily. "I didn't think it would work, it's a good thing, we should have more water now, it will be easier."

BB-8 nodded and rolled toward the kitchen. Rey followed him, tying her hair. She took the instant bread powder out of the cellar and began to mix it with a little water. The bread rose and she placed it on a small plate and went out into the yard, BB-8 on his heels. She climbed to the surface, BB-8 using her metal arms to climb the steps.

Rey sat on the sand watching the sun rise from two suns; it was a ritual that she had established upon her arrival - taking her meals while looking at them - a bit like when she was on Jakku but now free to spend all day contemplating them if she wished. She ate her bread quickly, she was getting tired of having almost all of her meals, for the sake of economy. She sighed and BB-8 immediately beeped with concern, what was wrong?

"It's nothing," she reassured him. "It's just that I didn't realize how much work it would take to restore this place."

Rey sighed again, wondering for the hundredth time since her arrival why she had chosen to stay on this old farm. Leia had told Rey a lot about her adventures with Luke, Han and Lando and how it all started. She had told him about the Farm of Lars and how Luke had left him heartbroken by the death of his family. He had never returned there and preferred to occupy Obi Wan Kenobi's home from time to time 136 kilometers away. Rey had decided to go back there to bury their lightsabers as a sign of respect. The property was abandoned, covered by sand.

She thought back to everything that had happened recently.

She had thought for long minutes in front of the suns, she needed to take stock of what she was going to do, lots of possibilities were available to her but before moving forward she needed to think. She had already taken the time to built a lightsaber for her before burying those of Luke and Leia. She had chosen a rare golden yellow blade which represented for her the color of the sun. She was particularly proud of the result, it was her first real lightsaber, so far she had only repaired that of Luke.

After making the decision to stay on Tatooine for a while, she brought the Falcon back to Ajan Kloss and left him in the care of her friends. She had then spent a few days with them before the long separation that was to come. They then talked about what had happened on Exogol, Rey knew nothing about the space battle and they didn't know about the fight against Palpatine. She explained the main lines to them and kept for herself everything that had happened between her and ... him. Just thinking about him she sighed and the pain reactivated. She couldn't even say her name anymore. 

Poe and Finn seemed to believe his story that Kylo Ren had finally joined him when it turned out that Palpatine wanted to dominate the entire galaxy, the First Order understood. She had ignored the fact that he had resurrected her, she had simply told them that Palpatine had brought her down into the abyss and that's it. A wave of guilt overwhelmed her: they were her closest family now and she had hidden so much from them, none of them were aware of their relationship and connection to the Force. There had been so many occasions where she could have told them but each time she had given up preferring to preserve her secret garden.

Where she had had more trouble was to explain to them why she wanted to stay on Tatooine for a while. They didn't understand, she had to insist almost to get angry so that they hear reason but she didn't hold it against them: after all they only knew part of the story and it must have seemed very strange to them that she stays behind, alone. Reluctantly they had finally accepted, she had returned aboard an X-wing and her friends had brought her equipment and food on board the Falcon. The farewell had been difficult as if they were final. Rey must have sworn to let them know by the X-Wing communicator at least once a day.

To her surprise Poe had given her BB-8 :

"He appreciates you very much and that way you will not be alone"

"Are you OK Poe? He's your best friend"

"Yep, I would be quieter knowing he's with you. Right buddy? You'll help Rey, right?" he said, leaning toward the little droid who poked an air of approval.

"I will miss you, you know, but it's not forever," Poe whispered to the droid, laying his head on it.

BB-8 beeped and began to circle around Poe who joined Finn and Chewie near the Falcon.

Chewie hugged Rey very hard in his arms, uttering little grunts.

"I know you don't like goodbyes, but we're going to see each other again, don't worry" reassured Rey who was trying to speak with his head stuck in his fur. Chewie groaned a bit more then stepped aside to shorten the scene, climbed back into the ship and started the reactors.

Rey turned to Finn and Poe, they looked at each other then hugged.

"Take care of yourself especially" whispered Finn. "If something ever happens to you, you will be dealing with me" he threatened softly.

Poe sneered and punched Finn in the shoulder: "She's scared, look at her: she's shaking". Rey smiles: Poe the big brother, really always there to try to cheer up the troops.

She stayed outside and watched the ship move away until it disappeared from her field of vision. 

The first few days she hadn't felt lonely, she had been too busy with the farm. 

First of all, she had to clear the property which had been left abandoned and which had gradually become covered with sand. With the help of the Force it had not been too difficult, once the heaps of sand were cleared she had been able to access the interior. She quickly noticed that the entire farm had been looted, in each room there were only a few pieces of furniture and no electrical devices, much less the vaporators which are essential for the proper functioning of the farm. Without these vaporators it couldn't recover water from the atmosphere and it was really the vital point to survive in this desert. With this water she could irrigate a vegetable garden which would supply her with vegetables and fresh fruits, thus decorating her meals. 

With BB-8 she had immediately tackled this spot, from sunrise to sunset for several days they had assembled vaporators which she had brought on board the Falcon in spare parts. She had indeed taken precautions: she had inquired a little with other resistants native to Tatooine and had made stocks of materials accordingly. What she hadn't brought was buying it and bartering it to Mos Eiley in a landspeeder.

The long days of work under the scorching sun had allowed her to avoid thinking and dwelling on her emotions, she knew it was a bad idea not to take stock right away but for the moment she felt incapable of it, she was afraid of being overwhelmed.

After the vaporators, she decided to install weather sensors and motion detectors to monitor storms and Tusken who tended to attack isolated properties. Rey and BB-8 had been pretty successful so far, the vaporators were spinning and the water tanks were starting to fill up, soon they could tackle the vegetable patch.

Most of the work was done, the pace was slower and Rey began to feel more and more lonely like this morning

She hadn't been completely honest in answering BB-8, her sadness wasn't only due to fatigue. She missed her friends, she missed the camp atmosphere ... she missed him.

Her heart sank just thinking about him. She couldn't bring herself to accept his death, it had happened so quickly, she had barely had time to realize that she had to leave to avoid dying crushed by the blocks of rocks. She had started to realize that once arrived at the camp, while the others were partying, she had isolated herself and had realized the void she felt in her chest and in her head: when she concentrated and sought the signature of Ben in the Force she now felt only emptiness.

He had come back for her, had stood by her side and saved her: she remembered having floated in the dark, deprived of her senses and suddenly she felt herself coming back to life in someone's arm. She couldn't believe her eyes when she realized that it was Ben who held her so firmly, one hand in her hair the other on her stomach.

She sat down, looked him in the eyes, those big dark eyes that looked at her almost in tears.

And there she heard it in her head through their Forcebond, with a jerky flow:

_Rey ... Rey I couldn't ... I couldn't let you go ... I couldn't you understand? You are the most precious thing, I would have died if I hadn't managed to bring you back. I love you Rey, can you hear me? I have loved you forever, I know I have behaved badly in the past but I love you! I LOVE YOU!_

He hadn't said anything out loud but he didn't need it, he made everything go by the bond and through his eyes, his beautiful eyes looking at her as if he wanted to memorize every stroke of his face. She felt all the panic and pain that overwhelmed him when he found her inert. And his resolve when he tried to save her, tapping deep into his remaining strengths, focusing on the Force, trying to pass her life on to her as she had previously done on the Death Star.

"Ben" with a big smile on his face, Rey had felt his heart take off. She had hesitated a little then suddenly she had decided and had put her lips on those of Ben, caressing his face and his hair. He had reacted immediately and had embraced her tenderly, his hands were mounted on her back and in her hair. Ben's lips were soft and moist. She felt their bond in strength become indestructible. She felt his joy explode as he understood that she loved him in return.

 _Rey, Rey, Rey ..._ his voice sang through the leap, he hoped that this kiss never stops, he savored each moment with intensity. He had loved her for so long, he never would have hoped she would love him in return. And yet she kissed him and he felt her love through the bond. And her hands, which caressed his hair and his cheek, made him climb to heaven. Rey had the impression that time had stopped, it was only them, where there had been chaos there was now only peace, serenity and love. An evidence.

They were detached from each other, their breaths mixing, their smiles lightening the face of the other. For the first time Rey saw Ben smile, a real smile of a happy man who finally knows love and happiness.

_Rey, my love, sweetheart ... thanks for everything really. I love you, I will always love you._

Through the bond she felt his presence suddenly weaken as if he was moving away physically while he was in front of her. Stunned, she suddenly saw him rock backwards, his hands still in hers. She suddenly felt a great emptiness in the Force and she understood immediately: Ben was gone. Shocked, dumbfounded, she saw her body disappear, leaving only her clothes behind. He was now one with the Force.

The more Rey saw the scene again, the more the pain ran through his chest. Ben ... He had been the one who knew her best and now he was no longer there, he had sacrificed himself for her, knowing that there was a good chance that he too would die.

She was alone.

Of course there were her friends, she missed them but they would never really know her. They couldn't understand the Force, for them it was only a cool trick which made it possible to move objects, to defend themselves. Even by explaining her concerns she knew they couldn't help her, they would listen to her of course but couldn't help.

Only Ben would have been able to fully understand her.

Ben ... 

She always came back to him decidedly she found shaking her head.

She missed him so much. She had less to do now on the farm and suddenly her mind wandered and she began to think of him. She was brooding over her feeling of injustice: Ben and she had had a moment of happiness so ephemeral it was so cruel!

If only she could talk about all this with someone, someone like a sister, a brother, friends ... 

But she knew she couldn't talk about it to anyone; Poe, Finn, Rose were her friends and a family to her but she knew very well that they wouldn't understand even if she told them about their connection through the Force. For them Ben was only a murderer and they were delighted with his death. In addition they would most certainly resent her for not having talked about it earlier. No, she had to forget this option.

"Pull yourself together Rey" she whispered to herself.

BB-8 pipped a question.

"Yes, we're going to get to work. Go ahead, I'll join you." BB-8 beeped happily and walked away.

Rey stood up, her empty plate in her hand and stretched out looking at the suns. They were tall now, she had spent a good part of the morning there thinking while looking into space instead of working on the electrical circuits of the living quarters.

But she needed it, she had postponed it for weeks and it had to happen one day.

She went inside, put her plate down in the kitchen sink and went to get dressed.

Before going to join BB-8, she took a black sweater with holes from her wardrobe, brought it to her nose and took a deep breath. Then she put it back in its place and left the room.

A new day of work awaited her!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Lars farm](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Lars_homestead)
> 
> [Moisture farm](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Moisture_farm)
> 
> [Vaporator](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Moisture_vaporator)


	2. Reflection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Finn, Poe, Rose and Chewie start to find it odd that Rey isolates on Tatooine ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone ! To finish the year 2019 here is the second chapter. We find Rose, Finn, Poe and Chewie discussing Rey 's isolation and starting to question themselves about the reasons for her removal. It's a chapter that was close to my heart because I think Rey never told her friends that she had a strong connection with Ben so I think if it had been officially written she would never have said what happened on Exogol. So here I wanted to write about it and it will continue in the next chapters; I don't know yet what I will write in detail but at some point they will learn the truth. 
> 
> Thank you for your kudos and your messages, it's really nice! 
> 
> I wish you a wonderful year 2020, happiness, health and may be all your wishes come true !!

"Finn? Fi-in? Fi-iiiiiin ??? Hello ??? General Poe to General Finn do you receive me ???"

Poe waved his hand in front of Finn hoping desperately to grab his attention. Finn's eyes were staring blankly and seemed lost in thought. He suddenly looked up.

"Sorry man, I was ..."

"Daydreaming. We know. We saw." Rose added.

They were having lunch in the jungle of Ajan Kloss enjoying a moment of inactivity. Poe and Finn, now leading the resistance, spent their days and part of their nights in front of communications screens or in meetings. For the first time in two weeks, they were breathing a bit while enjoying a meal with friends instead of eating on the go or more generally not eating at all. Lieutenant Kaydel Ko Connix and commander Larma d'Acy had offered to replace them for a few hours in front of the consoles and they had left, proposing to the resistance fighters they met if they wanted to come with them. Several other members had thus come: among others Chewie and some combat pilots.

The atmosphere was friendly and warm: they had brought their meals with them, sharing the dishes and drinks sitting on the grass. Some had settled under trees and planned to take a nap in the shade while others bickered and laughed. Poe,

Finn, Rose and Chewie sat together discussing the news, one ear always attentive to their communicators when Connix contacted them urgently. Although being at rest they were not too far from the command center just in case. Finn hadn't participated in the conversation so much, he had just answered or nodded when necessary. Which ended up getting Poe's attention.

"What's going on with you?" asked Poe, his mouth full. " You have been weird for a few days, are you all right?"

"Yeah, no actually, I just .." Finn started hesitantly.

"... worried about Rey? Is that it?" Rose finished in her place.

Finn breathed with relief.

"She's fine, did you hear her this morning? It seemed to be going well, the renovation of the farm apparently is progressing." Poe replied between two bites.

"Yeah I heard but frankly do you believe it? I mean she's fine and all that? It doesn't seem strange to you that she isolates herself as she does, on a planet that she doesn't even know ?" Finn asked with his hands raised in the air forgetting that he was holding a fork.

Poe continued to chew in silence, wiping away the food debris that Finn had dropped from his fork. When he looked up he met Finn's gaze awaiting his response.

"Yes and no. It doesn't shock me that much" he finally replied by clearing his throat. "I mean she got a lot to take in a very short time, right?"

Rose nodded, letting Poe go further. He began to list his arguments on his fingers:

"In a few days she learned who she really was, who she was descended from and clearly I am ready to bet my X-wing that she would have preferred never to know or that she would have preferred her parents to be nothing but drunkards looters even if that means they didn't like her. She thought she killed Chewie, she had to fight Ren several times, she lost Leia who was a surrogate family for her and finally she fought Palpatine and defeated him. That's a lot for one person. I think she needs to change her mind and think about what she's going to do now. Like all of us. "

"I don't agree there is something wrong! She cashed a lot that I say not the opposite but I have the impression that she hides something from us! She is no longer the same since Exogol! You haven't noticed that she has been isolating herself a lot lately? I notice and that worries me!

In his frenzy Finn got up and walked with his arms folded behind his head, no longer trying to hide his worry. They followed him with their eyes.

Chewie gave a series of small grunts.

"Are you worried too Chewie?" asked Rose, astonished. "What do you think is the problem? Because I'm like Poe, I think Rey just needs time to digest what happened."

"Something happened on Exogol I would put my hand to cut it. Her version of what happened convaince you? Me not! It was too vague : she arrived on Exogol, found the Emperor who wanted her to become empress and killed him. With a little help from Ren. Basically that's what she told us. Seriously do you find that believable? No details , she was there, she killed him and hop! finished. I said nothing in front of her but I don't believe it, there must have been more things happening. The Emperor shouldn't have let himself be killed so easily ! She is hiding from us what really happened and that's what worries me: we have survived so far by trusting each other, by not hiding anything. I don't understand why she keeps us out of the way like that, we're all she have left now. If everyone starts to keep secret what do you think is going to happen? Uh ?!

"Hey calm down please" tried to appease Rose. "Maybe she just wants to protect us by telling us as little as possible. How would you react if she told you that he tortured her?"

"Mad for sure! I would feel really bad for letting him face it alone." recognized Finn."

You see ?! I think it's something like that she's trying to hide from us, she knows how we would react" smiled Rose. "Really I think there is no reason to worry: the Emperor is dead, the First Order is falling apart, what could threaten it?"

"Don't know" Finn recognized with a sigh. "But still, I have a bad feeling about it all. I know she lied to us for something at least."

"What do you mean ?" Poe asked, frowning.

"Hum you will find it crazy but ... no forget what I just said!"

"Finn you just gave us a whole speech about the importance of trusting each other but you don't want to tell us more ?! Seriously bro ?!". Poe crossed his arms, pretending to be outraged.

"You know you can tell us everything Finn" Rose encouraged him softly.

"Yes we will not make fun of it promised. At worst we will show it to you for 10 years" taunted Poe, a mocking smile on his lips.

Finn felt the atmosphere relax a little and laughed.

"You want to talk about you and your spices ? So, this is when Jannah and I were picked up by Chewie and Lando, I felt something in my chest, a huge void concerning Rey. I felt deep inside me that 'she was dead"

Finn looked at his friends. Poe had stopped eating and looked at him with wide open eyes, Chewie groaned softly and Rose looked surprised.

"Did you have an intuition? A feeling?" Poe tried.

"No, it was stronger than that, I felt it all over my body and in my heart I knew." tried to explain to them Finn who was at a loss for words to describe how he had felt.

"You mean you would have felt Rey's death like Leia and she would have felt Luke's?" tried to clarify Rose

"That's it!" exclaimed Finn relieved to see that at least one person understood where he was coming from.

"They told me a little about it: they felt that because they are Force sensitive," Rose remarked thoughtfully. "Does that mean that you too would be sensitive? Is this the first time this has happened to you?"

"I know it sounds crazy," Finn sighed to Poe and Chewie who seemed to be following Rose's reasoning.

"Listen bro with everything we have seen recently it would not be the craziest thing I have seen" reassured Poe. "After all Rey discovered her powers since what? A year and a half ago?! Why not you?"

"I don't know Poe, it's weird, I'm just me, an ordinary guy, without a past, why would the Force choose me?"

"You're anything but an ordinary guy!" Poe stood up and squeezed Finn's shoulders, looking him straight in the eye. "Shall I remind you of all that you have accomplished? You saved me, without you I would no longer be there. You guided us in Starkiller base to destroy it. You fought Ren to save Rey. You risked everything by going to Canto Bight with Rose. You almost got killed by Phasma. You were ready to sacrifice yourself on Crait. All of our adventures to get there today ... Do you want me to keep listing or is it good? You are a great person, a best friend, a brother for me. CAN YOU HEAR ME ?! I NEVER WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY YOU'RE NOTHING AGAIN !!! "

Poe had gradually raised his voice during his pitch to try to stop Finn from interrupting him. Finn looked at Poe not knowing what to say, too moved to speak. Instead he nodded and Poe hugged him briefly. The loud voices had caught the attention of the pilots and some were watching them with curiosity.

"It's okay guys you can go back to sleep, just a little chat between general." Poe threw them a forced smile on their lips.

"Sorry to interrupt, but what do we do now?" asked Rose, who was packing up the picnic.

"About Rey or Finn?"

"Both."

"Well ... if we assume that Finn is right, that he really felt Rey's death through the Force, that would mean that Rey died at some point but that either she was resurrected by someone 'one or so it is immortal. " Poe replied, scratching his head in perplexity.

Chewie began to snort mockingly.

"What do we know that this is not how the Force works?" Rose replied. "No one except Rey could answer us and again it's not sure."

"If she was resurrected, who do you think it was by? Clearly not the Emperor." Poe noticed.

Chewie groaned softly.

"What ?! It's not possible Chewie." Rose replied, shaking her head.

"I think I know who he's thinking about and I don't like it."

Finn looked at Poe who finally realized: "REN ???! Are you guys kidding ?!"

"And who else if not him? Rey said it herself there was only them, the Emperor and the Sith loyalists and it was surely not the Emperor or his doggies who would have brought her back. "

Poe massaged his temples, prey to an incipient migraine: "Do I remind you that he spent the last year trying to kill us all, she the first. It makes no sense!"

"I agree: ALL this makes no sense, it's a mess." Rose agreed, standing up ready to go. "It would be better to continue this discussion elsewhere, the others have been watching us for a while."

Poe looked around and saw that she was right: the pilots who had woken looked at them out of the corner of their eyes. He tried to guess what they were seeing: their chiefs in the middle of a discussion who from a distance looked like an argument given their tones. He sighed: it was not the moment that gossip began to circulate, the Resistance was still fragile with the First Order not completely destroyed, rumors of tensions between the leaders should not appear.

So they returned to the command post to raise Connix and Larma, leaving the pilots to rest under the trees. If they weren't so concerned they could have enjoyed the sun caressing their skins, the song of birds and waterfalls but they had too much to think about.

"What are we doing now?" Rose asked after several minutes of walking in silence.

"I don't know." Poe replied, running his hand over his face. "If Rey needs help she knows where to find us and for the moment the fact that she is hiding something from us is not so important, the war is over, we are not in danger. If she ever want to talk to us about it someday we'll be there. For you Finn I think you need to contact Rey and talk to her, you never know: if you are gifted in the Force and you don't learn to manage it it could go wrong. "

"OK, but what about this resurrection story?"

"I don't know. It's just guesswork. We assume Finn is Force-sensitive and Rey lied to us about a lot of things. I don't know you guys but I feel like my head is going to explode there, an X-Wing came in through one ear and came out through the other. It's a lot to ingest suddenly. "

Chewie groaned at length to point out that at least they were alive.

"You're right, we were lucky, we don't have to complain about it." Finn replied.

The already heavy atmosphere darkened a little more when he thought of all the loved ones they had lost in this war. They finished their return in silence. It was with a closed face that they relayed Connix and Larma, each thinking of his dead.


	3. If only...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If only...
> 
> If only they had had more time ...  
> If only she could kiss him again ...  
> If only she had known what was going to happen, she would have given him a bit of her strength so that he could hold out ...  
> If only she could tell him that everything was going to be fine, that he didn't need to worry about her ...  
> If only she had replied "I love you" instead of just passing her feelings through the Force ...  
> If only she could change something ...
> 
> If only...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone !  
> I continue my story patiently one step after another!  
> I put a lot of my personal experience in this chapter: Rey wonders what would have happened if she had done things differently and she regrets many things, all the unspoken, the hidden secrets ...  
> The title of the chapter refers to a song by Dove Cameron from the Descendants which (I find) fits the situation well:
> 
> "A million thoughts in my head  
> Should I let my heart keep listening  
> 'Cause up 'til now I've walked the line  
> Nothing lost but something missing
> 
> I can't decide  
> What's wrong, what's right  
> Which way should I go
> 
> If only I knew what my heart was telling me  
> Don't know what I'm feeling  
> Is this just a dream?
> 
> If only I could read the signs in front of me  
> I could find the way to who I'm meant to be  
> If only"

The electronic circuit Rey had been working on for several hours and which was supposed to function normally, suddenly tripped and sent everywhere a shower of small sparks. 

Rey groaned in exasperation, she had spent the whole morning working on the soldering of the electrical wiring of the kitchen, she was convinced that she had assembled everything and soldered correctly and yet this BAD CABLE HAS COME TO MAKE THE WHOLE SYSTEM DISCONNECT !!!

In her exasperation Rey punched the cable and the wall. She ended up stopping, on the one hand because it didn't help the wiring to get beaten and on the other hand because she had damaged the top of her fist by knocking on the wall, she was bleeding.

Sighing, Rey sat down on the floor with his head in his hands, BB-8 approached, beeping solicitously.

"No BB-8 it's nothing, I'm just annoyed and tired. THIS annoys me." she replied, pointing to the circuit which continued to spit sparks. 

BB-8 beeped and offered to take care of repairing the circuit while she was resting.

Accepting the offer, Rey let the little droid take over the situation and decided to sit on the porch which now adjoins the kitchen. With pieces of old wood she built an arbor and hung a canvas over it, thus providing a pleasant space in the shade. Sitting on the ground she tried to calm down and meditate. She tried for long minutes to clear her head, to think only of the Force, to be one with her. But the long nights of sleeplessness that she had spent lately had emptied her of her calm, she felt permanently annoyed, ready to pounce. 

Until now, the long days of stupefying work in sweltering heat had exhausted her enough for her to sleep peacefully, but since she had had less to do she had started to think about all the events and suddenly sleep was felt: she spent a large part of her nights brooding over and over again at the same moments.

She saw their faces, their expressions, their words ... 

She kept seeing Ben, his smile, his face, his moles; she remembered the texture of her hair, so soft, so silky.

She saw their kiss again and ran a finger over her lips at the memory. How sweet and liberating it had been! She still had in mind the feeling of Ben's lips on hers, his pouty lips, fleshy and at the same time so soft and sensual. She felt such intense happiness in her chest that it struck her in the stomach.

Sometimes she brooded over so much that she ended up crying, biting her sheet or her fist so as not to worry BB-8 with her sobs.

If only...

If only they had had more time ...

If only she could kiss him again ...

If only she had known what was going to happen, she would have given him a bit of her strength so that he could hold out ...

If only she could tell him that everything was going to be fine, that he didn't need to worry about her ...

If only she had replied "I love you" instead of just passing her feelings through the Force ...

If only she could change something ...

If only...

Leia ...

Rey thought a lot about her in her bed, her eyes fixed on the ceiling. She considered Leia her surrogate mother and yet there was so much that they hadn't said to each other: she had never told her anything about her mental connection with Ben.

Maybe she should have, it would probably have appeased Leia to know that her son was not alone, that Rey was there to talk to him and try to make him come back. 

Although Leia quite never openly expressed it, Rey knew that she still cared for her son and that despite everything, a small part of her hoped that he could return. She should have told her, Rey felt sad and angry with herself: Leia had suffered so much without ever complaining, so much given and so little received in return, she should have trusted her. 

What worsened Rey's sadness was the fact that maybe Leia knew and that she had just waited for the girl to trust her and open her heart to her and that day had never come.

But if Leia was aware of the link between Rey and Ben based on her experience of the Force, she had never mentioned it. In front of Rey at least. Rey regretted not having been completely honest with Leia, maybe it would have been different: what she dared not tell her friends for fear of being rejected by them, Leia would probably have understood and she would have supported her. 

And if she had been honest with Leia, maybe in return she would have told her about her origins.

Why did you hide all this from me? Rey wondered endlessly, turning over and over in bed. To protect me? So that I'm not desperate to be heir to a monster? Maybe. The mere thought of the Emperor, who held more than a corpse than anything, instantly disgusted Rey and sparked a wave of hatred in her that she tried in vain to control. Because of him everyone she cared for had lost someone dear or had died.

Turning endlessly in her bed, she imagined what her life would have been like if she had been brought up by Palpatine.

Would she have been forced to hide all her life like her grandfather had done? Or would she have lived in a palace erected in secret by Sith loyalists? The only notion of royalty she had was Leia, who had told her a little bit about her life on Alderaan. She had trouble visualizing herself as a princess having no idea of the concept of luxury, having never worn anything but simple old clothes and ate rations. When she tried to imagine the scene, she could only see herself in one of Leia's elegant dresses. She would have been at the side of her grandfather, obeying his orders, reigning over the galaxy, killing those who today are the people most dear to her heart.

Maybe she would have met Ben one day: sometimes she imagined him resisting like her mother with the same political talent, other times she saw him as an ace in aviation like his father.

She imagined him dressed like Han: the leather jacket, the blaster attached to the hip or the thigh, leather mittens on his hands. He would have had a crazy charm like that ...

But the most probable was that she would probably never have met him, her heart was sinking, just imagining she was sick of it.

She was grateful to her parents for trying to hide it, they had saved her from the worst.

Her parents...

Another wound to her heart: she didn't know anything about them after all.

If only Leia or Luke had told her about it. She would have liked to know their names, their stories.

How did they escape Palpatine?

Why Jakku?

So many unanswered questions and a bitterness that had prevented her from sleeping for days and that made her now exhausted from nerves and patience.

If only she could sleep for only a few hours ...

If only she could meditate ...

If only she could converse with Leia and Luke ...

She had hoped that she would be able to converse with them on a regular basis. To do so, she tried to calm when meditating -not these days- she called them in her head, begging to meet her, seeking their signal in the Force. She had so many questions to ask them and so much need of answers!

But they never reappeared before her to her great disappointment.

She was really alone in this fight.

If only Ben had been there ... Maybe he would have had more answers or at least he would have understood how she felt.

If only he hadn't died ... If only Leia hadn't died ...

What would have happened if they had returned to Ajan Kloss together? Already how could they have left Exogol with only Luke's old plane? Rey was dodging that question, they were a dyad in the Force, indestructible together so that was not what would have stopped them. No, it was after it got tough.

Rey didn't dare imagine the heads of her friends when they saw Ben. 

She imagined the scene: furious Rose, Finn gaped in disbelief, Poe putting Ben at stake unless Chewie did it to avenge Han. The rest of the resistance gradually noticed his presence, the celebrations stopped dead, the hateful crowd, the cries of revenge and hatred ...

She could almost hear them ...

Taken him, handcuffed and locked him in a dungeon to decide his fate. 

She would have stayed whole days and nights in front of his cage to be near him, her hands clutching his through the bars. Him trying to stay strong despite fatigue, hunger and fear so as not to increase Rey's distress. 

And then ... the meeting with Leia, their hugs, their tears, their respective requests for forgiveness ... Leia finally stroking the face of her child for the first time in years, Ben's head buried in his arms.

Rey saw the scene as if it were real and it only made her sadder.

She knew only too well that the resistance would have shown no mercy towards Ben, the war had wreaked too much havoc.

And even if she could prove that he had done good in the end there were some acts that could not be erase: Poe had spoken of the village massacre of Lor San Tekka, Tuanul. Then there was the destruction of the Hosnian system, Ben being the highest ranking officer of the First Order it was on him that the charges would fall even if he wasn't guilty, all the crimes of the First Order will be he's. 

No matter how much she explained to them that Ben had been mentally manipulated and abused by Snoke throughout his life and that what he had done was the result of years of torture and conditioning, she highly doubted that anyone would listen to her.

Rey knew that Ben would not have been saved. There was no way the resistance would leave him alive, in exile somewhere.

And what would have been her fate to it? She would no doubt have been considered a traitor as well.

Rey had a hard time admitting it but she preferred that Ben died in her arms than executed.

But if only he hadn't died, he would still have had more time together.

If only...

It was generally at this point in her reflections that she ended up falling into a light sleep in the early morning, her face soaked with tears.

And it had been like this for several days now and Rey was starting to be exhausted and this exhaustion was betrayed by a growing frustration and anger like this morning with the wiring.

The afternoon was well advanced now and Rey was still seated under the arbor. She was still trying to meditate but she couldn't, rehashing over and over again.

She was still trying to get in touch with Luke and Leia:

"Be with me" she kept repeating, eyes closed. "Be with me please". But nothing.

A series of enthusiastic beeps interrupted her. BB-8 called her from the kitchen. She went down the steps and found the little droid who was waiting for her making joyful circles.

"Did you finish it all by yourself?"

The little droid beeped, showing her his work. The cables that had given her a hard time were now invisible, embedded in the walls under plates. The kitchen was thus finished, the household appliances waiting to be used. The set was not very modern since Rey had collected almost everywhere the equipment, some having several decades but everything was functional and that was what mattered.

Rey looked at the whole room: it was official, the work was finished. She had thought sometimes that she would never get there and yet the farm was operational again. The vaporators were working wonderfully, the water tanks were full, the electrical system was running at full speed, the air conditioning was cooling the interior ... everything was in place. Tomorrow she would begin to plant some seeds in the garden. 

Rey finally felt at home for the first time since her arrival and savored this moment.

"You did a good job, how about a cleaning session?" Rey asked BB-8 with a smile.

BB-8 bippa ferociously approving immediately the idea of being thoroughly cleaned and removing the sand that were trapped in its cogs.

Rey sat down on the floor and began to conscientiously clean his friend by dismantling some parts to remove the dirt. At times BB-8 beeped gently with satisfaction. She ended with a generous application of cog oil and checked his small, fragile antennas.

"And there you go !!" she hummed.

"I have never seen such a clean droid, it looks like a gemstone." someone joked from one of the corners of the kitchen.

Rey jumped and suddenly turned into a fighting position, arms raised, legs bent. Someone had just spoken from one of the dark corners of the kitchen, near the pantry.

"Who is here ?" she asked trying to sound as impressive as possible. "Show yourself !"

The heart beating Rey saw someone come forward and out of the shadows.


	4. A "family" reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think we have all failed, we have a collective responsibility.  
> Rey, you don't have to be ashamed of your feelings. Your compassion, that is to say an unconditional love, brought Ben to light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone ! I'm glad to see you like the story!  
> I tried in this chapter to make a small "family" reunion between the Skywalker. Although I don't particularly like the idea of Rey Skywalker, I wanted to make her interargue with Leia and Luke in her moments of doubt. In this chapter Leia and Luke express their regrets about their relationship with Ben and try to console Rey who begins to crack.  
> I also tried to explain how Leia and Luke knew about Rey Palpatine. I am not very satisfied with my explanation but I have not found others that are satisfied in view of the clues and elements that we have had so far. So don't hesitate to tell me in the comments if you see other things!  
> I also tried to include "swear words", in Harry Potter they say "by Merlin" so I tried to find something similar: "by the Force".  
> The fifth chapter is being written!  
> See you soon ❤️

From the shadows emerged Luke and Leia who laughed heartily. Luke wore his white tunic covered with a brown cape and Leia a white dress covered with a white cape which she had lowered the hood. They were surrounded by a bluish halo which dimmed as the light of day touched them.

Rey straightened up, relieved and happy to see them after all her calls through the Force.

"I feel like I'm going back in time." Luke noted wistfully as he looked around. "I can almost hear my uncle Owen and my aunt Beru calling me for dinner. You've renovated everything, it's a hell of a job."

In the voice of Luke Rey feels a certain admiration.

"I had help." she replied, pointing to BB-8.

"That doesn't prevent you from doing very well. You can be proud of yourself, at least I am." Leia said in a soft voice.

Was it Leia's loving voice or her kind look that made Rey crack but she dropped into the nearest chair sobbing and buried her head in her hands crying.

Luke and Leia exchanged looks and sat down on either side of Rey.

"What's wrong Rey? We felt your calls in the Force, you seemed tense. You know you can tell us everything my darling." Leia tried still with her calm and soothing voice, placing a hand on that of Rey.

Rey shivered at this contact and began to sniff:

"I'm just tired. I thought that by working from dawn until sunset, and by avoiding thinking too much, I could go on without question. But I was wrong, I started to think about everything what happened and now I’m not quiet anymore. I hardly sleep anymore, I spend my time wondering what would have happened if I had done things differently. questions and I don't have the answers. I don't know where I am anymore, I thought that by coming here I would be able to take stock and that I would be able to go ahead and decide what I want to do with my life. But I was wrong. "

Her voice broke:

"My whole life has been just a lie, I'm the descendant of a monster and I don't know how I'm going to live with that. Even if I don't have that cursed name, I have the impression that it is part of me anyway, that it defines me. I have a feeling of emptiness in me, I have the impression that by hiding from me all its years the truth I have been robbed of something . "

"We could have told you when we met you it's true." recognized Leia. "But I thought it was better for you if you ignored it. I mistakenly believed that it would not do you any good to know that it was your grandfather. You would have tortured your mind like now and It would have been for nothing. I wanted above all to trust your big heart that's why I taught you everything what I knew. You know if everyone was predefined by our blood no one would go very far... Luke and I are Vader's children. If people had held us accountable for his crimes we would not be here today. And that is applicable to many people we know. Blood ties do not govern all that matters are our actions and in this area you are exemplary. "

Rey sniffled, Luke nodded:

"When you came to Ach-To the first time I didn't immediately link the information I had removed from Besta's Oki ship on Pasaana to you. I knew he was looking for a little girl but I didn't have any more details. I didn't know he wanted to bring her to Palpatine. I didn't even know at the time that the Emperor had survived, I didn't feel anything in the Force , he maneuvered well like when he came to power the first time, the Jedi council hadn't seen anything coming in. I saw your powers already strong without training and your attraction to the dark side I started to wonder who you could be: were you the daughter of a powerful Force user or did you come from nowhere like my father? Your signature in the Force is complex, it reminded me of the aura I felt around of my nephew: this partly evil aura that revolved around him and which reminded me of that of the Emperor. I thought it was not possible, I thought he just had too much Vader in him. I crossed Snoke's path with Ben and we fought him. He exalted him with a manipulative and evil aura, the same as Palpatine. I began to wonder: Palpatine had had decades to gain access to immense powers and I began to doubt his death. I wondered if Snoke was not a clone or a pawn managed by Palpatine in secret from his hiding place. I was determined to look more along this path and I warned Leia, I had to inform her in case my hypotheses were founded and that it was necessary to warn the Senate. I told her about my hypothesis about the origin of Snoke and asked her to open her eyes if she ever felt anything in the Force or if she met someone with a special aura. "

"That's why when I met Rey through your signature in the Force I suspected who you were the descendant of." explained Leia.

Luke nodded and continued:

"If necessary I was ready to fight again, and that is how I found myself in the middle of the night in Ben's hut, saber in hand, telling myself that he was possessed and that I had to eliminate him. As you know this moment of distraction only lasted a few seconds but it was enough for it to turn into a complete disaster. After that I cut myself off from the Force and I retired to Ach- To. Action which, today I know, is the worst there is. I should have taken the problem at arm's length and started chasing Ben with Han. You know you're not the only one ask you what would have happened if we had made other decisions. "

"What do you mean?" asked Rey.

Leia sighed, wringing her hands:

"I have long accused Vader then Snoke then Palpatine of having corrupted my son but the truth is that we made it easier for him because of me and Han. We are partly responsible for the overthrow of Ben: we made him feel alone, rejected, abandoned. "

"It's not true you did everything you could for him." protested Rey

"It's nice to try to defend myself Rey but you don't know the whole story. We should have been more present as parents. Clearly we haven't been up to scratch and I'm ashamed of it. So ashamed ! My parents Bail and Breha were particularly loving parents and I couldn't be there for my son. I didn't live up to it. All that mattered was my Senate career, Han his flying, racing career then responsible for racing stables. Always more work, responsibility, travel, commitments ... When he was very small we were still quite present and then the work started to pile up and we let it go, believing he was tall enough to be alone with guarding staff or droids, while all he would have liked was spending time with us, learning to fly with his father. He became a silent, closed, mysterious child; he passed sometimes days without speaking and we didn't understand it. But how to blame him? We lived together but we were almost strangers and it got worse afterwards. He was only 10 years old when we entrusted him to Luke, we thought it would be better for him to learn to control his powers. We should have explained it better, better promised him that we would always be there, come to visit him regularly. We should have told him it was not a punishment. "

Leia's voice breaks, her eyes are lost in the void. When she picks up Rey is forced to strain her ear because her voice is so low:

"I dare not imagine what he must have felt, he must have experienced it as an abandonment. We didn't have time to be with him when he was with us so when he joined the temple on a distant planet we had even less time to visit him. We communicated mainly by hologram. And still it was very brief messages, we exchanged trivialities. We didn't see him grow, we weren't there for him. Most of the time we didn't even know where he was and what he was doing. We were afraid he would follow Vader's way so we didn't tell him anything about it, we wanted to wait he’s a teenager. And we’re constantly pushing the moment: from a teenage boy he went to a young adult and we still haven’t told him anything. I quickly told you how my career in the Senate ended after Ransolm Casterfo revealed that Vader was my father. It was a horrible thing but probably even more for him: he learned it through screens during a mission. The fact that we were hiding the truth from him must have made him believe that we didn't trust him and that was a betrayal and another disappointment for him. I sent him a hologram explaining why but in hindsight I think it must have looked pathetic: I was crying, asking forgiveness, trying to explain my reasons it must have looked like someone trying to fix the damage I'm not sure it made a difference. "

Rey doesn't know what to say anymore, she listens, records, trying to visualize Ben in his youth.

An image comes to her: a little boy playing with the golden dice of the Falcon, running through the corridors of an apartment, laughing chased by Han who tries to catch him. A little boy who tries to press the controls of the Falcon sitting on Chewie's lap while his father watches with fun and pride.

A little boy who is looking for his parents, a little boy who is gradually closing in on himself. She imagines him with shorter hair, the brown curls framing his face, laughing eyes not yet serious nor sad or angry ...

She sees him young man, dressed in a tunic similar to that of Luke, shy teenager , left, tall and thin who seems to have grown suddenly by 20 centimeters.

She imagines him trying to build her first saber, her slow and meticulous gestures, her brows frowning in concentration.

She imagined training with it under Luke's supervision, operating the blue blade for the first time with pride.

Leia's voice pulled her from her painful reverie:

"We should have looked more precisely for the cause of his nightmares."

"Nightmares?"

"Yes, he couldn't sleep and Han spent hours hugging him at night telling him about our adventures to try to soothe him and he fell asleep. But even when he fell asleep he spent very agitated nights, he woke up sometimes in the middle of the night shouting. Sometimes he spent several days without sleeping at all. We consulted doctors who told us that his night terrors would attenuate with grew. In fact he slept better but he still had nightmares, we weren't vigilant enough : we told him that everyone had nightmares. When the poor man must already have heard Palpatine whisper in his head. Poor boy : can't fall asleep because every night was a torment. "

Leia sighed before continuing:

"That's why Rey I consider myself responsible: it was easier for Palpatine to manipulate Ben by increasing his feeling of abandonment, of rejection. If we had been there it would have been more difficult for him: Ben would not have listened to him and would not have considered him as his only friend. Ben could have answered him when he told him that we didn't love him, that we wanted to get rid of him ...

What could he answer him? "It is false my parents love me, they worry about me." while we only communicate a few times a year?" That's why Luke I never considered you guilty  
. Your mistake only set fire to the powder, but the fire has been brewing for a very long time due to our fault. "

Luke cleared his throat:

"It's my fault too: I was too busy with my perpetual quest for artifact and building the new Jedi Order to give Ben the attention he needed. Oh well, of course, I trained him, taught him everything I knew but I should have spent more time with him not as a MASTER but as an UNCLE. I wasn't present enough for him at the temple : he often stayed alone. He was never close to my other students. On the one hand he was silent and on the other hand, although I tried to put them all on an equal footing, Ben was jealous because of his talents. He has always been out of step with them. I was the only person with whom it was better. And I was not up to it either: I should have trusted him more, given him more responsibilities ; I often treated him like a child , giving him the impression that he wasn't capable. It's developed in him a feeling of inferiority, a desire to prove his worth and that the Emperor very well knew how to amplify it and Ben's ressentiment towards me, amplifying the least of his doubts and fears. If I had been closer to him, he would have told me what was going on and then everything would have been different. "

Luke looked at his sister tenderly:

"I think we have all failed, we have a collective responsibility."

Leia smiles sadly.

"Why did we come to talk about Ben? We were talking about my origins at the base ..." Rey noted.

Luke and Leia exchanged a knowing look:

"Rey let's be honest with each other: we all know that what really pains you, what prevents you from finding peace - more than the fact that you are the descendant of a monster - it is the makes Ben not here anymore. That's what you regret the most: you wish you had done things differently so that he would be here today. "

Lei and Luke look at her with kindness, Rey feels herself blushing despite herself. How do they know? And what exactly are they aware of?

"You ... uh ... how? ... I mean ..."

"I suspected something" smiled Leia mischievously. "Last year when we discussed what happened on Ach-To and on the Supremacy I felt like you were hiding something from me. By probing the Force I realized that your torment came from my son, you were sad and disappointed. You didn't tell me exactly what happened, you lied to me by omission. I understood that you wanted to keep secret what "It happened between you, it was your private garden. I respected that and waited until you came to tell me about it when you were ready."

"I'm so sorry Leia, I should have trusted you. I should have opened my heart to you when there was still time. You were just waiting for that." resumed sobbing Rey.

"It's nothing Rey, I had my secrets too." reassured Leia, shaking her hand gently. "I have understood a lot since I left, I now know what you were trying to hide from me. I suspect that your link in the Force has brought you enormously together and that gradually you developed feelings for each other. Even if your story has been complicated you have finally found yourself. His absence must be intolerable to you."

Rey started to cry again, hearing the words out loud was like a stab in his already bruised heart.

"Only he could have understood me ... And now ... and now ... I feel like I've lost a part of myself."

"It's not over Rey." said Luke, shaking her arm. "No one is never really gone! We are no longer here and yet you are chatting with us. Try to contact Ben in the Force as you did with us."

"I tried but where I felt his presence in the past now I only feel empty!"

"Try again Rey, you are a dyad in the Force, an extremely rare powerful bond. The energy of this power is similar to Life itself! Ben is there somewhere and waits for you to contact him. Take your minds back, calm down, be open to the Force, put your anger aside, take the time you need to focus and when you are appeased try again to contact him. It's possible to contact all the Jedi of the past, he will be no exception. "

"Are you sure? I mean he went back to the Light side, but with what he has done, maybe he cannot appear, maybe only those who have never deviated can do it."

Luke shook his head:

"No, any Jedi regardless of his background and his errors can appear as long as he is strong enough in the Force. My father appeared to me on Endor after the war alongside Master Yoda and Master Kenobi and yet his list of crimes was much longer than Ben’s. Don’t worry Rey, Ben’s powerful enough and will appear to you if you call him. We appear when we feel the Jedi in question needs it and- - "

"But I need him, if he's somewhere he knows that!" Interrupted Rey. "I need to see him, to talk to him, I don't spend a night without thinking of him so why WHY BY THE FORCE HE'S NOT HERE WITH YOU ?! I LOVE HIM TO THE POINT THAT IT BECOMES PAINFUL, I HAVE THE IMPRESSION THAT MY HEART IS IN PIECES! "

Rey stops, blushing, it's one thing to have feelings for someone but another to admit them to the mother and uncle of the person in question.

In addition she is vaguely aware that love is prohibited among the Jedi, they must beware of developing feelings that could turn against either, become too intense and lead to wrongdoing.

Luke and Leia laughed softly with tenderness at seeing Rey's embarrassment.

"Rey, you don't have to be ashamed of what you feel: love is a wonderful feeling that gives wings. It transcends us and brings out the best that is in each of us. Your compassion, that is to say an unconditional love, brought Ben to light. I always thought that the old Jedi Order was wrong to proscribe attachment, in doing so it's a door open to regrets and frustration. If Ben had known you earlier I think everything would have been different. Believe me: if he doesn't appear it may be because you are no longer trying to contact him. "

Luke is at this very moment the image of the benevolent uncle.

Leia has her eyes lost in the air, a smile on her lips, Rey and Luke watch her laugh softly:

"I fell in love with a smuggler. And my son fell in love with someone who was a scavenger at the time. Fate is fun."

Leia looked up at Rey:

"Thank you for what you did for him Rey, he experienced a few moments of happiness before leaving. Luke is right you must try to contact him again through the Force. I know he's there somewhere, I have the sense. I'm sure he will appear to you eventually, talking to him will heal your heart. And maybe he has answers to your questions that we don't have, especially about your parents. "

Rey outlined a movement that Leia understood immediately, she opened her arms and hugged her: "My sweet child, so courageous ...".

Rey ended up getting up clearing her throat, she was crying enough and she didn't want to start again right away.

"One last thing Rey," said Luke, turning to her. "If I understood correctly you did not say anything about all this to your friends, am I wrong?"

Rey had the impression that Luke was looking at her like Maz with her magnifying glasses, she replied by looking away and focusing on the carpet on the floor:

"I didn't say anything. Most of them don't even know who Ben was. I didn't dare explain to them the connection we shared. None of them really understood the Force and I was afraid that they’re rejecting me. And now it’s too late I think, I’ve had a lot of opportunities to confess everything to them but I didn’t catch them; they will never want to understand why I care so much about Ben, they don’t will not listen to me when I tell them that he has returned to the light side. For them he is just one more monster and they will think that I have betrayed them. "

"The longer you wait for Rey, the more difficult it will be. I'm sure your friends care enough about you to forgive you for not trusting them. The Rebellion and the Resistance survived because its members trusted each other, didn't hide anything and because they believed in redemption. "

Leia was the voice of wisdom but Rey couldn't admit it.

"Besides, they must be bruised that you left them, they still need you."

"The war is over." protested Rey

"Yes, but the fighting has not stopped and everything has to be rebuilt. So I ask you the question: do you want to be a spectator or do you want to take your future and that of the galaxy in hand?"

It's Leia's turn to look at Rey with Maz's eyes. Rey knows she's right but--

"I don't know Leia, I can continue to fight but after what follows I don't think there will be a place for me, there will undoubtedly be politics and that is not my field. I had the attention to travel from system to system and free the slave children or help anyone in need. I was also thinking of looking for other Force-sensitive people and together we could revive a Jedi Order or something like that. I don't know what I'm going to do, I have to think. "

Luke and Leia nodded.

"Of course. But don't forget: whatever you decide your friends deserve to let you know. We are stronger together than alone."

With these words, they started to move away, Rey didn't take their eyes off them, wanting to engrave their images and their words in his head not knowing when she would see them again for the next time.

"Rey?"

Luke looked over his shoulder and winked at her :

"Continue your training."

The end of the afternoon passed quickly, Rey went up the access staircase with her saber, a helmet and a sphere of Marksman combat training. She trained under the admiring gaze of BB-8 who whistled for encouragement.

In the distance two people watched the training session, making Rey not aware of their presence.

"Very beautiful lightsaber." Luke commented. "I have rarely seen this color of crystal. But it makes sense I think: the Force guided her towards a crystal representing power of the light side and which were traditionally hold by the guards of the Jedi temple of Coruscant. They were dedicated to life to protect the temple. They were extremely good at fighting. Even if Rey doesn't know it yet, she will dedicate her life to protecting what remains of the Jedi and their stories. "

"Hence the fact that you tell her to keep training." remarked Leia.

They watched Rey's training in silence for a few minutes.

"She is really gifted. She reminds me of someone: preferring physical training to meditation." Luke shouted, looking at his sister with mischief.

"Me ?! Hey!" Protested Leia, falsely indignant, her hand on her chest, staring at her twin. "I have progressed, I’m the one who taught Rey how to get in touch with the old Jedi, I remind you.

"Who would have believed it !" Luke chuckled.

Leia shared his laugh, it felt good, it reminded her of the good old days with Han, Chewie and Lando: they had spent so many good times together.

Luke became serious again:

"Despite your speech on trust, you still hid things from her ... Why didn't you tell her about the world between the worlds about Ben? The opportunity was good though ..."

Leia sighed:

"I didn't want to give her false hopes, she is already suffering enough. I don't want to make her dangle a possible return of Ben and then take him away. It would be cruel. I prefer that she try to return in contact with him on her side. Maybe that will be enough ... "

They were silent, the two of them not wanting to say what they thought jointly: Ben should already have come back. Luke finally breaks the silence and expresses his concern aloud:

"With the Force transfer that you did, normally he would have already--"

"I know." Leia interrupted, wringing her hands. "I don't understand."

"Maybe he doesn't want to come back?"

"WHY? Rey is waiting for him, she loves him. For the first time in his life he has someone who really understands him, who looks like him, who is waiting for him somewhere. So why by the Force wouldn't he want to come back? "

"You know as well as I do that he will face charges, there will undoubtedly be a trial. And all of Rey's love and courage will not be enough to save him!"

"Hence the fact that I asked Rey to speak to his friends, Poe is the leader of the Resistance now. If she can convince him, his word will weigh heavily in the balance if there is a judgment! Instead of being executed he could have a life sentence at the other end of the galaxy. He would still be guilty but at least he would be alive! "

Luke sighed, Leia's shoulders lowered, defeated momentarily. She hoped so much, she believed so much.

Luke hugged her gently.

"We will do everything for. But for the moment I think that a little discussion is necessary with a certain garment."

Leia gasped, nervous:

"What if he doesn't want to see us? It's been so long ..."

"Well we will be fixed, anyway he has no other place to go. He will have to listen a little."

They turned one last time to where Rey was training: the girl had put her training sphere down and was talking to BB-8.

"We will keep an eye on it but I think it will be fine.

She's on the right track. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Crystal](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Crystal)
> 
> [Explanation of crystal colors](https://sites.psu.edu/ninoscorner/2016/09/29/light-saber-colors-explained/)
> 
> [Jedi Sentinel](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Jedi_Sentinel)
> 
> [Lightsaber](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Lightsaber_crystal)
> 
> [Marksman combat training sphere](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Marksman-H_combat_remote)


	5. Port in a Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Basically I wanted to do this meeting with a point on the missions in progress, another on the current situation and finally the most important point: the organization of the resistance.  
> Before you disperse I have several to give to several of you. Leia made me promise to give them to you when the time comes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, sorry for the wait: I had lots of rehearsals, revisions for the contests so it was complicated to write.  
> Here is a very looooong chapter, I wanted to delve deeply into resistance and its organization. 
> 
> ⚠ The chapter could change a lot: I have already modified it with the information I found in the visual guide. But I don't know yet if all the characters I mentioned are still alive after Exegol so maybe I would have to change names / stories.  
> I also introduced new characters to the pilots: pilots with a particularly short lifespan in general, I estimated that after Exegol there would be a new recruitment to replace those who died.  
> For the final scene I was inspired by a scene from a French film "les Bronzés font du ski" 😂
> 
> Don't worry, the next chapter will be on some beautiful dark brown men. Guess who it is... 😉

Night had long fallen on the jungle of Ajan Kloss.

The sounds of the engines had stopped as did the constant back and forth of the resistance fighters.

Everything was calm, you could hear the sound of the wind resting in the leaves of the trees and the song of some birds. The heat was less strong and pleasant.

Thousands of stars twinkled in the sky. It was a perfect night to sleep under the stars, which many resistance fighters had done: the base had no cave fitted out for the members and until now they had used Leia's command ship, the Tantive IV, to sleep. But with the arrival of new members after the Battle of Exegol, the ship had become too small to hold everyone at night at the same time. Considering the pleasant climate and the absence of predator in the jungle, many took advantage of it to sleep and spend the night under the stars in makeshift camps which began to gain momentum and looked more and more like small villages. We could also see in the distance the campfires lit by the small groups.

Some continued to speak around the fire, others danced to the sounds of small musical instruments brought with them.

All were relaxed, carefree.

Except Poe Dameron. Who currently was fighting sleep in front of a holographic console head bobbing back and forth in spurts. He was holding in his hand a thermos of caf which obviously had not had the expected effect and which was now dripping on the floor.

A light on the console lit red and beeped, someone was contacting the base.

Poe woke up suddenly, finishing spilling the rest of the coffee.

"I'm awake, I'm awake."

He pressed the button, the light turned green:

"Here General Poe Dameron, identify yourself!"

"It's Jess. We're here. I'll get back to you later if there's anything new."

"Well received."

Poe had trouble concentrating: what was Jess talking about? Ah yes the mission of the black squadron!

"Hey Jess?"

"Yes ?"

"Keep an eye on Wedge in case ..."

"It's planned, Suralinda doesn't leave him and she is ready to jump on him and bite him if necessary."

Poe smiled despite the fatigue imagining the Squamatan showing her teeth:

"No need to fall into extremes but just make sure it comes back in one piece."

"Copy that ! Terminated."

The light went out, Poe fell back into his chair, if you could still call it an armchair: the quilted leather was probably as old as Chewie and half ripped open. But when the Resistance had set up, it had not had the luxury of being choosy: we had taken what we had found, stolen, accepted.

His neck ached from falling asleep with his head thrown back. He cracked it from right to left.

"You should take a break." scolded someone behind his back.

Poe surprised, got up suddenly which led to the fall of his chair.

"Relax man it's just me." Finn walked over to the console with his hands raised in the air as if he was surrendering.

Poe picked up his chair and fell back into it, rubbing his eyes 

"Sorry buddy, I didn't hear you coming."

"You only slept a few hours in almost two weeks. I can take you over, you know."

"I know but I prefer to be there in case--"

"Don't you miss it right?" Finn interrupted, dropping on a bench in the corner of the cave.

"Mhh?"

"Fly."

"I know I know" sighed Poe. He went to lean against the wall of the cave which opened onto the jungle and looked at the starry sky.

"I belong to the stars." He looked at the amazed sky. "If there is one thing I am sure of and that I have always been sure of, it would be my life in the stars. The speed, the chases, the adrenaline rush, the feeling of defying the elements , challenges... "

He went to sit on the seat where Finn sat.

"From the age of 6 I knew that I would be a pilot one day like my mother, I started to learn with her, on her knees, in her old RZ-1 A-wing. I outdid myself to become the better, to make her proud of me from where she is. When I fly she is with me all the time. "

He looked at Finn:

"Flying is my whole life. And now I'm more or less grounded. The funniest thing is that I always wanted to take my stripes and now I almost come to regret."

"What do you regret exactly?"

Poe let himself go against the bench, his gaze lost in contemplation of the roof of the cave.

"I have always been a man of action and there I find myself directing from a console, constantly briefing, trying to manage everything at the same time in this bazaar. I don't know how Leia managed to be on all foreheads whatever the time of day or night. I have even more respect for her now that I know what it's like to be the chef. Especially when you have a crazy dog like me who challenges decisions and sets up mutinies. "

Finn laughed.

"She loved you precisely for that I think. To be a crazy dog who ended up questioning herself. I don't say that you did it quickly or with a good heart huh! Rather after having slapped you .. . "

Poe sneered, playing the scene in his head again. At the time he hadn't laughed but now with hindsight he knew he had deserved it and that it had pushed him to question himself. He regretted that Leia was no longer there to slap him.

"I miss her, I've known her for so long. I feel like I lost my mother a second time."

Finn patted him on the knee, sympathetic:

"I knew her less than you, but I admired her, she was a giant."

"Yeah, I don't know how she did it all this time, fighting constantly, without respite."

"It was the fight of a lifetime. Of HER life" concludes Finn.

Poe nodded, absent. His eyes were fixed on the console which projected the locations of the members who left on a mission. Finn followed his gaze:

"Do you want to make a point of all the missions now instead of tomorrow? So you can sleep a little ..."

"No, there must be everyone: Rose, Kaydel, Larma, Chewie, Beaumont, Wrobie, Maz and Ransolm. Poe listed on his fingers so as not to forget anyone." There are a lot of things that we have to discuss. It can't be resolved tonight in ten minutes, we will do that tomorrow. "

"Someone called me?"

Poe and Finn jumped when they saw Rose arrive with Chewie on her heels.

Rose grabbed a hanging metal stool and settled down next to them.

Chewie gave them a few groans that Poe and Finn understood as being an express request that they push themselves to make room for him in the seat.

"So boys, don't you sleep?"

"Not really." managed to answer Poe, compressed between Finn and Chewie, cheek stuck in his fur.

"Did I hear you were talking about a meeting?"

"Not everyone is there. Poe wants to reunite the chain of command, those who are not on mission." Finn replied in place of Poe who was busy wrestling with Chewie.

"It can be arranged." Rose got up.

"Rose, wait, it's the _middle_ of the night. We can't--"

"Since when being resistant is sleeping on your two ears for 8 standard hours ?" Rose was staring at Finn. "We mustn't relax, it's still far from over. Are you coming to help me Chewie?"

Chewie, currently engaged in a look battle with Poe, eventually stands up and follows Rose, growling.

Poe and Finn watched them go. Poe turned to Finn:

"Is she really going to wake them up?"

"Uh yes I think she will really do it."

And indeed a few minutes later Rose reappeared, dragging Kaydel, Larma and Wrobie in his wake.

Larma rubbed her eyes and tried to tie her blindfold in her tousled hair. Kaydel looked a little haggard. Wrobie didn't bother with formalities:

"I hope there is a good reason why you wake us up Dameron if not--"

Wrobie although a lieutenant always addressed Poe informally, already because they were both pilots and especially because Wrobie always had on her heart the error of judgment of Poe which had cost the lives of all her companions of Cobalt Squadron.

Poe let it go, he knew he still had a long way to go to be forgiven for his mistakes by everyone and moreover he knew that Wrobie, although being "pain in the neck", was nevertheless loyal to him.

Before he can answer Chewie reappeared accompanied by Maz, Ransolm and Beaumont.

Maz was busy putting ointment around her eyes. Ransolm, although he was the middle of the night, had wrapped himself in an elegant cloak which made him appear to be the senator he had once been, ready to go on his worldly obligations. Beaumont conversed with Chewie about strategic techniques for Dejarik.

Ransolm smiles at Poe:

"When a wookie comes to wake you up, we have to follow him. Is something going on General?"

Poe gave them time to grab a stool or lean against the walls of the cave before they started:

"Okay already thank you for being there and--"

"We weren't really given the choice." recalled Maz, who was now spreading the ointment on her hands. Ointment that smelled strongly of ammonia and Poe wondered if Maz had not brought with one of the lotions made from feline excrement that she used on Ephemera. Considering the disgusted head of Finn and Larma he assumed that yes.

"But when my fiance asks me ..."

Chewie made a sound that could be described as laughing.

"Basically I wanted to do this meeting tomorrow morning but Rose persuaded Finn and I to do it now since we were awake. On the program: a point on the missions in progress, another on the current situation and finally the most important point: the organization of the resistance. Questions? Ransolm? "

"I shouldn't be here, I'm not in the chain of command, I'm not a ranking officer. I'm very honored, but I don't think I have a say."

"Leia believed that you had all the qualities to join us, you have real leadership. This is what we essentially need now that the First Order is defeated."

Ransolm opened his mouth, then closed it and sat down again. Poe waited and seeing that Ransolm no longer seemed to want to contradict him he continued:

"To begin with, the missions." Lieutenant Connix stood up and projected a hologram indicating who was on mission with which ships.

Poe decided to start with the most recent news:

"Currently Suralinda Javos and Jessika Pava of the black squadron are accompanying Wedge Antilles and three ground force teams on Exegol in order to search for possible survivors and body remains. They relay the team that has been there for one week. Jess just call us : they've arrived, they're watching Wedge closely. "

Poe caught the look that Wrobie and Maz shared. He sighed :

"I know, there's no way we can find Snap's remains. But--"

"We know Poe." Rose cut him off. "You couldn't oppose Norra and Karé."

Everyone bowed their heads, each remembering the daily pain of the two women. Their plight had prompted Poe and the council to grant Wedge to go to Exegol to look for possible remains.

Poe swallowed his tears with difficulty:

"When you're a pilot you always expect to leave, to lose your friends. The hard part is that he died in the last battle after having survived all the others."

Finn sympathized, he knew what it was like to lose a brother in arms, someone with whom we had been on a mission and in training for years.

"So Dreanna Conunda and Gandris Dyun will be back tomorrow with the Fortitude and their comrades, they have recovered some ship debris and electronic equipment but nothing more."

"We are still taking material, it can always be used." remarked Rose, as a captain in the engineer section she never refused a bonus material in order to complete the motley and used equipment that the Resistance possessed.

"As soon as they arrive, the load will be all yours and your team." Poe agreed. "Then we heard from Ambassador Yendor."

Commander Larma d'Acy took over: "Ambassador Yendor succeeded with the help of the Twi'lek people in taking back their planet Ryloth from the hands of the First Order."

This announcement was greeted with appreciative exclamations. Ransolm Casterfo looked particularly pleased.

"With the Ryloth Defense Authority they succeeded in folding the capital Lessu. They suffered no casualties, just a few wounded but nothing serious. The ambassador wishes to stay on site to help rebuild their independent government and guide its people to take control of their destinies.

"He will have work to do." Ransolm pointed out. "Their planet was plundered by the Empire then by the Hutt and the Red Nikto and the First Order didn't have to fix the situation. During our mission with Leia several years ago, all their documents were written hand in parchment, no technology, no droids because they can't afford it. The occupation by the First Order had to halt the advances that Yendor had managed to achieve. "

"His son Charth, on the other hand, will return as soon as possible with pilot friends. He wishes to continue the fight with us in order to honor the memory of his deceased sister Hahnee."

"I like this one there, he pilots well, it would be good to incorporate him permanently." Wrobie looked at Poe, who motioned for her to discuss it later.

Larma ends the update on the situation in Ryloth:

"Yendor told us that they had taken prisoners: mere troopers and a few officers. The First Order had not left a large military force there, they had considered that the planet was not worth it. He assures us of his loyalty and clarified that if we ever need help, the defense authority will be happy to support us. "

"It makes us less strong, now is not the time ..." Finn pointed out, shaking his head.

"We can't stop people from wanting to go home and leave us Finn, we don't force anyone." objected Rose.

Lieutenant Connix got up in turn to report:

"Fortunately we should soon have new recruits from Mon Cala. Colonel Aftab Ackbar is indeed in the process of regaining control of his native planet with his B-wing squadrons. He is progressing slowly, the fighting is difficult because sympathizers of the First Order hide in the population. He hopes to be able to regain control of Dac City within two or three days. He expects to meet there the opposition of the troops of stormtroopers but also of certain generals mon calamari and quarren who initially opposed going to war and to do so had contacted the First Order in order to gain their good graces by denouncing the presence of resistance fighters last year. "

Rose frowned at the memory of their mission with Leia on Mon Cala, she didn't support betrayal whatsoever.

"If necessary the colonel is ready to set up a secret mission in order to go to King Ech-Char and convince him to intervene personally with his generals and commanders in order to obtain their surrender."

"His father would be so proud of him." sighed Larma

Poe turned to Kaydel:

"Contact him and tell him that if he needs air reinforcements we can send him some."

Kaydel approved, added something to her touch pad, and sat back down.

Finn stood up:

"My turn! Just some news from General Calrissian and Jannah. With his company they liberated the shipyards from the troopers garrison. In thanks they will send us ships."

"That's cool!" exclaimed Wrobie enthusiastically. ""We are finally going to have as many planes as pilots. I have heard that the new X-wings are crazy! It seems that their propulsion has been increased by--"

"Wrobie _please_ don't ! Not now!" Poe begged.

Wrobie rolled her eyes but refrained from answering.

Finn sat down again and Beaumont, who until then, had remained silent emerged from the shadows and advanced.

"Recovering distant planets is already a good start, but I think you will agree with me: more is needed. Major planets must be freed or formalize their support for our cause so that the situation changes significantly. Naboo is now officially at our side. I sent spies to planets which joined the Senate Centrist Party and secretly wished the return of an Empire. With the help of Senator Casterfo we have targeted certain planets in priority for their roles. historical, strategic and economic. We are currently compiling information in order to know if the First Order is still there and if so with what forces. "

Chewie interrupted him and gave a series of groans.

"I would like Chewie but I doubt that the popular uprising will be very useful if there is an army in front of it. These kind of people are capable of shooting at their own people."

Beaumont resumed his presentation:

"We started with Hevurion. The senator who represented it, Erudo Ro-Kiintor, secretly plotted with the First Order in exchange for large sums of money."

"I remember that." Poe interrupted. "Leia had sent us with the Rapier squadron to try to collect evidence about her ties to Hux and Snoke."

"Absolutely." Beaumont agreed. "From the communications we have received, it seems that the planet serves as a base for several troopers of troopers. My spies have also reported to me the presence of certain senior officers. Captain, commander and perhaps even a general."

"What was he doing there?" asked Wrobie.

"If that turns out to be correct, he went in person to the sympathizers in order to conclude a contract to include a base on the planet. And according to my information, Senator Ro-Kiintor is still alive."

Ransolm Casterfo clenched his fists, he had been betrayed and unjustly accused of murder and among the many who had turned their backs on him while knowing he was innocent was Ro-Kiintor.

"Impossible!" Interrupted Maz. "All of the Senate was reduced to dust when Hosnian Prime was destroyed!"

"According to my sources, the First Order secretly warned its contacts on the spot. They all apparently left the city just before the disaster."

"Are you telling us that these people knew and that they left _without_ saying anything, leaving millions of people to be killed?" Finn was disgusted. Consternation painted on his face when Beaumont nodded.

"These people are no worse than the First Order." whispered Rose, her voice trembling.

"We will make them pay." Poe promised him, shaking his hand. He motioned for Beaumont to continue.

"The planet Kuat, known for having massively supplied the Empire with its ships, seems to have signed the same type of agreement with the First Order. The yards are watched by soldiers and officers of lower ranks. They are few , the majority of the tasks are carried out by natives. "

"Next mission, then?" asked Wrobie.

Poe and Finn looked at each other then:

"We are going to send a message to their government telling them that we are chasing the First Order and that we are giving them the opportunity to act themselves before we disembark."

"The artificial satellite Orinda would also be interesting. It is one of their fuel depots, it is hardly kept. Many supporters have fled, notably Senator Fatil"

Ransolm started again, for several minutes he had the impression of attending a party meeting with all these names mentioned before him. The past paraded before his eyes.

"Perfect!" barked Wrobie. "We enter, we come out, we siphon the tank like that, any remains of the Order will go elsewhere!"

Beaumont continued unperturbed:

"I also sent spys on Arkanis because its senator, Carise Sindian, played a lot in the fall of the New Republic and the secession of the centrist planets. They reported to me that no particular military presence was to be noted. Apparently the planet is a little dissociated from the First Order after Hosnian Prime. Besides no one would have seen the officials again. They are hiding, from what it seems.

"Too little, too late!" Kaydel exclaimed, shaking his head, his eyebrows raised. "It's not enough to say 'Sorry we didn't want that.'"

"From a military and strategic objective point of view I think we can leave it aside for the moment, that will interest us later when there are lawsuits on responsibilities." Larma pointed out.

"Are you okay, Senator?" asked Maz. She looked at Ransolm through his magnifying glasses, her eyes multiplied.

Ransolm shook his head in denial:

"Hear this name ... after all this years ..."

"We will restore your name. I promise you." Poe said solemnly. "Leia made me promise."

Ransolm blinked and looked away:

"Leia ... I tarnished her reputation and despite all that ..."

"She believed in second chances." Poe said flatly. "And so are we! Beaumont more information?"

"Yes about Coruscant, I particularly emphasized it knowing how important the city had been to the Empire. The planet seems to have stood apart from Hosnian Prime, however there are rumors that some Order officials meet in bars at night to make plans. I cannot confirm yet, I will be more soon. "

"Ok, let's keep an eye on it. What else?"

"Finally, I would like to talk about Corellia. It seems that there is still a strong presence of the Order on the spot. We don't yet have a precise count, but they strengthened their presence after our mission of the year last. There would be troops but especially administrative staff. "

"I think your contacts should get in touch with the Collective for more information. They are well organized and could lend us a hand." proposed Poe.

"Are you sure about that?" Finn asked.

"I don't like them too much either but they are effective. Even if their costs are ... excessive." Poe replied bitterly, remembering Nifere Shu who had shamelessly emptied the funds of the Resistance in exchange for shelter even when they had just saved her life.

"Okay, I'll pass the message to them." Beaumont agreed. "Here I am finished."

Poe stood up:

"Good if we recap: first we contact Kuat and if necessary we launch a raid to dislodge the Order." Kaydel stood up and started to list the goals on a hologram.

"At the same time we can launch the raid on Orinda. It's fast. And we will monitor the situation on Corellia and Coruscant while waiting for news from Mon Cala, Ryloth and Hevurion. And we are also awaiting the report of the expedition to Exegol. "

Poe ran his hands over his eyes. How long have they been talking? He needs caf...

As if she had read in her mind Maz suddenly stood up announcing:

"I'm going to make caf because otherwise I swear by the Force that I will force you all to spread my ointment on your head if you keep talking without respite. Especially you _flyboy_." she added towards Poe.

"Why always me?" he replied falsely outraged.

The break did them good, they didn't feel rested but they were ready to start a new round of discussions.

"Okay fine, with everything we've touched on I think this is the right approach to tell you about ... what can I call it? Er ... prospects?" Poe tried.

Larma frowned: "prospects?"

"Yes I don't know about you but I find that the more we advance the less we see where we are going. At least that is the impression I have. Maybe it was because we were convinced that we would loseand we haven't prepared the future but the more it goes the more we move into chaos. "

Poe paused and looked at them:

"I mean, we release the planets, okay it will take us months maybe more. And after? We track down what remains of the First Order or the Last Order whatever its name, we take prisoners and then what do we do with it? There is no more law in the galaxy, no more Republic. "

"We must restore the Republic then." Wrobie said as if it made sense while drinking her caf.

"Yes but how? I have the impression that everyone is waiting in their corner, watching what is happening. And restoring a Republic in what form? We already had a new one and it failed and yet everyone said after the Empire "Never again" but nothing prevented the rise of the First Order. "

"The New Republic was far too lax, it was a victim of itself," agreed Ransolm. "When I was still in the Senate every question that could have been settled in a few hours took whole days of negotiations, of futile debates. The Senators spent their time nitpicking over form and not substance, intriguing for their personal interests. It was Chancellor Mon Mothma who had managed to maintain a balance and a rigor in the Senate. After her departure, there was no longer a leader with a real charisma which made consensus around him and the Senate quickly divided between Populist and Centrist with the consequences you know. "

All agreed, aware of the issue.

"I think that what is essential is to bring together the influential figures in our cause and then work for the creation of a stronger Republic. It's only once the Republic is proclaimed that we can move forward on substantive issues such as the fate of prisoners or the establishment of a trial. Voices have already been raised to demand the return of the Republic, we must take advantage of it, we must rally people to our cause with proposals, bills, an idea for the future. Above all, we need a charismatic project leader, whether it be a man or a woman, people must identify with him and trust him. "

Saying that Ransolm turned to Poe. Poe looked around, everyone was staring at him:

"Me ?! No, it's not possible! I am not made to be a diplomat, even if I try to improve myself I am basic someone who rushes in the heap. I am not made for hushed negotiations, to handle the tongue of wood, to make leg circles ... It will not be me! Already that I consider that my place is not to be general then it is not to become the candidate for the restoration of the Republic. I can support the cause, bring my support and my voice but I am not able to be more than that. Sorry. "

Maz broke the silence that had just fallen on the group:

"It's good to know how to recognize your limits Poe. We may be able to do something with you in the end."

Poe refrains from laughing.

Finn punched him lightly in the shoulder:

"Thank you for escaping dude! I warn you it won't be me either!"

Rose, Larma, Wrobie, Kaydel shook their heads, saying "neither did I."

"I have other plans, I thought that maybe I would leave to free slave children like on Canto Bight. Not immediately but when things will have calmed down." Rose explained.

"I have a crazy charm, everyone knows it. I will be the ideal candidate." Beaumont joked, making everyone laugh. "Joking aside, I have an idea of the perfect candidate. Still young, dynamic, true leadership, a deep knowledge of the political sphere ..."

While speaking Beaumont had turned so as to find himself facing Ransolm who widened his eyes:

"Seriously? Should I remind you that I am still considered an assassin, a conspirator and a traitor? Do you really think that people will trust me? I would hardly have opened my mouth when my crimes were brought out! I can't represent you, I'll tarnish your image. "

"Just prove your innocence." Rose said. "It was Carise Sindian who set up the plot against you, right?"

Ransolm nodded, the look black.

"There is a list of wanted criminals that is being set up by the free systems of the galaxy: officers of the First Order, financiers, politicians who supported them ... We must be able to justify their placement on the list but once it's done we have the freedom to search for them and question them. "

"How long would it take to put her on the list?" asked Poe.

"I can do it in a few minutes." replied Larma. "I just need a description, a visual, the justification and the last known location."

"The location my men can take care of." said Beaumont. "I'm going to tell them not to take her eyes off her, she's hiding but I think she will try to run away when she learns that she is on the list."

"Great! Ransolm if we get her to confess,are you in it or not?"

Ransolm stood up:

"If my name is washed then I would proudly fulfill this role with honor." he declared solemnly.

"That's it!" applauds Maz. "Excuse me for a few minutes, I need to give you something. Chewie, can you come please?"

They watched Maz leave intrigued, then plunged back into the meeting.

"Good as soon as Maz returns we will stop the meeting." proposed Poe. "But before I ask you to come back here tomorrow, we have to launch the various missions that we just mentioned and above all that we are restructuring our workforce."

"What do you mean ?" Larma worried, frowning.

Poe sighed:

"We cannot continue like this with the old squadrons which are almost decimated apart from a member or two and the new recruits who do nothing but their heads.

Finn agreed:

"He is right, we hardly know the new ones, they have joined us but they do what they want when they want. We held meetings to meet everyone but some didn't come, every day I feel like I’m seeing new heads coming out of the jungle. Right now there’s several sleeping outside and I’m not willing to bet they don’t have their communicators, they won’t even be there if there is an alert. "

Kaydel looked at Larma who still didn't look convinced:

"He's not wrong, you have to tighten the screws. I know you don't like the idea that the Resistance is losing efficiency and that what you built with Leia needs to be improved but we really need it now. After, it will be too late."

Larma ends up bowing his head defeated. "What do you offer General?"

Poe took a deep breath: "A briefing tomorrow before the start of the expedition to Orinda with reassembly of suspenders. We will take the opportunity to announce the new assignments and the next missions."

He turned to Wrobie:

"Now that we have increased the numbers of pilots we will be able to re-form real squadrons with assigned members and no longer decide randomly who flies with whom. We will be more efficient as well. If you agree I would like us to work together on this reallocation issue. "

Wrobie seemed surprised by this expression of confidence.

"OK, what do we start with?"

"I was thinking of asking Aftab when it will be there to reform the Crimson squadron with its B-wings and StarFortress."

"Good idea, it will make us a good bomber squadron! Then?"

"Shriv Suurgav is still in command of Dross Squadron, I don't know for how many more time, he may want to return to his retirement. But in the meantime he has under his orders Pacer Agoyo, his niece Zay Versio, Wesson Dove and his wife Raidah Doon. I would ask him if he doesn't want to change the name of the squadron to Inferno or Phantom since some of them are former pilots of these squadrons. They need one more member following the death of Sanrec Stronghamer. "

"Why not Teza Nasz? She has more or less operated alone since last year by hanging on to one group or another. It would be good to incorporate her permanently." proposed Kaydel who was scrolling through the files of the different pilots.

Poe and Wrobie seemed undecided. Kaydel insisted: "I know she has a special character but it would work out if she was not permanently assimilated to her status as former imperialist killer."

Poe finally gives in: "Okay, let's give it a try. We will offer her tomorrow and we'll see what she decides. Okay then?"

"The Blue squadron. Yolo Ziff is the only one left. I plan to appoint him commander and recruit some of the new ones to make his X-Wing team."

"He will love it! How much do you bet that within two days we will have a new propaganda poster of him showing off ?!"

Everyone laughed, Yolo's drawing skills were well known; he had greatly helped the Resistance by making documentaries on the abuses of the First Order.

"Ok I think we can putthe twins Tara and Ies Ile Duncan under his orders. They come from Naboo, they flew in N-1s and are pretty good. They say they can fly with anything. From Naboo too : Shaza Zaro, our helmet designer and artist. She's in a Y-wing. She flies with Lega Fossang. There's also Merl Cobben in A-wing. I think it would be nice to put him in blue in tribute to Tallie.

"Good. Farrell Squadron, A-wing pros. I had thought of assigning Merl to it, but you're right. What do we have?"

 **"** Mipeoy Arpuil and Andducrn Granse of Hosnian Prime and Oicducpe Jaanil of Jakku".

"I know the first two but the last ..."

"He lacks experience, he learned more or less on his own on old planes."

"Okay, let's give him a chance. 

We can add Daulu Duar, Luoyes Ardui, Lucdauoy Blanil. "He pointed to the three on the holograms that Kaydel projected. There was an Abednedo and two humans." They are really good and what I could see they're strong heads. "

"And you like that, don't you?" teased Wrobie.

Poe smiled, decidedly he had to work with her more often, he began to appreciate her.

"Then I thought of putting the Red Squadron under the command of its two surviving members Bastian and C'ai Threnalli. And then filling up with our elders."

"Well then we have Nimi Chireen, Clemitt Polus and Jeyo Garanam who has just been put back on their feet. Among the new ones we can add Floducan Roanes in T-70. I observed her, she's impressive. I think she will finish leader one day. "

Poe listed the troops: "Well, Crimson, Farrell, Blue and Red squadron is done. We move on to Cobalt."

He turned to Wrobie:

"You are officially appointed commander of your squadron! Congratulations!"

Wrobie looked stunned, Larma hugged her, muttering congratulations.

"I do n't know what to say..."

"Ba just give me the names."

"Ok then I want the Twi'lek Jeadauan and the Abednedo Pionur Napees in T-70 and in StarFortress Raernc Amblns, Lefra Blam and Squamatan Noefera. And of course Fossil in supervision of StarFortress as before.

Wrobie, particularly enthusiastic, revolved around holograms:

"I can't believe I'm going to have my own team! Rose, will you be our technician like before? Is that possible in addition to your other tasks?"

Rose nodded and Wrobie began to gesticulate, thumbs up: "Great !!!"

Poe smiles, delighted to see the joy of Wrobie.

"Okay let's go to the Green squadron which has traditionally been an A-Wing squadron. Any ideas?"

"Why not them?" Finn pointed, pointing to a group of people on the hologram, 3 men and 4 women.

"Former bounty hunters?" Larma frowned. "Are you sure this is a good idea? It seems that some are not very recommendable ..."

"Like many of us. "said Poe. "If they are here it is because they want to fight on the right side. They know how to take risks, are determined. I like this attitude. Nevertheless I will put them under the command of Zorii. If she agree."

Finn chuckled: "She's going to love it, I feel like you're going to get hit again."

Poe smiled despite himself: "She is looking for action, challenges, adrenaline. She could accept."

He entered other data: "I think I entrust the Coalstreak squadron to Charth and his Twi'Lek friends when they return. Captain Iolo Arana will return from missions with his own members he recruited according to his adventures for the Dagger squadron. And finally ... "

"The Black squadron !!!" exclaimed Rose.

"Okay, there are still me, Jess and Suralinda. Knowing that I'm less available than before and that I--"

"And me ?!" interrupted a woman's voice emerging from the shadows.

They all turned around and saw Karé Kun emerge. She, who was so dynamic, now seemed exhausted, drained of all energy. Her big dark circles under her eyes made her look sick. Her hair was dull. Everything in her expressed sadness. She approached the console:

"Am I fired?"

"No Karé not at all." apologized Poe. "But I thought you would leave us with Wedge and Norra, at least that's what they suggested to me ..."

"They better speak for them! I need a job, I need a goal in life!"

"Karé listen, you--" sighed Poe.

"No you listen Poe Dameron! I lost my husband, each passing day is a burden, I spend my time locked in my cabin brooding. I want - no I NEED to have something useful to do. And above all I want to kick the ass of the First Order to the end of the galaxy !! Did you understand me Poe Dameron ?!"

"Received 5 of 5! Er ... you want to stay in the Black squadron or take over the helm of Stiletto squadron?"

"I'm taking this one again. With ... let's see ... Morbruis Roanil, Brumo Char, Moset Archil and wait ... a wookie ???"

Chewbacca uttered a series of small grunts which Beaumont translated:

"He says Lear is smaller which makes her fit into the cockpit."

"Perfect, I take her! And finally the keshian Marlarir Noanil! This is my team !"

She dropped into the nearest chair

Kaydel posted the files of the Black squadron:

"So someone is missing to replace Snap, Karé, L'ulo and Oddy."

Poe rubbed his head and paraded the remaining pilots:

"With them, we will be complete: sullustan Bencl Rato and Clmaam Torars, Eraure, Deware Plle and Erwdewau."

Kaydel re-entered the names into the new assignment lists which would be effective as soon as the new promised ships arrived. She also updated the pilot information so that Cassy Algara in charge of the personnel file has an updated copy.

There were now 11 squadrons: the Black, Red, Coalstreak and Stiletto squadrons in X-wing; the Green and Farrell squadrons in A-wing, the Crimson squadron in B-wing and the Blue, Dross, Cobalt and Dagger squadrons in mixed.

Without Poe or Wrobie needing to tell her, she signed up some of the new pilots for a level assessment with Elna Zibsara, the veteran pilot.

She looked up, smiling:

Kaydel entered the names in the lists then looked up, smiling:

"It's good, we're done."

"Finally!" Ransolm rubbed his eyes. "I think I fell asleep while you were talking."

Everyone got up determined to go to bed. But Maz came forward followed by C-3PO.

"Before you disperse I have several to give to several of you. Leia made me promise to give them to you when the time comes. She felt that her strength was gradually declining, she never really recovering from the explosion of the bridge. She therefore prepared for her departure by leaving you a few things. "

Maz approached Rose:

"To Rose Tico, I realized how much you love stories, all kinds of stories. So I leave you my memories that I have recorded over the years. I hope it will be for you a source of information and learning. "

C-3PO stepped forward and placed in Rose's hands what looked like a USB stick. "A very great honor, a very great responsibility, to share the reflections of such a great lady." he commented true to himself.

Rose found it difficult to contain her tears, that Leia remembered her to the point of distinguishing her in her will moved her very much. Finn felt that she was going to collapse , approached and hugged her gently.

"To Larma d'Acy, my faithful friend and ally for so many years. The Resistance would not be what it would be if you had not been there. I deeply admire your courage and your integrity even if I don't you never said it in front of you. I hope that when peace returns you will accept to be the representative of Warlentta. No one could fulfill the role better than you. And I leave you my oro-weave bracelets which come from my dear planet . They have accompanied me so far and today they are yours. I would therefore always be by your side."

Larma hugged the packet that C-3PO gave her and moved to a corner of the cave to hide her tears, wiping her eyes with her blindfold. Wrobie followed her, muttering words of comfort as he ran a hand over her back.

"To Kaydel Ko Connix, you are a courageous young girl who, although you have disappointed me in the past, had greatly regained my confidence by showing you more assiduous than ever in your commitment. I could never thank you enough for having kept you busy from me in recent weeks when my strength started to fail. I leave you your well-deserved captain's bars and my pair of aurodium earrings.

Kaydel, too moved to speak, grabbed the small package that C-3PO handed him and went to hide in a corner of the cave.

Maz approached Finn:

"To Finn, I would have liked to have had more time to get to know you but I was greatly impressed by your sense of duty, of sacrifice and your unconditional support for the cause. I therefore name you general even if I suspect that Poe will one day appoint you to this position, so here are your bars. "

Finn respectfully took the bars and tied them as best he could to his shirt.

"I would wear them proudly I promise."

"To Ransolm Casterfo, my old friend, we didn't always agree on everything, we even clashed but I know that we are on the same side. In memory of a bygone era I leave you this bottle of Port in a Storm which will surely remind you of memories. "

Ransolm took the bottle from C-3PO's hands, smiling.

"And finally Poe Dameron. Always ready to do fearless things, to jump in his cockpit to sink into the pile." Poe rolled his eyes, he felt that the rest was going to sting too, so he was very surprised.

"Intrepid _flyboy_ who doesn't know fear or chooses to ignore it, you always answered when I needed you, I had only one word to say and you were turning mountains for me aboard your X-Wing. We would all be dead long ago if you hadn't been there. You are sort of a second son to me. And I thank you very much! "

Poe did not expect to be so distinguished, he had tears in his eyes. He loved Leia deeply and by losing her he felt that he was losing his mother again. He had also lost his mentor, the one who knew him enough to slap him when needed. If he had been alone he would have been cried a big blow put there it was impossible.

So he appreciated when Maz spoke again:

"However, in order not to get your head big, I wanted to leave this to you so that you always remember your lessons."

C-3PO handed him a holocube which projected a short looping sequence: we could see Poe taking a well-deserved slap from Leia after refusing to obey orders. The streak was short but it repeated itself giving the impression that Poe was constantly slapped.

Poe felt his mood lighten suddenly and burst out laughing with the others. He was not likely to forget this lesson, not anytime soon!

C-3PO always had something in its hands: two holocubes and a small package that seemed to contain a small box.

"It is for Rey. "Maz explained." The next time you contact her, tell her that Leia has left something for her. In the meantime I will keep them "

Ransolm spoke up, "You know, I'm not going to drink this alone."

Everyone turned to him.

"For the record this bottle was opened several years ago in 28 ABY with Korr Sella, Greer Sonnel and Josph Seastriker. It was the idea of Greer, a native of Pamarthe, she wanted to challenge Josph to drink. With the death of Leia, I am the last member of this small group to be alive: Korr died in Hosnian Prime, Greer suffered from an incurable illness which worsened with stress and she nevertheless wanted to join the Resistance. And Josph--

"Died in the attack on Starkiller base. He was a good guy." Poe added.

"I thought we could all have a drink together as a tribute and in memory of all the people we lost."

"Good idea!"approved Maz. "I always wanted to test Port!"

"I must warn you that Captain Han Solo was only using it as a solvent." would like to recall C-3PO.

"So in this case I don't take it, it will take someone valid to take care of you," Beaumont suggested.

"In my state it would not be a good idea." Karé also refused.

The others were in a circle, Finn had found some glasses lying around in the corner. Ransolm poured a dose and raised his mug: "To Leia" before emptying the contents.

"To Leia" repeated everyone in chorus.

But each one added an additional name: Snap, Paige, Nien, Han and all the relatives they had lost. There were so many ...

At the beginning nothing happened and then:

Rose began to gradually spit out the liquid. Finn felt like his head was melting, he put his head against the console "It's cool, it feels good."

Poe and Wrobie who had taken more than the others to make a contest was one making big "Haa Haa" by having the impression that his throat was on fire while the other had dropped down.

"This-thing-is-not-done-to-be-drunk." he ends up articulating.

Larma was furiously eating a protein bar hoping it would alleviate the sensations.

Kaydel sat on the nearest stool, one hand on her stomach. "I feel like I'm burning from the inside out." she gasped.

"I did warn you, though." reminded C-3PO sententious.

Only Chewie and Maz fared well and looked at the others, laughing with Beaumont and Karé.

Ransolm had a crimson face and coughed endlessly.

"You know what ?" he ends up saying between two fits of cough.

"I'm sure Leia is watching us where she is and she is laughing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Aftab Ackbar](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Aftab_Ackbar)   
>  [Ajan Kloss](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Ajan_Kloss)   
>  [Ryloth Defense Authority](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Ryloth_Defense_Authority)   
>  [B-Wing](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/A/SF-01_B-wing_starfighter)   
>  [Beaumont Kin](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Beaumont_Kin)   
>  [Blue Squadron](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Blue_Squadron_\(Resistance\))   
>  [Coalstreak Squadron](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Coalstreak_Squadron)   
>  [Cobalt Squadron](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Cobalt_Squadron_\(Resistance\))   
>  [Dross Squadron](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Dross_Squadron)   
>  [Farrell Squadron](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Farrell_Squadron)   
>  [Black Squadron](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Black_Squadron_\(Resistance\))   
>  [Crimson Squadron](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Crimson_Squadron)   
>  [Red Squadron](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Red_Squadron_\(Resistance\))   
>  [Green Squadron](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Green_Squadron_\(Resistance\))   
>  [Stiletto Squadron](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Stiletto_Squadron)   
>  [Jessika Pava "Jess"](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Jessika_Pava)   
>  [Karé Kun](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Kar%C3%A9_Kun)   
>  [Kaydel Ko Connix](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Kaydel_Ko_Connix)   
>  [Larma d'Acy](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Larma_D%27Acy)   
>  [Maz](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Maz_Kanata)   
>  [Port in a Storm](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Port_in_a_Storm)   
>  [Senator Ransolm Casterfo](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Ransolm_Casterfo)   
>  [Senator Carise Sindian](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Carise_Sindian)   
>  [Senator Erudo Ro-Kiintor](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Erudo_Ro-Kiintor)   
>  [Snap](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Temmin_Wexley)   
>  [Norra](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Norra_Wexley)   
>  [Wedge](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Wedge_Antilles)   
>  [Suralinda Javos](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Suralinda_Javos)   
>  [Tantive](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Tantive_IV)   
>  [Wrobie](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Wrobie_Tyce)   
>  [Ambassador Yendor](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Yendor)   
>  [StarFortress](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/MG-100_StarFortress_SF-17)   
>  [Nifera Shu](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Nifera_Shu)   
>  [The Collective](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Collective)   
>  [Ryloth](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Ryloth)   
>  [Orinda](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Orinda)   
>  [Kuat](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Kuat)   
>  [Hevurion](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Hevurion)   
>  [Arkanis](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Arkanis)


	6. Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was at this precise moment that he realized that his feelings were shared, she loved him too. An unexpected smile was born on his lips, he felt his heart take off and hurt him in his chest. He couldn't take his eyes off her face, he wanted to memorize every detail: her tiny freckles, her long eyelashes, the color of his eyes, her lips so pink ...
> 
> He had felt her hesitation in their connection and then suddenly he had felt her resolution when she had put her lips on his.
> 
> He hugged her tenderly, he couldn't believe this sudden happiness. Rey loved him, he felt it through the bond, never in his wildest dreams he would have imagined that it could be possible. He felt their bond in the Force sing and become indestructible. His heart exploded in his chest.
> 
> He was finally appeased for the first time in his life.  
> He wanted Rey never to stop stroking his hair
> 
> Just the two of us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY ! Finally I write about my favorite character !!!! Before tackling it I wanted to fix the situation, now that it's done, let's go !!!!!
> 
> ⚠ QUESTION ⚠: I would like to introduce a romance about Finn, Poe, Rose in the future, but I'm still not decided. What would you prefer: between Finn and Poe or between Finn and Rose?
> 
> While I was writing this chapter I had this song in my head, I find that it corresponds rather well to the character: Hello Darkness by Simon & Garfunkel, a song from 1966 but which I find very modern.
> 
> "Hello darkness, my old friend
> 
> I've come to talk with you again  
> Because a vision softly creeping  
> Left its seeds while I was sleeping  
> And the vision that was planted in my brain  
> Still remains  
> Within the sound of silence  
> In restless dreams I walked alone"

The void...

The darkness...

A heartbeat ...

The darkness...

A voice...

Two heartbeats, then three ...

An eyelid that lifts and falls back ...

A voice that calls ...

"Well stand up, wake up!"

A trembling hand rises and falls ...

The void...

The darkness...

How long has he been here? He could not say. He woke up feeling like he had slept for whole days. Silence around him. The void. Everything was black but of a luminous black as lit by the stars. He didn't know where he was. All he knew was that he woke up here alone.

"There is someone ?"

His voice echoed around him.

"Where am I ?"

He heard only the echo that sent his voice back to him, but nothing else. Yet he felt like he had heard someone while he slept ...

He looked around, he seemed lost in space among the stars. He stood up, he seemed to be on a sort of long corridor stretching as far as the eye could see. Many white lines ran through the space, forming harmonious curves.

He turned on his own, saw in the distance a geometric pattern that stood out from the lines. He wanted to approach but hesitated: and if he took a step and fell into darkness ? He didn't have the impression that the corridor was real.

Finally he took a deep breath and took a step. Nothing happened. He did another, expecting to plunge into darkness at all times. But nothing. So he continued to move towards the form. He noticed that with each step he took, a kind of white shock wave appeared around his feet, like a drop of water falling in a puddle and creating wrinkles on the surface of the liquid.

He then realized that he no longer felt his injuries: his leg and his broken spine no longer hurt him, he walked without electric shocks of pain being felt throughout his body.

So was that death?

Did being one with the Force mean being stuck in this universe without feeling the pain anymore?

He had no answers to his questions.

He had often tried to imagine what could be after death. When he was little, Lando Calrissian told him about his dear Cloud City. He had enthusiastically described to him how he loved watching evening fall and the sun setting behind the clouds, illuminating the space with orange and pink colors. Lando also implied that Leia also adored this show, to which Han had responded with a light punch in the shoulder and Leia with a falsely indignant grimace.

Ben saw it with his own eyes when his father took him there. He had been amazed and had spent long moments in front of a bay window watching the color changes. It was one of the few times he hadn't had a nightmare. After that he imagined that death looked like this paradise.

When he started his Jedi training with his uncle, his image of death had changed: he imagined that death would be like being part of the wind, nowhere and everywhere at the same time. He had learned not to fear it, it was a natural process and what is more a Jedi knight died in combat was considered as the noblest death there is.

Under Snoke's training, he mocked death, taking pleasure in thinking that he could control it but the truth was that he feared it: he saw it as a dark, frightening place, source of an eternal torment .

The place where he was now was unlike any of his imaginations.

He continued to advance and arrived at the level of the motif which intrigued him. He examined it carefully: a large triangle with a circle in the center. All around were inscribed esoteric symbols which he could not understand. They were not part of any language he knew.

What was this strange element? It looked like a door. He could touch it except that he couldn't get through, when he tried his arm went through and stirred up the void.

He looked around and saw that other doors were scattered all over the white lines. They were of different shapes, however.

He didn' know what to do. He continued walking aimlessly along the corridors.

For how long he knew nothing about it. He felt like he was walking aimlessly without feeling the time running out.

How long had he been there? He couldn't tell ... Hours? Days?

For the first time in his life he had no goal to pursue, no goals to achieve. He savored this moment: finally alone, finally appeased, finally calm in his head.

For the first time in his life he felt good.

Not for the first time, frankly, for the second time in his life...

The first had been when Rey had put her lips on hers. He felt his heart burn when he thought about it, this memory was a flame in his heart, it warmed and soothed him. He remembered every second. He had felt the Force gradually leaving his body, he had then memorized every detail. His smile, his hazel eyes that shone when he looked at him, his hair so soft ... His hair ... _Force_ he adored his hair and his adorable little buns. He couldn't help but touch them when he hugged her.

How far away it all seemed to him now.

Thinking back to when he found him lifeless and lifeless broke him: he felt her die through the Force while he was giving up trying to come up from the abyss.

When he felt her go, he had the impression that someone stabbed him in the heart, he had uttered a long groan of agony as if a part of him had just died too.

It wasn't possible, she couldn't be dead.

He had then decided to resume his ascent as best he could: his injuries, the cold and slippery rock, his strength which he lacked more and more, everything was against him at this precise moment. But despite everything he continued, he didn't want to leave her alone it wasn't possible.

He had drawn deep inside and had continued to climb despite the pain that blinded him, he clenched his teeth so hard that he heard them grinding painfully. He had released the pressure in his jaw only to bite his tongue. He had felt the iron taste of blood but he couldn't care less. He had to get to her as quickly as possible.

Even lost in the middle of space as he was now he still felt his pain and that prevented him from advancing in the corridors.

He closed his eyes, letting his memories pass before him.

He dragged himself to her as best he could with his broken leg.

Seeing her dead was worse than anything he had imagined: she left with open eyes, looking at the vastness without seeing her. Her empty eyes haunted him.

He had checked that she was really dead, it all seemed like a nightmare. But her pulse was no longer beating ...

He had then tried somehow to take her in his arms, trying not to lean on his broken leg. She was very limp, her lifeless arms falling back and forth and her head tossed back, her eyes staring at the void. _Force_ her eyes ... Unable to bear to continue seeing them he had looked around, desperately hoping that someone could help him, tell him that Rey could be brought back, that everything would be fine. But no, he was alone as always.

Alone holding Rey in his arms.

"Can you hear me? Hold on"

He then hugged her, trying not to break into tears. He had felt his heart break even more than he already was when he thought of all the missed opportunities.

A sudden calm had seized him, hope had started to shine without his chest : if Rey had been able to cure his deadly lung injury, maybe he could revive it.

It was crazy but at the point where he was, he was ready for anything. He stepped back and placed a hand on Rey's stomach. He had closed his eyes and tried to empty himself, to stop thinking about his wounds which were hurting him more and more, to become one with the Force and to redirect it from his body to that of Rey. He was trying to remember Luke's lessons: identify the injury, think only of it and circulate the Force to the wound, visualize the healing. He had spread the Force to Rey's heart, hoping, praying that it would work. He was breathing deeply, feeling his broken ribs hurt him with each breath, like Rey had done on him.

_Please come back, I beg you._

After a moment that seemed to him forever, he felt movement and a small bloody hand landed on his. He had opened his eyes. Rey looked at him in disbelief with her big hazel eyes.

He too was staring at her, incredulous. He couldn't believe he had succeeded, he had never heard that it could be possible.

He would have liked to have had more time, he would have liked to open his heart to her.

He looked at her magnificent face, wishing only one thing: to kiss her. But changed his mind, biting his lower lip, he didn't want to rush her.

If only he could tell her how he felt about her. But talking about his emotions, what he felt for her, had been impossible for him. All his life he had learned to put his emotions aside, control them and dominate them. The teaching of the Jedi and then of Snoke had taught him to be wary of his torments: they could be a source of power but also a weak point.

But Ben knew deep inside that it wasn't the reason that had prevented him from admitting his feelings for Rey aloud: it was the fear of being rejected again. He had really been an asshole towards her, he wanted her to join him so much that he had used all means: he had entered her head, had forced her to review particularly painful memories that she would rather have forgotten. She had suffered from it. So he hadn't dared to tell her how he felt out loud, there was a good chance she would hate him for all the harm he had done to her and the others.

So he had expressed everything by their mental link, it may have been cowardly but at this precise moment when he knew he had very little time left he didn't care. It was like a torrent of emotion surging.

_Rey I couldn't let you go ... I couldn't you understand? You are most precious, I would have died if I hadn't managed to bring you back. I love you Rey, can you hear me? I have always loved you, I know that I have behaved badly in the past but I love you! I LOVE YOU !_

He had finally said it. He continued to stare at her, awaiting her response, awaiting the verdict.

She looked him in the eye, a smile sprang up on her lips as these words reached her through the connection.

"Ben." Rey smiled at him completely, a smile he had dreamed of seeing. She began to stroke his cheek and hair gently. He refrained from moaning at the touch of his hand on his cheek.

It was at this precise moment that he realized that his feelings were shared, she loved him too. An unexpected smile was born on his lips, he felt his heart take off and hurt him in his chest. He couldn't take his eyes off her face, he wanted to memorize every detail: her tiny freckles, her long eyelashes, the color of his eyes, her lips so pink ...

He had felt her hesitation in their connection and then suddenly he had felt her resolution when she had put her lips on his.

He hugged her tenderly, he couldn't believe this sudden happiness. Rey loved him, he felt it through the bond, never in his wildest dreams he would have imagined that it could be possible. He felt their bond in the Force sing and become indestructible. His heart exploded in his chest. She had the sweetest lips there was.

 _Rey, Rey, Rey_ he sang in his head, hoping that this blessed moment would never end. He wanted Rey never to stop stroking his hair, her hands were so soft, he loved this contact, the first female contact he had since his childhood.

He was finally appeased for the first time in his life. He felt Rey savor this moment as much as he did. They were both lonely beings who had never loved in their whole life and they had finally found their halves.

_Just the two of us_

They eventually detach from each other, resuming their breaths, their breaths mixing. Their noses touched. Rey was still smiling at him, he felt his own lips stretch in a real smile, the first he had had since ... he couldn't even remember the last time he had really smiled.

He felt that his strength was giving him up, it was time. He had to say goodbye to her. He had understood from the moment he came back from the pit that he had no more time, he had held out until then but it was over, he felt it.

_Rey, my love, sweetheart ... thanks for everything. I love you, I will always love you._

He felt Rey's perplexity through the link, she didn't understand, he had masked her agony so well that she hadn't realized. He had felt himself go. He was happy, he was with Rey, he was still clutching his little hand in his.

She would be fine, he was trying to convince herself of it, she was not alone, her friends would watch over her. He would have done at least one good deed in his life, he left with a light heart.

He had felt like he was sleeping, he was floating in the dark.

At one point he thought he heard voices

"Stand up Ben, go wake up!

He had tried to open his eyes and move but he felt numb, caught in a torpor. These voices ... they seemed familiar ...

Darkness had engulfed him again.

And then he woke up in this strange place.

Alone.

And here he was.

He sighed, at least he had had one last moment of joy in his life.

He wondered what Rey would have thought of this place. She would no doubt have been amazed, she would have had stars in her eyes. She couldn't help but run right and left, asking dozens of questions. He would have watched her swirl around him, dazzled.

He felt a twinge in his heart. Was he still that selfish that he wanted Rey to be with him in this place which meant that she too was dead. No he didn't want that, even if it meant that he would never see Rey again, he was glad she was alive.

If he had to spend the rest of the time locked up in this place, he wanted to spend it cherishing every memory he had with Rey even the painful moments, he didn't want to waste his time thinking about what it would have been if he had returned earlier.

Too late ...

Just thinking about it hurt.

 _Dumbass !_ he thought bitterly. Rey reached out to me so many times and I didn't take it.

He forced himself to calm down and think of something else, if one thing he wanted to keep from his old life would be his mantra: "Let the pass die!". It was no longer useful now to wonder what would have happened if he had done things differently, it would only bring him eternal regrets and he was already fed up.

An image appeared in his mind: Rey surrounded by her friends, laughing, free of all worries. At first he liked to imagine Rey relaxed but a new feeling took over. A feeling he had never known before and that he didn't know how to control: jealousy. He felt a dull rage rise inside him, making him clench his fists. Rey someday might end up falling in love with someone else. Maybe this former deserter FN-2187, what was his name now?

Ah yes: _Finn_ ...

He remembered how Rey had protected him on the death star ...

Or even worse, if she fell in love with this _Dameron_.

An ace like him with a head like his must have had a crowd of admirers. Just thinking about it, his vision was blurred with rage.

He tried to regain control, he had left his dark side behind him, he should not dive back, even if the temptation was great to fall back into his old ways ... At this precise moment he would have let off steam with his saber on everything he could have found. At least Kylo Ren would have done it. But he was Ben Solo again and had to keep the peace in his head. She had missed him too much.

So he tried not to think about what Rey could do right now. He focused on the other memories he had of her.

It was then that he thought he heard a voice calling him ...

დდდდდდ

_Tatooine_

Sitting cross-legged under her pergola, Rey meditated.

She floated a few centimeters from the ground. Around her gravitated several objects: her lightsaber, her comlink, her old fighting stick and BB-8.

Who didn't seem very reassured and emitted worried little beeps.

Rey opened an eye

"All is well, I'm not going to let go of you all at once."

BB-8 continued to protest a bit but eventually calmed down.

Rey will refocus. She would focus on Ben's signal in the Force as she had been advised to do Leia and Luke. Where there had been his fiery signature, she only felt emptiness once again.

Despite everything, she decided to trust her Jedi masters and tried to bond with Ben.

"Ben... be with me."

"Ben"

"Ben"

"Please be with me"

She thought she felt a weak presence in the Force. A barely perceptible signal, it was so weak.

She opened her eyes in shock which caused her devolution, the signal she had perceived vanished instantly. The objects that levitated around her fell suddenly.

_BANG !_

BB-8 hit the ground hard and started beeping. Rey wasn't listening, too busy trying to figure out what was going on. She had felt Ben's presence through the Force, it was tiny but she was convinced of it. Maybe if she kept calling him she might be able to make him appear in front of her like Luke and Leia had told her.

A series of more insistent beeps than the previous ones made her look up.

"Sorry BB-8. Sorry for your antennas." Rey began to untwist the two small antennae of the droid.

"I'm almost there, you know. I felt it in the Force for the first time since Exegol."

BB-8 emitted a series of interrogative beeps.

Rey laughed softly:

"It's true, you don't know who I'm talking about. Do you want me to tell you Ben's story? Would you like it?"

BB-8 beeped enthusiastically spinning his body at full speed.

"Well then I warn you I don't know all the details, it all started thirty years ago ..."

დდდდდდ

_World between worlds_

It was Rey's voice, he would have bet his lightsaber on it. She called him.

_Ben_

_Ben_

He heard the echo repeat.

Desperate, he started running along the walkways, looking everywhere.

"Rey where are you?"

_Please be with me._

"I'm trying! But I can't see you!"

The voice faded and disappeared.

He stopped running and screamed in frustration.

It was her, he was sure!

How was it that he heard her?

He started to panic: what if she had died since then? It wan't possible, no ! It couldn't be that ! He felt like he was dying a second time, he wanted Rey to have a long and beautiful life, more beautiful than what he could ever have offered her.

No, she couldn't be dead, there had to be another explanation.

Maybe he was going crazy? He sneered bitterly as he ran a hand over his face. For most people, being sensitive to Force was a sign of witchcraft or madness. Perhaps by dint of sinking into the dark side taking physical and mental tortures he had ended up being disturbed to such an extent that he heard the voice of the woman he loves.

He continued walking, a part of him hoping to come across Rey at the corner. but nothing: lines, walkways, more doors.

დდდდდდ

_Tatooine_

"You have to keep this for yourself please BB-8. Promise me!"

BB-8 emitted a series of beeps and undecided loops.

"No, not even to Poe! Especially not to Poe!"

BB-8 starts some interrogative beeps.

"Of course we are friends! But nobody knows, I don't know how I'm going to tell them, it's tricky."

BB-8 beeped thoughtfully, he understood in his own way.

Rey returned to the meditation position.

"I'm going to try again for tonight and then we'll go harvest what is in the vegetable garden, okay?"

BB-8 beeped affirmatively and hurriedly rolled, beeping comically towards the kitchen so that Rey couldn't lift him from the ground.

Rey watched him go and smiled tenderly, she adored this droid, he was a kind of miniature best friend.

She began to empty her head, breathing deeply. She let the Force surround her and invade her. She looked for Ben's signature in the Force, she no longer felt the weak signal she had previously felt but she felt a residual trace. She concentrated, trying to find the balance in the Force between light and darkness. Her breathing deepened as she became one with the Force.

"Ben?"

"I know you are somewhere, answer me ... please"

"I miss you so much"

She felt the signal coming back, it was stronger, she could almost grasp it.

"Well, come back!"

"I need you !"

"Ben!"

"PLEASE !"

It was then that she felt: despair, frustration, pain.

She opened her eyes: what did that mean? She felt Ben's signature through the Force, she was fragile but stronger than before. But why did she feel these emotions around him?

Pensive, she let herself go back down to the ground. She still hadn't managed to get him to appear in front of her, but it was only a matter of time: after two attempts she had managed to resurface his signal in the Force. With a few other attempts, he should be able to appear.

Satisfied although intrigued, she returned to the kitchen. She found BB-8 busy checking the water purification system.

"Ready for picking?"

BB-8 drove immediately with enthusiasm.

დდდდდდ

_World between worlds_

He had just gone through a series of intersections when he still felt it.

Rey ...

Her voice echoed around him, even louder than before.

_Ben?_

_I know you are somewhere, answer me ... please_

"WHERE ARE YOU ????" he yelled in frustration

_I miss you so much_

The pain in his heart reactivated: in dying he had tried to persuade himself that Rey would be fine, surrounded by her friends, her new family. The knowledge that his death caused her emotional distress made him sink.

_Come back!_

_I need you !_

At this point he would have preferred to be hit in the face or in the crotch, it would hurt him less than feeling Rey's distress.

_Ben!_

_PLEASE !_

He fell on his knees, plugging his ears, he was going mad, that was the only explanation. The Force decided to drive him mad to punish him.

 _Make it stop !_ he begged in his head.

A voice was heard behind him, making him jump:

"Crazy we are all."

He got up and turned suddenly.

His jaw dropped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [World between worlds](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/World_between_worlds)
> 
> [Episode World between worlds](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/A_World_Between_Worlds)


	7. A lesson of Force

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Follow Ben's journey to exit the World between Worlds. 
> 
> He won't be alone anymore because "A thousand generations live in you and in Rey now ! Look at the stars in the sky, they are the only limits to your actions. Make sure you reach the stars ! Shake them !" 🔥💥✨

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there’s one thing I’ve missed in TROS it's seeing the ghosts of the Jedi, we heard their voices but they were mixed and it was really necessary to have the previous films in the ear to recognize them especially those that we have not seen in the films but in the series ... I start from the principle that because that Ben and Rey are a dyad if Rey hears the voices of the Jedi, Ben at the bottom of the abyss hears them too. I would have liked the Jedi to also move for Ben: where were they when Ben sank in the dark side ???  
> In short, I wanted to write this scene from the start. I just didn't know where or when.
> 
>   
> I found music that fits well at the time of Ben's despair and that ends with regained courage : Sound the bugle (Spirit-Bryan Adams)  
> [...]  
> Now I can't go on  
> I can't even start  
> I got nothing left  
> Just an empty heart
> 
> I'm a soldier wounded  
> So I must give up the fight  
> There's nothing more for me  
> Lead me away  
> Or leave me lying here
> 
> [...]  
> Then from on high  
> Somewhere in the distance  
> There's a voice that calls  
> Remember who you are
> 
> If you lose yourself  
> Your courage soon will follow  
> So be strong tonight  
> Remember who you are
> 
> Yeah  
> You're a soldier now  
> Fighting in a battle  
> To be free once more  
> Yeah, that's worth fighting for
> 
> ⚠There will be notes at the end of the pages now, I'll put my sources of information I saw that several did, I think that's great ⚠

Master Yoda leaning on his cane looked at the young Solo. Restless he was. Impatient, instinctive, fiery. Like his grandfather. He felt the emotions boil inside the young man who looked at him completely bewildered. There was so much torment in him, so many shadows that could plunge him back into the dark side. Hence the fact that they are intervening now.

"Well young Solo?" The wise old man looked at Ben maliciously, his eyes narrowed with amusement and his pointed ears erect high on his head.

"Master-- _Yoda_ ?" Ben had only seen Master Yoda a few times through holograms that had survived the Empire's purge of the Jedi and that Luke had recovered from numerous sandstone journeys across the galaxy. He had had no trouble remembering his name however, although the history lessons at the temple seemed so far now, having been a particularly good student he remembered much of Luke's teachings.

He thus knew that the great dead Jedi could learn to materialize in front of other Jedi when they felt the need to give them advice. Luke had told him that from time to time, in his deepest moments of doubt, Obi-Wan Kenobi appeared to him and helped him. Ben had ironically wondered a few times when he was Kylo Ren if Master Kenobi had appeared before Luke before he went to try to kill him. Obviously not or his advice had not had the desired effect.

He had recognized the old sage perfectly, his hesitation was more because he was the last person he expected to find here.

"Intrigued you are."

Before Ben could answer, another voice was heard, a voice he knew well and had hoped not to hear again. A voice he had dreaded hearing for more than a year, remembering a final threat " _see you around kid_ ":

"Don't worry, we'll answer your questions."

 _Luke_.

Ben instinctively clenched his fists along his sides and then released them. The peace. He really had to make peace with himself. _Let the past die_ , he repeated himself again. He was a new man now, he had returned to the light, he had to relearn to forgive as he had been taught in the past. He really had to regain his calm for the eternity life that awaited him.

However, he found it hard to look his uncle in the eyes without getting upset. Even if he tried to think of something else, the adventures they had shared, the hours spent studying the way of the Jedi, he thought only of that famous night when in a fraction of a second he had seen about to shoot his saber over him. Or he was thinking of their last confrontation. The feeling of humiliation and depreciation that had never really left him resurfaced in his chest. That he had been so ridiculous that day ... So blinded by hatred that he had not realized that what he had in front of him was not his uncle but a projection through the Force. Bitter humiliation in front of his troops and in front of the galaxy since the rumor wasn't long in running that he had been beaten by a powerful Jedi ... The sly smile of Hux kept coming back to his mind ...

_Don't think about it anymore, it's behind you now ... Inspire, exhale ..._

He had felt Luke's death, albeit in a minimal way, and secretly he had felt relieved. Part of his past was dead with his uncle forever. A part he had hoped to never see again at the time. Except that his uncle was there before his eyes and that he looked at him with a half smile through his beard. He tried to relegate all of his feelings - anger, shame, self-loathing - to the back of his mind. _Inhale Exhale._

"Master Skywalker" his voice was cold as ice but still calm and calm. He controlled himself, but for how long?

"Master? I think we can drop the formalities between us, don't you think? It is high time that we become a family again."

Ben couldn't help but clench his fists again.

"It's a bit late for that." couldn't he help but answer, his voice snapping bitterly. Anger had returned when he had sworn to make peace. _Inhale Exhale._

"Ben..." A soft voice rose behind him.

Oh no ... that voice ...

From the moment he heard and saw his uncle, a feeling of fear had taken hold of him. If his uncle was there, another person could probably appear ... A person whose piercing gaze he didn't have the courage to meet.

His shoulders trembled, his fists clenched. He swallowed hard, biting his lower lip, he felt like he was going to vomit.

He turned suddenly and faced Leia Organa.

It was the first time they had seen each other face to face a few feet apart in years. No hyperspace between them, no armored windows. Just them. He found it hard to look his mother in the eye. He was afraid of what he could find there: probably anger and disappointment. He knew she would have preferred to have another son, he suspected. And he didn't blame her anymore for that. But he was afraid to meet his gaze and read the confirmation of his obsessions. Part of him still hoped his mother would still have affection for him. Despite everything he had done to deny his identity, he was still this little boy seeking affection and approval from his parents.

Leia was looking at her son. Her son ... It was strange to say. He was even more impressive than on the holograms. So tall ... It was the first time she saw him as an adult and after all her years she wanted to take him in her arms and hug him tightly and run her hands through her dark hair. But she didn't dare: she felt the conflict within him, a mixture of resentment, more or less contained anger, pain, hope and sadness.

He looked up at her and their eyes met.

His mother had aged but that he already knew, it was just a shock to see it for himself. Her hair was tied in a thick braid that went around her head. She wore a long white tunic so the hood came to rest on her hair. Dark brown-red hair became lighter with age. He recognized Alderaan's hair style that his mother sometimes wore nostalgically. Over the years, wrinkles had grown on her forehead, around her mouth and her eyes. He couldn't help but think that some of them must have been caused by him.What he saw in her eyes wasn't what he expected: instead of anger he saw his mother's eternal and flawless determination, instead of disappointment he saw what he interpreted as joy. He gasped in surprise: his mother was happy to see him.

He tried to probe the Force to find out what she was thinking. But as before with Rey he felt nothing. He seemed cut off from the Force. He decided to leave this problem aside for now, he would solve it later with the rest of his questions.

All that mattered for the moment was his mother and his kind look. She gestured to open her arms, almost begging him with her eyes.

He hesitated for a short moment, biting his lips, swallowing hard. And then he dropped into his mother's arms. He was vaguely preparing to fall to the ground, thinking that the image of his mother was immaterial but his arms closed around him.

He heard a strange noise, a kind of complaint from an injured animal. It took him several seconds to realize that the noise was that of his own sobs. He hadn't even realized he was crying. Her mother stroked her hair in long, regular movements.

He felt like he was going back in time, to be back in his room, the night after one of his umpteenth nightmares. Voices whispering in his head, endless screeching screams that woke him with a start. He then took refuge in his parents' room, crying and the latter tried to reassure him and comfort him as best they could. Han took him against him and told him about their adventures or Leia sang him a lullaby from Alderaan. He couldn't remember the words anymore, just that she was talking about a moon. He especially remembered how his mother comforted him, stroking his hair and back in long, regular, soothing movements.

As she did now.

His sobs spaced out and eventually stopped. He straightened embarrassed to have cracked and what is more in front of his uncle and master Yoda. He released himself gently from the embrace of his mother, a little embarrassed, not quite sure how to behave.

Leia looked at him with bright eyes, if she too could have started to cry. She just stroked her son's cheek.

He jumped when his hand landed and then after a brief moment of hesitation he put his hand on hers.

"Mum ... I - I am - so - _so_ -"

The words were struggling to come out, he no longer knew how to express himself.

Leia came to her rescue:

"I know. I'm the one who's sorry."

He inhaled loudly; he didn't expect an apology. He didn't know how to react, he just nodded and dropped his hand. He moved away a little from his mother, still with a left and borrowed air, not knowing what countenance to give himself.

A throat scratching broke the magic of the moment.

Luke looked at them: "I'm sorry too Ben, I dropped you. I apologize again."

Ben clenched his jaws, a movement that didn't escape Luke who raised his hands in the air in sign of appeasement.

"Maybe one day you will be able to forgive us and above all you will make peace with yourself."

Ben was going to answer that it would be difficult but a wise voice interrupted him:

"Time takes time."

The man who had spoken stepped forward. He was dressed in a tunic which, unlike Luke, suggested a brown cloth and he wore a brown cape. The man looked old and had a thin beard.

He greeted Master Yoda with deference who returned his salute then came to stand next to Luke with whom he exchanged a knowing smile. Leia squeezed her arm, her emotional gaze going from Ben to the unknown.

The stranger saw Ben's questioning look and stepped forward, presenting his right hand to him:

"Obi-Wan Kenobi."

 _Obi-Wan Kenobi_. So it was he, the great Jedi whose nickname he had inherited as a name in homage. One more burden ...

Ben shook his hand quickly. He was becoming more and more uncomfortable with this family reunion which was turning more and more to a Jedi meeting.

"There ... Are there others?" asked he. "I mean ... are there any other Jedi ghosts with you?"

A dynamic voice was heard behind him:

"Just ask!"

A group of four individuals approached: three men, a woman whom Ben recognized as being a Togruta. The men wore the same outfits as Luke, Obi-Wan and Yoda; the woman, on the other hand, stood out: she was wearing knee-high boots, pants and a tunic that looked like leather. The tunic was sleeveless and its forearms were covered with large leather combat cuffs. She wore a belt which ended with a large diamond-shaped tongue decorated with floral patterns.

The dark-skinned man approached in order to introduce himself. He looked more severe than the others.

"Master Mace Windu"

Ben replied with a nod.

The second man approached, he had a beard and long hair.

"Master Qui-Gon Jinn. And this is Ahso--"

"Snips." interrupted the youngest with a sly smile. He gave off an aura of certainty, power and nonchalance. Ben understood that it was he who had arrested him a little earlier.

The Togruta turned to him, indignant:"Shut up Skyguy!"

Then she turned to Ben, smiling at him: "Sorry, he's often like that, I'm Ahsoka Tano. And he is--"

"Anakin Skywalker" completed Ben.

As soon as he heard "Skyguy" he understood. Ben couldn't take his eyes off the young man. So it was him. His grandfather. The one whose voice he thought he heard all his life. The one he begged to answer him during his meditation sessions. He never would have imagined him that way. It was probably stupid but every time he thought of him, he saw only an aging Darth Vader and not the young Jedi man who had been before.

Young man whose casualness seemed to exasperate more than one in the group: Master Windu and Leia refrained from looking up at the sky. With a contrite smile, Anakin winked at him and pretended to lock his mouth and throw it over his shoulder.

"Father please. We don't have that much time," Luke scolded gently.

Ben quivered instantly: it was quite surprising to hear an old man call a young "father". Unlike the others he behaved towards Anakin with sympathy which turned almost to devotion realized Ben. Luke loved his father tenderly, he realized.

He looked at his mother from the corner of his eye: Leia had a smile more than tense. She had never told him about her father as Darth Vader before being forced to do so after a rival senator revealed his relatives in the Galactic Senate, for her her real father was Bail Organa. So being confronted with him again should not be a piece of cake. He met his mother's gaze, she smiled quickly to reassure him. He then understood that his mother was taking it upon himself for him: she didn't want to interact with Anakin more than necessary but for him she did.

Ben felt his heart swell and split at the same time when he realized how much his mother cared for him.

Leia, used to the worst political traps, knew how to take it on when needed. And it was definitely one of those moments. When Luke decided to help Ben and try to figure out why he wasn't back, Luke said they weren't just the two of them. He hadn't added anything more, but Leia had assumed he was talking about Master Yoda and Obi-Wan. She did not expect to see Master Windu and Jinn whom she only knew from the stories that her father had taught her and which dated back to the time of the Clone Wars. Even less did she expect to see Ahsoka and her father. She barely remembered her, she had crossed paths with her when she was a very young girl at the very beginning of the rebellion created by her father.

As for her father ... She respected the fact that Luke spoke of him with enthusiasm and that he spoke of him with delight, pointing out the fact that there had always been a part of light in himself as Vader. Leia respected this and understood that he dissociated the two people, after all her son was similarly in the same situation but despite everything she couldn't have the same enthusiasm as him about their father. For her Vader was the one who had tortured her relentlessly and without mercy for hours to try to find out what she had done with the plans of the black star and to find out where the rebellion was hidden. He had been completely insensitive to the screams of pain from the young woman she was then. She remembered his heavy, firm hand that had held him in place to witness the destruction of his dear Alderaan. The relentless and cruel grip that forced him to look at Han's freezing in carbonite.

No, despite all her efforts, she could only appear reserved towards Anakin even if she recognized him to have a certain charm: he presented well and had wit; she saw what her mother might have liked about him.

She felt the look of her son on her, he was trying to analyze the situation and seemed puzzled. Even if she had been told that one day she would be where she was surrounded by these people would have thought a joke. But if life had taught him one thing, it is that the Force operates in a mysterious way.

Master Windu must have considered that the presentations had lasted long enough because he advanced towards Ben:

"I feel you're puzzled, Ben. Do you want to walk with us?" he suggested.

"We will answer your questions if you have any." chained master Jinn

The group began to walk along the walkways. Ben noticed that he wasn't the only one to carefully examine the surroundings: the masters seemed very intrigued by this place. At times one of them uttered an exclamation and examined a portal with precision. Only Ahsoka seemed to be more comfortable and familiar with their environment or at least she hid her emotions better. She walked on the fringes of the group, not mixing with the others. Ben found himself contemplating her. She intrigued him. She seemed to know the Jedi masters but didn't interact with them. He surprised one of them several times trying to start a conversation with her but she systematically turned her head.

"Where are we ?" ends up asking Ben.

"In what I have called the world between worlds" replied Ahsoka. "At the temple we were taught that theoretically it was a place within the Force that consists of a collection of portals that connect time and space, so that everything is connected together. It was more of a legend than anything else. It's kind of a parallel world. But nobody here has ever ventured there ... except me. "

"Do all the dead Jedi end up here?"

Ahsoka opened his mouth to answer but master Yoda was quicker:

"No. Exception to the rule you are."

"What do you mean? I am not dead?" Ben understood less and less.

"Let's say you're half dead." tried to explain Luke with a conspiratorial smile. Smile shared by his sister elsewhere. Ben felt his stomach drop suddenly: what had these two been up to? He had spent most of his life being tossed between his parents, his uncle and then Snoke and even in death he continued to be manipulated like a pawn he noted bitterly.

"I felt my death coming Ben." hastened to explain Leia to calm her son. "I was prepared for it and after my death the Force didn't leave my body immediately. I waited to know if you would survive, if the vision that I had on your death when I was pregnant was true ; I had hoped that we would never get there, I had hoped that my actions would be enough to protect you. I think we can talk about a fiasco on this point. "

Leia smiles weakly trying to make a dash of humor. Seeing that it didn't have the expected effect on her son, she continued:

"I felt you go and at that moment, the Force left my body and transferred to yours. A transfer of vital essence to put it simply."

Ben tried in vain to grasp the meaning of what his mother was saying to him, he had the impression that his brain was idling. It didn't make any sense! And yet ...

"I have never heard of such a phenomenon ..." he began hesitantly

The others agreed, they scrutinized Leia intensely awaiting answers.

"I wasn't sure either that it could be possible. I said to myself that if we could transfer a part of our force to someone to heal him we could perhaps make sure that he stays alive. " tried to explain Leia to the group.

"A long time ago I would have been more than skeptical and the first to say that this is not how the Force works but after seeing what this boy was able to bring Rey and who had never been done before I'm more willing to believe it. " conceded Master Windu.

Master Yoda agreed : "Eternal learning every day brings us."

"But if Leia transferred her Force to me, why am I here? Why didn't I wake up on Exegol?" asked Ben. He had almost added "with Rey" but he had abstained out of modesty.

He noticed immediately that no one was fooled, from Mace Windu who was shaking his head to the ground with an air of reprimand to Obi-Wan and Anakin who shared a knowing smile and seemed to sneer. To his dismay his mother looked at him with a smirk, pursing his lips as if she were laughing. He was grateful to them for not raising the subject out loud.

"That's what I imagined, I thought the transfer would allow you to stay where you were no matter where." she replied, trying to regain her seriousness. "But I don't know why you ended up here. Actually I expected you to appear with us in front of Rey but she told us that she had never seen you. That's when we understood that something was wrong. That's why we're here to try to understand and find a solution."

 _Rey! They had talked to Rey!_ Ben didn't listen to anything anymore when he heard his name. He bit his tongue to hold back the flood of questions he had: how was she, where she was, what she was doing ...

The tension must have been on her face because Luke soothed him: "She is fine, tired but it's okay. She is also sad that you are not by her side."

Ben felt his cheeks and the tips of his ears blush in spite of himself: "I know." he replied quickly. "I heard her calling me but I don't see her, I only hear her voice echoing."

"It's normal." Ahsoka reassured him. "It was the same for Ezra and me when we were here. We heard voices from the Jedi of the past and the future. But we couldn't see those who were speaking."

"Ezra?"

"It would take too long to explain." Ahsoka cut off

"So the fact that I can't see it is normal? It has nothing to do with the fact that I can no longer feel anyone through the Force."

Ahsoka frowned: "What do you mean by not feeling anymore?" The other masters were just as puzzled.

He sighed, trying not to show his annoyance: "I mean that when I try to probe someone's mind or feel their emotions I can't do it anymore. I'm like stuck!"

"I don't know WHO of us you tried on, but maybe the person in question has put in place mental protections so that their emotions are protected." Qui-Gon pointed out with a piercing look.

Ben was going to answer and argue but he understood that he had gone too far and that he had better be quiet, he used to scan the minds of the people in front of him in order to obtain indications of emotions which could be useful to him. It had become second nature to him, but analyzing an average person was one thing, doing it to a Jedi master was another.

Obi-Wan sighed, "I don't think we have much choice. We have to check."He turned to Ben: "Go on! Try to get what we have in mind."

Ben concentrated and tried to command the Force as he usually did: usually he would direct it towards the person in question and analyze the flow of emotions that revolved around him. It was that simple but nothing happened there. No matter how hard he tried to project, he didn't feel anything. At the end of the fourth attempt, however, he began to feel the Force circulating within him.

He sighed and admitted shamefully defeated: "I don't feel anything."

"Really nothing?" Ahsoka insisted. "It doesn't make sense."

"In the end I started to feel something in the Force again but it was tiny."

He kicked into space to let off steam. For 20 years he had walked daily with the Force, he didn't even remember what it felt like to be deprived of it and to live without it and there suddenly he found himself emptied of his powers. He felt diminished. He started walking to vent his frustration: the Force made him special, it was one of the few things he was proud of and now he was just a 30-year-old man with no pathetic special talent. He still had his pilot skills. But the more he thought about it the more he realized that a large part of his abilities were due to the Force: although flying was instinctive , he relied on the Force during fights. It was the Force who guided him to shoot, to avoid his adversaries. Obviously the humiliation was complete and total.

"I may have an explanation if I can allow myself" Anakin sarcastically tried

Everyone turned to him, some looked at him reluctantly.

"I don't think there is anything to panic about. In my opinion you are not emptied of the Force." stated there. He looked at each member of the group, turning on himself, raising his hands.

"Think: if Ben was no longer Force-sensitive would he be here? No! Could he see us? _No more_! Only Force-sensitive people can see us, I remind you."

Ben felt a weight lift from his chest, he breathed more freely. But then what was wrong with him?

Qui-Gon smoothed his thoughtful beard: "You were emptied of the Force and then you had it again in you. Maybe it will take you a little time and a lot of meditation and training so you can control it like before. "

Anakin noisily approved.

Master Windu was quick to respond: "Have the modest triumph Anakin."

Called to order thus the latter lowered his head but Ben could have sworn that it was only to hide his grin.

Master Yoda stepped forward: "Move forward we must."

Leia agreed: "Yes, now that we understand why Ben was stuck here, we must now work to bring him back among the living."

"Easier said than done." Ahsoka murmured, running his hand over his face, lost in thought.

"I have some answers from the Jedi books I have, but I don't have all the solutions." Luke said.

"It will take a lot of power, I'm not sure we are _enough_." Ahsoka pointed out.

She seemed to understand where Luke was coming from.

"Nor even that we are the people authorized to do so."

"The temple is _destroyed_ , who else could do it?" Anakin pointed out with exasperation.

"And whose fault is it?" got upset Mace Windu

"Not mine !"

"If the Emperor had not--

"Ah because I am the Emperor now!"

"Let's be calm please" interposed Qui-Gon but without success.

"We wouldn't be there if--"

They all started talking at the same time, each arguing their position. Ahsoka and Anakin were in the middle of a heated exchange and settled their accounts, each pointing an accusing finger at the other. Mace Windu was demonstrating something with great gestures to Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon while Leia, Luke and Yoda tried to appease everyone while following the conversations.

Ben watched the scene from a distance feeling anger rising inside him but this time he didn't try to contain it. They intervened for the sole purpose of bringing him back to life because they assumed he _wanted to be alive_. But had he only wondered what HIM wanted? No ! Like always ! He again felt like the little boy for whom decisions were made without consulting him and who was then confronted with a fait accompli.

The only thing he really regretted at the moment was that he didn't have more time with Rey. Of course he would have liked to be able to appreciate all that a romantic relationship could have brought! Of course he had dreamed of holding her, spending his time kissing her lovely mouth and more! _Force_ he was ashamed to think back to some of his dreams because they were so scabrous! But nevertheless he felt that she would be better off without him. What life could he offer her? Him the monster, the war criminal. For the first time in his life he was finally at peace, calm and they wanted to plunge him back into the chaos of the galaxy? Fight again? To run away again and again?

 _Kriffing_! It wouldn't happen, he wasn't going to let it go like that. With the Force or not he was going to complicate their taskt appreciate being yelled at.

"ENOUGH !" Ben yelled with all the force of his lungs.

They all froze on the spot. Mace seemed paralyzed in his disapproval, obviously he didn't like being yelled at. Qui-Gon looked at him with a raised eyebrow awaiting the continuation. Obi-Wan had crossed his arms and was also waiting. Yoda had put her two hands on the top of his cane and looked at Ben through his narrowed eyes almost closed, seeming to appreciate that someone had put an end to the group's quarrels. Leia looked at her son with wide eyes, they almost came out of their sockets. She had never seen him in this state, even on the holograms of the intelligence services where he seemed dangerous and powerful he had never been caught screaming like that. Luke on the other hand seemed more used since he had to deal with Ben's teenage crisis. The only ones who were perfectly relaxed were Ahsoka and Anakin. The first seemed to understand his anger, Anakin meanwhile had resumed his bravery and even seemed proud that his grandson were trying to win against all these great Jedi masters.

"Enough!" he repeated. He had dropped in a tone, but his anger seemed all the greater through his deep, dull voice.

"You are all here talking about me as if I were not there but are you wondering what _I_ want?" He watched the puzzlement paint on their faces. "No you think you know what's best for me. But I'm going to teach you something: I don't want to go back to where I come from!"

"What do you mean you don't want?" Leia started, puzzled and indignant at the same time. "Of course you do--"

"Leia please" Luke raised his hand to silence his sister. "Go on, Ben express yourself."

Ben gasped, when he picked up his voice was quieter:

"I'm grateful to you for what you're trying to do, really! But honestly you want to resuscitate me for what to do next? In case you forget it with my list of crimes I wouldn't go very far. So if it 'is to make me be executed, spare them this work, I have only to stay here the result will be the same: I am dead. "

"It's not the only option, Ben." Leia spoke softly. "Rey will make sure to explain the situation to the rest of the Resistance."

"No no I refuse to drag her in there! She has already suffered enough through my fault, she deserves the best and it's not with me that she will have it!" His whole being transpired suffering.

"Ben..." Anakin spoke calmly with unexpected sweetness. "You are lucky to have the woman you love who loves you in return. Who loves you despite the harm you have done. Who, from what I understand, hopes that you appear before her . Who regrets not having had more time with you. Who is ready to face his friends for you. You had what I never had: you were able to bring her back. You have a unique opportunity to to be able to do things well and to correct your destiny. So seize it! "

"He's right," Luke agreed. "You are a dyad in the Force. A _dyad_ Ben! An overpowering bond that only crosses once or twice in several millennia! Together you have a power more powerful than life and death! Together you could shake the stars, think about it! "

"Honorable fine you could do." Yoda intervenes. "On your past mistakes you could meditate. For your faults you should atone." supported Master Yoda.

Ben was deep in thought: the points they raised were all valid. Perhaps he was being cowardly. Maybe he was trying to protect himself at the expense of everything else. From Rey.

"The war isn't over Ben. Rey and the Resistance are still fighting. You could be of great help to them, it would be a way to atone for your crimes. You could be sentenced to exile." Leia explained in a soft voice.

"How's the war not over? Palpatine is dead!"

"Yes, but cutting the snake's head does n't mean that its members have stopped moving." Qui-Gon said wisely.

"You know better than anyone the organization of the First Order, put your knowledge at the service of the cause. I am dead but not what I was fighting for." Leia pointed out.

The sentence echoed in Ben's head, he had already heard it somewhere ... Yes ... that's what his father had said to him on the vestiges of the death star. How did his mother know? She was dead but wasn't yet one with the Force. A doubt began to germinate in his head ...

"Mother... ?" he began a warning note in his voice.

Leia looked at him innocently but her eyes sparkled with mischief.

He didn't push further, he understood: it wasn't a vision out of his head that he had had, it was Leia who had projected this image of Han in a last attempt to bring back her son.

"Thank you." he whispered emotionally, a knot in his throat.

Leia blinked in surprise and lightly squeezed his hand in comfort.

He took a deep breath. A resolution was beginning to arise in his chest: he could do it. He _had to_ do it. For Rey. For his father. For his mother. A warm note began to spread throughout his body and warm it up: hope.

"So we agree?" Ahsoka checked. "We continue ?"

Ben nodded, he straightened up to his full height, his eyes proud, his chest bulging.

"I'm ready!" he said with conviction.

"Well this is where we were before things--"

"Degenerate." scoffed Anakin.

"get complicated." Ahsoka finished without taking into account Anakin's intervention.

"I told you earlier that I would not explain everything to you, but ultimately I believe that we should not hide crucial information from you."

Ben nodded to thank her. He was tired of being treated like a child and Ahsoka's honesty was a breath of fresh air.

"We are in the world between worlds. Theoretically what we know is contained in several drawings from the Jedi books that I have recovered, also known as the chain theorem." Luke explained. "These drawings resemble networks connecting planets particularly important for the Force from where it is possible to enter and leave the world between the worlds." He made a drawing with his hands in the void so that everyone could visualize. "Few of the planets have been identified, but I know two of them: Ach-To, where I spent my last years, and its equivalent in the dark side: Exegol."

Ben winced at the name. He was thinking at full speed and he was picking up the wagons: we could enter and leave this world through these two planets, Ach-To said nothing to him at all but he knew Exegol only too well. He prepared for the future:

"Let me guess: can I only be brought back to a place I have already been to?" he sighed

"This is the safest thing," agreed Luke. "In your case I'm afraid you don't have much choice it will be--

"Exegol. Understood" sighed Ben resigned. The simple fact of saying the name aloud made him appear by flash Rey dead her big eyes staring at the void, soft as a rag doll. He tried to think of their kiss, so soft and tender.

"The idea is that we activate one of the portals to take you back to the other side. This is the only possibility." Ahsoka explained.

"Can't we activate it from Exegol?" asked Ben. Since Leia and Luke had already started to tell Rey maybe she could ...

"I know what you are thinking of Ben and it was highly improbable. At the present time with our knowledge, the only place outside the world between the worlds where one could enter and activate the portals was from a painting of the Gods of Mortis which was on the temple of Lothal. It was reached by touching the hand of the Daughter. But the temple was destroyed as Master Windu reminded us. " Ahsoka called back.

The Daughter ? Ben was lost.

"The only hope we have left is to activate one of the portals from the inside. Ezra told me that when he was here one of the portals activated in front of him and showed him a scene from the where I was fighting against Vader. " She looked at Anakin out of the corner of her eye who had a guilty look on his face.

"He saved me by passing his hand through the gate and pulling me backwards. It brought me here. We were then able to return to our respective times after adventures."

"How did the portal activate?"

"I don't know. That's exactly what I was explaining to Luke earlier: the portal may have activated itself by the Force, but I'm not sure we are allowed nor able to force him to activate. Ezra told me that it was my convor who had guided him to him. He doesn't know how he got in but he was there. "

"A spirit no doubt." advanced master Yoda

"We already have to find the right portal." Obi-Wan pointed out. "How do we know? I don't see any convor or spirit to guide us!" He pointed to all the doors around them.

"Mhh In the Force to trust we must." stated master Yoda.

He walked slowly along the corridors, eyes closed with outstretched hand. The others looked at each other then Obi-Wan shrugged and nodded inviting the group to follow him.

"At the point where we are." Ben heard Mace Windu grumble with a sigh.

They walked in silence, according to master Yoda. Sometimes one of them - Anakin or Mace - sighed. At the end of what seemed like an eternity, master Yoda finally stopped in front of a portal.

Master Windu, a finger on his temple, his eyes closed was focused. He finally opened his eyes and frowned: "Something repels me when I try to reach the gate."

"Me too!" Exclaimed Qui-Gon "It looks like a kind of shield."

One by one the Jedi stepped forward and tried with the Force to communicate with the portal. But all ended up backing defeated. Leia especially was the most upset of all: her Olympian calm had cracked and her face was wrinkled under the effect of frustration.

Frustration that seemed to be shared by several of them:

"It's still a shame!" raged Anakin. "We are eight Jedi and none of us can do anything! It's a joke !"

"Technically I am not a Jedi" reminded Ahsoka

"Nor me," added Leia softly.

"Very funny!" Anakin squeaked "Continue to play on the semantics if you want but you had better think about it for a solution!"

"You don't ask the right questions, so it's no wonder you don't have the right answers." A soft and harmonious voice had just been heard making them jump. 

They looked around, but there was nothing, only the void, walkways, gates.

"I know that voice" breathed Ahsoka

"Me too" recognized Obi-Wan

They turned to Anakin:

"Now that you say it, it tells me something too"

"Look!" Luke had just pointed his finger in the distance, a white shape was emerging in the air and approached them.

The shape was gradually drawn, white lines appeared in space and seemed to solidify into a shape; It formed a very poetic air ballet and pleasant to watch. The shape turned out to be a woman.

A woman like Ben had never seen one like this. No word was strong enough to describe her, her beauty was so exceptional. Her whole face was thin and delicate from her nose to her pink mouth and her beautiful green almond eyes. Her hair was long and silky and a very pale blonde that tended to green. Her skin was as white as the tea sets they had at home when he was a child. She wore an ivory and golden dress, the upper part of which was so indented that it revealed the curve of the breasts and part of the woman's belly. It had a small collar which gave a very formal aspect to the whole. The rest of the dress fell in a cascade which was entirely split on the front revealing the entire legs which were dressed in white strips. A short cape in the same color as the dress was attached to the shoulders. Golden fabric ran over the dress and through her hair, highlighting the cut of the bodice and her girlish size. Her ears were covered with large gold balls that completely hid them from view.

A _goddess_ , she can only be a goddess thought Ben. He tried not to look at her too much, he was no longer sure he could control himself. He felt like his cheeks were on fire. He turned his head towards the group and their reactions were priceless. Their eyes were so up on their foreheads that it was almost comical. Only Ahsoka, Obi-Wan and Anakin seemed more shocked than anything else. They looked at the apparition as if they had seen a ghost.

Ben felt a breeze around him and something brushed against him. He looked up and saw a bird land on the right shoulder of the goddess. It was a convor and its plumage went surprisingly well with the woman's dress and hair: the feathers were white and golden except on the top of the skull where they were green. The eyes were green.

Ahsoka suppressed an exclamation when she saw the bird. Obviously she recognized him as her faithful companion. The latter detached himself from his perch, fluttered towards her, hooting gently and came to rub his head against the cheek of the Togruta.

"I miss you, you know," she whispered to him.

Luke walked towards the apparition, clearing his throat: "Forgive us our ignorance but who are you?"

The woman replied with a smile: "Oh I thought your companions had told you about me. I am the Daughter. And here is my convor Morai."

"Your convor?" Ahsoka wondered.

"Yes he was my faithful friend, sometimes I took possession of his spirit and thus traveled beyond Mortis. After my death he followed you because you carry part of my powers within you. That is what you brought back to life. "

Master Yoda, Windu and Jinn approached her: "Delighted we are to meet you. We know you by Jedi legends and Master Kenobi and Skywalker had told us what had happened but we never would have hoped meet you in person. "

"Yes most of the time, I'm one with the Force and don't show up. I observe and that's it." she replied in an ethereal and distant voice. "But I felt that someone was trying to activate one of the portals. As an access guard I allowed myself to intervene."

Luke, Leia and Ben couldn't have been more perplexed. The others were perfectly at ease, pleasantly discussing old facts, but no one had bothered to explain them. Until the Daughter notices their discomfort.

"Forgive me it is true that you mustn't understand much of what is happening. Let me introduce myself: I am the Daughter, you can say that I am the supreme emanation of the light side of the Force. I had a brother who was the supreme emanation from the dark side. And there was our father who maintained a balance between us and in the Force. We were the Ones. As you can imagine we had great powers: we could transform ourselves, me into a griffin and him into a gargoyle. I was able to fly, to teleport from one point to another, I was gifted with telekinesis and I was able to rejuvenate life. Our powers were so powerful that they were operational in other places of the galaxy without us being there. Thus a mural on the temple of Lothal represented us and we thus preserved the access towards the world between worlds. "

Ahsoka suddenly seemed to understand something: "That's why Ezra found Morai here, you were in his head, you don't need to activate portals!"

The Daughter nodded.

A _goddess_ ... Ben was frozen.

"When the Clone Wars broke out, our weakened father thought that the Chosen One about whom a Jedi prophecy spoke would be the right person to take his place after his death and continue to maintain the balance."

The chosen one ? Ben looked around and met Anakin who winked at him. And it was only now that he discovered that? What did he still ignore?

"It didn't all go as planned." continued the Girl, still with the same celestial voice. "The Chosen One hadn't understood how dangerous the situation was with my brother who had become overpowered with the war and decided to go back to his Jedi duties. My brother kidnapped his padawan and corrupted her soul to make a weapon and the Chosen One and his mentor must have come to his rescue. My brother killed the padawan by drawing on her strength after he no longer needed her. He then tried to kill our father with the only weapon capable of killing us: the Dagger of Mortis. But I intervened and took the fatal stab. Before dying I asked my father to transfer my last forces into the body of the padawan in order to relive her. My death created a great imbalance in the Force but the balance was then restored when the Chosen One killed my brother. My father died too which brought back a perfect balance. Here is the whole story. "

Ben looked at Obi-Wan, Ahsoka and Anakin: they looked moved enough to remember the old days. Ahsoka looked at Anakin, all traces of anger gone. He smiled at her as a brother would do to his sister.

"I guess if you are here trying to activate a portal it is because you want to change the destiny of a person. A person who, unlike us who are one with the Force and can go where we want, is stuck here. " 

The Daughter looked Ben in the eye.

"Ben Solo."

She walked over to him, Ben tried to stay focused and not appear troubled. Which was not easy with those big green eyes which scrutinized him intensely and read inside his soul.

"I don't have as much power as before but I can help activate the portal. But are you worth it?"

Ben felt his chest tighten, he wasn't sure he was worthy of anything, let alone the second chance he was given: "I'm not sure, I--"

The Girl raised a finger to silence him and stretched out her hand, analyzing any of her thoughts. She frowned so much when she discovered all the darkness he had had in him that her eyebrows met in a furious line. Ben swallowed hard, the little hope he had started to feel in his chest was again flying away as the Daughter autopsied his mind. Her features began to relax as she addressed certain memories: her inner torture after the death of her father, her conflicting emotions about her mother, the burning love he felt more and more for Rey even if he didn't want to admit it, his desire to protect her at all costs from Snoke, his ultimate sacrifice for her.

"You are a very complex person: so much darkness but with a hint of luminosity that refuses to go out. You are able to kill your torturer to save the woman you love but you are also capable of hunt her down. So much contrasts and mismanaged anger! It would be a big challenge for you to try to make sure to fix your mistakes while trying not to go back."

Ben jumped: was she saying that despite everything he could have a chance of redemption?

"Look at the sky. Do you see the stars? They are the only limits to your actions. Make sure you reach the stars Ben Solo. Shake them !" she declared solemnly.

He promised to tie his throat. He couldn't believe his luck.

The Daughter nodded to him and went to stand near the gate. She put her hands on it and closed her eyes. Little by little the portal began to flicker as if it were lighting up, the esoteric symbols began to move.

"I'm going to need help, I'm no longer powerful enough." warns the Daughter.

"To work together we must!" agreed master Yoda

One by one the Jedi came to put their hands on the edges of the gate. The portal was now fully lit with bluish light. The center of the portal glowed red and suddenly before their eyes materialized a dusty and oppressive bluish universe.

Exegol.

Everything seemed destroyed, but suddenly they saw three figures moving among the rubble. Resistance fighters or Sith survivors wondered Ben.

"You find out, Ben." Qui-Gon told him.

"It's only you now." pressed Obi-Wan

"Meditate you must not forget." reminded him Yoda

Ben took a moment to look at them all, he wanted to engrave this image in his head.

"Thank you all." Throat tight he looked at them in turn. "I'll make sure it's not for nothing, that you are finally proud of me."

" _Ben!_ " Ahsoka clenched his teeth under the effort " _We don't have all the time!_ "

Leia let go of one hand of the gate and clutched her arm: "Take care of yourself above all."

He still hesitated, his uncle reassured him: "A thousand generations live in you now and in Rey. Everything will be fine now!"

Ben advanced towards the portal, in the distance the people among the rubble were moving away.

"Hey Ben ?!"

He turned around: Anakin was looking at him with a smirk. "May the force be with you !"

He was going to answer but he felt something push him brutally through the portal. It suddenly disappeared, the pathway began to glow again and deactivated.

The Jedi slowly withdrew their hands. They were all more or less exhausted given the amount of energy it took to activate the portal.

Leia stood in front, her eyes lost in the void. Luke approached his sister and hugged her: "It's going to be fine, it's going to be fine ..."

Leia sighed heavily: "I hope so."

Anakin happily intervenes "Yes, he can raise mountains!"

Leia smiles despite herself: "If you think I'm going to forget what I just saw you are mistaken master!"

Anakin assumed an indignant air that didn't convince anyone.

"I saw you pushing him through the gate very well!"

Anakin laughed: "I plead guilty! But someone had to do it! He would never be gone otherwise!"

Everyone laughed heartily. The tension dropped.

Before leaving they thanked the Daughter for a long time for her precious help.

Then one by one the ghosts, still talking to each other, faded.

The Daughter watched them leave, she remained a few minutes lost in her reflections: the future would say if she had been right to trust them.

Then as she had come, she left.

Silence had returned.

Calm too.

The void...

The darkness...

The stars...

And voices across the Force telling an eternal story ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Ahsoka Tano](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Ahsoka_Tano)
> 
> [Force Ghost](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Force_ghost)
> 
> [The Daughter](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Daughter)
> 
> [Painting of the Mortis God](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Painting_of_the_Mortis_gods)


	8. Hangover and negotiations don't mix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Resistance meeting with high command following the meeting of Chapter 4...  
> To sum up : If Poe could put his head in a bucket of ice water he would do it immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone ! I'm back ! The writing of this chapter was complicated and therefore long and I apologize: everything is starting to work together and it is not easy. In addition I prepare my contests so I don't have much time for myself but I promise to do my best!
> 
> If you are wondering about what kind of music and dance steps I imagined Finn and Poe 🤣, it's [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZb0xC3aQlQ&feature=emb_title) besides that Poe has a little Travolta-like air, don't you think? 😏
> 
> OR Boogie Wonderland (Earth, Wind & Fire)

If Poe could put his head in a bucket of ice water he would do it immediately. He felt like an X-Wing was stuck in his head and was looping at full speed. With a groan he sat heavily on one of the stools near the consoles. The cavern wasn't already a very organized and basic place, but there one had the impression that the Falcon had turned on its engines and that everything had been propelled to the four corners of the cavern.

He got up, dragging himself and went to pick up the stools one by one; he brought them back to the console, dragging them over the rocky floor of the cave, producing a shrill squeak that only increased his headache.

He no longer remembered much of what had happened that night after he had emptied his drink. He vaguely had the memory of having collapsed on the ground at one point, evidenced by a bruise on his forearm but the rest was completely blurred, entangled in a very thick cottony fog. Confused scenes unfolded before his eyes: Wrobie who was flying in the corner, Larma who ate everything that came to hand in order to soothe the sensations, Kaydel who had started crying for no reason ... He tried to clarify his thoughts: what had he done just after this drink? The more he thought about it the less he remembered.

He heard Finn come in heavy steps. He looked as exhausted and haggard as he was. He collapsed on another stool near Poe.

"'Morning"

"'Morning" Finn replied in a sleepy voice. "Remind me to kill Ransolm the next time I meet him ... Oh and remind me to kill you too for making the chairs creak!"

Poe smiled furtively: "Sorry. In his discharge we were warned by C3-PO."

"Yeah because we take into account what C-3PO says now?" Finn squeaked.

Poe grimaced, for once Finn wasn't wrong, the old protocol droid with pompous tone and infinite knowledge always found a way to take everything in the first degree and still did not know when it was better to keep quiet which was why a lot of resistant could not bear it. Poe first.

He cleared his throat, he didn't really want to ask the question but he had to know ...

"Do you remember what happened this night?" he asked with fear.

"You mean after the shot? Na, it's fuzzy, I think I remember that Ransolm was taking inventory of all the organs in his body that were burning from the inside. Uh, I also think I saw Larma trying to eat a piece of rock but I'm not sure. "

"Huh ?!"

"And after black hole, I don't know where I was, who I was with or what I was doing."

Poe sighed relieved, at least he was not the only one: "Same ... Where's Rose?"

"Don't know, I went to her bunk and she was already up."

"Chewie? Maz? Karé?"

Finn shook his head:

"I saw Chewie in the distance in the jungle, he growled something about hunting. Maz on the other hand I don't know, she is probably doing--

"Maz stuff." Poe finished.

"Yeah. I thought I saw Beaumont running to join Chewie. And Karé I didn't dare, I don't know her well enough."

Poe nodded : "I'll go. Anyway, there's a general meeting in a standard hour so everyone will be there."

Finn nodded, absent, he was about to go back to sleep when suddenly ...

"AH LOOK AT OUR GENERAL!" a voice made them jump.

Poe cursed inside: he was moderately in the mood to suffer the sarcasm of a certain person, a person who wouldn't fail to make fun of his condition.

Zorii approached, Rose and Beaumont on her heels.

Poe waved his hand in greeting, half slumped on the console trying to look cool and jaded.

"Ba then Dameron ?! We no longer have alcohol ?! Have you softened so much among the resistance fighters ?!" Zorii mocked, fists on hips as Rose and Beaumont chuckled.

"Hello to you too Zorii." greeted Poe. Usually he would have started quarter-turn, but there he didn't feel like doing it. He always felt something stir in his stomach and at times he wondered if he was going to vomit. He hoped Zorii would give up but ...

"I would have liked so much to see that! The tall, famous, _clever_ General Dameron unable to have a drink and stay upright in his boots!" Zorri clapped his hands together laughing.

"Hey easy, I lost my hand, we haven't had so much occasion to celebrate something in the past year I just want to point out to you." Poe protested.

"I wish I could see you dancing drunk with Finn it must have been something!" Zorii hilariously continued without listening to him.

Finn and Poe looked up and looked at each other startled: dancing ??? How did they _dance_ ?!

"Where did you hear that from? You weren't even there!"

Zorii sneered behind her helmet and pointed to Rose, who kept herself from laughing, hidden behind a monitor, and Beaumont, who looked too closely at the ground for it to be sincere in order to avoid meeting their eyes.

Finn and Poe's gaze shuttled between the two of them:

"Seriously?! Rose! Beaumont!"

Rose ends up laughing: "I just told her that's all."

"There are no videos or holograms promised!" said Beaumont. "Just witnesses like the two of us and--"

Poe tilted his head to the side, pinching the bridge of his nose, preparing for the next

"--and Maz, Chewie and Karé" finished Beaumont with a smirk.

Poe shook his head, he was ready to bet he would hear about it from Maz for a long time.

Finn turned to Rose intrigued:

"How come you weren't intoxicated? I saw you, you had a drink like us."

Rose shook her head: "It burned my tongue, I spit everything out. So I was less affected. I helped Beaumont to watch over you and the girls. It was kind of funny."

"Ridiculous you mean!" Finn intervened.

"Grotesque!" adds Poe who mentally tries to imagine the kind of dance he could have done. He used to go to a lot of improvised parties when he was a pilot in the service of the Republic but this kind of party was rather happy moments with friends around drinks where we had a good time. There had not been so many dance parties and Poe was thus cruelly lacking in experience in this area, he generally contented himself with waddling from one foot to the other, marking the rhythm.

"No no ! Funny ! I assure you! It was a bit like that" Beaumont began to sketch rhythmic dance steps, gesturing with enthusiasm. Although dismayed Finn and Poe laughed when they saw Beaumont's facial expressions, they almost regretted not having any memories!

Poe ends up getting up, trying to regain his seriousness:

"Well, that's not all, and although I would love to stay there with you to talk about my _wonderful_ dance technique, we have to get to work!"

He turned to Rose:"Can you contact Kaydel and Larma please? Tell them it's to prepare for the meeting."

Rose nodded and tapped her datapad at their destinations.

Poe decided to kill time while waiting for their arrival by having a private chat with Zorii. He wished to announce to her in person that he intended to appoint her as combat squadron leader rather than putting her before the fait accompli before the rest of the Resistance. The other pilots didn't really care about this kind of formality but Zorii was different and he didn't want to take any risks, he didn't want her to point and refuse.

"Zorii? Can I speak to you please?"

He invited her to follow her to the back of the cavern. Zorii seemed reluctant then the will to find out what Poe had to say took over. She crossed her arms awaiting the continuation.

Poe took a deep breath, he still didn't know how to handle situations with Zorii. The unresolved liabilities between them coupled with Poe's departure and then return made their relationship tense and electric, even frankly stormy. Their confidence in each other and their complicity of yesteryear would probably never be found, but Poe hoped that he and Zorii could work hand in hand in the near future on a few important missions.

"Look, I don't know what you plan to do in the next few weeks but know that you have your place among us. I really mean it. You are like us: you like adventure, risk, adrenaline, challenges, you--

"Stop beating around the bush, spit out the piece!" Zorii interrupted him annoyingly.

Poe nodded grateful for not having to make long pompous speeches: "I would like to appoint you as the head of a combat squadron. We are reforming the squadrons and reassigning the members so that they are operational. You would be in charge of the Green squadron composed of A-wing. "

"Why me ?"

Even with his helmet covering his face, Poe knew that Zorii had frowned.

"You are a good pilot and I know you have the leadership we need."

"Just like many other pilots on this base who are in addition veterans." Zorii was more than skeptical at this point. She advanced towards Poe:

"If you do that you can be sure that some of your soldiers will stick out their tongues to question your decision. You can be sure that they will bring back the fact that you and I are old acquaintances. I don't need to to explain that to you Poe, you know how it works in this environment, it's about the same as in smuggling: we work on the basis of seniority and merit. However, I only did one fight with you. It will be a slap in the face of many people! "

"I didn't make this decision alone!" protested Poe. "I took it with Finn, Larma, Wrobie and Kaydel. Wrobie is the representative of the squadrons and she had no complaints."

"You can say what you want, you can't take away from me the idea that there is a reason behind all this. You are ready to risk your authority and the confidence of your troops by appointing me squadron leader. Your _little_ speech on my qualities will not prevent me from thinking that you are hiding something from me and that you have an idea in mind. "

She came a little closer to Poe who tried to keep his gaze through the helmet without blinking.

"Spit it out! What is the problem with this squadron so that you want to put me at its head?"

"Zorii, look, that's not it at all--

She interrupted him, blowing loudly: "Don't play that with me Poe, even if you have become a stranger to me, you are still predictable, your reactions haven't changed much, your facial expressions either."

"Very well you will have wanted it! There are seven of them, nobody really knows them and I had hoped, well no I mean we had hoped that--

"That I would play the guards? That I would watch them discreetly to find out what their motivations are? Who they really are?"

Poe felt that he had been tactless and had injured Zorii by letting her understand that she was only there to play guardians. He tried to repair his blunder but only went deeper:

"They are former bounty hunters and I thought, seeing that--

"seeing that I am only a smuggler, that I could be with them, after all they are my fellows ..."

Poe felt that he had hurt her even more. He felt the pain in her voice when she spoke again:

"So is that how you see me Poe? Just good at playing spies with people you don't trust and that you obviously despise to the point of not trying to know them yourself?"

Poe didn't know what to answer, his brain was completely slowed down by the excesses of the previous day and he didn't see how to get out of this situation which he had caused himself. He was afraid of making matters worse by opening his mouth again. He didn't think of any of the things Zorii accused him of, but he didn't know how to defend himself without making the situation worse.

Zorii gasped in disgust at his silence and turned on her heel. She turned around briefly:

"Two things: firstly I agree to lead the squadron if no one objects. I will lead it until I find a place to go in the next few weeks. Consider it my farewell gift. Secondly .. from now on, don't speak to me anymore Dameron! "

Her voice full of threats, the murderous look through his helmet, Zorii turned on her heels without giving Poe time to respond.

Poe stood there for a few minutes, angry with himself, he went around in circles, blowing loudly. He ends up calming his nerves by kicking the rock.

"Damn it!"

He ran his hands over his face, how could the situation have gone so far ?!

_I'm just a fool_

One more proof that diplomacy wasn't his strong point.

He returned to the consoles, his face dark. Kaydel and Larma had arrived and were happily chatting with the others while preparing for the meeting, telling those who wanted to hear them that absolutely nothing had happened the day before. And Larma had _absolutely_ not tried to eat rock.

"Is everything all right?" asked Rose worried. "We saw Zorii pass by, she looked angry ..."

Poe shook his head without answering, Finn signaled to Rose that it was better not to insist.

"We're ready Poe, it's when you want." Beaumont announced.

"Alright let's go! Ring the general rally!"

The loudspeakers sputtered at full power through the caves and the surrounding jungle: "BEWARE! GENERAL ALERT, ALL VETERANS AND DROIDS ARE IMMEDIATELY EXPECTED NEAR THE MAIN CAVERN FOR A MEETING WITH THE HIGH COMMAND!"

The high command was installed under one of the openings of the cavern which overlooked the cleared area where the planes were stationed, in particular the Falcon. They had moved a few consoles and monitors so that everyone could see the holograms.

The combatants formed a joyful and heterogeneous troop: they arrived through the jungle, descending from the small makeshift villages they had built, chatting with enthusiasm, arm in arm, greeting each other. Gradually as they approached the cave, they separated into fighting bodies: the pilots, the ground intervention troops, the analysts, the intendants, the intelligence agents ...

They settled in as they could, some sitting on crates, others on the grass or leaning on the devices.

The gossip found it hard to stop and Poe had to do it several times before succeeding in obtaining a semblance of silence and to be honest if Maz hadn't stood on a crate with a megaphone in her hand and had yelled in, he'll still be trying to channel them.

Taking advantage of the forced silence that Maz had obtained at the expense of certain eardrums, Poe hurried to open the session:

"Good! Since we are all together and the pace is slower than in the past, we decided to organize this meeting to inform you of the changes that will be made to our organization, the new objectives and the missions that Any questions? No? Okay, so let's get started. "

Poe and Finn came to stand in front. Poe had crossed his arms over his chest, Finn had his thumbs slipped into his belt.

"It's not cheerfulness that we're doing this, but we're going to start by scolding you." Poe had another more colorful term in mind instead of "reprimands" but if he had learned something from Leia it was that it was possible to get any type of message across while remaining polite. And he had done well, it was already starting to whisper in the ranks.

"You are all brave soldiers, courageous and loyal, if we are alive today it is thanks to you. Having said that, we have noticed several failures in recent weeks."

The whispers started again, all wondering what their generals meant by "failures".

Finn took over:

"We understand the fact that you need to decompress after all that has happened during this past year and for some for even longer but clearly the carelessness that we have been able to observe in recent weeks must stop now."

"Concretely this means that when we organize meetings to meet the new members you are asked to come!" Poe explained, trying not to raise his voice too much. "There are heads here that I still don't recognize!"

Out of the corner of his eye Poe saw some resistants bow their heads to hide their embarrassment.

"I don't want to know the names of the culprits, all I want is that at the end of this meeting you go to Cassy Algara and Captain Connix in order to register and update your information in our database."

There were relieved murmurs when they saw that there would be no sanctions this time. However, they held their breath again when the Commander D'Acy advanced, brandishing a silver object in her hand, her face particularly severe:

"This is, as you all know, a communicator. You are supposed to have one with you at all times so that you can receive messages, alerts or whatever! I have checked and I can definitely say barely half of you have theirs in working order and activated. "

Nobody piped a word this time, many looked at the ground, others searched as discreetly as possible in their pockets to get their hands on their communicator. Poe could almost have laughed, imagining himself quite in their place, desperately rummaging through his pockets with the embarrassed head of someone who had done something stupid and got caught, if he hadn't been so worried: since when had the Resistance softened to this point? They could be conciliatory towards the soldiers who didn't respect the regulations because peace was almost restored, at least there was no longer an imminent threat but what would have happened if there had been an attack there, right now ? He was shivering just thinking about it.

"Please have your devices checked with the technicians" They remain in stock if you don't have one. And beware: there may not be any sanctions this time but I will check and if there are still any breaches we will take action. "

Larma's voice snapped against the walls of the cave and reverberated around the assembly. You could have heard an insect fly.

"Remember: you are not forced into anything! If our strict functioning doesn't suit you, you are free to go and we will be happy to recommend you to whomever you want in recognition of your bravery. The Resistance has survived so far thanks to this slogan "Always ready!" Ready to take off, to fight, to survive and to die if necessary. It won't stop today! Not with me! "

With that, Larma backed away after nodding to Poe.

"I would also like the little parties that you organize almost every evening in the village to end."

Protests immediately arise: _how come there would be no more parties? They had survived and they were no longer allowed to party? Surely Poe was joking, he's so happy._

Poe threw up his hands in resilience: "Don't get me wrong, I love to party too. I'm not asking you to stop completely but just to slow down. We're not busy at the moment but the missions will resume and I need everyone to be at their best and not half asleep and drunk dead in the morning as I saw a few days ago. "

He saw some young recruits lower their heads with guilt, among them Pacer Agoyo and Zay Versio. Poe had actually found them a few days earlier in the morning with some other completely drunk young soldiers after apparently having started a sabacc game during which the losers had to drink shots. At the time he didn't reprimand them too much, partly because they were young and partly because in their state it would be useless. He had left them in the care of Zay's adopted uncle, Shriv Suurgav, who hadn't been asked to serve a mercury to these young people.

"Oh maybe you have names in mind General?" asked Zorii maliciously who had stayed away from the group and who was now staring at Poe through his helmet.

Everyone turned to her, wondering what she meant. Poe heard Finn whisper behind him to Rose, Beaumont, Larma and Kaydel: "Now is not the time to be funny about what happened last night and she knows it very well, _what is she playing at_? "

Poe gulped nervously and replied in a drier voice than he would have liked: "You are still new here Zorii and you will learn that, ordinarily, we don't make accounts in public. If need be I would take apart from the people concerned in order to let them know of my dissatisfaction but in no case would I publicly humiliate them. "

 _And shit_ ... he had address her as "you" and as a bonus he had cropped her in front of everyone. It wasn't going to help the situation but it was too late to back off now. Zorii looked like she had been hit hard, she pulled back a little more in a dark corner of the cave.

He met Rose's gaze which made him think of that of Maz who looked at you with his magnifying glasses. Uneasy, he looked away, scratched his throat and turned to the audience.

"Speaking of the village ..."

He heard them nervously sucking the air, all were hanging on his lips, fearing that he announced the destruction of the village.

"I asked the team of technicians to work actively on the extensive development of the cavern for the officer. They will eventually be accommodated on site. The village will remain, the makeshift camps will turn into real homes. "

There was a collective sigh of relief, cheers of joy even.

Rose smiles: "Many of us have had chaotic journeys without having real places to either sit down. We would nott want to take away from you what you have patiently built."

Poe nodded: "Don't hesitate to make suggestions. The only condition that the high command makes is that the parties calm down a little and that everyone is ready to respond to a signal whatever the time of day or at night. "

"Is the message clear?" He looked around the silent assembly and met Maz's who nodded.

"So we're going to move on to more serious things, namely the refitting of the combat squadrons."

He could also have announced the start of a new war: the pilots suddenly stared intently at their leaders, some with their foreheads wrinkled in concentration.

Poe took the opportunity to quench his hirst and give the floor to Kaydel and Wrobie:

"In view of the increase in our staff and the prospect of receiving a fleet of new aircraft, we concluded after consultation that the best way to continue to be operational is to modify the compositions of the squadrons in order to replace the places left vacant by our dead. " Kaydel explained.

"We don't forget them!" hastened to intervene Wrobie because she had already seen that some began to protest against what seemed to them a lack of consideration towards their deceased comrades. "We will never forget them! But we must recognize that a full squadron is more powerful than a half-empty squadron."

"Here are the new squad leaders, I'm going to ask those present to stand up for more visibility."

Poe, Larma, Shriv, Yolo, Daulu Duar, Bastian, C'ai Threnalli, Zorii and Karé stood up. Only Cramoisi, Coalstreak and Dagger squadrons were not represented because they were still on missions. There were enthusiastic cheers when the names appeared, the pilots formed a family apart within the Resistance and seeing one of their distinguished filled the whole army corps with joy and pride. There were however surprised whispers: the double nomination of Bastian and C'ai Threnalli as joint leaders of the Red squadron surprised but after all they were the only two survivors of the old team and they were also good one that the other. The two brothers in arms had also fallen into each other's arms and were already starting to joke about who would be the real leader.

The appointment of Daulu Duar also surprised, he was young and didn't have the experience of veterans but after all why not.

The biggest surprise came from the appointment of Zorii. Many were amazed by this choice, they knew her well, she had no trouble sympathizing with them and they knew she was a gifted pilot but they didn't expect her to be so fast at the head of her own team.

Poe looked at Zorii, expecting her to announce that she was withdrawing at any time, but nothing happened. She waited, paying no attention to the murmurs they surrounded her.

"And here are the team lists." Kaydel announced, displaying several holograms. "Please get in touch with your boss."

It was a general crowd: the pilots scrambled to find their names on the lists then they tried to fight their way towards their teams. They called to each other, each asking the other where he had been assigned. Although the Resistance put everyone on an equal footing, the fact remained that some squadrons were more popular than others. Like the mythical Black squadron. Those chosen by Poe crowded around him, a bright smile on their lips, some of them with eyes almost misted in tears.

Between two handshakes, Poe saw Shriv out of the corner of his eye trying to block Pacer who was starting to revile Teza Nasz. Poe apologized to his new pilots and approached the Dross Squadron.

"A problem ?"

"You know very well! She ... She--"

"That's enough kid!" growled Shriv. "If your superiors saw fit to appoint her to this squadron, you obey and you keep silent! How many times will I have to tell you to respect the chain of command ?!"

"But she--"

"We know Pacer, we know! And it seems to me that we already had this discussion last year on Ryloth. Teza has proven her loyalty to our cause many times. She deserves a chance."

Poe waited for the boy to calm down a bit and left him with the Shriv guard, who continued his admonitions.

A hand with the iron fist fell on his arm while he was going to join his team, he found himself face to face with Teza:

"I don't know if I should thank you or curse you. It may well be that you just threw me into the pit ..."

"Are you contesting this nomination?"

"No ... but you can't force others to accept me even if I appreciate your efforts." Teza never smiled, so to speak, or it was a carnivorous smile that was cold in the back. Poe took her grimace for what it was: an attempt to express thanks.

"It's worth a try. Just don't kill the kid if he gets on your nerves."

Teza widens her smile a little: "I'll try to keep that in mind."

With a nod Poe returned to the consoles where Kaydel tried to attract the attention of the audience by waving her arms to demand silence:

"You will notice that the positions of squadron leaders are commanding positions. We will soon be holding a graduation ceremony to celebrate your advancement!"

Cheers broke out in the cave, they clasped the hands, the arms of the new officers who still remained brothers and sisters for whom we rejoiced in their good fortunes.

"And also the promotion to the rank of captain of Rose Tico as well as the posthumous promotion by our late General Organa of Kaydel Connix to the rank of captain!"

The cheers started again, some already talking about organizing a party to celebrate the event.

Kaydel smiles, trying somehow to regain control of the situation:

"People with an asterisk next to their names will be asked to contact Elna Zibsara and Dreanna Conunda, our experienced instructors, to schedule a testing session at the end of this gathering."

Indignant protests broke out immediately, Elna presented herself to calm the game:

"It's not that we don't have confidence in your piloting capacities, it's especially that many of you are new whose capacities we don't know. I would be to accompany you on an evaluation flight and I would then write a counter-rendering on each of you to find out exactly what devices you can fly on and if you have weak spots to work on. I will also provide training so that you can fly on any type of wing. There's nothing to really worry about! We've all been there! Even me! Same Poe! "

The pilots calmed down, some still grumbled a little but on the whole they accepted being evaluated.

Beaumont came forward:

"Problem solved! Shall we move on?"

Beaumont and Yama Dex then spent long minutes explaining in the most interesting way possible the reports of spies from different systems. They had insisted on including this data at the meeting so that everyone had a complete view of the problems to be resolved. Yama had only joined the Resistance last year after being saved on Corellia by the Wedge team, but she quickly became an expert in data analysis and decryption. Driven by the will that no other living being suffers from the First Order as she suffered from it, she quickly became one of the main analysts under Beaumont with Seossra Thwisp.

Poe spoke at the end of the presentation:

"The next mission will be a trip to Fondor where General Calrissian and ground troops await us with new aircraft as a thank you for clearing the yards of First Order troops."

The pilots cried out with joy and stamped on the spot: finally new aircraft!

"You will leave tomorrow at the first hour. You will be transported by Commander Suurgav and Commander Bliss in two troop carriers and escorted by Black and Stiletto squadrons. Then each of you will leave with a plane."

"Once you are back we can launch the raid on Orinda while waiting to have more information on the situation of the other planets. As you can see, our aim is to gradually liberate the different systems from the presence of the first order but our final goal is to work for the re-establishment of an efficient Republic. "

The soldiers nodded, all were tired of the war, some were born in it and had known several. They weren't talking about politics within the troops, it was taboo but everyone was aware that it was necessary to work for the good of the galaxy and to help the formation of a new Republic like the Rebellion before them was their wish. There was some applause. Some of the pilots even stood up chanting: "Poe chancellor, Poe chancellor!"

Poe laughed, taking the others with him: "It won't be me, I will miss you too much! Joking aside, we have an idea of the candidate who could bring our proposals and gather around him representatives of the different free systems in order to 'try to restore a constitution. "

He waved to Ransolm Casterfo who was standing back next to Maz and Chewie to invite him to join him. His appearance provoked a few whispers.

"We want former Senator Casterfo to represent us. He knows the workings of the political system better than anyone, has real leadership and for having witnessed the fall of the old Republic he will try to avoid another rise of extremes. "

"But first I'll have to be exonerated of the crimes I was accused of several years ago. You know my story, you know how I was betrayed. What you need to know is that the names of Senators and planets that you heard earlier in Beaumont's reports are names that you will have to remember for the future. "

Ransolm looked around the audience: "The missions that follow will aim on the one hand to free the planet from the presence of the First Order but also to arrest the senators who orchestrated my fall in order to get them confessions and bring them to justice. If I tell you that it is so that you have all the information, we don't want to manipulate you by hiding from you the real objective of your missions. "

Resistance fighters stubbornly savored the honesty of their leaders.

"Here are the targets we are looking for at the moment. This morning I entered their names in the list of criminals wanted by free systems. Once entered on the list we have the necessary authority to track them down, wherever they are without asking permission from anyone. Targets have no bounty, so only people interested in justice and in our cause and not in credits will hunt them down. It's the only way that we have found to prevent bounty hunters from launching themselves on their tracks and giving them to who will offer the most. Our enemies still have support almost everywhere, especially financial, we want to prevent them from getting safe and let us lose their tracks. " Larma explained.

She paused: "We are also actively working to block their bank accounts but as you can imagine it is an abysmal work: we come across shell companies which refer to other shell companies. The restoration of the Republic may allow us to work on a larger scale and block their financial contributions, but for the moment we cannot do much. "

She screened several holograms: Carise Sindian, Erudo Ro-Kiintor, Fatil and Ormes Apolin. They began to turn on themselves. The images dated a little, we saw the Senators in all their splendours, richly dressed, the port proud and arrogant.

"Fatil is on the run and I haven't been able to locate her yet." Beaumont explained. "Sindian and Ro-Kiintor are hiding on their respective planets, I asked my agents for details."

"I added Apolin this morning to the list," explained Larma to Poe and Finn, who was looking with interest at the proud, cruel-looking man in his fifties. "Seossra had some interesting information about him last night."

"When preparing the message to Kuat's governement to demand the departure of the troops, I realized that he was in the government under a false name. The government has massively dealt with the First Order, obtaining contracts much more juicy than the other subject planets. And for good reason : Apolin personally knew the Emperor and he was even advanced at one point to lead the First Order before Snoke arrived! " explained the caphex.

"I was on" murmured Ransolm. "I suspected that he was hiding his past relations with the Emperor, he had told me how much he admired the shining armor of his personal guards."

"Putting it on the list allows us to have a great capacity for action because I fear that our message will remain unanswered. We can wait for their reply politely and act then but I think they will refuse."

All agreed. Poe turned to Major Gartfran: "With your strategic knowledge, can you prepare for us topos on the different planets in question? Insist on capitals, military structures but above all their weak points. We will no doubt have to disembark there for missions soon and we have to have all the cards in hand. They will fight on land they know, so we have to upgrade. "

"Okay, let's get started right away! I will start with the Orinda satellite first, then Hevurion and Kuat and finally Arkanis." replied the old man.

"Perfect! The intelligence section must focus its efforts first on locating targets. We will only move when we have located them. We will kill two birds with one stone: rid the planet of garrisons and capture them."

Yama and Seossra agreed, taking notes on their datapad.

"Excuse me ?" A voice rose among the troops, it was one of the Duncan twins, Ies Ile. All heads turned to her and she blushed at all the pairs of eyes that stared at her.

"If I have understood correctly, our missions will ultimately enable us to restore the position and the credibility of Senator Casterfo in view of building alliances and bringing together free peoples around us in order to rebuild a Republic, right?"

"Correct!" Rose confirmed. "Continues"

"Even with our support, it will be difficult because the Senator is a stranger on the political scene so to speak. Sorry" she added embarrassed towards Ransolm who signaled to him that he was not taking offense at his comments. She was right.

"We need heavy supports, people who have been recognized for years, people with connections ..."

"You have an idea in your head," said Poe. "What do you think?"

Ies Ile took a deep breath:

"Mon Mothma. You must go see Mon Mothma"

The meeting was coming to an end, the resistance fighters dispersed in small groups, exchanging on what they had just learned. It had been agreed to summon everyone again if new information came. The pilots would meet again the next morning at dawn for a final point before leaving.

In a corner Cassy Algara armed with a tablet entered the identities of the few soldiers who had not shown up.

Lieutenant Aarton Chireen as intendant distributed comlinks while Ibdun Dand checked their working conditions.

Vazzet Dipterz and his Cyclorean swarm were talking to Phenlass and Odla Sur about the future development of the cave. They were taking measurements and studying the hardness of the rock.

The pilots had not all left, many had stayed and gathered around Shasa Zaro and begged her to be kind enough to take care of the decoration of their future aircraft. Shasa had everything recorded by her mechanic droid, there weren't really rules for helmet and airplane decorations. Only the indication of the squadron was compulsory and again... Patiently she listened to all the requests, from the simplest to the most eccentric: Noefera had just told her that she had heard Major Angon speak of a dragon who lived on icy land.He had vaguely drawn her the beast and she hoped that Shasa could be inspired by it in particular by painting it surrounded by flames on her cockpit ...

Elna also took the opportunity to schedule the various evaluation sessions between her and Dreanna who should not be long in returning from her mission on Exegol.

Yolo Ziff also stayed. He was to meet with the high command concerning the distribution of posters and videos presenting the Resistance.

"HoloNet is free again, we should take advantage of it by posting videos introducing ourselves, our members, our actions and our goal." Kaydel explained.

"We can shoot little spots showing us at work," suggested Yolo. "People will get to know us."

"Be careful not to disclose sensitive information" warns Finn

"I propose to film and then show you the final cut for your approval. You will not even realize that I am filming, it will be natural. And I will make new posters, I have several ideas in mind." Yolo said.

"Very good. Ask Shasa for help if necessary. I'm going to tell Suralinda so that you can work together, we will need good articles and hers will always hit the target." said Poe.

"It would be nice if Rey came back." Yolo pointed out. "People know the Jedi, they respect them. It would be a definite asset."

"I don't want to use Rey as a vulgar propaganda tool." bristled Finn.

"We will suggest her." tried to appease him Poe. "We'll see her answer."

He dismissed them and turned to his companions who were busy resetting the consoles and monitors. He saw that Rose was hurrying particularly. He knew she was looking forward to going back to Leia's memories. Her headphones were hanging from her belt.

"Honestly, it's been a long time since I had thought of My Mothma." he recognized

"The same." admitted Beaumont. "We have heard so little about her since her illness that I thought she was more or less dead."

"She is a legend, even I know her! If she was dead, we would have known, right?" Finn asked.

"I have had no contact with her for several years, but I can ask my father, they were close once." proposed Larma.

"Good idea," approved Poe. He looked around for Maz, hoping she hadn't passed out again in the wild. He found her near the river running through the cave, accompanied by Chewie and a few porgs who had acclimated well to the temperate microclimate found near the base rivers.

"Hey Maz! Wouldn't you know someone who knows someone who knows where to find Mon Mothma?"

Maz looked at him, narrowing his eyes, "Maybe ... I will try to see what I can do. I promise you nothing."

Poe thanked her with a nod and turned to Beaumont, who stored some of the confidential information from the meeting in small tubes which he then put in a small pocket on the shoulder of his shirt. He had to clarify a point:

"Tell me Beaumont, who exactly are your informants? I mean how reliable are they?"

"Reliable there are, by their personal history most often tragic because of the Empire or the First Order. I don't know if you really want to know who they are ..." declared Beaumont, scratching his head .

"That is to say? I have been in the game long enough to know that everything is not shiny even with us, but how bad is it?" asked Poe

"Well, not all of them are model citizens if you know what I mean: we have civilians, children, slaves, barmaids, waiters, droids, smugglers, bounty hunters, killers hired--

"It's okay I don't want to know any more I--"

"prostitutes ,--"

"Huh ?!"

"You can't even imagine the number of brothels that the First Order authorized to set up or even set up itself ... It's a real lucrative market, the officers of the First Order, the stars alone know how many there are, there are many of them who are used to it. It's also a particularly reliable source of information, they trust each other after--

"It's good it's good I got the idea" stopped Poe, embarrassed. "Do you promise them something in return?"

"Generally not. They do it themselves and know the risks involved. They do it for the good of all. But we sometimes made exceptions: we happened to help some informants who had problems, we exfiltrated them and sent them to another system so that they would be forgotten. And we try to protect children as much as possible. "

Poe thanked him for this information, thoughtful. He had talked about children, it made him remember what Rose had said the day before: she would like to free the slave children. He sighed, he knew that the First Order embodied Evil but at times it hit him harder. Like right now.

He looked at the chronometer hanging on his wrist, it wasn't too late on Tatooine. A distraction would do him and his headache good.

He turned to Finn:

"Do you want to contact Rey?"

Poe had barely finished when Finn was already grabbing his datapad.

დდდდდდ

_Tatooine_

The datapad Rey had placed on the kitchen table began to buzz, signaling the arrival of a transmission.

"Hello Jedi!" Finn exclaimed, waving his hand.

Rey smiles when he sees her best friend. "Hi there! How have you been since yesterday?"

The hologram blurred a bit when Finn shifted so that Poe would also appear in the camera's field of vision.

"What's up ?" he asked

"Nothing new, just the maintenance of the farm. I'm finishing the bathroom."

Poe winced: "I don't even remember what it feels like to wash in a real bathroom and not in a river."

Rey smiled: "You should have seen me transporting the material from Mos Eiley on my speeder. It was pretty funny."

Although the sight of the sink tied to the speeder made her smile, her smile remained bitter. What she didn't tell them was the welcome she had received in the city. She went there a few times to buy food and electrical components and everything went very well. But she had since made the mistake of talking to the merchants and telling them where she came from. " _An abandoned moisture farm ... in the desert ... in that direction ..."._ They looked at her in terror and backed away so quickly that they bumped against the wall behind them. At first Rey thought they had seen a threat behind her, so she turned around on the alert, ready to do battle but there was nothing. The merchants pointed at her terrified. Still not understanding she had notified an old woman in the corner, who, although reluctant to speak to her, had finally explained to her that the farm was cursed, there had happened bad things, they avoid going there if they can. She had moved away from Rey as fast as she could from the top of her old legs by hugging an amulet, whispering incomprehensible words. The only thing Rey could understand was that if she lived there, she must be a demon too.

Perhaps it was bad for good, if she were to leave to join her friends, the farm would be safe, no one would dare approach it. However, she didn't want to worry her friends about such trifles, she was able to manage alone.

She cleared her throat, "What are you doing right now?"

It was Rose who answered having managed to push Finn little by little out of the camera field. She summed up the latest developments for him.

"We will probably be unreachable tomorrow with the mission, will we contact each other after ok?"

"Understood! So how are you going to fly?"

"Yes! Finally! I leave the management of the bastion to Finn for a few hours. I look forward to being among the stars again!"

Rey heard Finn laughing, answering off-screen: "And while he's having fun we do all the work."

The hologram blurred again when Poe suddenly left the field of vision and left the pad to Rose and Beaumont who took advantage of it. Rey thought he heard rumors of a fight behind them and saw Finn pass by, chased by Poe.

"Are they killing each other?" she asked lightly.

Rose looked over her shoulder, "They're heckling." Suddenly she frowned at the two belligerents: "Don't come and complain afterwards! I would have warned you!"

"Rey, where are you with the books?" asked Beaumont.

"I haven't touched it since I got here." she admitted. "With the farm, all that ... I mostly did meditation."

 _And especially thought of a certain beautiful man and the way we kissed_ ...

Rey felt guilt again invade her along with the words of Luke and Leia.

_Your friends deserve to know, it's your family now._

She had to tell them ... She opened her mouth to do it but Beaumont didn't leave her time to speak: "Don't hesitate if you need, I would be delighted to try to help you again, these books are so fascinating! "

"I promise! And when I come back I will bring them back like that so you can read them again."

"Are you going back then ?!" Rose exclaimed cheerfully as Beaumont smiled at the prospect of being able to get his hands on the sacred texts.

Rey bit her lower lip, she had spoken faster than she thought, she still wasn't sure what she wanted to do.

"Maybe not right away, I'll be back for the more complex missions that you are setting up on Kuat, Hevurion or Arkanis."

"Poe has something to ask you about that." Rose turned back and called out, "Poe! _Leave_ Finn! Or else I'll tell Rey all about last night ..."

Poe appeared as suddenly as if he had fallen from the sky and Beaumont left him his place.

"What ?! What happened? Nothing serious I hope ..." asked Rey worried.

"Nothing serious, just a meeting late at night which ended with the reading of Leia's last will by Maz and an alcoholic tribute. She also left you something, it's Maz who keeps them for the moment."

Rey searched her memory to try to remember if Leia had told her about something about a legacy but nothing came back to her.

"I imagine I can't delay my return now." she remarked thoughtfully.

"It would be better indeed" approved Poe. "Especially since we may need you in the negotiations to build the Republic."

Rey immediately frowned, suspicious: "How's that?"

Poe cleared his throat uncomfortable: "It was suggested to make short films for HoloNet in order to present the Resistance, our actions and our goal so that people are aware of our missions and that they support us in building the new Republic. "

"I advised him not to do this." Finn intervened

"Neither do I like the idea of usinghert for political gain but the fact that she is a Jedi might help us. And it's not like we want to use her to gain power for us alone. It’s to restore order and peace in the galaxy! "

Finn started to protest but Rey took him by surprise: "Very well, I will help you. Only to help Senator Casterfo wash his name and to gather people of weight to lead to the signing of a new galactic concordance."

Rey was thinking at full speed, she found herself in the middle of a war by chance or it was the will of the Force she knew nothing about it but what was at the base that a will to survive was transformed into vocation. She had fought the First Order because it was right to do so. She had fully embraced the ideals of the Resistance and fought body and soul against tyranny.

 _The war is not over,_ Leia reminded her. She couldn't hide here any longer and run away from her responsibilities when there was so much to do. She was not going to remain a spectator of her destiny, not after having been all her years on Jakku. She could still continue on her way, free the slave children or found a new Jedi order afterwards.

"As long as I don't do politics." she warned

Poe shook his head relieved: "It will be to try to convince the heads of the different systems to join us in negotiations, meetings and some videos nothing more, no speeches or whatever. You will not be alone, the high command will also be involved. "

Rey nodded and relaxed, as long as her friends were with her and she wasn't alone that was the most important thing. With Ben's departure it was the only thing she dreaded and hated: being alone. And strangely she had isolated herself on Tatooine. She shook her head, she was no longer near a contradiction.

Poe paused and then said, "I don't like the idea of entering the political arena either. The others wanted me to represent them, but I'm not made for that. And the others all declined for the same reasons. Ransolm is really qualified for the role. "

"You don't have to justify yourself Poe, I know you are doing your best to manage everything between combat, missions and the future." reassured Rey.

She saw Poe's hologram blink in surprise: "Are you okay Rey? It's the first time you've complimented me ..."

Rey exhaled in exasperation, his eyes darkening in a false threat: "Beware that this is not the last ..."

Poe laughed, raising his hands: "I recognize you there."

დდდდდდ  
  


_Ajan Kloss_

The discussion alternated between laughter and more serious subjects. Several resistants passed to greet Rey. Poe threatened to chase Beaumont into the jungle if he mimicked to Rey his dance from last night. He hadn't realized that Rose was already doing it. Rey almost choked on laughter.

Rey's laughter was a breath of fresh air for her friends. She has been worrying them a lot lately and watching her laugh out loud Poe felt her chest lighten. They had made fun of themselves for nothing the other day at the picnic, he was sure. Everything was fine, Rey was fine, she was hiding nothing from them and she would be back soon and everything would be as before. Nevertheless the part of prudence which always slumbered in him whispered to him that it was nevertheless necessary to make sure of it.

"When you are there we will have to discuss, we have things to say to each other and it's too serious to say them by hologram."

"What are you--" Finn started before remembering: "Ah yes! I have something to say to you too but it can wait until you-- Rey are you listening to me?"

Rey 's hologram showed her head looking at something on her left, out of sight for Finn and Poe. She seemed completely surprised and incredulous.

"Rey are you all right? You make a funny face"

"Yes I-- I'm fine-- I just have t-- I'll get back to you later!"

"What ?! Wait, what's going on--"

She cut the call before he even finished his sentence. He looked at Finn then at Rose and Beaumont who had been alarmed by the end of the exchange. What was going on?

"Should we try to contact her again or are we sending someone directly?" asked Rose, who washolding her tablet ready to send an order.

Poe saw the streak in his head again: "She didn't seem in danger rather surprised. We will wait a little."

He notified Finn who seemed to be pondering. He hastened to explain, "I'm concentrating, maybe I'll feel something like during the battle."

They heard Chewie groan from the bottom of the cave: _This is not how the Force works!_

A clamor suddenly rose from the jungle, they saw certain companions appear running towards one of the landing zones.

"What is happening ?" Poe asked the AD-4M droid that managed the flows.

"Dreanna Conunda and Gandris Dyun have just come out of hyperspace and have asked for permission to land General." Replied the robot in his choppy metallic voice.

"Praise be to the creator" blessed C-3PO with raised arms and who hurried towards the crowd followed by R2-D2.

They all started running towards the area where two troop carriers were landing, eager to hear from them. A mission return, whatever it was, was always a moment apart: they were in communion with each other because they were coming back alive.

დდდდდდ

_Tatooine_

Rey listened to Poe and Finn tell her that they had things to tell her orally when she felt the feeling she hadn't felt for a month. The surrounding sounds vanished and disappeared, there was only silence around her. She knew this feeling, she had felt it first on Ahch-To and before each connection. She felt it when she shot him, when she accused him, when she saw him shirtless, when they touched each other's hands, when he begged her with a kneeling gaze, whenever he had confronted him, at each battle from a distance, when they had opened up to each other on Exegol ... Feeling it now could only mean one thing, something that was impossible ...

She had ended the conversation as best she could and had looked around. His heart had accelerated, he was hammering his chest to the point of hurting him. She found herself hoping with all her strength that it was true, it was completely crazy but she wanted to believe it ...

The silence was deafening, she felt a feeling of coldness and heaviness in the atmosphere and thought she saw blue flashes.

She took a deep breath:

"I know you're there"

"Show yourself"

"Ben"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Dragon design](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Arkanian_dragon/Legends)
> 
> [AD-4M](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/AD-4M)
> 
> [Cassy Algara](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Cassy_Algara)
> 
> [Comlink](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Comlink)
> 
> [Elna Zibsara](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Elna_Zibsara)
> 
> [Lieutenant Chireen](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Aarton_Chireen)
> 
> [Major Angon](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Fadros_Angon)
> 
> [Mon Mothma](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Mon_Mothma)
> 
> [Ormes Apolin](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Ormes_Apolin)
> 
> [Pacer Agoyo](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Pacer_Agoyo)
> 
> [Phenlass Sur](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Phenlass_Sur)
> 
> [Sabacc](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Sabacc)
> 
> [Seossra Thwisp](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Seossra_Thwisp)
> 
> [Shasa Zaro](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Shasa_Zaro)
> 
> [Shriv Suurgav](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Shriv_Suurgav)
> 
> [Teza Nasz](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Teza_Nasz)
> 
> [Vazzet Dipterz](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Vazzet_Dipterz)
> 
> [Yama Dex](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Yama_Dex)
> 
> [Yolo Ziff](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Yolo_Ziff)
> 
> [Zay Versio](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Zay_Versio)


	9. A taste of dust and hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find the heroes of the Resistance on a mission and that's good they go on Exegol ... where Ben, after leaving the World Between Worlds , is looking for a way to join Rey... 
> 
> The idea that she potentially returned to this planet she hated because she was no longer with him made him sick. He had been in her head, he knew how much she loved wet planets, the ocean, rivers, moss ...
> 
> He had to find her.
> 
> I will be there soon sweetheart, promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I warn you the chapter is really long.
> 
> Some details : Jess, Suralinda and Wedge move into what was Palpatine's lair only everything is destroyed so the place is quite different.
> 
> Fact Fun fact: I love Suralinda. She is super brave, resourceful with a lot of humor and badass. She reminds me a little of Han Solo but as a woman. I thought at one point that I would make Poe and she put themselves in a couple (they know each other very well, have had lots of missions together and greatly appreciate CF the whole comic series on Poe). Finally I gave up on the idea but it remains one of my favorite characters nonetheless
> 
> I imagined all the stressful part on Exegol with [this music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22N_Bw1CSM0) . Put on the music and imagine yourself in the place of the trio walking, blasters raised expecting to blow themselves up at any moment 😱
> 
> And during all the part with the pilots of the Resistance who flew away I had in my head [the march that composed John Williams](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueqKtype7Kk&feature=emb_title)

__

_Exegol_

__

The atmosphere was heavy and electric, lightning streaked the sky illuminating the Y-wing as well as the troop carrier.

Jessika Pava "Jess" was seriously starting to regret having agreed to participate in this mission. She wasn't superstitious but this place gave her goosebumps. Everything was sinister there: the confined and heavy atmosphere, the smell of ozone, the rock scree which continued to collapse in places. They had only arrived the day before and she already wanted to leave.

The rest of their team had landed a few kilometers to recover some debris that Dreanna and Gandris had not carried. Jess, Suralinda and Wedge had landed over a precipice after losing at sabacc. They had indeed played in order to decide which team would go to the "lair of the beast" as they called it. And obviously it fell on them.

Jess sighed for the hundredth time: why them? Being a member of the Black Squadron was definitely a magnet for danger. She glanced at her buddy Suralinda. She didn't seem the least intimidated by the place, in fact she seemed almost at ease, strolling while contemplating their environment for a long time. Jess wondered if she was taking notes for her future article.

Wedge had been silent throughout the flight, only responding with monosyllables when they contacted him by radio. They constantly kept an eye on him and what they saw worried them most. Wedge was already old and worn out by numerous fights and tortures when he agreed to join the Resistance but he wasn't his age and was still dynamic; in the space of a month he seemed to have aged ten years, his shoulders had hunched, new wrinkles had appeared on his forehead and at the corners of his mouth, he looked like a man whose life had taken everything and who hoped nothing more.

They approached the precipice, part of the opening was covered by a rock which was undoubtedly at the base covering the whole pit and hiding it thus but the rock was partly collapsed following the battle. They barely had room to walk with the rock that covered them, a larger resistant would have had his head rubbing. The opening was hollowed out regularly and formed a circle. You could see huge chains hanging down in the void and which at the base were to support a sort of platform that descended below.

Suralinda stamped: "Do you realize Jess ?! It's so exciting, we're going to be the only ones with Rey who have been here!"

"Exciting is not really the first word I had in mind ..."

"Oh come on! Don't be your spoiler! I can imagine the titles of the articles I'm going to write from here."

Suralinda waved her hand in the air as if she made a title appear before their eyes:

"Exegol: diving into hell Sith!", "Exegol: the fall of the Emperor", "Resistance: story of heroes!"

She surprised Jess who rolled her eyes:

"What ?! People love good stories! And that's what I do: I brag about the Resistance, I don't invent anything, I embellish! Nuance!"

She shook her mats impatiently: "As much as you are, you don't see that part of the functioning of the Resistance is based on the stories that we tell people! Without public relations work, no one would know that we let's fight for freedom, nobody would discover a vocation for our cause ... That's why I can't wait for the fighting to end! I can't wait to see the rest, I imagine that we will turn to the reconstruction of a Republic and I think my talents could really be useful for negotiations, for example. "

"It's all very well! Glad that you are so fulfilled in what you do that you forget what we are here for." called her to order Jess with a hint of sarcasm, pointing to Wedge's chin.

Suralinda accused the blow: "Sorry Wedge. I didn't mean-- I got carried away-- Please forgive my selfishness--"

Wedge reassured her with a wave of the hand: "Don't worry about me Suralinda please, it's nothing. I'm very grateful to you for having accompanied me so far."

Suralinda almost replied that they hadn't had much choice since Poe had ordered them as leader of the Black squadron and as leader of the Resistance. But part of her knew it wasn't true, she would have offered to accompany him anyway. Although she had been in the squadron for less time than the other members, she had been a member long enough to have gotten to know and appreciate Snap. He was a good companion, always on the go, watching over the others, a kind of big brother, an aviation ace. She would always remember the advice he had given her, it was etched in her memory forever. She saw his face so round and smiling, especially when he was with his wife Karé. These two there with their marriage had brought an enchanted parenthesis in the torments of the Resistance. They were so touching to watch when they were together. We were secretly sentimental in the Resistance and many envied the couple's happiness. But now ... Suralinda shook her head, Karé was a friend too and seeing her like that haunted her nights.

She glanced at Jess. Her teammate was good at keeping her feelings for her, but she knew her enough to know that she too was devastated by Snap's death. She had surprised her on the base several times near the planes, her eyes reddened and puffy with tears.

They were here by choice, to help a friend, a husband who regarded Snap as his own son.

"I know we won't find anything," Wedge sighed. "I haven't lost my mind to this point. I just want to feel useful and do something. At least in Norra's eyes ..."

Norra, the intrepid, the warrior, the stubborn now mother ravaged and weeping. She too seemed to have aged ten years ...

Suralinda ran a hand over her back. Wedge thanked her with a chin movement, there was no need for words, he knew how much Snap meant to them.

Suralinda continued:"So... How do we go down? Because I would not like to say but there are like what would say a good thirty meters before touching the ground ..."

"With this!" Wedge had abseiling harnesses in hand coupled with motorized ropes which he waved under their noses. "We go down and the engine will go up. Simple and fast."

Jess looked at the device with suspicion:

"I don't really trust the solidity of the rock. It seems very fragile to me with everything that fell on it."

Suralinda cautiously advanced to the edge of the opening:

"It should hold: it'ss about thirty centimeters thick."

Jess still didn't look convinced.

"What ?! You are not going to tell me that you are afraid of the void ?! You are a combat pilot!"

Jess made a face at her, Wedge stepped between them:

"I'll go down first, hopefully you can follow."

Jess and Suralinda exchanged an imperceptible glance: if Wedge fell they would have failed miserably in their mission.

Wedge scrutinized them: "I may be old but I'm not stupid, I know very well that you are there in memory of Snap but I suppose that you were asked to watch over me too? Am I wrong?"

They shook their heads.

"Who? Norra or Poe?

"Poe," replied Jess. She paused and confessed "After Norra begged him"Wedge nodded, "I lived a long, busy life. I was never bored at all. I lived in the heat of the moment. I was at the end of my dreams. I regret only one thing: the death of my friends. Each time I felt like a part of me went with them to the stars. I finally experienced happiness with my wif,e had a family. My life is behind me now but yours is before you! That's why I would go down first, to assess the stability of the ground. "

Wedge's voice was firm and he didn't give them much choice. He hung his rope on a rock and began to retreat to the precipice.

He looked over his shoulder at the precipice: "Well, this is the moment of truth."

He flexes his legs, ready to jump into the void. "Hey Suralinda ?! No writing that I crashed like a vulgar Hutt ..."

Suralinda sneered and he darted into the void, the motorized rope bringing him down slowly.

They watched him descend, watching the rope and the surroundings, attentive to the slightest noises that could signal a break in the rock, ready to try to reassemble it at the slightest problem.

After what seemed to them forever, Wedge's distant, muffled voice reached them:

"Everything is fine! Now it's your turn!"

Suralinda let Jess pass in order to ease her stress. Then she followed. She let herself fall into the void, all her senses alert, writing down every tiny detail in her memory for her next articles. She had enough material for several weeks.

The descent seemed much faster when we were doing it, it was soon down, received by Wedge and Jess.

Wedge untied his climbing harness: "Let us leave them here, they will hinder us in our movements. They will not move, we will recover them when we return."

"How are we going to get back here? We only have plans from the surface, not from the inside." 

Jess pointed out, who seemed to be struggling to recover from her emotions.

Wedge explored their surroundings with a look: "At first I think we can be content to move forward in a straight line. But in case of doubt I think we can trust the brightness: it's brighter here. "

They began to advance among the rubble, Wedge at the head. Everything was in ruins, there was nothing intact: debris of all kinds piled up everywhere making their progress difficult. They stopped from time to time to check if they could recover electrical components but overall everything was in too bad condition.

It was getting darker and darker as they advanced and soon they had to get out of the light sticks to light up.

Suralinda was still so excited, she had found remains of what must have been the face of a gigantic statue. She began to sketch on a small notebook that would later be used for virtual illustrations.

"It's incredible! It must have been so impressive! The statue must have been almost 20 meters long! I would ask Beaumont he could probably tell me more!

She almost hopped on the spot: "This article is going to be so epic! I FEEL IT!"

A sudden noise made them jump, they instantly drew their blasters. Suralinda for good measure had one in each hand. She sneaked closer to her companions, and they stood back to back.

"What was _that_ ?" asked Jess in a low voice.

"I don't know," Suralinda growled. "Wedge ! Your opinion ! Where did it come from?"

"From there." Wedge indicated with his chin an area on the left that they had not yet explored.

Suralinda nodded towards the area in question:

 _Let's go ?_ They replied with signs:

_Cover your backs_

They advanced slowly,ina triangle, slightly bent legs, ready to fire if necessary. One hand on the light stick, another on the blaster. They communicated by sign: _look here, there, wait, attention..._

"I don't like it" ends up whispering Jess. "I feel like we're being watched."

"Keep calm, now is not the time to lose your temper." grated Suralinda between his teeth.

"Do you have any idea what it was?" asked Wedge.

"I don't know, anyway it didn't look like falling rock" mumbled Jess.

"It looked more like something electric to me," added Suralinda.

Suddenly a communicator began to beep, breaking the silence suddenly. Jess jumped aside with a cry, Suralinda swore and looked at his communicator strapped to his wrist, it was not hers that beeped but that of Wedge.

He accepted the transmission, a voice immediately resounded: "Hey Wedge can you hear me? Here Wipolo."

Wedge put his wrist to her mouth: "We hear you! What's up?"

"Nothing special, we continue loading. How about you? How's it going? Interesting stuff?"

Wedge glanced at his teammates, Jess was breathing heavily, one hand on her heart, Suralinda didn't seem to be having any fun anymore. _Interesting stuff? So much..._

"Nothing in particular, there is not much to see" he replied carefully. 

Wipolo seemed disappointed: "Ha ok ... we keep up to date then. Out"

"Out."

Jess looked at Wedge, startled: "We should have warned them! We should go back to where we left the harnesses and go up!"

Wedge shook her head, "Not necessarily. We just heard a noise, we'll wait and advise."

"Matter of not becoming the laughing stock of the base." added Suralinda who seemed to have regained his senses.

"We didn't invent this noise anyway! It didn't come by itself!" annoyed Jess.

Wedge leaned over to examine something on the ground: "It could be an energy decompression in the form of lightning: there have been electrical devices here."

Jess pouted, unconvinced.

She was about to answer when a noise was heard behind them. A kind of scratching ...

Jess, out of nerves opened fire, screaming. Suralinda followed, firing from her two blasters.

"Enough! Enough!" Wedge howled to be heard over the noise of the grapeshot.

They lowered their blasters, confused.

"Do you think you got it?" asked Wedge sarcastically. "Look at yourself! Ready to shoot anything! And you Suralinda shoot with both hands when you aren't even ambidextrous! You could hurt someone!"

"I'm training," mumbled she. "Zorii gives me advice and I -"

"Zorii is not here to help us, so _please_ do me a favor to put away your left blaster! And get your bearings! It's just rock falling for heaven's sake! "

He waited for them to calm down then they returned to position, recommencing their progress.

"I'm sure it wasn't rock." murmured Jess to Suralinda softly so Wedge wouldn't hear.

"For once, I agree with you." whispered Suralinda back.

"This place gives me goosebumps, it's hard to breathe." complained Jess.

"Take a deep breath, it will pass." reassured Suralinda.

Too proud to admit to Jess, she herself no longer felt so comfortable: the heavy and stuffy atmosphere weighed on her more and more and the reduced visibility did nothing to help.

_What would I not give to be quietly on Ajan writing my article with a cup of caf ..._

დდდდდდ

_Still on Exegol_

It was almost there, the rock behind which he had hidden a moment before was now disintegrated.

He watched them walk away with relief, and rested his head against the rock and blew a good blow while straining his ear just in case.

He had flipped through the portal, no doubt pushed by his grandfather, he was ready to bet it, and had suddenly found himself on Exegol, as it seemed to be the place where he had died. At least that's what he thought, he wasn't entirely sure: there was a lot more rubble. The gate closed with the sound of suction. And everything was silent.

He had stood up and looked around, his survival instincts had taken over instantly: he had seen people through the portal, they could be nearby and he did not know who they were.

He noticed a particularly massive rock and ran to hide behind. He camouflaged himself as best he could, hoping that darkness would do the rest.

He sat on the watch. He felt the Force in him but weakly. Where he once felt a torrent of energy that surrounded and guided him, he now only felt a current wave.

 _You will have to train a lot and meditate,_ they said. Except that it was neither the place nor the time.

He reached for a heap of small rocks. He concentrated with all his might, trying to redirect the Force towards the minerals in order to lift them from the ground. He concentrated, biting his lower lip. Nothing happened. He started again, pushing harder toward his goal. Finally, little by little the smallest stones started to rise a few centimeters, trembling.

He dropped his hand, he had pushed too far and too fast, he felt drained again. He hated feeling so weak, it drove him crazy, he who had been so strong in the past ...

_Damn it!_

Without the Force it would be complicated. _Very complicated..._

And he didn't even have a weapon. _Better and better..._

He looked around carefully for anything he could use.

It was when he saw an iron bar a few paces from him that he heard them. He curled up as best he could. From the corner of his eye he saw them arrive, blasters raised, walking in a triangle.

Three in all, one man and two women. They seemed to be talking to each other but it was too far away for him to hear anything.

Ben tried to extend his right leg as quietly as possible to reach the iron bar. It was a paltry weapon against blasters but it was better than nothing.

Something began to beep frantically, Ben curled up suddenly, convinced he had been discovered. The screams and curses of the two women only increased his doubts. He closed his eyes, expecting to be exposed at all times. He was ready to pounce and fight with bare hands if necessary.

He had neglected his close combat training, still preferring to rely on the Force. And the consequences of this lack of seriousness had been seen against the Knights of Ren: if Rey had not intervened it would not have lasted long. And yet he mastered the Force at that time. He dared not imagine what it would be like now that he had extremely limited control.

But something was different, he now had a goal in life: to join Rey and make a clean sweep of the past. We had given him a new chance, it was unexpected and he didn't intend to let it fly away like that.

_Rey ..._

He tried not to think too much about her right now so as not to become distracted. She was his light at the end of the road, his star, but he still had to come out of this quagmire alive.

As no blaster hit came, he risked a quick glance: the man had taken the call and was chatting with a teammate. Apparently it was about loading material.

They were perhaps smugglers or traffickers in electrical equipment who roamed the battlefields to recover the equipment which was in good condition in order to resell it. Ben looked more closely at the two women, one of them was a squamatan and she seemed vaguely familiar. He searched his memories, it seemed to him that he had seen her profile during a meeting with the intelligence services of the First Order. Officer Kandia was responsible for scrolling through the various wanted persons and reporting on what was known about them in order to set up capture missions. He remembered having seen the squamatan profile pass in the midst of many others. He didn't remember much, but it seemed to him that there had been talk of espionage.

If she was of the Resistance then her companions too. It made sense: the Resistance had to send teams to search the rubble and recover what was still usable.

He tried to project the Force to them to assess their emotions. Generally he could easily analyze the person in front of him, a bit like it was an open book, but currently he felt almost nothing. He just figured out that the suqamatan's partner was particularly stressed, the squamatan seemed nervous. The man meanwhile expressed a deep aura of sadness.

Failing to use the Force to find out what was going on, he listened. The stressed girl was going after the older man. Apparently she wanted to tell the rest of the team what the man and the squamatan were disputing. For them the noise they had heard was not that alarming.

 _Noise?_ Ben understood that it was the sound of the portal closing which they had heard.

 _Shit_. From the little he had managed to get out of them he suspected that they would not be very friendly if he showed up now.

He tried to reach the iron bar again. He succeeds after a few contortions.

But as he was about to take it in hand, one end scraped on the ground and made a perfectly audible creak. He stopped.

_And shit, this time I'm good ..._

He threw himself face down on the ground as screams rang out and a blast of blasters fell on the rock behind which his head was still a few seconds before.

Other screams came to be added. Apparently the man who appeared to be the team leader was trying to get a ceasefire.

There followed a long mercurial from him towards the two girls, reproaching them for shooting anything but to Ben's surprise, none of them came to check if there was indeed something behind what was left rock.

He heard them walking away.

He was thinking at full speed, he didn't have much time in front of him. He had to get out of here at all costs. He couldn't abandon Rey again. Just the idea that he couldn't get it right for her made him panic again.

_Rey ..._

He tried to feel her through the Force. He barely felt her, a sign of the physical distance between them or that he was still weak in the Force. A bit of both probably.

An idea crossed his head, it was probably stupid considering his current control of the Force but to the point where it was ...

_Rey_

He tried to reach him through their link in the Force as they had done before confronting the Emperor. If he could let her know where he was it was won!

He still couldn't believe this incredible chance to share such a strong bond with Rey, it was just for them and not because of Snoke, the Emperor or anyone else. The Force wanted it that way, they were a dyad, they were made for each other.

He thought of all this while he tried to reach Rey where she was. He thought of everything she meant to him, his past, his present and his future. Without her he was nothing. The effort made him bite the bullet and he felt like he was dying again.

_Rey_

_REY_

He felt that the ambient noises of Exegol were vanishing, he could only hear his own breathing and the beating of his heart.

A warm light made him blink, before him lay a room that looked like a kitchen. The walls were made of stone-like resin, a construction typically seen in desert planets.

And she ... She was there in front of him, communicating by hologram with someone via a tablet. Resistance, no doubt.

He made a surprised, strangled, breathless sound, surprised to have succeeded.

 _Force_ he missed her so much. His heart almost came out of her chest, she was so beautiful: her skin golden with the sun, her adorable little buns. He wanted to reach out to touch them and see if her hair was as soft as he remembered.

She finally realizes that their connection has reopened. She turned her head towards him, she seemed amazed, her magnificent hazel eyes widened with surprise. She was looking right and left at full speed seeming to seek an explanation for the situation.

And then :

"I know you're there"

"Show yourself"

"Ben"

Hearing her call him made his heart leap and as he was about to answer him, the bond broke at this very moment, the Force suddenly disappearing. The second before Ben looked blissfully at Rey in the heat of a desert and the next moment he was again in the cold and heavy universe of Exegol.

"Shit !" he swore aloud.

Those few minutes had asked him for so much concentration and effort that he was completely breathless, sweaty as if he had been running for long minutes. He saw a little blurry, a whistling sound rang in his ears.

It didn't work, it wasn't strong enough to make the connection last long enough. He had wasted time contemplating his wonderful Rey. Perhaps that had been enough, but he doubted it, Rey had only seen it for a fraction of a second.

This desert ... had she returned to Jakku? The idea that she potentially returned to this planet she hated because she was no longer with him made him sick. He had been in her head, he knew how much she loved wet planets, the ocean, rivers, moss ...

He had to find her.

Ben rubbed his eyes, trying to think. He was going to have to find another way out of this hell.

_Hold on..._

Hadn't the Resistance member talked about loading? _Yes.._. There were three of them so there were at least two planes. And if they had come to try to recover debris they had come with at least one freighter.

If he could slip inside ... It was pure madness, he would find himself in the very heart of the Resistance. He knew he would face them one day but he needed Rey by his side and for that he had to find out where she was. His friends surely knew it. It was not yet time for settling of scores.

But what other choice did he have? No. Besides being starved here trying to contact Rey.

His decision was made.

He grabbed the iron bar, peeked over the rocks to see if the way was clear, and he started to run.

He ran as quickly and as silently as possible in the direction in which he had seen them arrive.

Quickly he realized he was headed for the light.

He found himself near a cliff, dominated by a large circular opening. He recognized the area through which he had entered, but the stone tray which descended to the ground had been pulverized, there was only a part of the enormous chains which held it.

He notices that motorized lines hung down to the ground. So that was how they got off.

He didn't ask himself a question, he put on one of the harnesses as quickly as he could, expecting at any time to see them appear.

The last Skywalker began its ascent. He had the impression that it was not going fast enough but he ended up reaching the top of the opening. He hoisted himself carefully, hoping that the rock would not give way.

He removed his harness and swung it over the edge so they could find it when they returned.

_No suspicion._

He ran under the rock, it was so big that it almost touched the ceiling. He finally reached the open air and breathed deeply, the atmosphere was lighter and confined.

He saw a Y-wing and a troop carrier YC-123B.

He approached the freighter and actuated the lowering handle of the landing gates. He rushed inside, still checking that no one was arriving.

Inside the neon lights were automatically lit thanks to the presence detectors.

He scanned the interior. There were toilets but it was not an ideal hiding place, they would for sure be discovered. The freighter was of Corelian invoice. From his experience he knew that this kind of vessel was massive enough to have a space between the wall and the metal plating. Generally the manufacturers made pass certain cables in this space. There should be enough space to slip into it.

He ran his hand over the walls looking for a drop. He felt that the Force was still guiding him. He finally arrived in front of a panel, he pulled on it and the panel opened revealing a sort of narrow corridor which ran along the sides of the aircraft.

He slipped inside gently, taking care to reclip the wall behind him. It was completely dark inside. As his eyes got used to the darkness he saw the thick electric cables.

He turned on his own and tried to sit on the floor.

He just had to wait.

_I will be there soon sweetheart, promised._

დდდდდდ

_Ajan Kloss_

R5-2JE gave the start order to the various droids of the Black and Stiletto squadrons. The ship launched one after the other with more or less order.

At the foot of Black One Poe, Finn and Rose were having a last-minute chat. Finn and Rose had insisted on escorting him to wish him luck.

R2-D2 was already in its compartment and was running the X-wing engines and checking that all the lights and controls were operational.

Poe was going to climb into his cockpit when Finn held him by the arm and hugged him:

"Watch out, Dameron!"

"Hey relax dude! It's going to be fine! It's just a routine mission! No need to worry!"

Finn nodded and freed himself from their embrace, uneasy. Rose approached with a smile and hugged Poe briefly against her.

"Good luck !"

Poe waved them and climbed into the cockpit. The dome closed gently.

"Can we go buddy?"

R2-D2 whistled affirmatively.

R5-2JE indicated to him that he had the free way to take off.

Poe positioned himself in the axis and accelerated, he felt flattened in his seat as he rose from the ground.

He savored this moment: it had been weeks since he had set foot in a cockpit and he had been sorely missed.

He took the opportunity to make some aerial figures handling the handle with flexibility and precision.

Flying was like a drug, it was addicting, once you got used to it, it was difficult and painful to give it up.

But he was not there to do aerobatics, he tore himself away with regret at the contemplation of the dawn which colored the clouds in magnificent shades of roses and orange.

He activated the communication channels: one for his astromechnician, one for his squadron and a common one for the other squadrons.

"Black squadron present yourself!"

Almost immediately voices answered:

"Black Three standing by!" Bencl rato

"Black Five, standing by!" Clmaam Torars

"Black Six, standing by!" Eraure

"Black Seven, standing by!" Erwdewau

"Black Eight, standing by!" Deware Plle

They were all there, Black Two and For were Jess and Suralinda when they flew in X-wings.

"Very well, here Black Leader. We are waiting for the Stiletto squadron and the transporter."

A communication from the Stiletto squadron arrived precisely on the canal:

"Black Leader here Stiletto Leader . We're ready on our side!"

"We are waiting for the transporter and here we go!"

"He is taking off" announces Karé.

A few minutes later they were all in orbit ready to jump into hyperspace.

"R2-D2 calculates the coordinates for the jump and sends a message to General Calrissian. Tell him that we are leaving and that we will be there normally in less than two standard hours."

Poe watched Shriv shift the transporter to light speed and ordered the other X-wings to follow.

He was the last to pass at light speed, he felt his environment stretching around him in white and blue beams, the inimitable signature of the jump in hyperspace and he finds himself sinking with his comrades in a bluish tunnel.

Finn watched the devices disappear one after the other, an arm raised before his eyes to protect them from the blinding light of the sunrise.

He then returned to the main cave and sat down near the consoles and monitors indicating the aircraft on mission and their trajectories. In the absence of Poe he was the highest ranking officer, so he had to be present.

He tried to relax knowing that he had about two hours of beat before they contacted them to announce their arrivals on Orinda. Any early contact would be to report a problem.

Finn listened vaguely to the technicians explaining to him in detail what land was going to be mowed and prepared for the arrival of the new ships.

All his thoughts were on Poe. Since the pressure had eased a bit he had had a little more time to put his feelings in order. It only confirmed what he had known for a little over a year.

He loved Poe.

He loved his laughter, his humor, his kindness, his courage, the fact that he was always ready to move the sky for a solution. More than once he had almost confessed to him. He had explained it to Rose when they had quietly discussed what had happened between them and the young woman had been delighted for him, urging him to speak to Poe. But Finn was afraid his feelings weren't mutual and the situation between them would get weird.

Poe and Zorii were bickering all the time and the rumor in the camp was that they were getting back together. Finn wished his friend the best even if it meant he was with someone else.

His little ray of hope was Rose assuring her that Zorii was not interested.

It was hard to hold on to the chagrin of Larma and Kaydel who looked at him with exasperation and sighed loudly to show him their annoyance.

At the end of Larma's third pissed off throat clearing, Rose intervened:

"What puts you in such a state? Don't You worry so much about Poe?"

"No-- well yes! A little! All our pilots are in the same place, it would be enough for something to go wrong and they will all be--"

Finn does not finish his sentence, swallowing his words for fear that they will bear bad luck.

Rose shook her head, sympathetic: "General Calrissian and Jannah's team have been there for several days and they told us that everything was fine. We can trust them! In a few hours they will be back."

Finn grumbled but finally agreed.

Larma looked at him with an incisive eye:

"Wouldn't it also be because it's the first time you've had to manage the base alone?"

Finn sketched a semblance of a smile:

"You pierced me up to date."

"Knowing how to manage situations is learned a lot in the heat of the moment you will see. The qualities that make a good leader are authority, the ability to lead his troops, have a long-term vision and a sense of anticipation. Most of them you already have, you just need experience. 

""Hmm ... Thank you I guess." Finn didn't seem really reassured.

He tried to find something to do, but there had been nothing new since the meeting the day before. His mind drifted and he thought back to Rey and the bizarre way in which their conversation had ended. His worries about her surfaced, he felt a form of discomfort. Even though she contacted them later to tell them that everything was fine and that she must have fixed a problem with leaking vaporators, he still had an alarming impression about it.

He listened to Dreanna and Gandris report their mission on Exegol. After returning the day before, they were treated to a full check-up by Doctor Kalonia and his assistant Twylope Nur. Given the events that had occurred in Exegol and that the Resistance had no idea what the Sith were conducting on the planet, it had indeed been decided that anyone who went on a mission to Exegol should check up medical on its return as well as a detailed return of the mission.

The doctor had deemed them fit for service and had only recommended putting them on oxygen for a few hours so that their lungs could recover from the special atmosphere of Exegol.They hadn't encountered any particular problems, they just hadn't felt comfortable. According to them, the planet was agonizing and anxious.

 _No wonder_ Finn thought. _Who knows what the Sith tampered with below ..._

His feeling of uneasiness not subsiding, he turned to Rose. She was working on detailed blaster cuts, visibly trying to change the way it worked for more efficiency. She had headphones on her ears and Finn knew it was to keep listening to Leia's memories while working.

Rose looked up and met Finn's gaze, she smiled at him and removed one of her earphones:

"I feel like she's always with me like this. I almost expect to see her spinning around the corner of the cave with a cup of gatalentan tea in her hands. How would you like to listen with me ? She has a soothing voice ... "

Finn knew she was implying that it might help to calm him down and was grateful to her.

"Where are you at?" he asked her as she tried to extend the helmet to the maximum of its width to contain their two heads.

"Oh not far away. She described for hours Alderaan, her life as a little girl, her parents. There I just started the very beginning of the Rebellion."

Finn put the headphones on his ears as best he could, his head pressed against Rose's so he could both listen.

_My father once asked me--_

Finn closed his eyes and let himself be rocked by Leia's soothing voice. Rose was right, he was oddly more serene and relaxed. He could have stayed like this for hours if a light on the communication platform had not started to flash green. Someone was trying to contact the base.

He saw Kaydel enter the combination and open the connection on their secure channel for the person who also knew the combination.

Finn approached again tense. Good or bad news ? He mentally went around the different possibilities. They awaited reports of espionage but generally they contacted Beaumont and his acolytes directly; there was then Charth the son of Ambassador Yendor who was to return with his friends but he should not have arrived normally for several days or even weeks until the situation on Ryloth stabilized; the most logical was that it was Colonel Aftab Ackbar who was trying to contact them, he was still trying to regain control of his planet and now that Finn thought the lack of news on his side was rather worrying.

But it was not the colonel's voice that sounded:

"Here Wedge"

Finn huffed, relieved: "Greetings, Commander! How are things with you? Nothing to report?"

"Hello General. Overall fine."

Finn said, "Overall?"

"Well let's say we had some scares ..."

"That is to say ?"

"The place is quite unstable and between the rock falls and the atmospheric discharges we had a few moments of jitters, we thought we heard noises or that we were observed ... this kind of thing."

However, Wedge's tone did not reassure Finn:

"You're fine ?"

"That's part of why I'm contacting you. We discovered something. Something huge."

Kaydel, Larma and Rose, who listened with one ear only while continuing their tasks, let go of everything and approached the console, intrigued .

"We separated with the rest of the team, they left to recover what Dreanna and Gandris could not take and we headed for - the cave - the lair-- I don't know how to call it. "

"Keep going"

"We rummaged around everywhere, the place that Rey described to us is largely in ruins but we ended up finding access doors hidden in the rock. We managed to slip behind and we found in corridors dug in the rock and which sink into the heart of the planet. We turned back after a while when we found elevators but I have the impression that there is all a city buried under the rock and what we saw is only the tip of the complex. "

 _Obviously._ Finn curses himself for not having thought about it earlier: The Emperor didn't just live in a giant arena.

"I think that before we set foot in there we need a full scan of the area in order to have a three-dimensional view of what lies ahead. This is to avoid unnecessarily endangering lives . "

"I don't know if a planet-wide scan has already been done and if it's even technically feasible," said Finn.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw that Rose was already thinking about the question.

He turned his attention back to the conversation:

"Very well, commander, we're on the spot. Anything else?"

"Yes. I think we have to go back to the base. Already we are of no use without the scans and we would risk putting ourselves in danger while trying to explore the area. And I feel like Jess and Suralinda are not going to last very long. "

"What do you mean ?"

"Jess was already on edge when we arrived, completely stressed and the environment ... toxic and unhealthy of Exegol doesn't help the situation. Not to mention the false alarms that put us under pressure. Jess is completely anxious to the point of opening fire at the slightest noise and Suralinda let herself be won. "

Finn put the call on hold and turned to the others, almost in panic:

"What do I do? What do I do?"

It was the first time that he had to make a decision as important as stopping a mission on his own. Usually that kind of decision was made by Poe. At that precise moment he no longer knew if he was up to his rank.

Larma looked at him severely: "It's up to you."

Kaydel held her hands tight in front of her, imitating unwittingly the late General Organa: "Weigh the pros and cons."

It was from Rose that the most precious advice came to him: "Whatever your decision, it will be the right one as long as you fully assume it."

Finn took a deep breath and reactivated the conversation: "Go back Commander! You don't have to stay longer, especially if it's to be in contempt of your mental health."

"Copy that I pass on to others! Done!"

The indicator went out. Larma turned to Finn, a sincere smile on his lips: "Congratulations General on your baptism by fire."

Finn thanked her with a quick nod, lost in thought. He looked at the stopwatch on the console, everyone should be up by now.

"Summon the high command present. Immediately."

Kaydel immediately tapped on her tablet while Rose was sending messages to the communicators on her engineering and technical team.

They arrived at a rush, each having felt the urgency in the code that Kaydel had used.

Finn made a brief report. Maz didn't seem more surprised than that: "The Sith have always been extremely forward-looking, so it's not surprising. It might even be interesting, especially if there is data to exploit."

"I agree." approved Commander Gartfran. "No one other than us can access Exegol, there must be archives somewhere. It would allow us to have a global vision of the work that we have to do to rid the galaxy of these vermin."

They noisily approved.

"The lists of personnel, vessels, contacts, bank accounts and so on ..." enumerated Beaumont.

Finn raised his hands in the air trying to calm the spirits that were heating up with speculation:

"We already need to develop a scan capable of making an internal topography of the planet."

"We're going to work on Finn," announced Rose. "I don't want to go too far but with my team I think it's possible to modify the principle of com-scan in order to be able to place it on small aircraft models and to increase the detection power."

Finn raised his thumbs up: "Great! You do that! For everyone, whatever your tasks, I ask you to make yourself available to Rose and her team. And if she doesn't need you , double work in your objectives so that we move forward as quickly as possible. The stars alone know what the Emperor has yet concocted for us! "

დდდდდდ

_Fondor_

They left hyperspace above the planet Fondor without incident. The trip had seemed short which was often the case when we spent it talking between pilots.

R2-D2 hissed appreciatively.

"Yes, it's beautiful, isn't it?" replied Poe who admired the beautiful planet with purplish reflections.

A robotic voice was heard through the communication channel:

_Welcome to the aeronautical area of Fondor, please state your identity and the reason for your visit._

"Here General Dameron of the Resistance fleet on an official mission. We are expected by General Calrissian who is one of your hosts."

 _One moment please_. Heckling was heard on the other side of the line then a deep voice was heard:

"Hello General Dameron here General Calrissian did you have a good trip?"

"Hello General, no problem and you on your side?"

"No complaints! I am sending you the coordinates of the main aeronautical port. It is near the shipyard on the outskirts of the capital. We will meet there!"

"Copy that ! Out!"

Poe transferred the coordinates to the general communication channel.

The aeronautical port was a vast structure with a military aspect with numerous runways and reception buildings all around.

Poe enjoyed landing on a real runway for the first time from the D'Qar base.

A welcoming committee awaited them. Leading,General Calrissian, Jannah and his team. Then came several officials.

The pilots exchanged hugs with the Lando team, it was good to meet again!

Lando introduced Poe to the officials: there was the provisional government established since the fall of the First Order as well as representatives of the shipyards. They all bowed to the pilots, thanking them warmly for their help.

A local band played in their honor. We invited them to a buffet dinner because as one of their host specified to him "General Calrissian declined our offer to invite you to a big banquet, he argued that you should return to your homework."

Poe silently thanked Lando: "Indeed your Excellency, moreover, we would be hard pressed to celebrate when there are still so many oppressed systems."

"Certainly certainly." politely approved his host.

Poe tried to be particularly diplomatic and pleasant trying to reproduce what he had seen Leia do many times. He answered their questions as best he could, giving enough information to please them but information that was particularly elusive.

 _Diplomacy is a game of dupes_ Leia had taught him. _Like sabacc ..._

He succeeded so well that after an hour of open discussion, the head of government begged Poe to accept a few more ships in thanks.

Finally at the end of what seemed an eternity, they left in small vehicles in the direction of an area away from the yards where were parked many planes of all models with their astromechanics. Poe saw out of the corner of his eye his pilots stamping on the spot and hastened to thank their hosts for their generous gifts lest one of them commit a blunder. They replied that it was quite natural and that Fondor was eternally indebted to them.

Poe discreetly drew Lando's attention:

"Is it me or our hosts are too welcoming?"

He was particularly wary of people who smiled too much, life had taught him that there was nothing more treacherous.

"Maybe or maybe not. We have been there for several days and I think they are sincere."

He lowered his voice, whispering: "Besides, I personally supervised the review of planes and droids. There will be no unpleasant surprises: they are new and nothing is hidden inside."

Poe, relieved, waved to the other pilots who tried not to rush too much towards the planes.

The next couple of hours were spent assigning devices and droids. Their hosts reserved a big surprise for them: as "a few more planes" it was nothing more than a baleen-class heavy freighter filled with ammunition from the garrisons of defeated troopers, blasters, electronic equipment and additional X-wings.

Stunned by so much generosity Poe began by refusing but the head of government Irgris Voilatea put his hand on his arm, his eyes pleading: "I lost my son, he was executed by Kylo Ren in person when he was had done nothing; the occupation of our planet was particularly painful but we deserved it somewhere, we refused to help you and we paid a high price for it. And despite this, since the defeat of the First Order you are came to our rescue and delivered us. We cannot thank you enough. Please accept these ships. "

The man had tears in his eyes and seemed sincere. Poe sincerely thanked him:

"I hope we will see each other again. We will continue to liberate the systems but at the same time we will increase our efforts on the political scene in order to be able to reform a Republic."

"We have heard about it, in particular that the planet Naboo has stood by your side. It's a good thing, this planet has always been particularly important in the history of the galaxy." Irgris nodded. "Fondor will be happy to join you in trying not to repeat the mistakes of the past."

"We will keep you posted when more of us are working on the subject."

He bowed one last time and apologized to join the pilots.

"What happened to his son?" he asked Jannah who was accompanying him to the transporter.

"Last year when you went looking for spare parts and they refused to help you, it drew the attention of the First Order to them. His son was in charge of the construction sites and he was brought before Kylo Ren. No matter how much he swore to him that you rejected him, that was enough to convict that Fondor have links with you. He executed him on the spot and ordered immediate occupation. to have control over more and more shipyards. " Jannah made a disgusted noise.

"What a junk ..." Poe whispered, clenching his fists.

"I don't think there is a word to describe what he did. But would you be surprised if I told you he wasn't the worst?"

"What do you mean?" Poe was shocked.

"We hardly ever saw him, we knew nothing about him, just that it was better not to upset him. We discussed among ourselves, the main decisions were made by the Generals who then reported to him. He spent his time with his demon knights and doing his witchcraft stuff. At least that was how it was while we were still there. He was a monster but the generals I encountered were just as bad if not worse. "

Poe nodded thoughtfully.

A small group had formed near the baleen transporter.

"You have to find him a name don't you think?" asked one of the Duncan twins. "We are not going to continue to call it the _baleen_."

Names fused: _the Intrepid, the Fiery, the Indomitable, the Organa, the Ogre ..._

"And why not the _Snap_?" Proposed Poe, watching for Karé's reaction.

The latter turned her head quickly towards him, her eyes clouded again with tears.

The name was immediately approved: "Long live the _Snap_!"

"Who's going to pilot it?" asked Pacer Agoyo. "Has anyone ever piloted something this big?"

"It's not that complicated," Zorii replied, advancing with her squadron. "It has a fairly simple operation, it's not a combat aircraft but a transport of goods."

"Can you do it please?" Poe offered, crossing her fingers so she wouldn't send him out for a walk.

Zorii seemed to weigh the pros and cons then finally she decided: "I have already piloted a machine of this kind, it should do it. Globa are you coming with me?"

One of the bounty hunters under Zorii's orders stepped forward and followed her inside to be his co-pilot.

Lando clapped in his hands: "Well, youth, are we going?"

The start was a bit chaotic: everyone now had a device and a droid of his own that he had to tame and in addition he had to organize a squadron.

To wait, Poe contacted the base to warn them that it was necessary to provide a lot larger than expected to park the planes.

"Finn? It's Poe. We're leaving. You can breathe, everything went well!"

"How do you know I've been snorkeling all this time?" At the sound of Finn's voice, Poe knew that the young man had smiled and stopped laughing.

"Buddy I know you ..."

He heard Rose laugh in the background.

"Warn the cyclorrians and the Sur that there will have to be room for fighter planes and for a baleen-class transporter."

"Huh ?! What is this thing?"

"Ask Rose she knows all types of ships."

There was a moment of silence then exclamations rang out:

"The cow !"

"No the baleen" humorously corrected Poe.

On the other side Finn was laughing out loud and he wasn't alone. Poe thought he could make out Larma's somewhat stuck laugh.

"And also tell Lieutenant Chireen, Junn Gobint and Huper Tenrecs. The transporter is crammed with crates of weapons, ammunition, explosives and so on ... Additional gifts from our new allies."

"And who is driving this monster?"

"The _Snap_? Oh uh-- Zorii," replied Poe, scratching his throat.there was a time of silence then:

"Rose and Kaydel tell me to tell you Poe that you have an interest in fixing the situation with her. Seriously dude if you don't, seen their eyes it will break loosefor you ..."

Finn whispered into the microphone, "What happened, by the way?"

Poe scratched his throat again: "I lacked tact and uh-- she-- she has a strong character. I don't know how to take her, with our unexpected reunion, it's pretty-- delicate."

"It made me the same with Rose when we decided to stop there, there were several weeks of floating between the two of us, we didn't really know how to act towards each other. In fact dude, you must already know what YOU want. "

"Since when did you become my sentimental advisor?" teased Poe

"Since you were my brother," Finn hailed back. "On a more serious note, Wedge contacted us, I would give you a detailed return but I asked them to come back."

"What ?! Are they all right?" Alarmed, Poe immediately thought of Wedge.

"A priori yes. We take stock later? Do not worry too much!"

"Okay, see you later."

He cut the connection and despite Finn's recommendations he was worried. He barely heard R2-D2 beep when it was their turn to take off. Indeed the Snap had taken off followed by the carriers of the intervention forces, the transporter who had brought the pilots and who left loaded with spare parts and finally the squadrons.

Once in hyperspace, Poe took the opportunity to update Lando, Jannah and the intervention troops on the latest developments.

He then walled up in silence thinking about what Finn had said.

The truth was that he had been feeling stronger and stronger feelings for Finn for several months. And the year spent doing perilous missions with him had only increased his passion. 

When he spoke to him he felt like he was in a raging X-wing, doing full throttle loops and 180 ° turns. Several times, during one of their heart-to-heart discussions, he had wanted to lean over and put his lips to his, but each time he had given up. 

Although Finn and Rose had gone their separate ways, Finn still seemed to be circling around her, sometimes chatting in a low voice out of sight. 

Poe didn't want to risk their precious friendship, es pecially since they had to take into account the fact that they were both at the head of the Resistance. A disagreement between the two leaders could endanger everything. 

Poe sighed. He was always on top of the gossip and he knew he was being credited with a hot affair with Zorii. Obviously Finn believed in it too ... 

Liaison or not he was going to have to fix the situation with Zorii and quickly.

R2-D2 was in a talkative mood and pulled him from his reverie. He asked a question that relaxed him a little.

"You're right buddy, BB-8 will be delighted to have lots of new BBs as friends."

Poe shook his head laughing, imagining BB-8 surrounded by lots of beeping and colorful balls.

დდდდდდ

_Tatooine_

Rey was sitting on her bed, highly upset, twisting Ben's sweater in her hands.

She felt like she no longer understood anything. She had felt the connection open as before, she had felt the ambient sounds disappear and been replaced by silence, she had had the impression of seeing another place and yet she had not seen it. The connection was gone before she even saw him.

How was it possible that they still had a connection when he was -- dead?

Rey rummaged through her memory and tried to remember if Luke and Leia had missed something like that. But no, they only talked about the appearance of Ben as a ghost like them. At no time had they talked about their connections.

Perhaps no one knew what happened when the members of a dyad were separated, this bond in the Force was so rare that it was almost unique.

Rey sighed for at least the hundredth time. She had not slept again and had spent the night making assumptions. She ended up sitting down and hugging Ben's sweater. She brought it to her nose from time to time and breathe in her scent - her new ritual in addition to counting the days and eating her meals in front of the suns -, a slightly musky smell, an essence so particular to her eyes, a mixture of sweat and soap. A mixture of Ben.

She went cross-legged and closed her eyes. She felt the Force vibrate around her in a strong and bright current. An ocean. She felt everything. She searched for Ben and to his surprise his signature in the Force had been further strengthened.

She opened her eyes again, catching up with the sweater that had risen a few inches.

Could it be possible ? No it couldn't ... Yet it was the only explanation that came to mind for the moment.

If Ben was alive somewhere that could explain their connection and the fact that she feels him in a Force.

A mad hope invades him. The heavy atmosphere, the lightning ... of course he was on Exegol ...

She began to think: she had the route to go there only from Ajan Kloss. Exegol could only be found from the path of the guide. She couldn't reach him from Tatooine. She should come back by Ajan Kloss. But she would be spotted by the Resistance radars and she should explain herself.

"I would only have to say that I come to recover what Leia bequeathed to me ... Yes that's it, and then I head straight for Exegol. If he is there I would find him and I will need extra rations and I -- what's BB-8? "

Rey hadn't even realized that she had spoken out loud.

The little ball circled around her, beeping solicitously.

"Who am I talking about? Ben of course! Come on, you need to help me prepare our things and--"

BB-8 interrupted her, beeping even more softly.

_Ben is dead Rey, you told me yourself_

Rey gasped, your hope suddenly collapsed. She resented BB-8, she refused to admit that he was right. It did not make sense.

"No he isn't, he is--"

She stopped, realizing how much what she said was a pipe dream.

Of course he was dead, he would never come back. It was utopian to think otherwise. At best he would appear in front of her like Luke and Leia did but after spending days meditating and trying to reach him in the Force she started to despair.

She dropped to the ground, burning tears rolling down her cheeks. For a brief moment she had had one last hope, she had felt a flame reborn in her chest, the same one she had felt when they had kissed.

BB-8 beeped sadly, his head rolling to the ground.

She was going crazy, that was the only explanation. She imagined the connection, her signature in the Force.

She curled up on her bed, Ben's sweater tight against her. She cried for a long time and ended up falling into a semi-sleep. She felt like Ben was hugging her, his muscular arms wrapped around his waist.

_Don't be sad, don't move, I'm coming_

She finally sank.

დდდდდდ

_Somewhere in a cloud of gas and dust_

Ben tried not to slide when the ship swerved sharply. It was one thing to be a seasoned pilot but another to be stuck in the hull without a seat or belt as the ship in question was rushing at full speed amid a cloud of gas and dust on fire trying to '' avoid collisions.

But he was not complaining, so far his plan was working perfectly. He had heard the man contact the Resistance and discuss what they had discovered.

The fact that the Sith had built a hidden fortress did not surprise him, he already suspected that the place where they had faced Palpatine was only used for decorum to impress any visitor with statues of several dozen masters and thousands of disciples.

He was relieved to learn that they were allowed to return to base, he just had to bite the bullet, it was only a matter of hours now.

He decided to rest while meditating, he would need all his faculties when he arrived on the base.

He couldn't help but try to reach Rey for Force signature. He only felt it faintly but he was surprised to feel an aura of deep sadness. He felt cascades of pain around her so powerful that he felt them in his chest too.

Sa Rey suffered and it was intolerable to him. He tried to send her positive waves even though he knew he was too weak and too far away for her to feel them.

_Don't be sad, don't move, I'm coming_

დდდდდდ

_Kuat_

The holographic message illuminated all the grave faces which surrounded the vast marble meeting table.

General Dameron's message could not have been clearer: the Resistance demanded the departure of troops from the First Order of the planet either willingly or with the "help" of the Resistance. The tone remained cordial but firm. The message was awaiting a response.

"Seriously are we going to be intimidated?" asked one of the members with a disdainful pout.

"These are just empty words, they are bluffing, they know very well that Kuat has been impregnable since the Empire." another bid with a laugh of pity "Should we answer them?"

A few disdainful laughter and exclamations roamed the room.

"What for I wonder! Let's ignore them!" stormed a young officer

"You don't play sabacc Lieutenant Bolgrive? What a pity, you would know if not that in situations like ours it is necessary to imply the same principles: to play the least cards possible, to keep its assets and to make so that our adversary kills his . " Suddenly stated Ormes Apolin with contempt as if it were educating a particularly stupid child.

"Let them believe that we accede to their request. For the moment ... But let us be ready to answer by force! In this regard: where is the Derriphan?"

"Hidden at the edge of the outer border awaiting our signal."

"Well." Elm Apolin smiled badly:

"The hand may be in their camp for now but it will not last ..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Com-scan](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Com-scan)
> 
> [The Derriphan](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Derriphan_\(Star_Destroyer\))
> 
> [Doctor Kalonia](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Harter_Kalonia)
> 
> [Huper Tenrecs](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Huper_Tenrecs)
> 
> [Junn Gobint](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Junn_Gobint)
> 
> [R5-2JE](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/R5-2JE)
> 
> [Gatalentan tea](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Gatalentan_tea)
> 
> [The Snap](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Baleen-class_heavy_freighter)
> 
> [Twylope Nur](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Twylope_Nur)
> 
> [YC-123B transport hauler](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/YC-123B_transport_hauler)


	10. Infiltration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are witnessing the battle for the liberation of Mon Cala by accompanying Colonel Ackbar. Meanwhile the rest of the Resistance is on Ajan Kloss and preparing for the next steps. Finn and Poe take the opportunity to discuss their respective heartbreaks. Ben, who arrived illegally at the base, hides from the Resistance and tries to find out where Rey is hiding. Rey is on Tatooine and working on the old Jedis books. Finally we find a certain spy of the First Odre on a mission ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody !!  
> 1- I hope you will see the circumstances! 💗💗  
> STAY SAFE! RESPECT THE INSTRUCTIONS!
> 
> 2-Thank you for the kudos, you are super nice! It encourages me to continue 💗💗
> 
> 3-CAUTION: This chapter is violent, there are descriptions of battles and deaths. And a little later Rey has nightmares and it's pretty hard. So I updated the tags and the content rating!
> 
> 4-SMUT IS COMING !!!!! From here about two chapters! Patience 😉
> 
> 5- PLAYLIST :  
> So to start the chapter, the fights of My Cala I find that the music composed by John Williams is perfect: epic and serious at will.  
> [Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPOdAuLafvA&feature=emb_title) is Imperial march and Imperial suite remixed by Samuel Kim who makes magnificent Star Wars music.
> 
> Then for the part where Ben is in the jungle I imagined songs of birds, sounds of water ... you know the kind of Zen background music for relaxation, meditation. [Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOgi-_N-jA8&feature=emb_title) is an example.
> 
> Finally I imagined Ben backpacking and I immediately thought of Western type music from the Mandalorian series. Imagine Ben jumping in the trees spying on Finn and Poe, jumping from rocks to rocks near the waterfall ...  
> Then imagine him, beating heart infiltrating the cave. And his determination when he learns where Rey is ...
> 
> [Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzS52hLVUCU&feature=emb_title) is a remix still by Samuel Kim.
> 
> 6-I would like to pay tribute to Hal, an absolutely brilliant artist, member of the twitter fandom and who drew reylo like nobody. These reylo drawings were the first I found on twitter. She died suddenly and my heart is broken. May the Force be with you forever dear angel! Rest in peace ! 😭😭 We will meet again one day, on the other side!  
> You can see her arts  
> [here](https://www.instagram.com/haloren1st/?igshid=1w5634xzcoamz)
> 
> That's it for my blabla, again thank you for following my story. I will do what I can to post as soon as possible.

__

_Mon Cala_

A blaster hit Aftab so close that he would not be surprised to find that a piece of his suit was taken.

He heard his comrade fall behind him: the blaster had hit him in the head.

_Goodbye my brother_

He did not turn around, he knew it wasn't worth it, the shot had exploded half of the face.

He continued to advance accompanied by other My Calamari.

They entrenched themselves behind a wall which had been partly blown away by a cannon shot.

Colonel Aftab Ackbar and his B-wing squadron had succeeded in eliminating the bulk of the military infrastructure that the enemy had established on Mon Cala. However, there were still many battalions of stormtroopers. And King Ech-char was still hostage.

All the battalions had been concentrated in Dac City, King Ech-Char had been transferred there from the capital for more security. The capital being an obvious target.

Some Quarren were on the side of the First Order but it was anecdotal in comparison with the massive betrayal of the Quarren people during the Clone Wars and the imperial era. General Nossor Ri's ultimate sacrifice had rallied everyone.

My Cala had once again been oppressed, but very quickly guerrilla warfare had taken place. The locals had the advantage of fighting in extremely familiar places while the stormtroopers were not trained for underwater combat. Underwater the blasters were not working, we were fighting with harpoons. And the troopers were disadvantaged because being humans they could not breathe underwater: there were wetland assault stormtrooper but this kind of unit was also not able to stay underwater for long periods. At most they could last an hour.

It was then decided to entrust the guard of the king to Quarren sympathizers of the First Order and to concentrate the troops on the surface in the cities.

After bombing the military structures Aftab and his team had landed and had evolved as a ground intervention team: armed with blasters and rocket launchers they were advancing gradually in Dac.

They could count on the support of the population who, as soon as news of the fall of the First Order had arrived a month earlier, had prepared stocks of arms and ammunition bought on the black market. Clandestine networks of combatants had been established in the main cities by means of secret communication networks.

As Aftab advanced into Dac, groups of armed civilian combatants regained control of the main cities, favored that the bulk of the troops had been transferred to Dac City.

Sheltered behind the wall, they spotted a group of troopers approaching with arms raised. Silently they distributed their targets.

Springing from behind the wall, Aftab opened fire, screaming, followed by resistance fighters and civilians.

He shot down two troopers, but was put in trouble by the third who violently wielded a Z6 combat stick. Forced to back away from these assaults, Aftab rolled behind the wall to protect himself.

He grabbed a piece of concrete and sent it to the trooper who made a shoulder movement to avoid it and Aftab took the opportunity to send him a blast of blaster.

There were only two troopers left, a Quarren woman ended up killing one and Aftab's ally Grer-Char's the last.

The resistance fighters my calamari had nothing and were ready to leave. One of the civilians, however, had shot himself in the abdomen with a blaster, Aftab pulled him back and took him behind the wall. The wound was serious, you could see the bowels. Aftab took the injured man's hand and pressed it to the wound.

"Don't move from there, we'll come get you!"

One of the civilians knelt and took the head of the wounded man on his legs, humming a lullaby.

Aftab grabbed his blaster, ammunition from one of the dead troopers and left with his troop.

Throughout the city you could hear fighting, gunfire or mortar. In the distance you could see fire smoke. The city was under siege.

They had to keep moving forward and succeed in winning the royal palace.

They encountered another squad. The blasters blows went in all directions. Aftab disarmed a trooper who threw himself at him and they fought in close combat. He found himself with a split lip and blood spattered everywhere. His opponent managed to gain the upper hand and sat astride him and began to grab his throat and strangle him. Panting, lacking air, Aftab fumbled around him trying to get his hands on a weapon. His hand met the barrel of a weapon. He was starting to see things blurry, he couldn't hear anything. He grabbed the weapon and struck his opponent with the strength he had left using the butt of the blaster.

The trooper only loosened his hands, Aftab pulled him in the chest. His adversary collapsed on him, dead. His throat on fire, his eyes dripping with tears from the trauma he got up trembling, rolling the corpse to the side. He saw blurred, the sound came to him muffled.

Haggard he saw Grer-Char throwing his dagger at the throat of one of the troopers right at the joint of the helmet where there was no protection. The soldier collapsed a stream of blood flowing from his wound.

Ghosh Joovneb had grabbed an F-11D blaster and was shooting into the pile.

Their attackers were too numerous, with Chickra Ogiss, Sue Daalox and Yozun Relkoc they took refuge in a market alley.

Ghosh and Grer played the role of sniper and thanks to the J19 telescopic sight they hit their targets every time.

"Chief, we are going to have a problem. Two squads are arriving on us. That makes 20 and we are 6 ..."

Chickra took off her belt and untied the explosive charges one by one. Without saying a word he activated them and immediately threw them towards the squads. The charges exploded upon touching the ground, turning everything around it into dust. The detonations were deafening. They heard a few screams from burning troopers, then partial silence returned.

"Let's continue" enjoined Aftab.

They ran along the streets while watching their rear.

They encountered other armed civilians who were fighting.

At the foot of the skyscrapers, temporary infirmaries had been set up in each district. The wounded numbered in the hundreds, more or less serious injuries.

Dead people littered the streets, many stormtroopers and civilian combatants, the majority of civilians having taken refuge in aquatic bunkers dating from the Clone Wars. So far Aftab hasn't seen any of its dead soldiers. They had broken up after landing, each team being made up of resistance fighters and volunteer civilians.

The dead were part of their daily lives now in Abtab, Grer and Ghosh and they had no more heart in seeing them. The civilians who joined them, however, were confronted for the first time. Chickra, Sue and Yozun turned their heads when they saw a gutted dead or another buried under rubble.

The ambient odor was unpleasant, the blasts of blasters had a particular, ionic odor. To this was added the smell of blood, dust and putrefaction.

Aftab was beginning to regret not having asked Poe for help from the start. A communication put an end to his thoughts. The civil rebellion had just freed Mon Cala City. They were sending reinforcements to Dac. For the first time in several days Aftab breathed more freely. His acolytes also.

They ended up arriving at the royal palace. Alarms were sounding. The alert had been given, they were going to have to play tight. Yozun deactivated the door locks and they opened one of the palace service doors used by the servants. At the end of the corridor they slid the section of wall behind which the door was hidden.

No one in the hallway. They heard the alarms, the stormstroopers must have been called outside to help. They crossed the rows of large spaces of the castle, it had been designed as a reminder of the fighting vessels of Mon Cala: large, massive, with impressive modern and refined volumes and as many picture windows as possible. The aerial part was used for meetings with the emissaries of other planets.

They went to the underwater part of the castle, where the king lived. Aftab was the son of one of the greatest war mon calamari heroes and Grer-Char was the crown prince. Both moved in the palace without a shadow of hesitation, knowing every nook and cranny.They quickly descended the stairs that led to the access platforms of the submerged palace. This is where visitors were brought to equip themselves with diving suits in order to access the sanctuaries of the deceased as well as the spaces dedicated to audiences with the king.

Shots indicated that they weren't alone.Wetland stormtroopers guarded the entrances. They were disadvantaged: their weapons were FC-1 flechette launcher which were made for water combat and didn't carry the weight against blasters.

They fell one by one, there was only one who had his leg pierced by a shot. He hugged himself to the wall, dragging his bleeding leg trying to bring it under him.

"P - Please" he begged

Aftab approached him and crouched down so that he could be at the same height. He couldn't see his eyes, so he addressed the mask.

"What is your name?"

"KL-3206"

"Can you tell us the position of the guards KL-3206 ?"

KL-3206 shook his head:

"There are almost no more, we have been ordered to evacuate the palace and provide support to outside troops. Only Quirren guards remain with the king."

A shiver interrupted him, Aftab looked at his thigh injury. There was far too much blood. He tore a part of his shirt sleeve and used it to make a particularly tight tourniquet around the thigh.

KL-3206 winced.

"Is that or you die," Grer pointed out coldly.

"I guess I don't have much choice now" tried to joke the soldier.

"Save your strength" instructed Aftab. "And take off your helmet, you'll breathe better."

They didn't expect to see a soldier so young, he looked like a kid with his blond hair and his upturned nose. A kid.

Aftab got up and without warning pointed his blaster at Grer's head.

"Are you crazy or what ?"

"You stay here with him." He turned his head towards Ghosh, Sue, Chickra and Yozun and chin told them to go to the platforms from where they could dive.

"No way !" stormed Grer. "I'm coming with you."

"I wouldn't risk your life more than that, Grer you're the crown prince, you have to step back."

"It's my father who is under there!"

"I know and that's _precisely_ why you're going to stay there wisely"

Aftab didn't falter despite the glare that the heir gave him. He had known him too long to know that Grer would not try anything against him.

Grer ends up lowering his shoulders, defeated.

"Keep me posted" he sighed

Aftab nodded and hurried to join his comrades near the diving pits. They did nt waste time changing, their outfits were studied so as not to slow them down in the water. They caught their crossbows, harpoon spears and darts from the troopers and plunged into the icy water.

Usually Aftab was always happy to get back in the water after a long time outdoors. Water was his element, he felt the thin transparent eyelid that protected his eyes from getting wet, his lungs-gills swelled rhythmically. Usually he always took the time to savor this moment but today he was in a hurry.

He was advancing at the head of the group swimming rapidly along the large transparent pipes which were animated by sea currents which made it possible to navigate between the different parts of the underwater city much more quickly.They were to join the king's quarters.

"Warning !"

Quarren Goe Sqee had emerged from the tunnel, gunshot, and was shooting at them. Sue shot him an arrow which he received in the chest and found himself nailed to the wall, his blood coloring the water red and gradually diluting.

"Where's the king? Where is he?" asked Chickra aggressively

"The c - courtroom" manages to articulate Goe before his head falls on his shoulder.

They left it there and increased their speed beating faster with their webbed feet.

They entered through the balcony of the king's apartments. From there they could directly access the courtroom.

Others quarren arrived, Yozun activated his machine gun crossbow and began to sweep them. The others did the rest. In a few minutes they had decimated them all.

They crossed the anterooms. In the distance they saw quarren taking refuge in the courtroom and blocking access.

Sue pulled on the door control panel, cutting off all mechanisms.

Aftab and Ghoss began to gradually pull the leaves from the door which no longer had closing mechanisms and which started to open little by little.

They were immediately attacked by shots coming from inside the room and passing through the door slit. Sue, Chicka and Yozun set out to protect Aftab and Ghoss while they opened the door.

"Watch out for the king" shouted Ghoss

"We-do-what-we-can" managed to answer Yozun between her teeth.

The door dampers finally let go and the door opened wide.

They rushed inside, killing two quarren.

They found themselves facing a whole group of Quarren led by General Chriq Nos. The king was lying in his protective cabin attached to the respiratory system which kept him alive. He seemed particularly weak.

The quarren were in numerical superiority, Aftab and his friends had their weapons raised and had put in play their adversaries but they also had them in play.

Everyone was paralyzed.

"Tell me you have a plan," Ghosh whispered to Aftab between his teeth, pretending to rub his chin against his shoulder.

"I'm thinking," Aftab replied in the same tone.

It was the general who broke the silence: he advanced towards the resistance, contemplating them with contempt and smugness.

"Look at what the current brings us! A bunch of plankton"

"Caution, General..." scolded Aftab

"Oh would I have offended you? My god what a disappointment you would be for your father. Obviously it's not because you are the son of a hero that you are one too."

"And it's not because _you_ are the descendant of a traitor, that _you_ are one, _though_ ..." quipped Ghosh.

The general didn't show any sign that he had been touched by the insult.

"You have no alternative" warns Aftab. "The Resistance is on the way with troops to secure Mon Cala, rebels from Mon Cala City are coming to lend us a hand right now. You have lost!"

Aftab was playing big with this bluff, the Resistance knew nothing.

"I see" murmured the General who seemed to think. In doing so, he approached the capsule which contained the king.

Suddenly with a quick gesture he took out a dagger and applied it to the pipes that pumped oxygen from the water to then transmit it to the artificial respirator.

"And now? What will you do? I hold the king hostage, if I cut these pipes, he dies."

Aftab contemplated the king for a long time, deep inside he was boiling but he tried not to let anything appear. He met the old king's gaze, he tilted his head slightly, blinking.

"Go ahead" Aftab replied coldly to the surprise of everyone in the room. "It doesn't matter. The crown prince is safe, if the king dies he will take his place."

The general, seeing that his plan was not going to work, hesitated.

"So?!" barked Aftab "Do it"

The general's hand fell. He dropped his dagger and raised his hands in the air. This was the signal, his soldiers dropped their weapons and surrendered.

Aftab approached the General: "You had the advantage of numbers, you could have just killed us ..." he pointed out to him.

"And in doing so I would have had no idea of the arrival of the Resistance, and I would have been killed. I have information, I can exchange it for a life."

Aftab nodded in disgust, he recognized this old scoundrel there: capable of supporting a cause as long as it brought him something but betraying it from the moment things went wrong.

"The troops of the First Order are directed from the tower of the pearl, it's there that their command was established."

The Pearl Tower was one of the oldest constructions in Dac City, it was so called because it was decorated with mother-of-pearl.

A rattle came from the king's capsule. He was trying to speak, his voice no more than a whisper:

"L - L - let's finish it. Act - Activate the Bi - Big Wave"

"Your Majesty are you sure? We can defeat the fighters, we can get their surrender, we--

"No - Our people have already suffered too much, Colonel Ackbar. Let's stop this _now_."

The king's words had the force of law, so Aftab nodded and turned to his comrades.

"Did you hear the king ?! Send the orders, tell everyone!"

In the twinkling of an eye they strummed on their communicators.

Aftab contacted Grer:

"Did you see the message ?! Come back here with the wounded man"

"He may not survive in the water"

"If we leave him where you are he will die anyway"

"Very well, I give him a combination and we arrive"

The general drew Aftab's attention: "What is the Big Wave?"

Aftab smiled sadly: "A secret project devised by civil resistance fighters in the distance with the engineers. The king was aware of this thanks to the messages we sent him through our secret communication network"

He sighed, "I only hoped we never got there"

He turned to the General: "Dac City is built on the sea, we are surrounded by water"

"Yes I know, I--" The general suddenly stopped talking, he understood, pure terror appeared on his face. He opened his mouth and formulated a silent question.

Aftab nodded sadly, they understood each other.

During the year of occupation of the First Order, the civil resistance had set up a secret communication network, each home in Dac had access to it, secret meetings had been held despite the curfews. The engineers had designed a cataclysmic defense system in record time by claiming to the First Order that these were marine energy acquisition mechanisms.

Everyone had prepared, knowing that there was a possibility that this would happen.

Also that day when the code "The hour of Lee-Char rang" in tribute to the late king, they had known. Those who had not taken refuge at the start of the fighting in the submarine shelters hastened to join them. The wounded were transported in capsules.

In the streets, the battalions of stormtroopers understood nothing: their opponents fled. Soon there was not a single one left. They contacted their commanders who told them to search everywhere.

A roar was suddenly heard. They looked up but nothing was happening in the sky. Rather, it came from below.

"Look !" suddenly someone yelled. He was pointing the sea far away. It seemed to be withdrawing.

In the command center, Admiral Gen Camest observed the situation on screens.

"It's not normal" he whispered to himself

There had been this rumble and then nothing.

"Were there any enemy transmissions?" did he bark at one of his subordinates

"No Admiral we didn't catch anything"

The admiral had a feeling of unease, he felt that something was going on but he didn't know what.

"Admiral the sea withdraws" announced a commander.

"What ?! ' the admiral ran to one of the bay windows to find out for himself.

It was however true

And in the distance he saw something advancing towards them. Something high. _Very_ high. _Blue_. Like water.

"No .." he whispered

All of them had felt the rumble caused by the rupture of the underwater rock by the mechanisms that the engineers had installed.

They had felt the shock wave spread.

They were safe underwater in their shelters.

Millions of people holding their breath, praying to the gods of the seas to spare them.

They felt the movement of the water around them.

They felt _her_.

Lee-Char's hour had struck.

The Big Wave.

The destroyer of worlds.

They all looked up to the sky when they saw the mountain of water ahead of them.

All had started to run. But to go where?

Admiral Camest had a last thought when the deafening roar was the only thing they heard.

The Pearl Tower is the only building in the city unable to resist the power of water. Too old.

It was his last thought as the windows exploded around him and everything swirled in a salty blue universe.

დდდდდდ

_Ajan Kloss_

The carriers slowly began their descents to their respective landing zones in the new clearings hastily set up a few hours earlier by the ground crew

A welcoming committee awaited them, Norra and Karé at the head. As soon as they saw Wedge they rushed to him and hugged him. The hunters had returned a few hours before the Exegol team and Finn had informed them of what they had discovered. The troops were divided between excitement about the secrets that the Sith fortress might contain and apprehension about these same secrets and about the condition of their comrades.

The Force, the Jedi, the Sith were abstract concepts for them: on the one hand the good, on the other the bad. All kinds of obscure legends were running around them, no one knew what was true and what was false. Some said that the Sith drank the blood of their victims to rejuvenate, others swore that a Jedi could collapse a mountain just by snapping their fingers ... They told these stories around campfires when the evenings dragged on and everyone tried to tell a story even more frightening than that of their neighbor with even more sordid details.

They had a lot of respect for Rey but considered her to be someone apart with powerful powers that they didn't necessarily understand or even feared for some.

The fact that a mission to a planet ruled by the Sith Lord had been shortened in part for the safety of their comrades was of great concern to them.

Suralinda and Jess accepted the warm hugs and greetings with embarrassment. Now that they had returned to base they were ashamed of themselves and berated themselves for being so weak. Now that they were caressed by the hot rays of the sun, they thought they had probably exaggerated, Exegol was probably not that bad.

A little apart, Wedge hugged Norra against him, forehead against forehead, they looked each other in the eyes. They didn't need a word, they had known each other for so many years that in this kind of situation speech was superfluous. Wedge knew how desperate Norra was and he was heartbreaking to see her like that, not to mention the fact that he too was crying Snap.

Poe hugged Suralinda and Jess against him, relieved: "Are you okay?"

Suralinda freed herself, embarrassed and Poe took the opportunity to examine him from head to toe: 

"Doctor Kalonia is waiting for you for a check-up, don't make her wait. You will tell us all about it later."

Drawn in spite of themselves by their acolytes, they allowed themselves to be carried away to the caves. Closing the line of the resistance fighters and droids carried the rubble they had brought back and which could perhaps be used by the teams of technicians.

Everyone was too impatient to listen to the detailed account of the team to go around the devices and check that the trip had not altered any mechanism. The droids would do it later.

No one was there when a panel of the YC-123B transporter moved aside ...

He had held firm during the entire flight trying to rely on the Force when the disturbances were particularly felt in his hiding place. But Ben had to admit that this Wedge was a particularly good driver. The more he thought about it, the more familiar he seemed to him. Could it be that he was the same Wedge whose ears Luke had pricked up to him in the temple when he taught him to fly?

Possible ... According to the files of the First Order he would have joined the Resistance last year and had participated in a release of prisoners on Corellia.

He concentrated in the Force, meditating deeply, almost in a trance. Breathing deeply he let it float around him and wrap him tightly. He felt better from minute to minute but it was not won. He would undoubtedly have weeks of training and meditation to reach the level of control he had in the past.

After several hours he felt the ship begin to descend in stages. They were about to land.

The hard part was going to start and he was going to need all his strength and faculties. He was going to have to play tight, he had no room for error. One misstep and it was over, he would be a prisoner of the Resistance, he knew that he would have to face them sooner or later but he preferred to make it prepared, in shape and with Rey to support him and not exhausted, almost amputated from the Force, helpless and _alone_ in addition.

He stood up and took advantage of the noise of the landing to unclip the metal panel a bit so he could take a look at the rebate and find out what was going on. He only saw through a slit but he couldn't open the panel without being discovered and being caught now would be a _very_ bad idea.

He saw the pilot pass in front of him without paying attention to what he was surrounding. He heard the access ramps lower and he heard cheers, obviously they were expected.

The sun was coming in full flood, he wondered where he could be. Despite all the efforts of the First Order they had never succeeded in knowing where the secret base of the Resistance was. He wondered if he was not in a desert, that could explain the decor he had seen when he connected with Rey.

_Everything rather than imagining that she could have voluntarily set out again in a desert ..._

He couldn't hear the conversations, he was too far away. On the lookout, heart beating, he saw Resistance fighters pass in front of him and take material, probably recovered from Exegol. He held his breath, convinced that at any time one of them would turn his head and see the slit or hear the frantic beating of his heart.

But they just unloaded quickly and left. He heard the sounds of voices fade, obviously the troop was leaving.

He waited several minutes to make sure no one was coming, counting the seconds in his head.

After ten minutes he carefully pushed the panel aside and glanced at it.

No one.

He opened the panel widely and slipped out. With all his senses alert, he scanned the area of his gaze.

Still no one.

He quickly closed the panel and rushed out of the ship at full speed.

He rushed into the surrounding jungle and ran straight ahead, expecting to hear blaster shots at all times.

He slalomed between the palm trees, almost falling when he slipped on a fern.

Out of breath he ends up stopping at the edge of a stream which was running happily.

He took the time to observe what surrounded him: a luxuriant jungle bathed by the sun, palm trees as far as the eye could see, a rocky ground with reliefs, ferns which covered a dark ground, water, a lot of 'water. He listened, he thought he heard the sound of a waterfall and birdsong.

He savored this moment: it had been seven years since he had been in contact with nature other than during missions and battles, the rest of the time he had spent on a destroyer in the stars in a sanitized universe and regulated. He felt like he was going back to the Jedi temple chatting by the stream with Tai.

_Tai ..._

It had been years since he had thought of him ... or rather, voluntarily thought of him. After having killed his father, many things that he believed to be buried forever had unpleasantly resurfaced, notably Tai, his death, their lost friendship, their lost brotherhood ...

He shook his head, frowning: _not now, you will do your introspection later, calmly ..._

He was hot. Too hot. It was nice to come out of Exegol and its frozen universe to feel the sun licking his skin but with his outfit - light sweater, pants and boots and black moreover - he had the impression of roasting from the inside. That explained the light outfits worn by the resistance fighters he had observed through the slit. Right now the only thing he could do was roll up his sweater sleeves at elbow level.

He sat down by the stream to think. At first, the priority was to find your bearings. He carefully retraced his steps and fixed landmarks to find the landing area. Here like a tree, there like a twisted branch ...

That done, he returned to the stream and began to climb it back to what he supposed was a waterfall.

He was right, she was there. The stream led to a body of water into which fell a waterfall that seemed to come out of the vegetation and the sky. The water was transparent and turquoise. Ben went around looking around. The little body of water was in a sort of clearing surrounded on one side by rocks and on the other by trees.

He spotted among the trees, one of which a particularly thick branch started from the trunk on the ground. The bark of the trunk crumpled with humidity, it formed a kind of almost comfortable hollow.

The place was quite far from the landing zone, he had not spotted any trace of resistance fighters, obviously the zone was not explored. He could stay here and use this heavenly place as a base for what he decided to do next.

Ben sat in the hollow of the tree and started to think. At first he had to get food. He had plenty of water now, but he wouldn't last very long without solid food. He was going to have to get closer to the landing zone and follow the path taken by the Resistants in order to try to get closer to the heart of the base.

The next step would be the most difficult: spying without being spotted, obtaining information about Rey's location and trying to establish what they knew about him.

Knowing Rey, chances were she hadn't told them anything about what had happened; the young woman had her secrets, heritage of a life of survival where the slightest weakness was synonymous with death, the emotions more than any other.

He positioned himself a little better in the hollow of the tree and decided to rest a little. The soothing sound of the waterfall, the afternoon coming to an end and the melodious song of the birds gradually relaxed him. He felt himself leaving in a semi-sleep, his hands sometimes dropping the iron bar which he pressed against his chest.

დდდდდდ

_Tatooine_

Rey was in a bad mood. She fell asleep in tears, hugging Ben's sweater.

She had nightmared all night: she saw her dying parents once more, screaming in despair; she saw Leia falling into the void shouting her name, her hands stretched out toward her; she saw the Emperor stretching out his rotten hands towards her to caress her cheek, murmuring "Empress Palpatine"; she saw herself sitting on the stone throne of the Sith, her grandfather whispering in her head the atrocities she had to commit. She was wearing a blood-red dress, the heavy, luxurious fabric of which waved behind her when she walked. She had her double red lightsaber which vibrated in the air, she saw herself being thrown by strangers, sending them straight on stone stakes, impaling them mortally; she pierced a stranger with her red lightsaber; the strangers had no face, she killed them without the slightest remorse, watching with satisfaction their blood spilling on the ground forming a large pool ...

_Through Strength I gain Power._

_Through Power I gain Victory._

_Through Victory my chains are Broken._

And suddenly the nightmare had changed, she had become herself again but the strangers were no longer strangers: the impaled bodies were those of her friends: Poe, Finn, Rose, Kaydel, Beaumont, Chewie ... all dead, pierced , their eyes filled with ultimate terror, their rigid bodies, blood everywhere that flowed from their open mouths in a last cry. Horrified she turned to the stranger she had pierced.

"No ... Oh no no no!"

The stranger had a face, that of Ben. He was looking at her, breathing hard, death was already on him, each breath spattered blood.

Rey was crying all the tears from his body, trying to compress the wound but it was useless, she had almost cut him in half, it was a miracle that he was still alive.

He raised a trembling hand to her and put his thumb on her lips to keep her from speaking. He was going to say something but no sound came out of his mouth, he had a bloody hiccup, his eyes rolled in their sockets and he stopped breathing.

His hand fell, leaving a trail of blood on his cheek.

She felt herself fall into the void.

"BENNNNNNNNN"

And she woke up on the floor in sweat. She had fallen from her bed.

Panicked she began to rub her hands and her cheeks, she had the impression that she was covered with blood. Of _his_ blood. She rubbed her skin so hard that she felt a burning sensation.

"No ... make it go !!!"

BB-8 came at full speed and beeped with concern.

"BB-8 please help me, I can't remove it." moans Rey crying.

BB-8 beeped a puzzled question.

"But look! There's a lot of blood! It won't leave! My _god_ is Ben's blood, I did that! I killed him! I'm a monster! I-

She stopped suddenly because BB-8 who was trying somehow to calm her down had finally pulled out her mechanical arm and had sent her a slight electric shock, strong enough to startle her and stop her.

BB-8 began to beep at full speed but with increased smoothness.

Rey blinked, "Of course there is blood, I didn't invoke it--"

She was silent and looked at her hands. BB-8 came a little closer and rolled his head on his lap, beeping softly.

"Oh"

Tears fell again: it was only a nightmare, a horrible nightmare. She was so caught up in it that she thought it was real.

She looked at her hands and forearms: she had rubbed so hard that it felt like a burn.

"I'm going crazy." she whispered softly, curling up on herself, her head buried in her arms and resting on her knees.

The next morning it was activated from the first rays of sun. She had gone around the vaporators, had harvested the vegetables, she would try to exchange some later on the market of Mos Eiley for some fruit. Although she is considered a witch by many people at Mos Eiley, she decided to try to socialize anyway. There must have been a lucid person in this desert.

Then she tinkered in her little bathroom. Although small and modest, it represented infinite luxury in a desert where every drop of water counted. The water tanks were full thanks to the many vaporizers she had repaired with BB-8 and she had almost no consumption. The purification and preservation system was operating at full capacity, but rather than keeping this precious liquid for herself alone, she was thinking of filling barrels and distributing it to the poor of Mos Eisley.

This desert was like Jakku: strong and weak. And the weakest struggled to survive: food was expensive, water even more and some took advantage of it to drive up prices. There was a whole more or less legal traffic around the water, the "blue diamond" as some called it, a metaphor which represented its rarity and its value. The cartels and the Black Sun were engaged in all kinds of traffic but on the desert planets, they monopolized the water market. The main humidity farms were managed by their members, the main sellers were theirs and those who were not had to accept the price they set and in addition pay a royalty so as not to have problems.

When landing on Tatooine Rey vaguely knew the situation on the planet from Leia. The Hutt after being diverted by the Republic had low profile in front of the cartel of Nikta Rinnrivin Di. After his death, caused by Leia during her last mission for the Senate before she resigned, the Hutt had gradually extended their grip. It was not the sprawling organization that Luke Skywalker had faced in the past, but it was nevertheless powerful locally. Especially at Mos Eisley. And especially on the water market.

If she could help a few people by giving them the precious liquid she would.

Going around in circles, prey to a headache that was getting worse, she ended up dropping by her cross-legged bed and took out the sacred books of the Jedi which they kept in a box equipped with a system that controlled the atmosphere and ensured optimal humidity so as not to damage the paper which is sometimes several millennia old. More than a month had passed without her opening and studying them.She had studied them a lot in the past year. As soon as she had finished her training, she took refuge in the part of the cave which served her as a bench and could spend hours immersed in these thick volumes, fascinated. Deciphering them had been particularly complicated: written by many authors in complex archaic languages, they had to be transcribed in modern basic and Aurebesh. C-3PO had thus been of great help with its knowledge of seven million languages. Beaumont had also helped her a lot in translating particularly metaphorical and nebulous passages.

She had thus been able to repair the broken crystal of Luke's saber thanks to the Brus-bu chronicles. She particularly liked the Rammahgon with its red cover which made her think of a galaxy. She had found there explanations on orienters, axes of transport to the dark regions as well as theoretical lessons on the projection of oneself through the Force also called _Similfuturus_. By carefully turning the pages on this technique she thought of Luke again. How far it all seemed now ...

She stared for long minutes at the fine writing of her former master. Each Jedi had contributed to these pages, each had provided details, recounting their experiences. She looked at the page where Luke had written his concerns about the Sith artifacts and his unsuccessful quest for Pasaana. She had to complete the notes for future generations, tell her quest and that of the Resistance. But she couldn't write, like almost everyone now. At a time of holographic messages, droids and technology, only the professors, some students and scholars still knew how to write ... She was going to have to ask Beaumont probably for help.

Annoyed by her lack of knowledge she turned the pages, she arrived on the one she knew less: were represented diagrams of theorem of the worlds in chains where as Beaumont had explained to him of the world between the worlds. She leaned more deeply on the explanatory texts. They were particularly strenuous and filled with incomprehensible metaphors.

Well, it was strange, Exegol was written near one of the small spheres ...

დდდდდდ

_Ajan Kloss_

It was time for celebration on the base. Or at least the atmosphere was warm and friendly if not completely festive. We were delighted with the arrival of the new vessels, Shasa had a lot to do, all wanted to be the first to have their planes decorated by her.

It had been jointly decided that pending the development of a scanner by the engineers and the spy reports, the following days would be used for evaluating the new pilots and getting started with the new models.

All the pilots were euphoric at the idea of spending the next few days with each other, in a spirit of frank camaraderie and doing acrobatic tricks.

The good humor was general even if there were some incidents: the village was quite disorderly and several people seemed to have lost business temporarily.

They were all trying to forget momentarily that potentially there was a huge threat hidden beneath layers of icy rock.

Besides, in this regard Rose and her team worked hard. She spent hours with her nose buried in complex calculations and description cards of navigation systems. She still had her helmet screwed on her ears, listening relentlessly to Leia.

She never left her desk, working tirelessly. Her engineering skills were her pride and in memory of her sister she wanted to outdo herself.

Finn brought her meals and watched over her: when she finally collapsed from fatigue he carried her to her bunk.

The next two days passed quickly. At dawn the pilots jumped happily into the air, the noise of the engines echoing from the sky.

From the first day, having no particular occupations Finn wandered between Rose's workbench and the jungle where he observed the sky, watching the pilots fly. He never tired of looking at them, especially when Poe began to perform particularly complex acrobatic figures.

Everyone went about their business carefree, alternating between serious tasks and respite.

Charth had contacted to announce his imminent arrival of Ryloth with some of his compatriots. So they hastily cleared another area for the landing of their devices and worked hard in the village to try to have as many houses as possible.

The high command had got into the habit of meeting and sharing their meals, to which any resistance member who wished to join them joined. Finn relished these moments and looked at his family with affection. Of course Rey was missing for it to be perfect but these moments of sincere discussion were magic in themselves. Each had their own personality and they complemented each other. Where Larma was wise and composed, Wrobie was reckless and explosive. The squadron commanders brought a good dose of humor and madness. Veterans like Lando, Kurksel Gartfran and Maz brought their experiences and the necessary perspective to this young troop. Beaumont brought historical knowledge, Rose her genius, Kaydel her reflexes, Jannah the spirit of initiative. Poe was the leader everyone adored: charismatic, outgoing and close to his troops. Finn meanwhile was unsure where to place himself in this assembly. He always felt that he did not deserve his place as General. He was a good soldier, of course, but he still couldn't see why he deserved this place.

His anguish added to his heartache.

  
He had spoken to Poe a bit about it during a respite in the jungle. He had expressed his doubts to him. Poe had reassured him once more, reminding him of all he had accomplished.

They confided in almost everything.

Well almost.

Finn would sometimes tell him about the emotions he was feeling in the Force and frankly ask him what to do. Should he become a Jedi or just feel the Force? In front of this mark of confidence Poe opened. That day he finally confessed to him how much Snap's death affected him even though he tried hard not to show it too much in order to support Wedge, Norra and Karé.

The night before, in secret, he'd gotten drunk on Corellian whiskey in an attempt to drown out his grief and also the fact that he was sure Finn didn't feel anything for him.

Finn looked at him worriedly, "Don't fall for this man, we always think this is just for once and then it becomes a habit."

Poe reassured him with a wave of his hand: "Believe me with the hangover I've been dragging since this morning, I'm not going to do it again."

_That remained to be seen_

Finn examined him, now that he said Poe did indeed have a little green complexion.

He felt a deep sadness and unease coming from Poe. There was also a strange feeling of sweetness surrounding them. Was that coming from Poe too?

"You know I'm here for you right? You can tell me anything"

Poe nodded, his gaze lost in the distance, thinking about what he dreamed of saying to Finn.

"You know Zorii and I are over for good"

Finn stopped in his tracks, "Really? I mean-- why?"

Poe shrugged, "The two of us were a thing a long time ago. And then" -He turned slightly to Finn- "I love someone else"

It was his imagination where Finn looked sad at the news.

"That's cool man, happy for you!" he forced himself to say.

"I haven't told anything yet, I don't have the impression that it's reciprocal"

Finn understood only too well, "If you don't try anything you will never know and you will always wonder what would have happened if ..."

Poe stopped dead. Finn was right, anything could happen at any time.

"Finn, I--"

He was interrupted by a beep from his communicator strapped to his wrist.

  
It was Larma: "Poe we have Rey online!"

She had barely finished speaking when Finn was already picking up his pace and ended up running alongside Poe.

"I hope our girl is okay, I don't like knowing her alone on Tatooine" Poe gasped.

Finn nodded silently, holding his breath, he too was anxious when Rey contacted them, he was still afraid for her.

დდდდდდ

 _Somewhere_ _in the jungle of Ajan Kloss_

He advanced stealthily, moving as if fighting, knees slightly bent, jumping from shadows to shadows. He went up the course of the river progressively particularly anxious to be spotted. The aerial ballets above his head made him fear the worst: perhaps his presence had been spotted.

He camouflaged himself in the bushes and waited. After a few minutes he realized that they were actually training: they were performing close-range combat training rather than looking for a fugitive.

He began to advance again, following the path which the repeated passage of the Resistants had ended up forming in the midst of grasses and ferns. Somewhere he was grateful that the planet on which the Resistance had established had a tropical climate that allowed lush vegetation in which it easily melted.

He was walking along the landing areas, in the distance he saw maintenance personnel. He crouched in the ferns and watched them carefully. He didn't recognize anyone, he could sense them a bit through the Force but they were strangers. He spotted where they seemed to be coming from. He went there, however taking care to make a detour.

The path led to a sort of village. Before his eyes appeared small dwellings made of wood, stones and sheets. On the floor were running electric cables which ensured a minimum of comfort.

Hidden in the recesses of the jungle, Ben watched the Resistance fighters come and go. He can't help but compare their relative lack of discipline with the perfect thoroughness of the First Order. He had the impression of being reborn: after having spent years in a sanitized and polished universe to the extreme, hearing people speaking loudly, calling themselves, swearing when something was wrong made him feel alive. He had missed the spirit of frank camaraderie he had observed: he had spent the last few years alone. There were of course his knights but there was a balance of power and hierarchy between them. The only person he had opened his heart with and really talked to was Rey ...

As he examined his surroundings in detail he realized that he was literally hungry. He spotted protein bars and some fruit and vegetables that a resistance fighter had placed on a tree stump obviously serving as a table.

Part of him was ashamed to have to stoop to steal someone's meal, but he didn't have the luxury of having such scruples.

He couldn't get out of his hiding place without someone intercepting him, so he tried to fly as discreetly as possible. He was still weak in the Force but he felt capable of it. The whole thing being not to be spotted, he chased in the corner of his head the image of a Resistant seeing his protein bar pass before his nose and concentrated. He visualized the Force, he felt it better, a sort of ocean that vibrated in him. It started to spread its current towards the bar little by little. After what seemed like forever, he saw the bar rise in the air and begin to advance towards him. She was on the verge of the bush when suddenly--

"Hey !"

_Shit_

He saw Finn appear.

Ben curled up in his bush, releasing his attention and the bar fell back into the peat.

But obviously Finn hadn't noticed anything, he had started the conversation with one of his brothers in arms.

He breathed when the young man walked away. He only had to reach out to grab the bar.

He began to eat it while walking, following Finn from afar. If anyone had to know where Finn was, it had to be him. Or Dameron.

The jungle began to clear and lead to what looked like a rocky complex. He saw Finn go inside. Obviously the rock was dug in several caves.

He saw other resistance fighters whom they knew from their position in the hierarchy of the Resistance and from the spy reports of the First Order. He spotted the history teacher that General Parnadee knew, he chatted happily with Chewie.

Ben felt a twinge of heart again. He would have given anything at that moment to run in the arms of his uncle and hug in his fur so that he reassured him and promised him that everything would be fine. But it was impossible, especially if he was thinking about their last meeting, in an interrogation room on his ship.He spotted another familiar head he hadn't seen in years: uncle Lando. The twinge in the heart increased, it had been so long. He had missed it, he admitted. Lando considered him to be his own son and cherished him. Whenever he came home or his family went to the cloud city he no longer saw the passing of time.

His uncle had grown older, he noted with sadness. He always had the same haughty gait but Ben wasn't mistaken, he was tired by life.

He had so much to say to him, first of all thanking him for the blaster he had given him so long ago. He had always kept the blaster with him, even after Snoke had forced him to get rid of all of his memories and possessions from his _previous_ life. It was thanks to this blaster that he had been able to take down some of the Emperor's Sith imperial guards before he faced his knights.

He shook his head, chasing away his memories. He couldn't face them yet, if the Force was with him one day he could.

The caves clearly served as a command center. He saw several resistance fighters and officers pass by, some stayed for lunch, others left.

He spent several hours observing them from afar, chewing on his protein bar and the Jogan fruit he had dropped from a tree. He hardly saw them except when one of them approached the opening of the cave which overlooked the jungle. And part of his sight was blocked by a certain coral vessel, a real _piece of junk_.

Seeing the father ship again made his remorse for his father resurface. He would like to be able to go back and be able to fly with him, Chewie and Lando like when he was little.

After a while, in the middle of the afternoon, he was tired of waiting in the thickets. He looked around him: no one. The air training had stopped a little and in the air there was a smell of food. Obviously it was time for the lunch break.

He still had the iron bar, it hampered his movements but he had only that to defend himself. He came out of the thickets at full speed, running silently through the soft earth and stopped when he had reached the stone. He pressed his back against it and glanced through the opening inside.

It was dark, he didn't see much. He finally saw them: they turned their backs on him, seated on chairs where on the floor conversing with each other.

He made up his mind in a fraction of a second: he slipped inside and took advantage of the ambient darkness to crouch in a corner of the cave. The noise of the conversations covered that of his steps. He hid in the darkest corner behind boxes of electronic equipment.

He listened intently to conversations hoping for clues about Rey. But obviously it was not on the agenda: they were discussing advancements in the creation of new scanning software as it appeared. A woman went on to talk about her fight over First Order bank accounts and how complicated it was.

 _Good luck_ , he thought. He had never really dealt with the funding of the Order or how and where resources were hidden. The little he knew was that it was _opaque_.

He spent several hours hoping that at one point or another he would hear something interesting. But the main part of the meal was spent with jokes they told themselves or memories of missions, battles or comrades fallen in combat.

He stayed there for hours, listening to discussions that had no interest in him, making himself as small as possible trying to breathe as quietly as possible.

He was frightened at one point: a tiny old woman with orange skin so wrinkled that she seemed to fall to dust had arrived and had turned her head towards him so quickly that he was convinced that she had unmasked him . But she wasn't really looking at him, she was scrutinizing the corner he had sunk into. Eventually she turned her head and left her field of vision.

Ben realized that he had instinctively held his breath when he took a deep breath. He could feel the old woman's signature in the Force, it shone much more clearly than those of the other people around her. She had to be Force sensitive, like his knights.

_Great ... Like i don't have enough problems..._

If she was really sensitive to the Force it was only a matter of time before he was discovered. No doubt even it was already too late, he was sure she had spotted him.

He was more and more uncomfortable: he hardly recognized anyone, he had no data on them, he didn't know what to expect from them. Annoyed with himself, he let his head fall back against the rock, he should have been more assiduous during meetings with the intelligence service, so he could have remembered a few faces and a few names.

He had to get out of the cave now before the weird lady gave the alert.

A chance: the afternoon was coming to an end and there were fewer people in the cave, the closest to him was about twenty meters away and she turned her back to him, plunged into her task, headphones on the ears.

_You can do it_

He slowly unfolded his legs and left his corner, the setting sun behind the trees added shadows which made it easier for him to hide.

On tiptoe he gradually approached the entrance. It housed the rock wall, trying to blend with it.

He was almost there when the iron bar brushed against the stone and squeaked. 

He froze instantly, the resistant had raised her head to the screech, removed one of its headphones and looked behind her shoulder:

"There is someone ?"

Ben tried to fuse even more and sent a current through the Force towards him to appease him. He did not know if he had succeeded or if the resistant not hearing new noises had decided that it was nothing but in any case she put her earpiece back on her ear and resumed her work.

Ben got out of the cave as quickly as possible and started running in the direction of the jungle. He ran until the cave was out of sight and stopped to catch his breath.He went back down to the village, and grabbed some food and a cotton cloth that was lying around, it could still be used.

The next day he woke up at dawn with the song of birds, he was barely stiff in spite of the uncomfortable position he had taken during the night because of the tree. He had spent his nights in recent years on a hard horizontal surface. No mattress, no sheets, no pillows.

 _Suffering will make you stronger,_ Snoke had taught him.

He didn't try to go back to the cave, it was too risky to try to sneak in again.

He preferred to target certain resistance fighters and follow them on the move in order to try to listen to their conversations.

The method turned out to be almost ineffective: he had to make sure not to be spotted and he was thus almost always too far away from being able to understand what was being said.

The little that he intercepted made him understand that only a few people knew where Rey was. Most of the resistance fighters didn't talk about her or if he did it was to express their amazement. He was going to have to target better.

The next day he spotted Finn and Dameron walking alone in the jungle. To Ben's surprise, they did not follow the usual path that passed through the landing areas. Instead they cut through the jungle.  
Ben wondered if he hadn't been discovered. He thought back to the old woman: she may have warned Dameron.

He had climbed a tree and was hiding in the leaves. He saw the two men pass below, chatting animatedly. Ben relaxed when he saw that neither of them was on the alert. It was a walk with a friend.

He let them pass and waited until they were far enough but not out of sight to jump quickly in two leaps at the foot of the tree. His last night meditation sessions had done him the greatest good and he felt hour by hour the Force irrigating him more and more.

He began to follow them, in a few strides he had joined them.

The discussion was lively, apparently Finn doubted him as a General and Poe struggled to prove to him that he was wrong. _General ?! Well nice promotion Finn!_ thought Ben

It was easy to follow them, the two men walking slowly, stopping at times to argue on this or that point.

Dameron ends up telling Finn how much the death of a man named Snap broke him and that he had drunk coral whiskey to drown his sorrow. Whiskey he had found in the _Falcon_! _His father's whiskey!_

 _Let's go, don't be shy_! Ben thought bitterly. He was angry almost immediately: he had sworn to end his mood swings and hatred. And at the slightest opportunity he failed miserably.

He had to admit his surprise when he saw Dameron express his suffering at the loss of a friend. He had always seen him as the archetype of the arrogant pilot, perfect mouth and devastating humor in addition but the more he saw him the more he found him human. Reflection made Ben didn't hate Dameron because he had tried to kill him many times - it was war and everyone wanted to kill everyone - it was because he had the unpleasant impression that Dameron had become the _adopted son_. The son Leia wanted to have in place of the one she had had.

His uncertainties were galloping back. And with it darkness.

 _Concentrate_ , he tried.

"You know it's not true" he heard behind his back.

He turned his head so quickly that a slight creak was heard.

Leia looked at him with her hand resting on a tree, her lowered hood revealing her face, her dress swaying slightly with the humid breeze of the jungle.

"I never wanted to replace you with Poe. Even after all that happened." she went on, advancing towards him. "And if I considered him a son it was always _in addition_ to you. _Not in place of you_."

Ben swallowed nervously and glanced at the two men he was watching: Finn had taken Dameron in his arms and consoled him.

 _Why are you here ?_ he asked silently in his head.

"You were losing your feet again, your inferiority complex is how you started to sink the last time. I would not make the same mistake twice by letting you sink Ben." said his mother firmly.

Ben bowed his head so that she wouldn't see his tears of regret.

She lifted his chin, her gaze lost in her son's amber eyes:

"I know it's hard and it will be hard for a long time but fight!"

Ben nodded gently. Leia smiled to the fullest: "You know if you can not _kick Poe's behind_ \- she pressed the name well to show Ben that calling Dameron didn't help the problem - I'm sure you will become great friends. You look a lot more alike than you think. "

Ben narrowed his eyes, nose and mouth and glanced at Dameron.

_Don't ask me too much ..._

He heard a stifled laugh when he turned around his mother was gone.

Pity. He was about to ask her where Rey was, he hadn't foolishly thought about it until now but when she saw it the idea had occurred to him.

He returned his attention to the two men who had left but only a few steps. They were talking more calmly. Poe looked sad, he didn't look like him. 

Ben felt his nervousness, even from where he was Ben could see it: he swallowed nervously and glanced furtively at his friend. 

"--it's over between me and Zorii--" 

Ben stopped dead, he didn't want to hear Dameron talk about his heartache in the slightest. 

Finn not visibly either, the young man suddenly seemed sad. 

_ Sad ? That's weird  _

Ben hesitated but finally he tried to capture what was happening. He was having a little trouble, he didn't have the fluidity before but it would do. He found what he was looking for right away: Poe's thoughts were in turmoil. He hesitated. 

It took a little while for Ben to figure it out before the image of Finn came into his head and then he understood. Poe was in love with Finn. And obviously he dared not confess to him. 

And on Finn's side ... The latter was relieved that Poe was single again but worried about a potential new crush. 

The two men were in love with each other but neither dared to take the first step. 

Ben sighed, he wasn't t here to take care of all the love life in the camp but a part of him worried about them, he understood the pain of bringing out a love for someone without being able to tell him. 

Apparently the confidences would not be for today, a beeper had just gone off and the two men ran off. 

Ben's stomach turned, _what was going on?_

It was about Rey. _Was she okay?_

"--I don't like her being alone on Tatooine--" Ben barely heard Poe respond but Tatooine clicked in his ears. 

He finally had the information he was looking for, but he wasn't satisfied with it.

He immediately left them and took the path that returned to the waterfall.

He needed to think.

But what was she doing over there? We weren't going to Tatooine on vacation, we weren't going to rest. Non Tatooine was only a sinister desert, a den for outlaws wishing to go unnoticed. We only went there if we had shady things or if we wanted to die. The few who managed to raise enough money to start a new life elsewhere left as soon as they could. We didn't live old on this planet.

So why by the Force, in the name of what gods did his Rey have been buried there?

She didn't know anyone there. He was just another Jakku for her and he knew how much she hated this place.

The only possible explanation was that she went there because she was alone. It broke his heart.

He had an interest in finding a way to reach her as quickly as possible. An idea began to germinate in his head. A crazy idea that would certainly get him killed but after all _never tells me_ _the odds_ thought Ben with a smile on his face.

დდდდდდ

_Arkanis_

The rain was pouring down on Arkanis City, a veritable deluge which transformed the dark alleyway into a mud pool. Nobody paid any attention to the hooded figure who strode across the alley. For that it would have been necessary that someone was outside but between the rain and the sinister reputation of this district there was no soul alive.

The figure wasn't worried about being seen, she was one of the best in her field, when she left her date no one would remember that she had been there.

She entered a seedy cantina. She sneaked among the bounty hunters and other criminals and walked to a corner of the room, towards a sort of alcove that offered a minimum of privacy.

She ordered a muddy cocktail that she didn't intend to touch and paid for immediately.

She sat on one of the worn benches in front of the person she had come to see.

For long minutes she said nothing, increasing the obvious uneasiness of her interlocutor. She contemplated her for a long time, the war had not succeeded, at least before last month. It's crazy how a month can make a difference in people's looks.

"Do you bring me news Bazine?"

Bazine immediately raised her hand to silence her: "No name!"

Her partner immediately fell silent and curled up as if she had been whipped.

Bazine took pleasure in watching her slyly. She had known Carise Sindian dapper and well dressed, she now had before her a person who held more of the slut than the great lady. Her hair had seen better days and hung pitifully on both sides of his face, dull and dull. She seemed exhausted and exhausted, her clothes stained with mud, far from the magnificent outfits that Bazine had always seen her drawn.

"How much longer will I have to wait?" Carint whines. "I have enough !"

Bazine sniffed contemptuously, God she was annoying!

"I can't stay hidden here forever in this crib, it's a torture!"

"I thought we had agreed that you should stay away from the provincial capital"

"Province ?!"

Carise's face expressed a mixture of shock and disgust. We could also have told her that she should work.

Bazine sighed with exasperation:

"Do I remind you that with the fall of the First Order you are probably wanted now? Or are you so foolish as to believe that the Resistance fighters will leave you alone despite the role you have played?"

"The only person who could harm me is Leia Organa. And she is _dead_ " replied Carise with a wicked smile.

"And you are stupid to believe that a woman like her did not cover her back!" replied Bazine.

For the first time since the start of the meeting, Bazine saw fear pass through Carise's eyes. She knew Senator Organa quite well when they were both senators.

Carise had spent her time trying to maintain a relationship of friendship with her even if they did not belong to the same political faction. Not because she admired her - even as her journey, her bravery and the way she fought for the causes close to her heart impressed her - but because they were both princesses of ancient and rare nobility. Carise's hopes had quickly changed to collapse when she realized that Senator Organa had nothing to do with titles and honors and that she didn't consider herself superior to the others.

Carise had inherited the throne of Birren (a symbolic honor more than anything else, the governor of Birren having no political weight) after the death of Lord Mellowyn. Originally it was Senator Organa who was to inherit it since Mellowyn was without an heir. But to Carise's delight, Leia Organa had declined and it was she, Lady Carise Sindian, who had the next in line of succession. The keeper of Birren's secrets.

"That _bitch_ ," whispered Carise.

Bazine smiles sadistically."Oh it's true I forgot: it was she who made you withdraw your titles of nobility"

Bazine hadn't forgotten at all but she reveled in seeing the fury appear on Carise's face.

Carise in becoming governor of Birren had sworn to keep the secrets of the royal treasury. Thus she had in her hands a recording of Bail Organa which intended it for her darling daughter and in which he revealed the secrets of her adoption with among other things the fact that she is the daughter of Darth Vader.

Carise understood the devastating potential that this recording had, especially when Leia Organa and her party were going to win the elections.

She had manipulated one of her fellow senators, an ambitious youngster who was working on an investigation with Leia and he had revealed everything in the Senate. Carise wasn't worried but Leia immediately understood where the recording could come from. She had contacted the council of the Elder Houses which had no power but which could however exclude a noblewomen and withdraw her titles of nobility to her if it was proven that she had committed a serious fault. Carise had violated her oath to never to reveal the secrets that were in her care, so Leia had obtained her forfeiture.

Dame Carise Sindian had therefore officially become Carise Sindian. A downfall.

The humiliation was still alive in Carise. Her title of nobility as obsolete as it was, was what distinguished her from ordinary people.

"So your _highness_ , I suggest you stop complaining like a little girl and waste my time."

The tone was so sly that Carise fell silent.

Bazine ends up pushing a holographic cube towards Carise

"Here are your orders. Obey them. Stay hidden here."

Carise sniffed: "When will I leave for Kuat?"

"Soon. _He_ has plans for you, you won't be left behind."

"It would be better after all that I have done for our cause. And with all that I know ..." Carise threatened

"You should avoid making threats, it doesn't suit you at all." replied Bazine coldly without appearing the least bit moved by Carise's threats.

She got up, leaving her cocktail intact.

"I leave you. I have to do, people like you to find"

Carise nodded silently.

Bazine pushed the curtain out of the alcove and was about to return to the common room when she looked back mischievously:

"By the way: _all my condolences_. You must miss him very much, choose better next time."

With a satisfied little laugh Bazine planted Carise there and melted into the crowd of people.

Carise stood there staring at the full glass in front of her, clenching her fists violently. She repressed her tears. She, Carise Sindian would not cry in public.

And yet she missed him, he had promised her the galaxy and now he was gone.

Never again would she accompany him to social evenings, she in full evening dress, generally a sumptuous sheath dress which revealed her shoulders and him in military dress, his reddish hair pulled back. Never again would they stand at the top of the grand staircase waiting for their names to be announced, a feeling of superiority floating around them. Never again would he extend her gloved hand to her with a satisfied little grin, murmuring "My lady", never again would he waltz with her around the room.

She would make them pay. Oh yes, the Resistance would pay. And expensive.

დდდდდდ

_On the way to Ajan Kloss_

Rey brought his X-wing out of hyperspace into orbit from Ajan Kloss.

36 hours earlier she was still on Tatooine continuing her routine. She had spent hours studying the chain theorem and translating the explanatory texts. What she had discovered was beyond comprehension: from what she had understood, there existed in the Force a place where time and space were connected. According to the partial notes of the former Jedi masters, she had managed to assimilate that certain planets had access to this mythical space. Among these planets were Exegol and Ach-To. Logic. The planet Sith and its equivalent in the light side, the planet Jedi Ach-To. An eternal balance.

Rey was enthusiastic about this discovery, she loved this kind of secrets. Maybe I could even find answers to my questions, she thought. Why do I sometimes feel Ben's presence? Why do I still feel our communication when he is dead?

Leia and Luke had not reappeared before her, she no longer knew where to turn.

She thought quickly: these friends wanted to see her again to keep her informed of the missions and she had to settle the details of her participation. Finn apparently had things to tell her and Maz had to give her what Leia had left. And now she had one more reason to return to base: she needed Beaumont and her knowledge to learn more about certain obscure passages.

It was decided!

She prepared the things she wanted to take: first of all, sacred books and rations. She went around the vegetable garden and picked up the ripe vegetables and put them in the reserve so that they could be kept. She went around the vaporators and put them in automatic mode. She activated the alarm and defense systems around the property to deter looters.

This last precaution was more for form than anything else. The farm had a reputation for being cursed and no one dared to approach it.

Should she warn her friends? On reflection she preferred to surprise them.

"BB-8 how about going on a trip?"

BB-8 made a series of looping sounds showing its excitement.

"How would you like to see Poe again?"

The small sphere was already spinning towards the door, waiting near the steps for Rey to levitate it until the upper floor. Once at the top BB-8 rushed to the plane and began to make adjustments and checks.

Rey winced as she looked at the maps: she would have to go up the entire Triellus hyperspace trade route to join Ajan Kloss. And it would not be a simple flight where we were on autopilot: this route was renowned for serving cartels and pirates. She will have to be particularly vigilant. She also spotted a few outposts along the road where she could stop to fill up with fuel and rations if needed.

She had taken off after having contemplated the suns for the last time, it was not a farewell, she would be back in a short time.

She had expected a painful and tiring flight. Tired she was but she hadn't had any bad meetings. She had contacted her friends once the flight had started.

Finn literally gasped when he heard the news.

She thought of her friends when she came out of hyperspace, in more than a year it was the first time that they had been separated for so long. She missed them, even if they would never understand her like Ben.

_Ben_

Puzzled, Rey felt something in the jungle that she was flying over to reach the landing point that a droid had transmitted to her.

This aura in the Force ... It came from the trees. She felt Ben's signature, vibrant and passionate.

Here it was again!

But this time something was different: through the Force she could almost touch Ben's aura as if he were nearby. She also felt the energetic signatures of her friends.

For the umpteenth time a feeling of hope invades Rey when she had sworn to banish this feeling.

She felt him.

He was there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little question : 1-Have you guessed who Carise's companion was? Red, shiny hair, impeccable uniform, arrogant ???? 😉😉😉  
> [King Ech-Char](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Ech-Char)
> 
> [Elder Houses](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Elder_Houses)
> 
> [Bazine](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Bazine_Netals)
> 
> [Whiskey](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Corellian_whiskey/Legends)
> 
> [Jogan fruit](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Jogan_fruit/Legends)
> 
> [Triellus Route](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Triellus_Trade_Route/Legends)
> 
> [Wetland stormtrooper](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Wetland_assault_stormtrooper)
> 
> [Flechette Launcher](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/FC-1_flechette_launcher/Legends)
> 
> [Mon Cala](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Mon_Cala)
> 
> [Quarren](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Quarren)
> 
> [Chronicles of Brus-bu](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Chronicles_of_Brus-bu)
> 
> [Rammahgon](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Rammahgon)


	11. A Game of Fool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey goes to find Ben on Ajan Kloss.  
> In a word: a melody of blue butterflies on a bathing background

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone ! I hope you are well! Take care of yourself above all!
> 
> Here is a short chapter to make you wait. I know it's short but I didn't want to put the next chapter in it because otherwise, it was going to be really long!
> 
> I have less time to write, I make smocks for the nursing staff who are lacking and it takes me a lot of time. But don't worry I keep writing in a notebook and the next chapters are already written and I just have to type them on my computer.
> 
> A little spoiler: the next chapter is the meeting - finally - of our two lovebirds! 🥳🤩😍
> 
> Thank you so much for your kudos !!!!!

The canopy of the plane had barely finished opening when Rey sprang from it and fell into the arms of her friends who were waiting for her.

"I missed you, you know," Finn whispered in her ear, hugging her close, spinning her gently, laughing out loud.

"I know I know, me too" replied Rey hastily as she passed Finn's arms to Poe's.

"It's good that you got home," said Poe. "I'm starting-- BB-8 !!!! Buddy !!!!!"

Poe rushed towards his droid which was tumbling down from the plane, rolling in the legs of the people who were between him and Poe, beeping like a bumblebee.

"Rhaa I missed you bud" growled Poe, scratching the little sphere which beeped with enthusiasm by surrounding Poe.

BB-8 beeped a question which Poe answered with a laugh, resting his head on that of the droid:

"No, I didn't replace you with R2. You are still my favorite. There is only you, I promised!"

Reassured BB-8 pulled away and went around the reception committee to greet them with a series of beeps.

He stopped in front of Finn and seemed to be looking for someone.

"Rose is working she will arrive." replied the young man, bending down to greet him with a thumbs-up. To which BB-8 responded cheerfully with its small mechanical arm and its lighter.

Rey watched their reunion with a smile, she had missed them all very much and she didn't feel like explaining to all her friends that she was coming back for a short time. She didn't want to spoil their joys.

She vaguely accepted the hugs, holding out her hands to whoever wanted to shake them. Her head was spinning, too much emotion was surging inside her. Emotions that did not belong to her for the most part.

Now that she was no longer alone, she set out to re-establish her mental shields which prevented her from being too assailed by the states of mind of all her comrades. Being sensitive to the Force caused this disadvantage: in a public place one felt all the psychic states of each individual and it could be completely paralyzing to suddenly feel all this flow of emotions and energies. Leia had taught her to erect her shields with patience. At first she only partially succeeded, or else she succeeded so well that she could no longer remove them.

Distracted, she focused on Ben's energy signature. It was still there, very real and vibrant, meandering among the trees, at the edge of the jungle. There was no longer any possible doubt.

She was going to have to play tight.

"Poe? Tell me who did you capture on Exegol?" she asked carefully.

Poe stopped walking and looked at her in surprise, his eyebrows raised:

"What are you talking about Rey?"

"You told me that the mission on Exegol had been shortened because of problems, I said to myself that you may have taken prisoners ..."

Poe shook his head, his surprise dissipated:

"Not at all! That's not why the mission was interrupted. We'll talk about it later."

It was Rey's turn to be surprised, _if Ben had not been captured how could he be there?_

Poe frowned, puzzled:

"Why did you believe such a thing?"

"For nothing, for nothing!" she hastened to answer. The last thing she needed was for Poe to have suspicion. "I must have misunderstood."

Rey tried to relax so as not to appear suspicious. _Too tense. You have to calm down or they'll end up finding it weird._

The discomfort subsided and Rey continued to advance towards the village in noisy company. Her friends shouted, "Rey is there!" And other resistance fighters came to greet her and join the escort. She barely noticed the many changes that had taken place since his departure. His brain was running at full speed trying to find a way to slip away in search of Ben without raising suspicion.

"You'll see there are a lot of new things here!" Finn babbled. "The village is no--

Rey picked up and listened with only one ear.

"--a new clearing with Jogan fruit trees, it's so good! Oh and the porgs have made a few babe and you absolutely have to see the--"

"It looks _really great_ but I have something very important to do before"

Everyone stopped dead and stared at Rey.

"You have just arrived," Beaumont argued puzzled as exclamations and disappointed sighs rose from the group. "We have lots of things to say to each other, besides you haven't even seen the girls, they're in very--"

"I only have her for a few hours, friends. It's just that I - she was looking for a convincing explanation and said the first thing in her head - I have a Jedi ritual to perform."

"What do you mean ?" Poe asked in a slightly accusing tone, arms crossed over his chest.

"A ritual of memory" explained Rey firmly to him with a calm and a balance that she was far from feeling. "I would like to go meditate for a few hours in the jungle in order to honor Leia's memory and become one with the Force."

"Oh" Poe dropped his arms and his expression softened instantly.

Finn nodded quickly, understanding:

"You should go then."

Rey smiled gratefully even if she felt a hint of guilt in her chest: she hated the idea of manipulating them to this point and especially of using Leia for that.

"We're going to have a little party tonight." Jayelle announced. "Don't you want to come? Nothing too big, it's just for promotions."

The troop approved, disappointed whispers were rising from both sides.

Finn looked at her with pleading eyes: "Please please please _pleeeeeease_ "

Poe meanwhile made a half-sad half-bewitching pout while begging her with a look.

Rey sighed, she had little choice, refusing to go would only worry her friends and create suspicion.

"Very well! I would be! Happy?"

Finn jiggled a little "Yes yes yes"

"But it is out of the question that I participate in your stupid alcohol games" she added, pointing an accusing index for the benefit of Finn, Poe and some pilots.

"Who? We ?" Poe defended himself comically, one hand on his heart, with a falsely outraged grimace.

Rey shook his head laughing and headed for the jungle.

"Hey Rey! Take this!"

Rey looked over his shoulder and saw that Beaumont handed him his communicator.

"Thanks, see you later !"

They watched her sink into the jungle.

"She was weird right?" Beaumont pointed out. He was not the only one to share this feeling, Poe and Finn especially looked puzzled.

Finn still hadn't had a chance to tell the young woman verbally that he was Force-sensitive. Or at least that's what he believed. Since this discovery, he was trying to experiment and he had some success in deciphering the body language and the emotions of the people who had him in front of him. He could tell if they were relaxed, angry, worried, stressed, and he got better and better at distinguishing when someone was hiding something.

Uncomfortable he had felt this feeling being facing Rey. He couldn't get the impression that she hadn't been outspoken when she claimed to have Jedi stuff to do.

He promised to touch the others with two words later. He had this feeling in his stomach again: he had a bad feeling. Something was wrong.

Before anyone could answer, Rose appeared at the end of the road with Kaydel. The two of them were breathless from running, but they wore a big smile.

"Where's Rey?" They looked for it, tiptoeing to see if she wasn't hidden by the boys' shoulders. Their smiles fading when they notice his absence. "We thought she had just arrived?"

Finn raised his hands in the air to say _Sorry girls_ : "She's already gone"

Rey was striding along, brushing aside the ferns that stood in her way.

She smiles when she realizes that she was doing exactly the same thing that Ben had done on Pasaana: she concentrated on his signature in the Force, letting herself be guided, a little as if she was tracking him. Ben had done the same aboard his Tie Silencer in the desert.

She passed near her training circuit and spotted the tree where the red ribbon hung that she had to recover in the past.

He was gone. No doubt swept away by the tropical wind.

She had her last training here just over a month ago. It seemed so close and so far at the same time ...

She felt Ben's signature pulsing along the river that ran below.

She took a shortcut that went down to her and started to roll up her bed.

The freshness did her good, she savored the rays of the sun falling on her naked skin. The walk was pleasant: the shadows of the jungle, the song of the running stream and the birds, blue butterflies flying around her. That was what she lacked on Tatooine: the greenery, the water, the moss, the vegetation, the flamboyant tropical life.

Ben's aura grew brighter as she went on, she became almost solid. She accelerated her pace, jumping from rocks to rocks with ease. The butterflies continued to flutter lazily around her, some even landing on her at times.

In the distance, she saw that the stream widened into a small lake. She heard the roar of a waterfall dominating the soothing gurgling of the stream.

She felt Ben powerfully, she felt a carefree feeling in her chest which was not hers. If it was really Ben, then right now he was reveling in something.

_If it was him ..._

She wanted to believe it so badly. After so many disappointed hopes in the past few weeks, she was attached to this ultimate hope.

Impatient, she started to run, the blue butterflies in her wake.

Ben began to undress. He had the idea of swimming under the waterfall. A little freshness would do him good. He was way too hot, his clothes were sticking to his skin. He was not dressed for a hot, humid tropical climate. He had therefore "borrowed" clothes that were drying on a rope near the village. The size was not the right one, probably it would be cramped but at least he would no longer have to wear his black sweater.

By removing his pants his closure was caught in the red link he wore on his right wrist. He fought with it to recover it without tearing it apart.

He had found it while exploring the jungle, hanging a few meters from the ground in a tree.

Ben had felt the residual traces of Rey's presence in the area. It was fleeting, she had not set foot in this place for a long time.

Intrigued, he climbed the tree and perched on the branch as he used to do at the temple of Luke. He could spend hours climbing trees, jumping from branch to branch until he found the perfect place to meditate.

He had untied the tape and examined it. It was nothing extraordinary, it was a simple rag ribbon but he felt the presence of Rey on it. She must have used the fabric. He had brought it to his nose and had taken a deep breath while closing his eyes, trying to work with the Force.

Tense, he wondered what Rey would think if she saw him right now, on the verge of having an erection while holding a simple ribbon.

She would no doubt find him pathetic, he concluded sadly.

He had come down from the tree in a large and graceful jump and after much thought, he had decided to keep the ribbon. He had tied it on his wrist, letting the ends hang in the air. He had the slight impression that Rey was still with him. A very small consolation.

He untied the tape not wanting to wet it, took off his boxers and plunged suddenly into the water without taking the time to get used to the temperature of the water.

The contrast between the warm water and his burning skin surprised him at first but it was not unpleasant.

He stood still for a few minutes, letting himself be carried, it felt good.

He crawled from one end of the pond to the other to relax his slightly sore muscles because of the night he had spent on an uncomfortable piece of wood.

He finally went back to the waterfall where he had left his things and grabbed a piece of soap that he had pilfered. He began to shampoo under the fall lathering the soap under the water.

The powerful jet of waterfall hammered endlessly his muscular shoulders and back. He clenched his teeth under the effort enduring the repeated blows.

He gradually felt his muscles relax and a pleasant torpor invade him.

He felt good.

He continued to wash, enjoying the rays of the warming sun, the melodious songs of the birds and the lazy flight of these pretty blue butterflies.

He ran his hand over his face and saw that a three-day beard had covered his cheeks.

He looked at himself in the water, he had the impression of seeing a stranger, older and at the same time more relaxed. The beard was not too bad, it made him look more mature.

He jumped into the water and began to rinse himself by splashing with big jets, hitting his chest in a typically masculine manly gesture.

He ends up making a few movements of his arms to stretch, groaning, beating the air as if he were swimming in the void.

It was then that he stretched by rotating his torso from right to left that his gaze fell on the entrance to the pond where the stream flowed a few meters away. 

More precisely on the lonely and familiar female figure who had just appeared there, surrounded by sun and blue butterflies ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Jayelle](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Jayelle)


	12. Run to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She just had time to see a glimmer of defiance and resolve pass through his eyes before his lips came to rest carefully on hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I hope you and your loved ones are well! Thanks for the kudos !!!!! Feel free to comment to tell me what you like or what you don't like!
> 
> That's it !!!! Our babies are together !!!!! I'm so impatient for the future, I'm also writing the first smut of this work it takes me time since i have never done that yet!
> 
> I am writing another reylo story in parallel but in the modern era. It will be called [The Lawyers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23750245/chapters/57040792)  
> and it will be an adaptation of "Star wars" of the movie "Laws of attraction". I would alternate the updates of a story and then the other.
> 
> The chapter name comes from the famous song by Whitney Houston. I find that each line of the song corresponds very well to Rey, I let you judge:
> 
> "I know that when you look at me  
> There's so much that you just don't see  
> But if you would only take the time  
> I know in my heart you'd find  
> A girl who's scared sometimes
> 
> Who isn't always strong  
> Can't you see the hurt in me?  
> I feel so all alone
> 
> I wanna run to you  
> I wanna run to you  
> Won't you hold me in your arms  
> And keep me safe from harm  
> I wanna run to you  
> But if I come to you  
> Tell me, will you stay or will you run away
> 
> Each day, each day I play the role  
> Of someone always in control  
> But at night I come home and turn the key  
> There's nobody there, no one cares for me  
> What's the sense of trying hard to find your dreams
> 
> Without someone to share it with  
> Tell me what does it mean?
> 
> I need you here  
> I need you here to wipe away my tears  
> To kiss away my fears  
> If you only knew how much..."
> 
> Literally it's Rey: Rey who feels alone, who must pretend to be strong, who hides her fears who has the impression that no one really knows her except Ben.

Time seemed to have stopped.

The rays of the sun fell gently on the trees, casting soft shadows or passing between the gaps in the foliage, warming the ground, and the water which they dangled and sparkled like an Ankarres sapphire.

They looked at each other for what seemed like long minutes, dumbfounded, shocked, incredulous.

Everyone dared not move for fear of shattering this dream appearance.

_Was he really there?_

_Was it really her?_

Ben stared at Rey as if he was seeing her for the very first time.

The rays of the sun fell around her making her radiate. She was even more beautiful than in her memories: her white and light tunic whose sides floated on the sides giving her the appearance of a goddess straight out of her wildest fantasies.

She beamed surrounded by small blue dots - butterflies.

She wore a belt that wrapped her waist so thin and then wrapped around her right thigh where a weapon was attached. The set gave it a particularly sexy adventurous side.

He noticed on her belt a lightsaber that he had never seen before, it was neither that of his uncle nor that he had seen Rey use on Exegol.

Obviously Rey had built her own saber. He couldn't see it too far, but it seemed to him that the structure was quite complex.

She had built it alone, he was impressed. A feeling of pride broke out in his chest. _Force_ he loved her so much! He loved her more and more every day if it was possible.

My little scavenger, so strong and so courageous!

_Mine._

His gaze rose from her legs to the top of her body. He wrapped his gaze around her hips so deliciously arched, whose curvature was accentuated by her belt. He wanted to spend more time looking at the rest of her chest, her flat belly hidden by the fine fabric of her tunic, her chest ... but he knew that if he ventured further he would lose control.

He concentrated on her face instead. Her beautiful face, the last thing he had admired before she died.

He couldn't see her freckles in the distance on her beautiful skin golden with the sun but he knew they were there, he had memorized every millimeter. Her freckles were one of the things about her that made her heart capsize when he saw her. Among others.

Her adorable nose he wanted to kiss, her cheeks so soft, her lips ... _Force_ her lips so round and so pink that he was burning to devour again. Just remembering their first kiss he felt his stomach go up and down.

He looked up again and their eyes met and locked. They never left each other. He was too far away to distinguish the emotions that must have bubbled behind those hazel eyes that had repeatedly made him lose his footing when he questioned her, in the elevator that led them to their destinies towards Snoke, on Exegol...

He was ready to do anything to get closer to her and plunge his gaze back into her star-filled eyes, to have her near him, to feel her heart speed up when she pronounced his name, to pass his hands in these adorable little buns.

He felt the Force in him much more than the previous days.

 _She's the one who made it for me_ , he realized with adoration.

She made him stronger, stronger than ever. His dyad was finally here. He felt their bond was singing through the Force and coming back to life.

He finally felt whole.

He felt that if he pushed a little he could enter into mental communication with her.

 _Sweetheart_ he thought with all his might. But he saw with sadness that she was blocking him, she had erected her mental shields.

The smug smile he wore began to fade when he noticed that Rey still didn't move.

 _What if she forgot me?_ he thought uncertainly.

Rey couldn't believe her eyes. He was there and could not be more alive.

She no longer knew how to move, she was not even sure that she could still do it or formulate coherent thoughts.

All she knew was that her heart started to scream in her chest when she appeared around a rock.

Her brain had frozen when she saw him, like a god, half-naked, dripping with water, the drops remaining attached to his magnificent pale skin.

This time she couldn't take her eyes off his muscular chest. She would lie to herself by pretending that she hadn't dreamed of him that way. She devoured the look of her flat stomach with finely sculpted abs, her pectoral muscles so muscular. Her cheeks were hot, she slapped herself inside and forced herself to look at something else. Her eyes went up to her face, to those lips so full, of an unexpected sweetness which only asked to be kissed and which for the moment sported a blissful smile.

Rey had seen that kind of smile once in her life: at Niima's outpost. One of the other wreckers was injured when he fell from one of the gangways of the ship he was searching for.

After regaining consciousness, it turned out that the violent shock to the head had resulted in visual impairment. The new blind man had been in despair, any disability was synonymous with death on Jakku, nobody was helping you, nobody was looking after you. It was every man for himself, friendships were rare.

But against expectation after a few days, he had regained his sight. Rey hadn't forgotten the man's smile when he was able to see what he was around. He had thanked the sky, the Gods, the stars for this miracle. He had found everything around him to be beautiful including Unkar Plutt and yet the Gods alone know how this repulsive, foul-smelling gelatinous pervert was the exact opposite of the definition of superb.

Ben's smile was that kind of smile. He had already had it on Exegol but in a more discreet and shy way.

There it was the smile of a man who sees the sun for the first time in his life.

Throat-tied Rey realized that Ben's sun was _her_.

Her eyes devoured her gaze and even from a distance, she could see that they glowed with emotions. He stared at her with the same intensity as at each of their meetings and that made her always feel so special when she was close to him. He was one of the rare people to see her. To _really_ see her.

As if she was everything to him. And it was probably the case if she believed these last words " _my love, sweetheart ... thank you for everything. I love you, I will always love you._ " A love declaration...

She detailed him back, there was something changed in him but she couldn't pinpoint exactly what. Was it the way his eyes glowed? Was it the way the sun made his skin glisten with drops of water and moles? Was it his new beard that gave him a scoundrel side and reminded her that he was the worthy son of Han Solo?

Was it just one of these things or all of them combined but he seemed more fulfilled than he had ever seemed to Rey. He no longer had the underlying tension that he expressed most of the time in spite of himself.

He seemed to fill the whole space even more than before.

He was even more attractive. Even more bewitching.

She did not know what to do. She was afraid of breaking everything if she made even a movement. Ben must have thought the same thing because he too seemed to be frozen.

But still, he was not inactive: she felt their mental bond vibrate through the Force and she felt Ben's attempt to access his thoughts. But her shields were still in place and the attempt failed.

From afar she saw her smile disappear. She had hurt him again without wanting to. She lowered her shields a bit and felt his pain.

_You forgot me ?_

She felt her heart sink, feeling his insecurity and sorrow. Seeing him again like that was intolerable to her.

So, instinctively she took a step forward and Ben seemed to do the same to get out of the water.

It was then that Rey realized two things: firstly Ben bathed entirely naked. Secondly, everything about him was muscular and _massive_ ...

He did not know who was the most embarrassed her or him? When he saw Rey advancing towards him he wanted to go to meet her, momentarily forgetting that he was naked.

He had realized by hearing Rey's exclamation and seeing her eyes widening furtively before she looked away, blushing.

Extremely embarrassed Ben covered himself with his hands, making crab steps on the side to catch his clothes.

Considering the warmth of his cheeks he was certain that they had taken on a brick red color. And probably his ears too, seeing how they pricked him but at least they were hidden under his hair.

Biting his lower lip, he wiped himself off as quickly as possible and got dressed at full speed with difficulty, swearing in a low voice, the clothes, not adapted to his build, ripped over his still wet skin.

Rey watched him out of the corner of her eye, her gaze turned to anything and everything but not Ben Solo. And above all, she tried to remove from her head what she had seen.

It was not the concept of nudity that embarrassed her. Life on Jakku was such that they didn't bother with concepts like intimacy. Everyone did what he had to do in the eyes and knowledge of everyone and this in the most perfect indifference. Rey the first. She had seen many naked bodies of it, whether in Niima or in the Resistance. Between the missions, the lack of space and equipment they managed as well as they could and the promiscuity was important. Rey hadn't raised her eyebrows for a long time except that it was _Ben_ and weirdly it was different ...

She waited for him to get dressed and when she looked up he did the same. She noticed his nervousness: he chewed on the inside of his cheeks and swallowed hard as she had seen him do it many times.

She ended up coming off in a fraction of a second, something pushed her to run towards Ben who, seeing her coming towards him, opened her arms wide, ecstatic.

So he was very surprised when Rey began to hammer every inch of his chest with punches between furious words:

"Fucking - Ben - Solo !!!!" Each word was punctuated suddenly.

"You - have - left - me - alone !!" The pounding had become frantic and continuous.

At first surprised, Ben had resigned himself to waiting for Rey to calm down. Through their bond he felt the young woman's pain, she perceived him like a dagger. So he let her do it, she needed it. And a few shares, he felt he deserved in exchange for having forced her to relive the trauma of losing her parents.

Rey ends up stopping hitting him, short of reproaches. Overwhelmed by the emotion she burst into sobs and dropped her head against Ben's chest. He immediately wrapped her in his arms, hugging her to his heart, cradling her tenderly, whispering soothing words in the hollow of his ear.

"Shhh ... hush sweetheart everything is fine ..."

Rey continued to cry, gripping his shirt. Of joy or sadness? He could not say.

"I'm here my love" he continued to chuckle.

"My desert flower ... it's over, it's over ... there ... calm down"

They stayed like that, entwined for long minutes, Rey shaken with hiccups, trying to calm down and Ben who continued to whisper comforting words and slowly caress her back.

He followed his instincts, he was not sure of anything but at that precise moment, reassuring Rey in this way had seemed to him the most right thing to do. He hated to see her cry, it brought him to his knees, he felt a lump in his throat ready to crack.

Rey did not move, she let herself be rocked. She didn't know what it was like to run into Ben while punching out. Everything she had stored in recent weeks had suddenly risen to the surface and exploded without warning.

Ben's voice calmed her, it reminded her of the sound of the waves on Ach-To. It was so calm and so sweet. She heard the sweet nicknames he whispered in her ear. Her heart started to throb and she knew he felt it too. She ended up completely lowering her mental protections and guiding the stream of memories towards him.

She felt him sucking the air brutally when the images reached him. She felt his hands clench on her shoulder blades when he saw her sorrow, her night terrors, her nights spent pondering, crying, regretting what she had done, blaming herself for not having done things differently...

Ben hugged her arms even harder to prove that he was there now and that she would never have to suffer like that again.

He buried his face in the crook of her shoulder and sent back his memories and his dreams to soothe her: she was constantly in thought, always bright, a glow in the night, the sun in the darkness.

Rey felt his pain and guilt for leaving her alone. She gently released herself from their embrace, trying to break his grip.

"Excuse me, it was not fair of me to blame you for your absence" she sniffed wiping the rest of her tears with the back of her hand.

Ben timidly raised his hands and hesitated a little before wiping the salty moisture that covered Rey's cheeks with his thumbs.

She looked up at him: her eyes were shuttling, he was detailing her face. He lowered his head gently and placed a kiss on his forehead, closing his eyes, enjoying the moment.

He straightened up a bit and looked at Rey to see if she was going to stop him. She did not move, her nostrils throbbed, she was short of breath. A strange heat had just arisen in her chest.

Encouraged Ben started again. He placed small furtive kisses on her cheeks, her jaw, hier nose ...

Rey began to giggle at the touch of his tickling beard. His large hands covered her cheeks, _Force what his hands were big_! His thumbs lingered on her mouth, he touched them, gently spreading her lips.

Acting on an impulse Rey nibbled these thumbs, giving him a playful look. Ben started and pulled them away without taking his hand away. Rey turned her head a little and kissed his palm and rubbed her cheek against it. His skin was firm and calloused but nevertheless soft.

When she opened her eyes Ben stared at her with such intensity that she felt like he was going to pierce her. His eyes seemed to have darkened and concentrated on her lips. He had an almost predatory grin. At this precise moment, she had the impression of seeing Kylo Ren before her, intense and enraged.

She just had time to see a glimmer of defiance and resolve pass through his eyes before his lips came to rest carefully on hers.

At first, it was very light, completely hesitant, as light as the touch of a butterfly wing.

And then seeing that neither of them was retracting they went deeper.

Which became frantic, intense. Their lips were crushed together as if they wanted them to seal forever.

Ben no longer hesitated, he dared as he had never dared before.

Each movement of their lips was a sublime caress for these two solitary and bruised beings.

Rey closed her eyes but still saw stars behind. She felt Ben's arms clasp her against him and her hands went up lovingly rummaging through her buns.

She was not outdone: stuck against Ben she did not fall completely against him and maintained her balance by running her hands through her beautiful wet brown curls.

It tasted like Jogan's soap and fruit. She felt it on the tip of her tongue. Their kisses became more and more sensual. Ben moaned under her lips and tried to introduce a new movement with his tongue with great timidity and clumsiness. He felt himself roar when Rey returned each of his kisses, responding enthusiastically, their tongues dancing languidly together.

They were not ready for their bond to be activated even more powerfully, multiplying the sensations, showing what the other needed.

Ben was in seventh heaven! He couldn't believe that finally, it was there! Rey was there and kissed him passionately. He felt himself growing his wings, he wanted to cry out to the entire galaxy, to taunt everyone with his happiness - Dameron first.

Her lips were so soft, so malleable, he wanted to keep tasting them for eternity.

Rey was fighting against tears of happiness: she, who had always told herself that her destiny was to be alone in the world then who had hoped that her dyad with Ben would be the beginning of something new and who had been sorely disappointed, had just discovered pure happiness. She was making up for the lost time by kissing these incredible luscious lips with all her heart and losing herself in those amber whiskey-colored eyes that seemed to light up golden when he looked at her.

After a while they had to detach from each other to breathe. But before releasing Rey, Ben pecked a few quick kisses, laughing.

Panting, disheveled, the bright red lips almost damaged, they looked at each other for a moment in silence, they both had an almost wild, wild look due to desire.

A happy laugh escaped from their chests at the same time and they fell into each other's arms again, rocking against each other. The sound seemed so incongruous in Ben's mouth! Rey couldn't take her eyes off his smile with the irregular teeth that added to his charm.

The smile of a happy and fulfilled man who discovers life. The _true life_. And also a smile of the purest animal satisfaction like that of a predator.

 _It's mine, don't touch_ ! he seemed to say.

"I love you", Rey said simply, smiling tenderly at him, "I missed you so much"

Ben felt that the lump he had had in his throat earlier had returned. He was trying hard not to let his tears take over. He flapped his eyelashes furiously to hold back the treats.

"I love you too Rey" he managed to articulate his knotted throat. "Only you. Always"

He felt lighter after this confession, an enormous weight seemed to have fallen from his chest. He finally said it out loud, not just mentally.

Rey looked at him maliciously: "Even when I hurt you?"

She bit her lips instantly, fearing to have gone too far and to have broken the fragile balance that had just been established between them.

But Ben did not hold it against her because if he was honest with himself he felt attracted to her as soon as he saw her on Takodana. He put his hand to his face and forefinger traced the location of the scar which once blocked his eye and cheek and which was no longer there.

"Even more after that," he admitted. "You already attracted me like a magnet but after that ... Succeeding in fighting when you had never fought before ... I was literally conquered, completely under your spell.

"So _bossy_ ," he finished with a smirk.

Rey wondered if that was why he had chosen to have his wound stitched instead of treating it with a patch of bacta.

Ben read her thoughts and nodded:

"That's it! I knew that the price to pay would be an indelible scar but I wanted to keep track of you in my skin."

Ben's tone was quick. At this precise moment, Rey saw again in him the desperate man he had been. He continued his explanations with great gestures without ever taking his eyes off her.

"At first I pretended that it was to remind me of my mistakes, my weaknesses. But it was a lie!"

l clenched his fist with so much force that its joints cracked and whitened. He struck his chest: "The truth that I didn't want to confess because I was pushing the light away, was that I was already desperately in love with you. You already had my heart and my mind and each time I saw my reflection I saw you "

He continued to touch his cheek, almost regretting that the scar was gone.

Rey took a step forward and grabbed his still clenched fist. He started at her touch but ended up reopening his palm; it was marked by his nails.

Rey took his hand in hers and brought it gently to her lips without breaking eye contact.

Hesitantly she awkwardly kissed each of the scratches.

She felt Ben tremble: "Rey you gonna be the death of me" he groans between his teeth.

He was sure she would finish him, with pleasure, of course, but still finish him.

Rey flushed and bit her lower lip and returned her hand to him and parted a little from him embarrassed by what Ben had implied.

Ben curses himself internally for having broken the mood, he would try to make up for the situation when he notices that the marks on his hand had disappeared. He interrogated Rey with a look:

"I don't like it when you hurt yourself," she explained quickly.

He raised an eyebrow, slyly "It never bothered you in the past". "To hurt me," he said, seeing his puzzled look.

"And you that never prevented you from attacking the Resistance knowing that I could be injured or killed" she returned tact to tact with a fierce look.

Although Ben found this look particularly sexy in her, he preferred to avoid a confrontation with her so quickly. He had the vague intuition that she would still kick his ass. And he _much_ preferred when they kissed.

He tried a diversion: "Look, I know we have a lot of difficult subjects to tackle, but is this really the right time?"

He gave her a pleading look. They finally had the opportunity to speak calmly instead of arguing endlessly. The painful discussions could wait a little.

_Besides, it's been five minutes at least that we haven't kissed and I miss it already._

Rey sighed, "I have to agree with this.

Ben blinked: "Really?" he began to rejoice.

"Yes, we have more urgent problems to solve than our perpetual disputes. We will discuss everything that happened between us later"

 _Ah, that's why she agreed, not to start kissing again. Too bad, maybe later_. Ben tried not to seem too disappointed. "Like what ?"

Rey got angry a little in front of Ben's olympian calm: "Oh I don't know ?! she exclaimed sarcastically." Let's see ... - she pretended to think - "Like the fact that you are hidden on the basis of the Resistance. Like the fact that we have to decide on a plan to get you out of there or like the fact that you are supposed to be dead or the fact that if you are spotted now you will be without doubt judged and executed on the spot or else ... "

Rey never stopped listing. Ben, hitherto relaxed, began to feel a new tension: "Wait, are they not aware of anything?" he asked her incredulously. It was beyond comprehension, he had always been certain that the only family that Rey had had so far was the Resistance and now she had hidden things from them?

"Because you seriously believe I told them about _us_? !! But yes of _course_ !!"

She began to parody an imaginary dialogue: "So listen, everyone! For over a year I have mental communications with the Supreme Leader, we even manage to touch each other from a distance !!! And in fact, it is not so bad that you will see and oh I told you we kissed? !! No? !!! 'You sure? !! Because now we are together! Ah and yes you should see his muscular torso he's so cute !"

Annoyed she turned to Ben who was looking at her, refraining from bursting out laughing. His brain froze as soon as she spoke about _us_ and how she described their relationship.

"Seriously, you see me going to find them now without preparation to present my boyfriend to them after all that I have hidden from them ?! At least we have to work on what you are going to tell them. What ?!" she stopped when she saw Ben's satisfied little grin.

"Did you say 'boyfriend'?"

"Yes, Ben, usually when people kiss and say they love each other the appropriate term to describe them is 'boyfriend, girlfriend or couple'" returned Rey half annoyed half amused.

Ben can't hide his self-righteous grin any longer. He grabbed Rey by the arm and yanked her towards him without her resisting and the moment she crashed against his chest he began to kiss her.

This time there was no hesitation, their lips were moving at full speed, smashing relentlessly. 

Their tongues danced together, savoring each other's taste.

Neither of them wanted to let go but Rey eventually took a step back, quickly sucking in the air. Ben did not stop and attacked Rey's ear by kissing and biting her.

Rey couldn't help but jump at that and Ben's lips went to the crook of her shoulder.

"Where were we?" gasped Rey, who could no longer think clearly, there were only " _oh, yes, still_ " in her brain. Especially after Ben's hands began to circle along her ribs and hips.

"Mhh ... You said you hid your boyfriend from them" hummed Ben in the area between her neck and her shoulder. Feeling Ben's lips there made her feel electric shocks in her stomach and when Ben saw that, he took advantage. He continued to kiss her neck but his lips always came back to nestle in this hollow.

"I had so many opportunities to do it," Rey groans. "And yet I didn't tell them anything. I should have listened to Leia and told them everything after Exegol, that would have made our job easier today."

"We are going to work on the question" replied Ben mechanically who was now kissing the delicate frame of her jaw.

"We have to hide you elsewhere, here it's too risky, anyone who ventures a little could fall on you." managed to articulate Ren between two moans.

"Why not _Tatooine_... since this is where you apparently live." Ben bit her nape a little harder as if he was punishing her.

Rey jerked off her shoulder and looked at Ben in dismay. How did he know? It couldn't have been by their bond, she hadn't thought about it for a moment since their reunion.

By telepathy, Ben felt her astonishment: "I have been here for a few days, I have been spying on your friends. Especially Finn and Dameron"

The atmosphere had suddenly cooled, thinking of Dameron had immediately calmed him and brought him back to reality.

"Poe" corrected Rey automatically, still puzzled. She finally asked the question that he was burning her lips and that she was dying to ask since she had set foot on Ajan.

"How did you get here?"

 _How did you manage to be alive?_ she thought

Ben understands the hidden meaning of the question: "Long story" he sighed, thrust his hands into his pockets.

"That's good I have all my time, I no longer have a Supreme Leader chasing me all over the galaxy" tried to joke Rey to lighten the mood.

Ben smiled weakly and sat down on a tree trunk and invited her with his hand to join him.

Rey looked at his bare hand and a memory echoed in his memory: _"You know what you have to do"_ they were in the shed of his destroyer and he extended his hand again, asking her to reign by his side. She remembered how much she had wanted to take Ben's hand, how much she had been tempted. Today it was there, it was him who proposed it and not Kylo. Her head was spinning in front of all the distance traveled. She took his hand and it seemed the fairest thing.

Sitting so close to each other after what had just happened was quite strange. There was always electricity between them, a thick sexual tension floating in the air.

Ben was doing violence so as not to start devouring her soft lips again. He stared at the butterflies flying behind them.

"What do you know about the world between the worlds?" he asked

Rey who hugged her sides with her arms so as not to touch Ben jumped, surprise:

"I just read something about it in the sacred Jedi books that I got from--

"Luke" supplemented Ben, clenching his jaws. Rey gave him a sorry look, s _orry to have put Luke back on the carpet_.

Ben took a deep breath and brushed his hand over Rey 's concern: "I have to go ahead, make peace with the past" - he smiled at Rey who looked at him with pride, he had progressed so much in such a short time! - "You were talking to me about books, which one? The Rammahgon?"

"You know it ?" stammered Rey

Ben nodded, "We scoured the galaxy together to search for Jedi remains. These books were the greatest discovery."

Rey folded her knees and put her elbows on them and her head in her hands ready to hear the adventures of Ben and Luke.

But he shook his head: "Another time okay? For now I will try to explain to you what happened"

The following hours passed quickly, Ben told her in detail: his awakening, the exploration of this parallel dimension, how he felt better thinking of her ... Ben was an extraordinary storyteller, Rey saw everything as if she was there: through their link, he sent her images, Rey felt like she was dreaming, surrounded by stars.

His voice broke when he told her about his meeting with his mother. Emotions resurfaced, he ended up being silent, a fist on his mouth trying not to crack. Rey overlooked their distance and hugged him for a long time, rubbing his back. She herself was very moved, she would have liked so much that Ben could find his mother alive and recreate a filial bond that had been broken so long ago.

Ben buries his head in Rey's hair, closing his eyes, breathing deeply. After a moment he patted her on the back and stepped aside. The hard part was over.

He resumed his story, explaining to Rey how Leia had brought him back. Several times he believed that he would not succeed, at times he felt overwhelmed by emotion but despite everything he pushed forward.

Rey was flabbergasted, she would never have thought it possible! She still had so much to learn!

"Me too," Ben whispered to him, hugging his fingers. "Together"

Ben looked at Rey tenderly when she started to speak with excitement after he had told her about the ghosts. The biggest Jedi legends! The biggest myths.

Rey babbled with excitement as he paced back and forth: " _Kriff_ I would like to be able to talk to them. Right now I'm only getting visits from Luke and Leia."

She glanced sideways at Ben to see if talking about his family so informally was a mined subject or not. But he was not paying attention, too busy staring at her face, under the spell of her temper.

Rey's excitement went up a notch when he told her about the Daughter and how she had made him through Exegol.

"And I, who meanwhile believed that I was going crazy to feel you in the Force" almost reproached Rey.

"I'm sorry princess" he replied contrite, "I made it as fast as I could, frankly it's a chance that your friends were there because with my temporary incapacity in the Force I'm not sure I would have managed to contact you before I starved to death. "

Rey frowned all over her face at the mere prospect and then she giggled softly:

"So it was you who scared Suralinda and Jessika?"

Ben held out his hands to be handcuffed: "I plead guilty even if it was completely involuntary. I scraped the ground at one point and they freaked out"

"When I felt you arrived here I thought they had captured you on Exegol. I almost ruined everything with Poe by asking him who the prisoner was."

Ben grimaced: "It's going to be difficult to manage, right? Listen Rey, I don't want you to be in trouble because of me."

He meant what he said, even if it made his heart fall into his stomach. If he had to continue on his own to avoid problems in Rey he would. Even if it meant spending a miserable life.

But to his great delight, Rey didn't hear it that way at all because she gave him a fierce look while pinching his thigh lightly.

"We are together. They accept me with you or they don't accept me at all. Period!"

 _Kriff I love you so much_ he sent her by telepathy.

He wanted to kiss her but he knew that if he kissed her now, the situation would get out of control. And clearly, what Ben was thinking, he didn't want to do it in the jungle on a tree trunk at all! He, therefore, contented himself with tenderly kissing each of Rey's knuckles who emitted little laughs each time his beard tickled her.

Rey absently played with their hands entwined. Ben grabbed her chin between his index finger and his thumb and raised it to meet his gaze: "Sweetheart? What are you thinking about?"

Rey made him withdraw his hand: "How to get back to Tatooine with you without arousing suspicion."

Ben grimaced, "Do we really have to go there? There are nicer places in the galaxy."

Rey shook his head, sighing: "I'm afraid of it. On the one hand, I haven't planned a solution for a prolonged absence on the farm and on the other hand, if I don't go back I would have to find one a satisfactory excuse. "

She smiles mischievously at Ben: "In addition it's an _isolate_ d place. _Quiet_. Perfect for _training_ in the Force or other _intense_ activity...

Ben swallowed, "Are you teasing me?"

Rey fluttered, innocence embodied: "I don't know ... are you teasing?"

_Smart little thing_

Ben blushed a little and looked away, looking up at the sky which was tinged with orange and pink as evening fell.

Rey followed his gaze and jumped up, surprised:

"I almost forgot the ceremony!" she exclaimed.

Ben frowned: "What ceremony?"

"Officers' promotions, there will be a little party afterward. I promised to be. I have to go!"

She hastily picked up her things, fastening her belts. Ben watched her, annoyed. Barely united and already separated.

"It's only for a few hours" reassured Rey who had felt his concern through the link. "I'll be close, everything will be fine. Stay here."

Ben hugged her softly, breathing in her hair, trying to engrave her scent in her memory: "I don't like to see you go. It's a constant in our relationship. Always leave, always run away."

Rey gently rubbed his arm: "Except that this time I'm going to come back."

Grumbling Ben released her and kissed her forehead gently: "I already miss you, sweetie."

Rey closed her eyes to this contact, feeling butterflies fluttering in her belly. She stood on tiptoe and quickly kissed Ben's pouty lips who, at this unexpected gesture, began to look at her with adoration.

"If you ever have a problem, do you think you'll be able to contact me mentally?"

"I think. I've gotten more and more powerful since you've been there. Look!"

Ben reached out to Rey and concentrated.

"Ben! What are you--"

Rey did not finish while she felt herself lift from the ground and fly a few inches and crash against Ben's chest which immediately hugged him with a satisfied smile on his lips.

"I can walk you know" her voice was muffled against his tunic.

Ben stifled a chuckle, Rey's temper was one of the things he loved. "It's funnier like that."

Rey pulled away, gave him a last smile, stroking his cheek and took his hand to put something in it. Ben felt the coldness of the metal against his skin. He looked down. Rey had just closed his fingers on her lightsaber.

Ben stared at her puzzled: "Rey no I--"

"You need a weapon, you are still too weak in the Force to face anyone" replied Rey firmly, closing her hand on his, forcing him to tighten the sword in spite of himself. "I would be reassured knowing that you can defend yourself"

"Rey ..." Ben didn't finish, shaken. It was the first time in years that a few were ready to do anything for him. Someone loved him enough to give him a weapon as precious as a lightsaber.

"I know," replied Rey, throat tied. She felt her emotions, she knew what it was like to find out that someone was worried about you. "I feel it too."

Ben smiled, remembering that was what he had told her when he questioned her. But he was no longer the same man now, just as Rey was no longer the young naive scavenger from Jakku. They had both come a long way.

He waved her saber under her nose: "Fine". He tied it to his pants. "Happy?"

Rey replied with a grimace and walked away.

The last thing Ben saw was their hands that parted slowly, finger after finger.


	13. A secret shared is a trust formed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Rey you must explain to us how you got this hickey!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone ! I hope you are well ! Again thank you for your kudos you are tops !!
> 
> Sorry for the delay, my internship was maintained suddenly I could not write this week.
> 
> The title of the chapter is a quote from the Clone Wars series, I found that it applied well to the situation with Rey who continues to not trust entirely her friends and thereby making her take their trust. The longer she waits the more complicated it will be ... But by telling a little ROse it'll have good consequences !!
> 
> Playlist : For the scene under the stars I obviously think of "Be my baby" by The Ronettes  
> The night we met I knew I needed you so  
> And if I had the chance I'd never let you go  
> So won't you say you love me  
> I'll make you so proud of you  
> We'll make 'em turn their heads  
> Every place we go  
> So won't you please
> 
> Be my be my baby Be my little baby  
> I want it only say Say you'll be my darling  
> Be my be my baby Be my baby now  
> I want it only say
> 
> I'll make you happy, baby  
> Just wait and see  
> For every kiss you give me  
> I'll give you three  
> Oh, since the day I saw you  
> I have been waiting for you  
> You know I will adore you  
> Till eternity  
> So won't you please
> 
> And be my baby of Ariana Grande is great too !  
> If you know how to be my lover  
> Maybe you can be my baby  
> Hold me close under the covers  
> Kiss me boy and drive me crazyBe my, be my, be my  
> Be my, be my baby  
> Be my, be my, be my  
> Baby, and drive me crazyIf you know how to treat me  
> You know how to touch me  
> Baby then you'll get the chance  
> The chance to love me  
> It's obvious I want to be into you  
> But it all depends on all the things you do  
> 'Cause babe I promise, I promise  
> If you keep it real with me  
> Be honest, be honest  
> You can get anything you want  
> That you want babe  
> Just show me everything I need to see  
> I'll give you anything boyIf you know how to be my lover  
> Maybe you can be my baby  
> Hold me close under the covers  
> Kiss me boy and drive me crazyBe my, be my, be my  
> Be my, be my baby  
> Be my, be my, be my  
> Baby, and drive me crazyI'll give you all of my trust  
> If you don't mess this up  
> You ain' tryna get no other girls  
> When you in the club  
> All you got is eyes for me  
> I'm the only girl you seeSo if you treat me right just the way that I want you  
> Oh baby boy I promise that I'll be on you  
> Oh oh oh oh oh on you  
> Night to the mo-oh-oh-oh-oh-orningIf you know how to be my lover  
> Maybe you can be my baby  
> Hold me close under the covers  
> Kiss me boy and drive me crazyBe my, be my, be my  
> Be my, be my baby  
> Be my, be my, be my  
> Baby, and drive me crazyI'll give you all of my trust  
> If you don't mess this up  
> You ain' tryna get no other girls  
> When you in the club  
> All you got is eyes for me  
> I'm the only girl you seeIf you know how to be my lover  
> Maybe you can be my baby  
> Hold me close under the covers  
> Kiss me boy and drive me crazyBe my, be my, be my  
> Be my, be my baby  
> Be my, be my, be my  
> Baby, and drive me crazy
> 
> And for the end of the chapter on Kuat I immediately think of Chaos is a ladder of Game Of Thrones.
> 
> About the final suspense: if one of you discovers who it is or the idea I would introduce one of his ideas in one of the chapters 😏
> 
> ⚠AND FISRT SMUT is HERE. It's very light still BUT it will only grow up! 😉😉  
> Love you !
> 
> Check the moodboard [here](https://twitter.com/DauGold/status/1254123602284331009)

Evening was falling, the heat and dampness was fading making the atmosphere lighter and more bearable.

Rey went down the river with a light heart jumping from rocks to rocks.

She was happy, really, for the first time in-- a hell of a time.

Ben was alive and he loved her, nothing could ruin this day. Not even the prospect of painful discussions to come. Nor the dilemma she faced with having to evacuate Ben while continuing to lie to her friends.

Technically I don't lie, I omit, nuance.

Rey tried to push these thoughts to the back of her mind. One step at a time, she would cross that bridge when the time came.

There was a lot of commotion on the base: the Coalstreak and Dagger squadron had just arrived after several weeks of absence and a whole joyous crowd had formed around them. We hugged friends, we asked for news, adventure stories ...

There were also rumors that news had been received from Colonel Ackbar and the speculation was rife. They knew that he had gone with my calamari with others to free his planet from the remaining troops of the First Order but since then there had been no communications. All the systems of connection to the blue planet had been broken for several days, the contact attempts had failed and nothing was transpiring on the Holonet despite all of Suralinda's efforts to obtain information.

The assumptions were therefore rife.

Gradually everyone went to the cavern where the high command was gathered. Rey greeted friends, asked for news, told a little about life on Tatooine.

Larma motioned for her to join them. A little uneasy Rey went to the officers. Although she knew that she was considered their most precious soldier, Rey did not have ranks and saw himself no differently than the ordinary soldiers of the Resistance. To be so distinguished embarrassed her.

Chewie caught sight of her and rushed toward her with a groan, lifted her from the ground and hugged her tightly, making a series of soft grunts that were signs of welcome.

"I missed you too Chewie" said Rey painfully buried in his fur and suffocated by the force of his embrace.

"Is the Falcon okay?"

Chewie made a laughing sound: _What a question!_ and squeezed it a little tighter.

But suddenly he released her, uttering a strangled sound that Rey, distraught, had rarely seen him emit. It was like the scream he had uttered when Han was killed. A howl of an animal wounded to death, insulted in its deepest flesh.

He looked at her, eyes wide, almost crazy, the truffle quivering.

" What's the matter ? Rey worried. _What could have put him in this state?_

She saw that several people had turned their heads on hearing Chewie's cry. Finn and Beaumont had turned their heads and looked at them, puzzled.

Chewie didn't answer and resumed a normal posture, patted the head of Rey _It is nothing_ and went to put himself in a corner of the cave. From time to time Rey caught his eye on her.

Uncertain, Rey saw Maz join him. He and the old woman seemed to be plunged into an intense discussion in a low voice. Maz listened intently, her eyes narrowed to the extreme.

Although intrigued Rey did not have time to deepen because Finn signaled him to come and sit with him and Rose. Rey waved quickly to the officers she hadn't yet greeted, the formal reunion could wait.

She couldn't help but glance at Maz and Chewie. They were still chatting but Maz suddenly raised his head and with his big eyes enlarged by his glasses she stared at Rey, who looked away embarrassed.

She scolded herself internally: she acted as if she was at fault when she had done nothing wrong.

She tried to pay attention to Poe was asking for silence.

The faces watching the General were nervous, the lack of news from a team on mission was never a good sign.

Poe must have certainly perceived the dismay of his troops because he immediately went on: "I want to reassure you the news is pretty good."

Sound of relief were heard.

Kaydel activated a few buttons and the hologram of Colonel Ackbar appeared before their eyes. More serious and closed than usual Rey noticed. The news didn't have to be that good.

"Greetings colonel, we're ready when you want!"

Aftab nodded gravely: "My Cala is officially of the presence of the First Order."

Immediately a roar of enthusiastic cheers broke out.

Aftab's hologram raised his hand to demand silence: "Here is the detailed account of what happened."

Rey knew that the conversation was recorded and preciously saved by Kaydel.

"The garrisons were grouped in the main megalopolises of the planet but mainly on Dac City where they transferred our king a year ago. The recovery of control was therefore easier and faster in the other cities especially with the help civilians. Truly the communications network has been of great help! "

The soldiers and intelligence officers who managed this part were noisily congratulated. Poe high fived with Dex. Kaydel took note on her tablet to include them in the medal list.

"It was hardest on Dac," continued Aftab. "Without the support of civilians we would have been crushed."

"How many dead?" inquired Rose

"None of us, some are wounded but nothing that bacta patches could not repair. On the other hand there are many casualties among civilians, they were not used to fighting. I do not have the figures yet exact, we continue the census in each city ... "

Ackbar was more and more pained, his big eyes seemed even more humid than usual.

"We will not forget them my brother, we're taking the oath." Beaumont announced solemnly.

"Prisoners ?" Finn asked.

Aftab's face stiffened even more, he closed his eyes briefly, swallowing:

"Some in the other cities but very few. None on Dac."

He paused briefly.

"After releasing him, King Ech-Char ordered us to activate the Great Wave."

There were a few whispers among the officers, but most were as perplexed as the troops. Rey was trying to remember what it was all about, spending a lot of time practicing, fixing Luke's sword, creating her own and reading the sacred books. She had participated only in the most important meetings.

Poe took matters into his own hands: "Kaydel can you project explanations for us?"

Before them appeared a map of Mon Cala which zoomed in on Dac City. Larma took care of the explanations:

"When it became clear several years ago of the rise of the Order, King Ech-Char asked the engineers to think of a new defense system in order to extend his planet from a possible invasion. Wanted at all costs to save his people who had already suffered so much from new pains. "

An underwater representation was projected, there were all the shelters as well as the transparent corridors with currents which made it possible to move quickly from one point to another in the underwater parts of the city.

"The basic idea was to take advantage of the ocean to defend the cities. Using the underground communications network, civilians were to evacuate when the time came."

Larma looked up from the sectional plan she had just detailed: "General Organa has agreed in principle but for security reasons in the face of the Order's very extensive spy networks it has been agreed that only the engineers mon calamari, the officers concerned and the king would be aware of the exact procedure. We therefore don't know what exactly happened. "

When the colonel spoke again, he seemed even more tense: "I'm sending you a video through the secure channel ..."

Kaydel projected a new window and before them unfolded the Great Wave.

Rey stared at the dumbfounded screen when he saw a wave so high that it passed the skyscrapers approaching Dac and engulfing everything. There were shocked cries. She saw Rose put her hands on her mouth to stifle a cry, Poe had suddenly paled, Beaumont stared at the screen with a creased, dazed forehead. C3PO issued "Oh by all the gods". Even Maz from the top of its millennium of existence mumbled a "I saw things but there ..."

"It's suicide!" shouted Pacer

"In appearance only," Aftab replied somberly. "Our homes are built to withstand a tsunami. We have no damage."

Someone asked how it was technically possible.

"The culmination of several years of work. The engineers installed the components little by little and for a year they claimed that it was to carry out maintenance on the current networks. In fact a reactor was installed. It releases an enormous energy which fractures the ocean mantle. Under the shock wave the water goes away and then it comes back suddenly in the form of giant waves. "

Rey was nauseated. She loved water, but she never thought it could be so dangerous. The desert could engulf you but the water also visibly.

She felt a movement in the link: Ben had felt her distress and came to the news.

 _Everything is fine ?_ he asked in a concerned tone. _I feel dizzy ..._

_All is well ... In a way, don't worry ..._

She returned her attention to those around her, but she still felt Ben watching over.

Beside her Finn was agitated. He seemed particularly touched. Rey felt his anger and bitterness in the Force. He was not the only one to emit this aura: Jannah and other members of her team also seemed revolted by something.

"Where's the point then?" Asked someone. "If the installations are made to resist?"

"I'll tell you," Finn replied somberly. He got up and Rey saw that he was trembling, his fists clenched, his jaw contracted.

"There are no prisoners on Dac because the troopers were not ordered to evacuate. They didn't know what was going to happen. They just had to see a giant wave arrive without realizing. They died _drowned_ "he spat.

"It's true" confirmed Ackbar "The officers also, they had gathered in the tower of the Pearl which is the symbol of Dac, its oldest construction, it was not built to resist."

Finn looked completely upset. Rey suddenly understood why: Finn, Jannah and the others were former stormtroopers who had rebelled and left the ranks. Their comrades never had the chance to open their eyes, that someone extend a hand to them. Finn had told her a little bit about his dreams for the future and she knew that with Jannah they were hoping to help the remaining troopers get out of their brainwashing and reintegrate them into society. To learn that former comrades had been killed without giving them a chance to surrender was to break him from the inside. He was probably thinking of him, he identified with them.

Rey cannot help projecting a soothing current against him.

Bastian called out to them: "Where is the problem? We are at war, it is no worse than when we send bombers on them! It is war and there is fighting and there are deaths!"

"It was not a fight!" fight back Finn. "It was dirty!"

"And since when has a war been clean?" replied Bastian

"It's idealistic to believe that during a war only soldiers die in regular combat. The reality is that we fight as best we can, civilians die. It's horrible but that's how it is . "

The tone rose, Finn seemed to be about to retaliate but Rose did not leave him the time, she put her hand on his forearm and shook her head. Finn seemed to go back down in pressure and sat back down, continuing to glare at Bastian. He gestured to him that he had his eyes on him, Bastian replied by clapping his fist in his hand. The message was clear: _You-Me-After_.

Those who had risen to interrupt the skirmish sat down.

Poe looked at the hologram, shaken: "I didn't think it would be so powerful ... Leia had approved the principle but the scale ..."

"Neither do I" confessed Aftab. "I have seen a lot of horror Poe but seeing hundreds of corpses floating like that even if they are enemies, I know they are enemies but I would have liked--"

His voice broke.

"Thank you for everything Aftab. We know you have done the best you could." tried to comfort Kaydel.

Aftab thanked her and got ready to leave: "There is still a lot of work and everyone expects the death of the king."

"Is he that bad?" wondered Larma

"It's only a matter of hours or days at most," he confirmed. "At least he will have seen his beloved planet free again before he dies."

"You will be in our thoughts." replied Poe "And convey our friendships to the prince, it must be hard for him."

"I would not miss it."

Communication cut.

The atmosphere had cooled well, the arguments and the imminent death of the old king had weighed down the atmosphere.

Commander Gartfran came forward accompanied by Seossra. They screened several holograms, spy reports from Kuat, Coruscant and Corellia. The discussion turned on the enumeration of the forces of the Order likely to be on these different planets.

"I had contact with a member of the Collective on Corellia. A certain Monti, he didn't want to tell me much except that apparently there would be a whole plot being prepared in the shadow, something huge. "

"Same echo on Coruscant" sighed Beaumont. "I have heard of secret meetings, and surviving officers are said to be planning a massive insurrection with the help of the remaining First Order troops who were on occupied planets and who were not captured or eliminated. But nothing concrete yet, they are divided "

"We can already bet on the planets concerned," Teza said somberly. Everyone turned their heads towards her. It was so rare that the former imperialist spoke that it surprised everyone. She continued nonchalantly, busy sharpening a dagger: "Kuat, Arkanis, Corellia, Coruscant, Hevurion. These five have always been on the side of the problems."

"Can you please develop?" asked Larma curious to know his opinion

"I think their plan is to get us out of our hiding place. They know very well that they will not be able to face a coalition with their remaining troops which are probably scattered on several planets. I think their aim is to push us to the fault to reveal our position. They can attack us. "

"But with what?" objected C'ai; "They have no more ships!"

Teza shrugged, biting: "Yeah? Do you know something about it? They were still masters of the Corellia shipyards and they had those of Mon Cala. Who knows how many ships they got out? And I'm not even talking to you of the fleet of star destroyers "

They frowned in disbelief:

"Seriously?" Poe frowned: "You were there, we destroyed them all!"

Teza let out an incredulous laugh while pointing her blade towards Poe: "Because you knew their number? Huh ???"

Poe opened his mouth and closed it, then opened it again. He wanted to argue but a realistic part of him knew that she was not wrong.

Teza was now addressing the cantonade: "No one can swear that we took them all down. Clearly I think we are not at the end of our surprises! If Palpatine managed to play this game of chess from the start it's for a reason: he is always ahead of the game. As such, I think he has planned something in case he disappears. And this with the help of the planets who have always been his followers. "

"I think she's right," sighed Larma. "It fits with the message of this _pompous moron_ from Kuat" she projected a hologram.

A man dressed in taste stood straight and delivered polite expressions. He stood like a soldier, which he probably was, but he had changed his clothes in order to change the situation and to affirm that Kuat was in no way under the influence of the Order. He was probably an officer. Young, either he was talented or he had benefited from pistons. No doubt the last option thought Rey. The high spheres are a small world where everyone knows each other.

In a sweet tone he thanked the Resistance for having contacted them for their word about the presence of wanted criminals. He expressed his deepest astonishment at these accusations. Kuat was perfectly in order, in the most complete legality. It would be known if officers of the Order were hiding from the government. It wasn't necessary to worry, it was only rumors without foundations ... The message continued thus in the same syrupy tone intended to put them to sleep. So much so that even a fool would have understood that it was a trap.

Everyone looked at the message in disgust, no one was fooled.

 _If you have the impression that we are trying to trap you, it is surely the case_ sent her Ben

Something huge is brewing.

Rey felt the nausea come back, she remembered the warning from Luke and Leia. _The war is not over_. Was that what they wanted to say to her?

 _They also warned me_ , whispered Ben through the bond.

 _I don't feel anything through the Force yet_ replied Rey

_This is normal, the danger is not yet clearly identified or established. It is latent._

She again felt this dull anguish which she had not felt since the end of the fighting. When she discovered happiness, would they still take it away without tasting it?

The uproar pulled her from her thoughts. They called out from one group to another, exchanging their impressions. Most wanted to be certain of the destruction of the fleet, others were now more measured.

Poe went to the other officers, they met in a sort of meeting.

"Your opinion on the question ?"

Lando launched out in his beautiful deep and calm voice: "I quite agree with Teza. A rescue plan devised by Palpatine involving planets loyal to the Empire as well as its followers: high-ranking officers, financiers, former senators. Scattered and hidden on its planets with troops. "

Now that it was said aloud by a figure as imposing as Lando, Rey found it obvious.

"He really planned everything from the start." murmured Ransolm.

"We can't beat them alone," warns Maz. "The free fleet must be brought together again."

"Most of them returned home after Exegol thinking the fighting was over," said Larma. She turned to Finn and Poe: "I think it is high time that we send a message to the Queen of Naboo asking for an audience in order to start building a consortium of our forces." While speaking she began to type the message.

"Maz, do you have news for Mon Mothma?" asked Finn

Maz shook his head: "Not yet sweetie, I asked several contacts but they all went back empty-handed." The old woman seemed offended at not having been able to obtain information. Rey wondered if it was the first time in her life that she had failed something.

She felt a grip in the bond.

_Mon Mothma? The former chancellor?_

_How many others do you know?_

_Just checking ..._

He was silent and Rey thought he had stopped analyzing her thoughts in the Force but he came back:

_Ask them to look around the bar for "The Crazy Jogan" on Hanna City. It's at the foot of a small building and the owner passes the people with the code through the backyard. From there you access the upper floors._

_How do you know all this?_

_I sometimes paid attention to the spy reports of my officers you know_ he replied sarcastically. _When I didn't think about you ..._

 _Are you sure ?_ She deliberately ignored the end of her sentence, not wanting to be distracted.

_Two months ago that was the case. Chandrila remained quiet, we had no reason to attack it. I wanted to save it, it matters to me._

_Why this ?_

_Oh you didn't know? I was born there the day of the signing of the peace treaty which ended the war with the Empire. We stayed there a few years before the Senate moved._

_Oh..._

Rey was astonished but that didn't surprise her that much, after all she didn't know a lot about him: his favorite dish, fighting technique, planet ...

She scratched her throat to draw attention: "Mhh maybe I could help you ... I heard that to access Mon Mothma you have to go to a bar The crazy Jogan in Hanna City"

Everyone was watching her.

"How do you know that ?" asked Kaydel

"Uh" _Quick, lie_ "I heard conversations in the cantina of Mos Eisley. Merchants lamented the fall of the markets with the war and they wondered if Mon could not help them by intervening with the government of Chandrila."

Her explanation seemed to satisfy them and Dex approached her to ask her the name of the bar.

The others moved on to another subject except Maz who was looking at Rey with what seemed to be suspicion. Obviously she didn't appreciate not having provided the required information.

"I'm going to have my agents do some checks," said Beaumont. "We will then advise."

"What do we do with the planned raids?" suddenly asked C'ai

"We're canceling them for now, it's more prudent," said Poe. "Listen, this is how I see it: we are waiting for the engineers to finish the scanner. We return to Exegol to search the citadel in order to try to see what secrets it contains. Our spies continue their work in order to try to discover the plans of the Order as well as the positions of the targets. And we do diplomacy with Naboo, Chandrilla and any other planet that would like to join us. What do you say? "

Finn nodded, "It's okay for me! What do we do for Kuat?"

"We are going to make them believe that we are swallowing their story. It will put them to sleep a little. But we don't relax" replied Larma who typed her diplomatic message. Daughter of a diplomat, for decades in politics and in this arena she handled politeness, rhetoric and etiquette as well as Leia. Her message for the Queen of Naboo would hit the target the first time.

They announced the measures taken. The general mood was no longer for joy. Fear returned but with it determination. They had survived so far, they would survive a little while continuing to annoy the Order as much as possible.

The ceremony of awarding of medals and ranks therefore began in the greatest disorder, the medals could no longer be found, some began to revile at the sacrifices that the war imposed.

Rey saw Finn in great discussion with Jannah and former stormstroopers, no doubt discussing the fate of their companions.

Finally the ceremony started. It wasn't the party that was planned, the atmosphere was gloomy but as the calls went on, it started to heat up with the sound of enthusiastic cheers and encouraging whistles. C-3PO handed the decorations to the officer who hung them. Rey wondered if that was the only way to prevent the droid from engaging in endless speeches.

Speeches were becoming warmer and more affectionate.

Rey loudly encouraged Rose and Kaydel when they officially received their new ranks.

It was Finn who handed the bars to Rose and Rey couldn't help but notice that Rose was blushing slightly and that Fin was lingering more than necessary. His speech was adorable, an admirable portrait of Rose. He praised her intelligence, her devotion, her precious friendship and how honored the Resistance was to have her among them. "And," he added, "I'm very likely to have you by my side."

Rey couldn't help raising her eyebrows, she thought these two had broken up last year. But obviously to see Rose prick a shadow it was perhaps no longer the case. She was happy for them, they deserved a little happiness in all this horror.

She raised her shoots in the air when Rose joined her with a big smile and hugged her:

"I missed you so much Rosie! Congratulations!"

Rose hugged her even harder and Rey felt that her chest was shaken by silent sobs. Rose backed away and Rey saw that she was twisting her crescent moon necklace. Rey felt her heart tighten, she knew how heavy Paige's absence was to bear for Rose especially at this precise moment.

She rubbed the back of her friend: "She would have been very proud of you, you know" she whispered to her.

Rose sniffed: "I especially miss moments like that! She would have shared my joy."

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and smiled: "Did you hear Finn's nice speech ?!"

"Yes, really adorable!"

"Are you staying there afterwards? With the girls we meet for a drink."

Rey hesitated a little, she longed to find Ben but she finally nodded to Rose's delight.

"It's not like I'm waiting all alone in the dark ... in a dark and terrible jungle"

She turned her head: he was in her field of vision but behind him she could see the shadows of the trees. She had this feeling again in the stomach and around her the sounds had diminished. He was there leaning against a tree, his silhouette standing out in the moonlight. She couldn't see him but she knew he had his mocking smile.

She couldn't answer him out loud or she would probably have a hard time explaining to her friends _why she was talking to herself._

_Are you done complaining?_

She was so busy locking her gaze with his, determined not to be fooled by this pair of pretty eyes that made her charming, that she did not immediately realize that her friends were looking at her with conspiratorial smiles.

Rose and Kaydel especially had the head of the predator who has just eaten its prey.

"And the best one to finish ..." announced Poe at the top of his lungs, staring at Rey with a big smile.

_Oh no it's not true ..._

"It looks like you're going to have a medal," Ben announced tersely.

Rey barely had time to realize that Ben heard what was going on around her, that she felt herself being pushed by her enthusiastic comrades towards all the officers who were waiting for her, sporting big smiles. Finn gave her thumbs up, Chewie gave little happy grunts, Lando looked at her with affection, even Larma had lost her usual severity.

All eyes were on her as Poe solemnly declared:

"Rey Skywalker on this day, in recognition of your exceptional courage and your--

_"REY SKYWALKER ????? !!!!!"_

_Damn. Fuck._

"Seriously ????" Ben's eyes were wide, his mouth open in shock.

"- dedication and according to the will of our beloved leader Leia--"

_It's a tribute to your uncle and especially your mother. I consider her as an adopted mother ..._

"So basically we are brother and _sister_ ?!" Ben's expression was utterly comical, if his eyes could have gone out of their sockets at that time they would have.

"- and after unanimous agreement of the officers, I have the honor to announce that Rey Skywalker--

"This name ! AGAIN!!!!"

"--is promoted to general!"

The exclamations sounded but Rey had trouble concentrating, she smiled mechanically with a tight smile, clasping the hands that stretched out, unable to take her eyes off the silhouette that emerged from the trees and which was now clearly visible in the golden halo saber.

"So if I understand correctly -" Ben looked at her with raised eyebrow, a sly half-smile on her lips making his characteristic saber movement, spinning him behind him. Rey looked at him hypnotized.

"--I kissed my sister."

Hmrph _Dumbass_

"So we're going to have to stop, it's not possible between us, it's not respectful" he declared in a falsely serious tone.

 _Ben Solo_ \- Rey warns him

Ben laughed softly when he saw Rey's eyes rolling in her sockets and the connection ended there, leaving Rey frustrated in the middle, mentally insulting Ben.

Poe made a particularly moving speech of Rey, calling her the "light of the Resistance", deciding how much Rey deserved this rank and even more than he or anyone else. The end especially moved Rey to tears: Poe called her sister. When he was finished, Rey didn't have the words to express how touched she was and she hugged him.

"Let's be clear: I'll continue to yell at you for the Falcon!"

"But I count on it!" laughed Poe. "It's not funny otherwise!"

He turned towards the others with open arms: "Ba what are you waiting for ?! Take out the glasses that we offer to our new officers !!!"

Rey found herself in the middle of a crowd of people congratulating her. We took out glasses, timpani, any container that looked like a glass, near or far.

Jessika brought bottles of brandy from the village, the color of which alone indicated that the liquid was going to burn your throat. It was what was called "jet juice", in reference to its power which had, it seems, that of an X-wing jet. So much so that liquid was prohibited in armies because it clouded the view for several hours. Prohibition largely not respected.

However, it was not the party announced, the prospect of a new threat, the imminent death of the old king and the tensions linked to the use of the weapon had clouded the event.

Many also took only one drink and returned to their posts. Beaumont, Seossra and Dex returned to contact their spies to send them further instructions. Commander Gartfran went back to studying holograms of the different planets, a glass in his hand, the cigar in the other.

Some people connected to the Holonet and put on some ambient music, a sort of aquatic pop with incomprehensible melodic songs.

Rey saw that Karé was watching Suralinda closely.

"Trust me, you don't want her to sing," she whispered to her, passing.

Rey found herself with a glass in hand, a glass she intended to barely sip, accompanied by Rose, Kaydel, Jannah and to Rey's surprise, Zorii.

"To Rey returns!" Kaydel launched, raising her glass.

They toasted.

"So how is Tatooine?" asked Zorii

"Hot and dry and ... hot, does that answer your question ?" smiled Rey

Zorii let out what seemed like a laugh and took off her helmet, revealing beautiful golden hair and fascinating green eyes.

"euh what ?!"

The three girls looked at her almost shocked.

"It's the first time we've seen you without," Rose explained.

"I validate the non-wearing of a helmet," Jannah called, toasting him.

The discussion continued between laughter, confidences and jokes. Rey savored this moment between girls, between sisters.

After several glasses the atmosphere had warmed well, the voices were raised. Rey noticed that Zorii was glancing at the group of pilots having fun at the other end of the cave, in which Poe and Finn were.

"The problem" she articulated "it is men"

"How is that?" Kaydel answered absently

"I propose to him to go with me, I entrust to him what I have most precious, which should allow me to get out of this hell! And he all he wants is to use me! All this what he wants is a short relationship! It's A-B-U-S-E-D !! "

"Abused!" Repeated Kaydel, who was starting to hit his nose.

"A moron with a nice face is what he is!"

"A moron," Kaydel echoed, taking a sip of the tubular twist. She leaned forward to help herself and, in doing so, she had a direct view of the neck of Rey who had supported her head in her hands, elbows on the knees.

"Rey !!! What is it on your neck ??? !!!!" she exclaimed

8 pairs of eyes suddenly stared at her. Rey put her hand on his neck, not understanding at first but her fingers ended up meeting a sensitive and irritated area and _\- oh--_

_Ben. Of course._

"Rey you must explain to us _how_ you got this hickey!" Rose ordered.

The four girls leaned forward, eager for detail, stamped almost with excitement.

Rey felt herself blush despite herself:

"Really there is nothing to make a fuss about. He's just a guy—

"Where did you meet him?" Kaydel cut her impatient.

"Uh on Jakku," Rey lied. "A long time ago. We have been separated since then and a part of me has always hoped for his return. I happened to find him on Tatooine. In the cantina."

 _When you lie try to stick as much as possible to reality had once advised her the voice in her dreams_.

Zorii pouted appreciatively. "Well done!"

"And?" pressed Rose

"And it's all Rose, it's not going to look any further for now."

"Woo-oo REY IS IN L--" started bawling Kaydel who decidedly liked the shots too much.

"Shh !! Kaydel !!!" hissed Rey, glancing furtively at the pilots who luckily laughed too loud to have heard. "Please girls it must be kept secret for now."

"You don't know if it's serious, isn't it ?" asked Jannah calmly

"I'm sure of it but it's complicated you know, he lived through the war quite a bit ..." whispered Rey, eluding. "The truth is that I love her to the point where it scares me."

Rose put her hand on Rey's hand, squeezing it gently: "We won't say anything promised! Isn't that Kaydel ?!" she added severely towards her partner who continued to jiggle happily in her chair.

"I don't even know what you're talking about Rosie" quipped Kaydel.

Rose stuck out her tongue and yawned as she checked the time on her communicator.

"It is getting late, I would like to continue working on the scanner before going to sleep a little. Good night girls."

"'Night"

Leaving Rose kissed Rey on the cheek: "I'm so happy for you! I can't wait for you to present him to us!"

Rey smiles, avoiding thinking about this awkward moment that should come sooner or later.

Just when the girls were going to separate for the rest of the evening, Poe broke away from his group and walked over to them, running his hand through his beautiful wavy brown hair.

"Uh Zorii? Could I speak to you please?"

Zorii had not yet put her helmet back on, she had it in her hand. Rey noticed that Poe looked nervous which happened to him very rarely and Zorii seemed to want to kill him on the spot.

Rey internally smiles. Suddenly she had a very good idea of who the _moron_ Zorii had talked about earlier was.

Zorii nodded her head to say _You can talk to me here and now._

"In private ?" almost begged Poe.

Before Zorii could not answer, Rose grabbed Kaydel and Jannah and pushed them in front of her: "Ok girls, you absolutely must come and see the projection I made, it's pure art!"

Poe winked in thanks as they passed him and Zorii, leaving them alone face to face.

"Why did you do that?" Kaydel protested when they were within a reasonable distance. "They were finally going to talk to each other!"

"Exactly!" Rose replied, pushing her a little more while Jannah prevented her from turning around. "It's none of our business! Are you coming with us Rey?"

"I'm going to meditate under the stars I think, good night girls."

"Rey wait!"

Rose ran behind her and held her for a brief moment:

"Thank you for trusting us! It really matters to me!

It reassures us, we were worried with Finn and Poe about you, we thought you were distant and weird but now everything can be explained! "

She smiled shyly at her before adding, "I know it's hard to have secrets here. And even harder to admit the truth, it's scary to fall in love."

Rey studied Rose's face, she looked away. Suddenly Rey felt like she was talking more about herself.

"This guy seems to be worth it."

"You can't imagine how much," Rey replied with a smile.

After leaving Rose, Rey greeted the few remaining members and was about to head towards the jungle to find Ben when she felt his energy signature pulsate nearby. In the cavern. It was not a connection. He was there.

_Where are you ?_

She felt he had heard it but he didn't answer, a wave of sadness that didn't come from her crash in her. He was suffering, she felt it. Like a gaping hole in the chest, her stomach was falling, a lump in her throat that would soon burst into tears.

She followed his signature and suddenly knew where he was. Taking care that no one saw her, she hurried towards one of the parts of the cavern where some rooms for the officers had been installed. Rey had hers with her workbench, the rest of the command, and _Leia_.

He was there, one knee on the ground, bent in the half-light near the bed, clutching the sheet in his right fist, the left in front of his mouth to stifle his sobs. Approaching she saw the silver reflections of her tears flowing.

She dropped near him without saying a word and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his back. He was so large that her two arms didn't join, her hands were placed on his chest without joining. He started, but didn't push her away. They stayed for long minutes like this, Rey listening to his deep breath gradually subsiding. Finally he released the fist he clasped before his mouth and squeezed Rey's hands.

He kissed her hands, released himself from her embrace and stood up.

He wiped the tears that had run down his cheeks and nose with the back of his hands. Rey wiped the last ones with her thumb. She felt his disgust for himself. Snoke had broken him to the point of considering himself weak at the slightest mention of feelings.

"Crying is not a weakness, you don't have to be ashamed of it." she reminded him, whispering.

He nodded in silence before placing a furtive kiss on her forehead and reaching out to her in a silent invitation to get out of there. Rey grabbed it and squeezed it gently, melting into the tender calluses of his large hand that completely engulfed hers.

And it was hand in hand that they left Leia's room.

There was no one left in the cave except Commander Gartfran who had fallen asleep while working, his head resting on the table, producing a regular snore.

Taking care not to wake him up, they headed for the entrance to the cave which overlooked the jungle and the Falcon.

The sky was particularly clear this evening and we could distinguish all the constellations. A beautiful night in perspective.

Ben was enjoying walking hand in hand with Rey like a real official couple when suddenly Rey brutally pushed him into a dark corner of the rock against which he almost opened his head.

He didn't need to ask for an explanation: Poe and a woman passed by without paying attention to their surroundings, immersed in what seemed to be a particularly heated discussion.

Poe had silently blessed Rose for leaving them alone. But very quickly he wondered if he shouldn't rather curse her. What he had hoped to be an open-hearted conversation was turning sour with each passing second.

To his surprise already Zorii had removed her helmet and Poe couldn't help fixing it. It had been more than 15 years since he had seen this magnificent, expressive face.

And who displayed for the moment all the characteristics of anger.

"What do you want ???" Zorii asked straight away without giving him time to place one.

"I was hoping we could talk a little bit both ..." Poe tried in a pleasant voice.

"Why do it? We have nothing more to say to each other!"

"If only you agreed to listen to me without interrupting me!" pleaded Poe

"And to say what? All you can do is insult me!"

"WHAT? !!!"

"You only consider me as a common spice runner who--"

"I NEVER said that !" Poe got angry. He had tried to remain calm, but when faced with such accusations his temper woke up quickly. "Do I have to remind you that I was also a spice runner!" he added, patting his chest on the finger.

"You didn't say it but you made me understand it!"

"And how ?"

"BY APPOINTING ME AS SQUADRON LEADER _ONLY_ BECAUSE YOU WANTED I TO PLAY THE SPIES AND NOT BECAUSE I HAVE THE NECESSARY SKILLS!" Zorii yelled.

The pilots followed the confrontation from a distance, alcohol helping some had opened bets. For now the advantage was to Zorii who was on the verge of smashing Poe. Protests arose from the group when Finn pushed them out.

"It's not true, it wasn't just for that! Okay, I wanted you to learn more about them, it's true! But I consider you as my equal, you are an incredible pilot, courageous and fearless. This promotion you deserved it! "

"Why don't you do your chores yourself huh? Oh but I see, The Great General Dameron doesn't have have time with commun troops" Zorii provoked him.

"It is false and you know it very well! I would do anything for any of you!"

"To others! You want me to tell you Poe? You're lousy! You use people to achieve your ends: you were very happy to come to find me, very happy that I was helping you and I am sure when you learned that Kijimi had jumped you didn't give a damn! "

"I was broken when I heard about it! I thought you were dead! I feel guilty! I have relived our whole past together! You have no right to say that!" Poe yelled out of him.

"And you continued after: after the victory what did you want? Huh? I was only a sex plan to you! That's all I am for you! You use people all the time! Well you know what Poe? FUCK YOU! "

Zorii turned on her heels and in long furious strides out into the jungle.

"ZORII!" called her Poe. "ZORII !!!!"

Seeing that she wouldn't come back, Poe ran after her and grabbed her arm to stop her.

"LET GO OF ME !" yelled Zorii, struggling

Poe did nothing and instead tightened his grip. Damn for damn, so unpack everything:

"FUCK ZORII LISTEN TO ME !!! I LOVE YOU !!!"

"What ?!" she stammered, stopping to struggle.

Poe ran his hand over his face and through his hair and repeated, "I love you."

Seeing that finally Zorii let him speak he took advantage of it: "You are driving me crazy. Literally. It's like making 180 ° turns. I find it hard to concentrate when you are near me, I only think to you in those moments. At night I dream of you, I dream that I make love to you so much that I'm hard like a kriffin teenager. With the end of the war I will finally build a real relationship."

He reduced the space between them, their noses almost touching.

"It's a real ordeal to imagine that you can leave. That's also why I appointed you. I don't want to lose you. Not yet. Not this time."

He stepped back a little, resigned: "Now if you want to hit me, hit me! Go on"

Zorii didn't hesitate: she sent him a good punch in the abs.

"That is for not having spoken to me earlier!"

Poe growled a little bit folded in half.

She approached at full speed:

"And that's for talking to me."

And she began to kiss him furiously, pressing him against the rock wall.

Rey and Ben took advantage of the fact that Poe and Zorii were fighting further to get out of the cavern and rush into the jungle.

They walked in silence at first, Rey wanting to let Ben speak when he felt ready.

They savored the sweetness of the night, you could hear the lazy gurgling of the rivers, the mysterious song of the night birds and the air was charged with delicate smells of flowers which did not open until nightfall.

Ben let Rey guide him, her little hand buried in his. The Force circulated all around them, enveloping them in a protective cocoon. Ben seemed preoccupied and undecided, by the light of her saber Rey saw that he frowned slightly.

Rey took the initiative to take them to an open meadow a little higher where they could see the stars.

Rey dropped to the ground and vertically buried the handle of her saber in the ground to turn it into a flashlight.

She sat down with her legs bent out in front of her, her arms anchored in the ground behind. Ben sat next to her with his knees bent, losing his gaze in the stars without saying anything.

Rey glanced at her, she felt the pain coming and going again in the Force and then something more animal. More wild.

"Rey?" Ben's voice was deep and raspy.

"Did you really mean what you said?"

"About what ?"

"When you told your friends how much you loved me ..."

He gulped nervously, still wondering if it was a dream. He was so disgusted with himself that he still couldn't believe it. He hoped so much. He always had the impression that he was going to wake up and discover that everything was just wrong: he was still dead, Rey did not love him, he was alone for eternity ...

Rey felt all of this in the bond when she chose to get closer to him to plunge her eyes into his.

"I really meant it."

Ben made a small ecstatic sound and leaned over to kiss her.

At first it was sweet and then Rey felt a torrent of emotions overwhelm them through their bond. Like a storm that rumbled to engulf them. Ben's lips remained soft but there was a kind of urgency in his kisses, he almost bruised her lips taking and taking again and again and even more. Always more intense. Always hotter.

The heat ... Rey has already realized that when she was with Ben she felt a pleasant warmth in her body. But there it's more of a blaze that is consuming it from the inside.

She doesn't know how but at one point they find themselves rolling in the grass still kissing and Rey finds herself pinned against the grass with Ben above her.

The urgency almost became anger. It's almost as if Ben is trying to prove something, enveloping Rey with all his stature. _Kriff_ he is so massive. If he didn't push on his forearms so as not to collapse on her he would crush her completely.

He started to lick the fine parting of hher lips and Rey couldn't help letting it go, letting it move in her mouth. She doesn't even know if there is a term to describe what he is doing to her. What they're doing.

Rey didn't know what to do with her hands anymore, so she clung to her outstretched forearms, her fingers sinking into firm muscles, her nails gripping the skin to a point where he would probably have red lines later. .

 _A point everywhere_ she thought. _For the hickey that you left me ..._

She felt his laughter in the corners of her lips which continued to taste hers.

_Speaking of hickeys ..._

He broke the kiss only to start kissing her throat and collarbones uncovered by the neck of her tunic. Rey started to shiver and get goosebumps when his wet kisses started to look like little bites. He lightly pinched the skin of her throat before licking it tenderly. Rey couldn't help but moan and throw her head back, revealing even more skin and Ben was more than happy to kiss her there.

Ben had gradually let himself rest on Rey and an innate part of him was preparing for the inevitable moment when she would push him away but she did nothing.

She moaned under his treatments, gripping his hair, his shoulders, his back as he continued to kiss her. Her eyes closed when he lowered his mouth from his jaw to his throat.

Little by little Ben ran his hands between their bodies, touching her hips, then her ribs and finally her breasts still hidden by the fabric of her tunic.

He went slowly, he didn't want to spoil anything and he preferred to be thrown from a plane in hyperspace or devoured by rathtars than to hurt Rey.

Rey widened her eyes and her lips opened in a surprised "o" when one of his hands closed timidly on her right breast. Mortified, Ben immediately withdrew his hand but Rey prevented it and repositioned it on her breast, covering it with hers.

"Everything is fine," she whispered to him, smiling soothingly.

Encouraged Ben started kissing her throat and lowered her mouth down her cleavage.

"Oh," Rey moaned when his lips found the side of her right breast, trying to spread the flanks of fabric that bothered him while continuing to gently stroke her nipples.

"Oh, I love it, I—" She stopped with a deep shaky sigh when he started to use his teeth, his fingers dug into his hair and he felt her curl up and lift off the ground, trembling in passion.

"You are my drug" he whispered to her against her breast, her breathing completely chopped as if he was suffocating. Rey started to shiver in response, her breasts hardening under his big hands.

Ben savored every second, never had he hoped for so much and never had he been so happy. The Force roared through the bond, connecting them together with such force that Ben wasn't sure they could detach from each other. He kissed the outline of her breasts with reverence and adoration, he had dreamed of it for whole nights. Alone in his austere room aboard his destroyer, feared by all, his eyes lost in the vastness of the space he saw through the bay window, he had fantasized about Rey, masturbating until he finally sinks into a semblance of sleep.

And that night all of his wildest dreams came true.

He started kissing her again and without really knowing how, his erection ended up between Rey's thighs. The resulting friction made Rey moan loudly, biting his lower lip while kissing him. In response he hugged harder against her, growling low and she began to gasp, her breath coming in short irregular gusts which he softened with aggressive kisses.

"Rey you will cause my death" he groaned against her ear.

Although the words were smothered against his skin, Rey felt how transported he was by all of this, how much he was returned.

This time it was Rey who initiated, she needed more, this night she wanted to have everything, here and now under the stars, in the hot grass, surrounded by the roar of streams and the song of nocturnal animals.

Ben seemed to be on the same wavelength and it was up to him to tremble with impatience and envy when Rey stroked his neck and tried to run his hand under his shirt to touch his flat and muscular belly.

He felt himself throb and contract in his pants and he was burning with desire to the point of tightening his presence against Rey, his hips forcefully meeting hers through the fabric of their clothes. Their breaths became more and more chopped, sweat began to cover their skin.

Ben untied his mouth from Rey and took a moment to gaze at her in the soft, golden light of the saber. Her wonderful Rey, all out of breath, wild eyes, loose hair, swollen and wet red lips. He wanted to devour her all, get lost in her body and never come back down.

He was breathing deeply trying to clear his head a little, his hands stopped on her breasts, formulating a silent question, caressing her hardened nipples, tearing out small sighed complaints.

Rey gave him a small affirmative sign of the chin and when he was finally going to undo the flying sides of his tunic the communicator attached to Rey's wrist beeped, insisting.

Rey groaned and sent it in the grass. They started to start over where they were when ...

He biped again, completely shattering the intimate atmosphere. Ben sighed, dropping his head in the hollow of the throat of Rey, decidedly everything was playing against them.

Rey was reluctant, clutching his shoulders. Ben gently put his forehead against hers, laughing softly:

"It doesn't matter, go ahead, we'll have all the time another time."

He felt that Rey was reluctant against him at the idea of leaving him but she knew that if she did not answer, questions would be asked, suspicions created ...

Ben rolled onto his back still hard, to free her and she stood up.

He helped her put her clothes back in order, wrinkling the folds, putting her locks of hair behind her ears. Each time he touched it, Rey shivered with pleasure and half closed his eyes.

They looked at each other for a moment, not knowing what to say. Rey wanted to cry, they were so good, they wanted each other so much but reality had caught up with them. Ben felt her dismay and hugged her tenderly, placing a shower of little kisses on her face before ending with her lips.

"See you tomorrow sweethart."

Rey gave him one last kiss, burying her hands in his silky hair before breaking their hugs and pulling back. She picked up her saber and her communicator and handed Ben a light stick hanging from his belt.

"So that you can find your way back," she explained to him.

He nodded his eyes lost in hers, trying to engrave every detail because a part of him said that maybe there would be no tomorrow. His gaze lingered on her throat and on the mess he had made there.

He held her by the hand and without a word he placed his palm against her throat. At first Rey wondered what he was doing, he was not strangling her, he just left her posed. And then she felt the heat and the energy which left his palm and which redirected towards the small marks which his teeth had left. She understood: he was treating her.

Ben breathed deeply, inside, outside, visualizing the current of the Force, sending it from his body to Rey, putting all his love inside.

Rey kissed his palm in thanks and started to leave.

"Rey?"

She turned her head, Ben looked at her with a small smirk sure of himself:

"The next you can keep them, I will make them where no one else can see..."

დდდდდდ

_Kuat_

All the faces were grave and silent around the large meeting table. In the center, several holograms of people unable to physically attend the meeting.

Lieutenant Bolgrive had just announced the news of the fall of Mon Cala. The room was silent, we calculated the losses, reassessed the situation ...

"I imagine that Admiral Gen Camest will no longer be able to reimburse me for his gambling debt" declared General Lex Gis, scratching his nails.

General Crundaso Odor's hologram live from Hevurion made a contemptuous sniff.

"We have other loth cats to whip than your damn debt," he spat. "We are losing the shipyards of Mon Cala!"

"We still have those of Corellia" pointed out the hologram of Senator Ro-Kiintor, also of Hevurion.

Gis shrugged: "For how long ??? The Collective is making us live in hell! I suggest we strike now!"

"And where?" asked the president of Arkanis Crosessov Eri by hologram. "We still haven't found their base, their conversations are encrypted and secret."

"It's all starting to be pretty perilous," said Zaste Lerk in his soft voice.

"What are you complaining about Lerk ???" barked Odror. "You always get your commission on the way right?"

"But money cannot protect us from the wrath of the Resistance and the Republic when it's restored." replied Lerk calmly. "The intergalactic banking clan has decided to withdraw." He got up followed by his assistants. He greeted them deeply: "We wish you good luck. And remember, this is not against you: business is business. "

"But of course" graciously greeted Ormes Apollin.

"Do you take it like this?" exclaimed General Gis once the door was closed on the representatives of the banking clan. "One of our main sources of borrowing leaves us and you let him go? Besides he can denounce us to the highest bidder ..."

"I know Ormes" soothed Ro-Kiintor "You should never trust appearances"

Ormes smiles mysteriously: "Don't be so defeatist, gentlemen! After all, what have we lost? The yards at Mon Cala, which in any case produced very few of our planes."

"They will provide the Resistance" pointed Bolgrive

"It would surprise me," replied Ormes calmly. "Admiral Camest was ordered to sabotage them if the game was badly started."

"We have nevertheless lost the banking clan and that's a major loss no matter what you say! Without them it will be more difficult to continue our little financial schemes."

"Who said we lost them?" smiled perniciously Ormes.

"But--"

"General Gis for a general you are long in relaxation" mocked Ro-Kiintor. "I think I understood the plan of Ormes"

Ormes squared a little more in his massive armchair, his massive platinum signet ringing against the wood.

"We are far from being annihilated, even by losing the Corellia shipyards we still have the Siennar company by our side thanks to our friend Raith here. And we still have the Kuat Drive Yards it's more than enough!"

KDY officials bombed the chest.

"Without counting our major asset: the Derriphan. No gentlemen I tell you : we are on the right track!"

He turned to the generals seated next to each other: "Continue to recruit discreetly for the militias. A few thousand more men will not do any harm. Let the military academies continue to work behind the scenes."

He got up and went to stand near a picture window looking at the city.

"The Resistance will waste an incredible amount of time pacting with free planets in order to increase its ranks. We will have flushed them out before that!"

"What makes you so sure about this?" asked one of the skeptical politicians.

Ormes' sadistic smile widens further: "An additional asset."

He waved towards one of the holograms which, unlike the others of generals, senators, financiers and allies of all kinds, had remained completely silent during the meeting. One could only make out a long black cape, the hood of which was lowered to mask the face of the interlocutor. He seemed to be squatting slightly as if he was watching for something. He hadn't made a move even when the banking clan was gone. Some leaned over to try to spot something under a cloak, a clue to the identity of this mysterious person. He or she by the way?

Ormes addressed the hologram with deference: "Please pay a little visit to the bank representative Zaste Lerk, he seems to have lost his mind now ..."

The shadow quickly nodded. Several members only realized why Ormes wasn't worried about the defection of the banking clan. Zaste Lerk was replaceable, they could deal with someone more accommodating than him. And if he didn't voluntarily leave his place, there was only to force a little hand to destiny.

"What if you could also keep looking for the location of the Resistance that--"

"Needless to say several times, I had already grasped" The whisper was barely audible.

"In addition I have an account to settle with a certain Jedi". The shadow leaned forward a little and we could see a devilish smile before the communication cut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Sienar compagny](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Raith_Sienar)
> 
> [Kuat Drive Yards](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Kuat_Drive_Yards)


	14. Farewell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it, I had trouble writing recently there are big problems at home.
> 
> ⚠⚠The end of the chapter is pretty gore so be careful when reading.
> 
> PLAYLIST : this [compilation](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRB3X1P4RBs) of classical music fits very well with funerals. I specify some are religious songs, far from me wanting to advocate anything it is just that these songs are magnificent.

__

_Mon Cala - Mourning shrines_

The songs resounded, harmonious and solemn. A sort of psalm in a thousand-year-old mon calamari dialect which resounded underwater in round and planing sounds. The voices seemed to come out from behind the sculpted rocks of the sanctuary as if the ancients were singing to welcome the deceased king among them.

A silent compact crowd awaited the start of the ceremony. The court had returned to the royal palace of Mon Cala city so that the ceremony could take place in the sanctuary as it had been customary for thousands of years.

Millions of quarren and my calamari were gathered in silence united in their mourning. In addition to this crowd were foreign dignitaries, representing their respective planets after the announcement of the king's death was made public on the Holonet. They were easily distinguished because they were wearing diving suits so they could breathe underwater.

Suddenly the harmonics modulated and the crowd split in two: the funeral procession appeared, swimming slowly. The body of the late king had been placed in a box that looked like the one that had kept him alive for several years. He was supported and pushed forward by family members. Then followed the whole courtyard in large combinations of mourning.

The procession stopped before the rocks of the illustrious of Mon Cala. You could see there, among others, the late King Lee-Char, Gial Ackbbar and General Quarren Nossor-Ri. That of the late King Ech-Char had just been added to it.

The ceremony began with addresses by the old wise men and women of Mon Cala, speaking on the fleeting side of life, on the need for everyone to do their part ...

The speech of the new King Grer-Char was particularly awaited. In view of the situation, he didn't want big ceremonies for his coronation, just a private event awaited by the councilors, the close family as well as the representatives of the Mon Cala parliament. There had been a small broadcast of the key moments of the ceremony on the Holonet but nothing more. So this speech would be his first real speech as king.

Not bothering with polite and frills formulas he began immediately:

“Those who knew my father well knew that he was not a man who attached importance to ceremonies. If he saw us now he would tell us to hurry and get back to work. "

He smiled sadly when he heard the crowd stifle a little laugh.

“My father was a good and generous man, a king who always preferred to put the good of his people before his. He was the most humble monarch I have ever known and when I was surprised when I was a child he answered me with something that marked me. He replied that nothing distinguished us from the others. That we were no different. That we were only fortunate enough to have illustrious ancestors. And that if we still occupy the same positions today it was because our fellow citizens deemed us worthy of representing them and that it was therefore our duty to always do our best for them. "

He paused.

“He spent his whole life doing everything possible to protect Mon Cala. He understood from the start that the Empire was only evil and he fought behind the scenes to liberate our planet and the galaxy alongside the Rebellion and now the Resistance. He knew that this commitment would cost the lives of many of us but he resolved to do so because he knew that despite the losses and the mourning, standing back with folded arms without intervening cannot be a viable solution on the long term. We suffered the yoke of tyranny in reprisal it is true but it would have been much worse if we had let ourselves go. We would have become slaves and we cannot tolerate it. My father clung to the hope that despite all our trials there would be a light at the end of the tunnel. Even though he knew it was the fairest thing to do, it was still deeply sad to see the death toll rise because - as he once entrusted to me - as king he considered himself the father of his subjects and their deaths caused him great pain. "

He swallowed: "Although the last years of his life were overshadowed by the threat of the First Order, he nevertheless left with a light heart knowing that Mon Cala was free again. "

He bowed his head, overcome with emotion, when he resumed he had not managed to hide the tremor in his voice:

"Let us remember him as a good and just king. "

“A new era begins. A new era full of promises and daunting challenges. May we learn from past mistakes and make sure we don't repeat them. May we find a way for everyone to live in peace as my father dreamed. May we put our differences aside to join together to build a better world. May our children never know the horrors of a new war. This is the wish I make today before you. In your name. And in my father's. "

He stepped back to make way for the wise of Mon Cala.

დდდდდდ

_Ajan Kloss_

The entire Resistance was assembled in full force near the holographic consoles watching the retransmission on the Holonet of the old king's funeral. For once everyone was silent, everyone was thinking at this very moment of all the friends who died in battle.

Rey detailed the ceremony to engrave it in her memory. She was used to burials: on Jakku the living conditions were such that the dead were counted no longer. She had seen a lot of funerals but which had nothing to do with the beautiful ceremony she was currently seeing. Usually they just dug a hole and threw the body in while relatives and opportunists argued over the grave the meager possessions of the deceased. And that if the person was lucky, otherwise the body was left in the open air and it was the scavengers who paid them the last tributes.

 _"When you don't know it's fascinating isn't it?"_ Ben asked through their link.

The ambient sounds vanished, she felt him approach, she knew that if she turned her head she would see the jungle.

 _Very_ she replied mentally.

He felt her curiosity and her thirst for knowledge, so he undertook to explain to her what was happening before her eyes:

_“Each carved rock represents a deceased person. They are supposed to keep the souls of the missing and guide those who come to them for advice. See what the wise man has? It is a shell. "_

_Seashell? I had never seen one yet ..._

Ben sketched a tender smile, Rey's delight and curiosity at the simplest things never ceased to amaze him. If he could, he would spend his life making her discover new things, if only to see her face tremble in excitement and her eyes sparkle in wonder.

_“The sage is doing a transfer ritual between the body of the deceased and a shell. He will then put it in the cleft of the rock as an offering to transfer the soul. "_

_What are they doing with the body?_ Rey wondered, puzzled. She had always seen the bodies being buried or burned, but how was it done underwater?

 _"Look"_ pointed at Ben.

The choirs had resumed in a plaintive homily which was gaining strength. Several men, including the new king and Aftab, had advanced and grabbed the capsule to push it forward.

The songs culminated in an apotheosis, the intensity greatly moved Rey and brought tears to her eyes. She felt Ben caress her back with his thumb, making small circles to soothe her. When the music did not seem to be able to go higher, the men who were wearing the capsule suddenly dropped it and it was carried away.

Rey turned to Ben, an eyebrow raised in question.

_"Underwater currents. The body is taken away by the water. They were born of the waves and when they died they returned to the waves. "_

The broadcast ended, the journalists were back to comment and interpret the king's speech. Suralinda cut, annoyed by recognizing incompetent former colleagues.

 _I need to talk to Poe about the departure,_ she announced to Ben

He nodded, tense, trying to hide his grimace.

"Can you explain to me why it's _so_ urgent that you return to Tatooine?" Poe sighed wearily. "Do you like it that much?"

Poe was tired. Both metaphorically and literally. He was tired of this never-ending war. Tired of feeling helpless in the face of the elements. Tired of always attending more burials.

Tired of being there waiting for a piece of the puzzle to unlock.

Physically he was tired. But of that he did not complain too much. A respite from this turmoil.

With a smile on his face, he thought back to the last two hot nights he had spent with Zorii, trying desperately to make up for lost time. They had made love passionately, rekindling their flames towards each other.

Definitely these were the most beautiful moments of his life. And if he listened to himself he would plant his meetings there, tear Zorii from her squadron and return with her immediately to the cave which served him as a room in order to beat their records of the previous night. Or he would take her under this waterfall that Major Angon had recently found during an excursion to map the base.

He did not feel this tiredness. However in addition to the rest had just added the fatigue of not understanding what was going on with Rey. She had just announced that she wanted to return to Tatooine. She was fleeing once again. Poe didn't understand anything anymore: for a moment she acted normally and the next moment she picked up conversations, went on excursions to the jungle. He had tried to talk to her, Finn too, but she hadn't let go. Only Rose seemed to be reassured and told them that everything was fine even if she couldn't tell them why. "Solidarity between girls" she had advanced.

Poe had then tried to find out more from his beautiful lady, but Zorii had not let herself be taken apart either. "You worry too much," she said to him, stroking his chest, curled up against him. She had started to bite his neck again and Poe had given up.

But Rey then came to tell her that she was going back to her desert and he tried to shoot her nose again.

“I only planned to be away for a few days. I can't leave the farm like that, I have to organize myself. 

  
_Which was not entirely a lie,_ Rey thought.

"I hear you well but we really need you here" pleaded Poe

" Not immediately. You said it yourself the development of the scanner will take several more days and we need it to go to Exegol ... And we have to wait for the return of diplomatic and spy missions "argued Rey

"Everything can be unlocked very quickly and what will we do if you are not there?" Poe started to get angry.

"They don't know where the base is!" "

" For the moment !! "

"I only need a few days Poe!" I will be back for the future, I promise "

"But what is on this planet that you want to return there in defiance of your commitment ?! Poe exploded.

Rey felt herself go pale, her tightness resurfaced: on one side Ben on the other the Resistance. She still believed that it was possible to make the two cohabit, but perhaps it was impossible? Like making two magnets of opposite polarity coexist.

Nevertheless it was not said that she would give up so easily. She needed this trip, need to be alone with Ben to figure out how they were going to play this part.

And Poe was running out of her patience.

“Thank you for putting the commitment of a _general_ before the other, _general_. "

They were no longer alone: their comrades watched the match, their heads watching them in turn. Finn was saying "he's giving up, settle your accounts between you thank you very much!" 

  
And to make matters worse Ben attended the confrontation and she felt his desire to make Poe swallow his teeth.

"And you _general_ , didn't you think that your repeated absences confused the troops?" said Poe angrily.

Rey tried not to pay attention to Ben who grumbled that " _it was good if the troops were puzzled they were like their leader. "_

"You're never there again, it's starting to chat in the ranks. You are not leading by example and you are general. Do you realize that if anyone else had asked for the same thing it would have been NO? We cannot afford preferential treatment. "

"I'm not asking you to pay me a vacation to Canto Bight but just to give me a few days to put my things in order." Is it too complicated to understand for you? "

Poe was indeed going to answer that it posed a problem to him and to put under her nose all her strange behaviors when Kaydel which attended the confrontation while working on her console raised her nose and launched with the cantonade:

"Seriously if I didn't know that Poe spent his nights making Zorii scream I would have sworn that you were in a couple considering the way you were fighting ..."

Rey saw Ben's eyes widen comically like saucers and heard him swear silently.

She stifled a laugh as she turned her attention back to her comrades and saw Poe's dismay.

"We don't make that much noise!" "

"No, barely," Rose snorted, laughing while continuing to weld.

Poe looked around and met knowing smiles and heard some gritty jokes from pilots.

" That much ? "

"Dameron" hissed Larma "we are in a cave everything and I mean everything, is loud! "

"And when by "all" we mean that we wouldn't want to know what's your favorite position" grumbled Ransolm with a glare.

 _"I would have done well without that too"_ grinned Ben who tried in vain to leave the connection.

"Nor how well built you are," Beaumont completed, shaking his head.

Poe couldn't stop his lips from stretching into a pure smile of male self-righteousness.

 _" Kill me !"_ Moaned Ben

"I'm sorry," Poe smiles, running his hand through his hair.

At least the interlude had the merit of relaxing the atmosphere between him and Rey.

He sighed as he looked at her, his hands clasped in front of his mouth: "Listen Rey ... I don't know what to say to you, I feel that you won't give up until I have given you my agreement. "

"The scanner will not be ready for several days Poe" intervened Rose "The programming gives us a hard time"

Poe seemed to be brooding inside then he decided:

"Would you like it?" "

"It's more than I need" whispered Rey relieved, quickly dodging a smile of thanks to Rose.

"I intend to leave tomorrow morning at least if the Falcon -"

"What are you taking the Falcon?" Exclaimed Poe

"Mhh yes? I had hoped to take it in case I have any equipment to bring back from Tatooine ... "

" _Since when does he have your name written on it elsewhere?"_ Scolded Ben

_"Ben! "_

_"Sorry,"_ he apologized, raising his arms in sign of surrender. _"No matter how hard I try, I block with him. "_

"It is our fastest ship that can hold several people and a large load without the need for a transporter!" Argued Poe.

He turned to the others: "Don't you agree with me?" "

There followed a brief debate in which Rose and Kaydel vehemently defended Rey, arguing that no one intended to use the Falcon yet; Ransolm and Beaumont did not see the problem with the absence of the ship. Only Larma and Maz could have challenged. The first just reserved her opinion for later and Maz ended up cheering and gave up.

Poe accepted his defeat but he met Finn's gaze, a silent communication seemed to be going on between them. They were thinking the same thing.

"Ok you take it Rey" yielded defeated Poe.

Rey thanked him with a big smile.

“Before thanking me, ask Chewie first. After all, he is the true guardian of the Falcon now." Said Poe

Against all expectations Chewie made no difficulty. Had he already been told by Maz, that Rey didn't know. The fact remains that she had seen the old woman talk to him again and then looked at her intensely. She had probed the Force well, but Maz seemed to contain her emotions and let nothing appear.

She joined Ben in the evening, disappearing discreetly during the meal. It was he who had suggested the Falcon. It had been his crazy plan before she got there. He had planned to fly it at night and join Tatooine to join her. But before he put his plan into action Rey had arrived.

She found him sitting cross-legged meditating on the promontory where they had observed the stars a few nights earlier and had then spent some delicious moments. They hadn't tried anything since they were interrupted. Not that they lacked the urge but they preferred not to be interrupted any longer.

 _Patience ... Soon_ sent Ben through the bond.

"Is that how you meditate?" Teased Rey

He opened one eye, relaxed his back and threw her little smirk that made her melt every time.

"I was finished anyway. "

She sat down in front of him and nervously rubbed her hands on his pants.

"I lowered the ramp of the Falcon under the pretext of making checks, we will wait a bit until the others go to bed and night falls and you can slip on board for the night." 

Ben nodded, distracted, he felt the young woman's anxiety floating around him.

He grabbed her hands: "Hey look at me!" Rey looked up from the ground and lost herself in his amber eyes. "It's going to be okay" he tried to appease her. "We'll make it "

Rey swallowed and put his forehead against hers, they began to breathe in unison, drawing on each other's Force to calm down.

" You feel better ?" Ends up asking Ben against her forehead.

"Yes" whispered Rey. "Although ... I would be really OK when we are in orbit. "

Ben sniffed amused. " Let's go ? " Ready to do battle.

They walked hand in hand, paying particular attention to how they felt in the Force.

" Someone comes !" Suddenly warns Ben.

He felt Rey start building up lots of hypotheses at full speed: a resistance fighter making a round? But why so far in the jungle? Did they have suspicions? Were they following her?

Rey put out her saber and they melted into the night. Ben bent his knees, ready to jump on the stranger if necessary. He was not going to be captured without a fight.

Rey was assessing the chances they had. Honestly skinny. A lightsaber for two, even with the Force they would not make the weight if the whole base fell on them.

Ben was the first to release a relieved breath and emitted a little amused _tss_ before putting his hands in his pants.

"Dameron ..."

Indeed it was Poe who appeared, lit by a light stick and accompanied by Zorii. The two heckled intermittently and kissed just as much.

Rey whispered: "Fortunately we were not at the waterfall, they would have come across us. "

  
They came within sight of the Falcon, everything seemed calm in the cave from afar. Nobody was watching. The ramp was still lowered, they exchanged a glance then ran quickly out of the jungle and climbed the ramp as quietly as possible.

It didn't take him a moment to get used to the darkness of the ship. Despite the years he still knew it by heart. His chest tightened to hurt him, he had a lump in his throat. Many memories came to the surface. Memories of his childhood. When the nightmares and the voices in his head hadn't yet taken over. Before his parents, especially his mother, take fright of his power and send him to his uncle.

He saw himself again briefly on his father's lap playing with the controls, dreaming of the day when he would be old enough to pilot the ship with his uncle Chewie as co-pilot while his father and uncle Lando were cheating one against the other at sabacc.

"Are you okay?" Worried Rey

Without realizing it, he must have spread his sadness in the Force and Rey had perceived it.

He reassured her with a wave of his hand.

"I'm going to stand guard in one of the bedrooms. Go to sleep in the cave so as not to arouse suspicion. "

Before she went down the ramp, Ben pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately. "'Night sweetheart," he whispered in the corner of her mouth.

None of them had detected in the Force the three people who had secretly climbed the cave with great difficulty so as to be on the top of the rocky mass after dark. Armed with infrared binoculars, they observed the open space in front of the cave.

"You were right Chewie. Your sense of smell hadn't betrayed you, ” Maz murmured.

Chewie let out a strangled groan.

"I know Chewie" sighed Maz sadly.

"It's not going to be easy," said Lando.

"I know" replied Maz darkly "we will have to play tight"

The next morning, the Falcon soared into the sky as expected. On board, Rey, BB-8 and Ben still hidden. Poe had grumbled when Rey had embarked the droid but he had finally recognized that BB-8 having helped her a lot on the farm, he would be useful.

Rose, Kaydel, Jannah and Zorii wished her well on the way with messages full of innuendo wishing her a beautiful reunion with her "Tatooine's secret".

Maz had drawn the young woman aside and handed her several small packages.

"From Leia" she explained "Open them when you have time."

Rey nodded her throat, knocking back tears. As she went to climb the ramp Maz enjoined her to be careful while staring at her with such an incisive look that gave the impression that the old woman knew all her secrets. Rey had smiled at her as best she could despite her concern. It was not the first time that Maz had given the impression of knowing everything. She was sensitive to Force but at what point? Did she really feel Ben?

  
Poe and Finn had watched the ship go into orbit together, apart from the other friends who came to say goodbye to Rey. They did not want their conversation to be heard.

"Have you checked?" Asked Poe.

"Yep and _a priori_ the tracer is still there and functional"

"So we will know if she really intends to go to Tatooine ..."

"Do we warn the others or not?" "

Poe ran his hand over his face before deciding: "No, not immediately, they are convinced that everything is fine for a reason that they don't want to reveal. We will tell them if there is really a problem. "

He looked at the spacecraft that was in the process of starting its space jump sequence.

He was ready to bet his X-wing that Rey was hiding something but he still hoped to be wrong.

დდდდდდ

_Kuat_

Ormes Apolin was opening a delicately crafted wooden box inlaid with jewels and gold.

He smiled sadistically at the content.

He noticed a small note on a parchment.

_As you can see I fear that Zaste Lerk has really lost his mind this time ..._

Perfect. The new representative of the banking clan would normally be much more accommodating than the old one. And if it was not the case well they would only have to pray so that the destiny acts again...

"How about I send flowers with condolences to your widow Zaste? Mhh what do you think?"

Zaste Lerk's lifeless head looked at him without seeing him unable to answer ...


	15. It always supposed to be the two of us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Tell me how you became Kylo"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the last chapter BEFORE the holidays. I would be with the family H24 so no time to post, I would try to write by hand and type when I get back!
> 
> The chapter contains many elements of the comics "The rise of Kylo Ren" I recommend them for that matter!
> 
> I wanted Rey and Ben to finally have a real conversation and where Ben opens his heart. They must learn to trust each other!
> 
> PLAYLIST : For the burning temple I wrote with the music of the a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5jzQW1qmlE&feature=emb_title" rel="nofollow">funeral of Qui Jon . So beautiful and sad.
> 
> Then : The combat in the mine, I choose several musics of John Williams ["Battle of the heroes"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHuD5y-PZM0&feature=emb_title) mix with ["Duel of fates"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlYCxbBZUCY&feature=emb_title) when Obi-Wan fights Anakin in the lava. Here it's the same situation except that is Ben versus Tai. Samuel Kim mixed the [ two musics](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHxOg6zNg9Q&feature=emb_title) it's perfection !!! 
> 
> And for the romantic part this is You are my everything by Gummy. A perfect song. Listen the [english version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yW8E5UVT7bM&feature=emb_title) and [the original version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUBlw65Xaa4&feature=emb_title) . It's so much Ben and Rey !!!!
> 
> When I see stars, I think of you  
> Then I always pray for you
> 
> And I know what my heart was made for  
> To love you  
> Forevermore
> 
> When I feel you in my heart  
> Then I hear your voice from your eyes  
> I'll always love you  
> And i'm waiting for you until the end of time
> 
> Here I am (on my) way to you  
> I hope that someday you will realize  
> That I can see forever in your eyes  
> And I'm wishing my dream will come true  
> I am lost without you  
> You are my everything
> 
> Isn't it clear to see  
> You belong with me  
> We are meant to be  
> In love eternally  
> My love
> 
> Here I am (on my) way to you  
> I hope that someday you will realize  
> That I can see forever in your eyes  
> And I'm wishing my dream will come true  
> I am lost without you  
> You are my everything

__

_Somewhere in hyperspace._

The Falcon was racing through space.

Rey had waited until the ship was launched to send a mental signal to Ben telling him to get out of the cabin where he had spent the night watching over.

Hesitant, he joined her in the cockpit. He had spent a difficult night, many childhood memories linked to the ship had returned. And now that the Falcon was roaring and shaking it was even worse. When he entered the cockpit, he had to lean on the doorframe again as on Starkiller, he was so overwhelmed with remorse.

He could almost see and hear his father sitting at Rey's place grumbling: "Hey kid, don't play with the buttons!" "

He again had a lump in his throat and a loose stomach. Rey greeted him with a big smile feeling his distress and motioned him to approach.

Officiating as a co-pilot stood the little sphere droid that had been Ben's nightmare in the past. When he saw Ben he began frantically producing a series of panicked beeps, moving forward and backward without knowing what to do.

"BB-8 this is Ben. I told you about him." Rey announced softly, shaking Ben's hand candidly.

BB-8 beeped in response that yes he remembered and although he had been sad to know Rey devastated by his death he had remembered the fact that Ben had chased him and there _now_ he was anything but quiet.

Ben crouched down next to him and showed him his empty hands, adding: "I don't intend to dismantle you. Promised. "

Between the word _dismantle_ and the kind of imperfect smile Ben sported, BB-8 got scared and fled, driving at full speed into the corridor.

"I think I said something I shouldn't have," Ben grinned, running his hand through his hair.

"He will get used to it," Rey laughs softly.

There was a moment of flutter when they looked at the cockpit chairs, hesitating to sit down.

"Take the pilot's seat, I don't mind. It comes back to you. "

Ben smiled sadly, "I don't feel worthy of it." Not yet. Keep it. And ... " he added with a mischievous smile " I always wanted to see how you drove "

Rey stuck out her tongue as she sat back in the pilot's seat and he found himself to be the co-pilot. The next few minutes went by to explain Rey about the modifications that had been made to the ship and which now needed to be watched. _Seriously who was the moron who had added a compressor AND a fuel pump?_

He couldn't help but observe Rey, her eyes devouring the galaxy, the light from the cockpit which brought out her freckles ...

They were finally alone and the sudden closeness and the promises that went with it began to be right in his resolve not to touch her before they arrived.

Rey seemed to have the same difficulties as him: each time she had to pass over him to activate a controller she was very careful not to graze him. She too knew that if their skins were grazing now, with their years deprived of love, a chain reaction would occur that neither would have the will to stop.

So he was relieved when she wanted to chat. At least until she announces the subject.

"Tell me how you became Kylo. "

Ben sank back into his seat, his eyes lost in the stars, silent.

"Ben? "Rey insisted" You know we're in there together no matter what. But I need to know. We have to learn to trust each other and for that we have to know everything about each other. I want to learn it from you. ”

Ben remained silent for several more minutes and Rey was afraid that he would push her away, but finally he scratched his throat and launched himself, still gazing at the stars:

"My mom told you about my nightmares but no one can describe what it's like to have a voice that has been talking to you in your head for as long as you can remember. There was that voice that reassured me, consoled me when I was alone and sad. She told me that I was a strong person with enormous potential. And the abandoned little boy that I was needed to hear that. "

Ben suppressed his tears, Rey felt it, she shared his emotions through their connection and she too felt a lump in her throat. She imagined the large apartment where Leia and Han were only spending the morning and evening for Leia and more sporadically for Han who was constantly on the go. Both too absorbed by their respective careers to care for a son who needed a lot of attention.

“The voice was pleasant. However, the nightmares were hell. Voices calling me, screaming in agony, screams. I have never slept a full night until now. "

He had turned his head towards her and looked at her with bright eyes.

“My parents really tried, seeing all the therapists and they all concluded that it would go away with age. My parents used to take me to bed when I was little, telling me their stories, singing songs to me. Let's say it calmed down a bit. When I went back to sleep the screams were less loud. ”

“But everything changed when I grew up and my powers were manifested. Sad as I was I sometimes let myself be overwhelmed with emotions and it went far. " He swallowed: " There were accidents, hidden by my parents, but I did not control myself, I threw objects and one day my father was injured. It was after that that they started to speak privately behind my back but I knew they were doing it anyway. "

He paused, tilting his head back and closing his eyes.

"The voice kept talking to me, reassuring me, telling me that even if my parents didn't like me, he, Snoke, would still be my friend. And I believed it, I thought my parents rejected me because I was different. A - a _monster_. "

Her voice broke and a tear rolled down her cheek.

Rey leaned over and gently put her hand on his cheek wiping the tear. Ben took a deep breath against her palm and resumed his story, his cheek still leaning in her hand:

"I was sent to my uncle I venerated, I rarely saw him before that, he only came to birthdays. It was my favorite moment when he came and I could see his saber. He offered me crystals for fun. Part of me was happy to go with him and study the Jedi way, but another part would have liked to stay with my parents. I didn't want to be just a Jedi, I wish I could be an adventurer like my father, but I had no choice. My parents did what they believed best for me and in doing so they pushed me even more. I only saw them once or twice a year. "

His eyes were so sad, literally haunted by what he was reliving.

“Luke was a good master. At first it was only me. We were like a father and a son. And Snoke was more discreet in my head.

Then other students arrived and Luke had less time for me. Being more gifted I often trained alone while helping other students. And Snoke came back in full force: he reminded me that my parents had abandoned me, that they were afraid of me, that my uncle underestimated me, did not trust me, that he too was afraid of me, this kind of things. I also heard other voices, the one I knew to be Vader. Snoke told me it was because I was destined for the dark side. I was then convinced that there was indeed something wrong with me. I was bad. And that was why my family got rid of me ... "

He suddenly turned his head towards Rey he seemed to have a sudden idea: "Please enter my head" he asked him. "You will see my memories ..."

Rey hesitated, she wanted to know but was she ready to face the darkness that Ben contained?

"Please," he begged her, his voice broken.

Rey reached out shyly to him and closed her eyes to focus. She was visualizing Ben, she was directing the Force towards him towards his mental barriers and suddenly she was in his head, she saw images parading before her.

_Are you all right my friend?_

Snoke's sweet voice caused a shiver of disgust in Rey. No chance she will forget this monster, his breath on her face.

She saw a young Ben, about 12 years old, sitting in a cockpit. It was exactly as she had imagined him: shorter brown curls not completely hiding his ears, a shy look, in adoration in front of the galaxy. He did not yet have this gravity in his features, he still seemed carefree. But she felt in him an annoyance, a rage to prove himself, to prove to all and especially to his uncle his value.

_Your master considers you as a child, one day he will recognize your true abilities._

Rey gnashed her teeth at the skillful manipulation. They underestimate you but _I_ know your value ... For a boy lacking in love and self-esteem this kind of sentence must particularly touch him.

Ben shrugged, confirming, "I was a lonely teenager, I had few friends. The others were either afraid of me or were jealous because of my abilities ”

Rey saw other students, girls and boys practicing wisely in the grass under the watchful gaze of a younger Luke. Dynamic. The lively look, the short hair, an almost reddish blond beard. He looked so different from the bitter old Jedi she had met on Ach-To.

She saw some children making fun of Ben, for his ears. Each time she saw him stay stoic in front of them and swallow his tears. But once alone in his little hut he hit his pillow with all his might, howling with sadness in his pillow to stifle his crying.

Growing up, he had revolted a little, he had stung a few anger and that was enough. It must be said that he had sent waltz with the Force some of his comrades several meters away shaking them violently. Which had earned him a whole month of penance and additional meditations.

_He's not defending you_ whispered Snoke. _He never takes your part. He tries to break you because you are stronger than him._

  
Ben let his tears run down his cheeks at these painful memories. Rey placed her hands on either side of his face and pressed her forehead against his, consoling him.

"As a reminder, I really like your ears," she whispered and wiping her tears with those thumbs.

He chuckled and pulled her from her seat to his thighs, making her sit astride him, tightening his grip around her waist. Leaving his forehead against her he let her see other memories.

  
They also put him aside because they were the master's nephew, the best student, so gifted in the Force.

A young girl with dark skin and white braided hair seemed to be particularly angry with him. She always tried to confront him during the exercises wanting to measure herself against him.

"Voe ..." Ben whispered. His breath falling on her lips. “She always tried to outdo me in everything. And I think she hated me because she couldn't. "

Another boy appeared. A quarren. Rey felt the corners of Ben's lips stretch into a smile: "Hennix. The cleverest. The funniest too. Lots of humor. And then there was ... Tai. " Ben's smile sagged.

Rey then saw a young man with a shaved head appear in his head. Ben and he seemed close. They were older. Ben was no longer the shy, self-effacing boy she had seen earlier. Instead stood a handsome young man, tall, muscular, with brown curls falling casually. A brighter version of the Kylo Ren that she would meet.

Tai seemed to be the only one who cared about Ben, always there to help him, training with him, intervening when other students came to fetch him.

"Why are you hiding so much from yourself Ben?" "

The two boys were near a stream. Ben had come there alone to be quiet and Tai had joined him.

"I don't know what you're talking about Tai, I put my guts in everything I do ..."

"Don't play that with me Ben you know that I feel things in the Force ... You have a black box in your head which is well locked. Like everyone else, but yours is really well closed ”

"You know why" grinned Ben thoughtfully

"Yeah, you're Ben Solo. This is precisely the problem: you need to be who you really are. I don't need to know all your secrets, but you need to know that you will be accepted as you are. I know you Ben Solo, you're not as bad as you think ...

Don't worry about others. Be the one you want and the rest will follow. "

Ben was lost in thought, Rey felt a mixture of confused feelings: sadness, regret, love, guilt ...

Whatever happened afterwards, Tai seemed to have been Ben's true friend. The big brother. Why didn't Ben have listened to him ?

"Because shortly after it was revealed the true identity of my grandfather. And everything exploded around me, ”Ben replied, peeling his forehead from Rey's and looking her in the eyes.

Images of a planet reached her. A tavern. A plasma screen where journalists were talking about what had just happened in the Senate: Leia Organa had recognized that her biological father was Darth Vader. Rey felt her chest squeeze out of breath as if it was she who was experiencing internal pain.

She saw Ben staring at the screen in shock. She saw his features decay at full speed. His whole life was just a lie. They all lied to him. An immeasurable rage and sadness invaded him.

He folded his hood over his head and left the bar, jostling anyone in his way.

"Ben! "Called his uncle behind him. In vain.

He ran out of breath. All his life he had wondered why he heard Vader. Snoke was right he was destined for the dark side. He was a monster.

_I told you so, my young friend_ whispered emphatically Snoke.

"You were right on everything Snoke, I should have listened to you" Ben angrily wiped his tears with his fist.

He had run to the ship without realizing it. He got on board and collapsed on the seat.

"Master Solo, what's going on?" Asked the GG droid assigned to the ship.

Ben didn't answer, hammering his fist at the console with his fist. Each blow more angry than the last.

"May the master forgive me but there is a hologram of your mother ..." hesitated the droid.

Rey saw Ben raise his head, anger replaced by indescribable pain. She had been lying to him all this time. It was her lie that affected him the most.

He checked the messages. Leia appeared with her face bathed in tears.

"My son ..." Leia gasped choppily. "I have to talk to you. What I should tell you I should have told you a very long time ago but your father and I-- Leia paused, wringing her hands-- "Your father and I thought it was the best thing to do to wait. I mean you were already so upset, we didn't want to add stress to you. "

Rey saw Leia take a deep breath before continuing: “My biological father was Darth Vader. My mother as you already know was Padmé Amidala the queen and senator of Naboo. She knew Anakin Skywalker during the events leading up to the Clone Wars. They secretly loved each other, got married and when Anakin sank in the dark side she was pregnant with Luke and me.

When she learned the truth about Anakin she lost the will to live and died after giving birth to us. Master Yoda and Kenobi in agreement with the Organa felt that it was more prudent to hide our existence and make it appear that we were dead with Padmé. I was entrusted to Organa and Luke to his uncle and aunt Lars.

We only learned the truth during our fight against the Empire. I never considered Vader as my father and I kept it a secret.

Probably because I was ashamed. And today everything has just been revealed. "  
  


Leia was wringing her hands "My political career has just stopped dead but it doesn't count. What matters is you and your future. I beg you my son, don't especially believe that the part of shadow in you, predestined you to become like him. We all have choices to make and I know - her voice quivered in tears - I know you're a good guy Ben and I'm so sorry, you can't know how I am.

Please call me at any time. I love you. "

With the hologram gone, Ben stood there swinging his arms looking up at the void until quick steps were heard behind him. Luke appeared, breathless.

"Ben ..." he started "Let's discuss it on the way back?"

Ben raised his hand: "It's not worth the trouble, there is nothing to say. "

Luke looked at him from top to bottom and looked like he was about to say something but he finally gave up and sat in his pilot seat and launched the takeoff sequence.

"I never called her," Ben whispered, his head curved, buried in Rey's neck, who had laid her head over his and stroked his hair in long, soothing movements.

"I should have but I was so sad and angry, so betrayed. This hologram is the last message from her that I have, ”he finished, collapsing.

He shows her other memories. Their mission returns to the Jedi temple. One more test. All students on the tarmac near the ramp. Even on a planet as remote as this the news had spread.

"Master Skywalker Grin heard that—

"Master, is it true that--?" "

Luke looked at them all with kindness and nodded gravely. " Yes, it's true. I am the son of Darth Vader. And if there is one thing that I tried to teach you, it is that we should not be defined by what our parents do-- "

Ben listened with one ear to the soothing speech of his uncle, he saw some of his comrades whispering, pointing to him. Luke was the great Jedi master whose nobody would question his dark side, but he? Him Ben Solo, so powerful, so enigmatic, able to put himself in immeasurable rages? What about him?

"How much do you bet Ben will become like him?" Voe whispered low enough that Luke couldn't hear.

Ben had heard and clenched his fists so much his bones scream.

  
Rey felt Ben stiffen against her, uncomfortable and hugged her a little more like he wanted to be sure that she wouldn't leave in front of what she was going to discover.

Rey saw Ben, more and more dark, cutting himself off even more from others, rejecting his uncle, becoming even more sarcastic.

She knew that the next pictures would be the ones she had seen in the past. The hut. Luke and his saber. The burning temple.

She saw Ben catch his saber at full speed, awakened by the activation of his uncle's saber. She saw the blue blade adorn the green blade. She saw Ben in a gesture of self-defense collapsing the hut on them.

And then nothing. Black. She understood that Ben must have been unconscious.

And then she saw the images come back. Ben came out of the rubble, rang, saber in hand.

" WHY ?! He cried broken, towards the temple.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT ??? "

There was so much pain in his voice that Rey faltered.

He looked at the temple which shone in the night. At this hour everyone was in meditation. Except for him who had decided that he would do without and go to bed.

Suddenly the sky glowed strangely behind the temple and before Ben realized it, lightning struck the temple and the surrounding buildings, spraying them.

" No ! Cried Ben, rushing towards the blaze, determined to save his comrades. But lightning struck him and pressed him to the ground preventing him from advancing.

"I never - I never wanted that! Ben moaned on his knees looking at the temple being reduced to ashes.

_You didn't choose Ben. The Jedi did. Skywalker..._

He stayed there a long time watching the raging fire.

" I don't understand ! Said Rey "I thought you destroyed the temple." Luke told me! YOU told me ! "

"I know Rey," replied Ben, imploring her with a glance, "but at the time I was still convinced that my rage had caused this. I was so angry at the time that it could have been me who unconsciously dropped the lightning. Today I know it was Palpatine who did this to speed up my changeover ”

"All this time I thought--" snapped Rey in shock. "You didn't do anything to them, Ben!" "

Ben shook his head: "You don't know the whole story Rey, wait before you judge me innocent"

  
Ben was watching the fire.

"Ben!" Someone shouted.

He turned around. Voe, Tai and Hennix had just emerged from the rubble.

" Oh. You three. You were off planet, that's right. "

" What's happened ? Asked Tai

"Where's Master Skywalker?" Continued Hennix

Ben did not answer.

" _Where_ is Luke Ben?" We no longer feel his presence ”worried Tai.

As far as they know, Ben said to himself.

"He attacked Tai. Tried to kill me while I slept. And now he's dead." he dropped.

He should probably be sad, right? After all it was his uncle. It would be normal. So why did he not feel anything? Aside from anger.

" It is not possible ! cried Voe incredulously. "Master Skywalker would never harm any of us! And you Ben Solo, you couldn't-- "

"What Voe?" You don't believe me capable of it? YOU think I'm not strong enough?" cried Ben, mad with rage. Years of releases were coming to the surface.

"I'm stronger than the three of you put together. Skywalker lifted us up saying we were all equal but you all know the truth: I am the best student. "

"And I'm stronger than Luke Skywalker himself," he added in a low voice almost to convince himself.

Ben saw volteface and started to move away but Tai stopped him by the shoulder, trying to see more clearly:

"Ben please, your story ... it can't be true. There must be more. Talk to us ! It can't be as bad as you say. "

They didn't believe him. None had ever believed him.

_Not even your family ..._

He quickly emerged: "I told you the truth, I'm leaving, you should do the same ..."

"You're not going anywhere Ben" growled Voe as she grabbed her saber followed by Hennix.

Ben looked at them almost amused, were they serious?

"No, Ben, we just want to chat," Tai tried to reason. But Voe and Hennix had already sprung their blades

Ben's lips stretched into a thin smile: "None of you are Jedi." "

He pointed his finger at Voe: "Because you're afraid. Especially you Voe. And you're right "

He stepped back a little more, still without having drawn his saber: "Let me go. I would not be responsible for what will happen if you force me to confront you. "

"Don't worry Solo, I'll take responsibility," groaned Voe. And with that she leaps at him, saber in the air.

"Voe NO! Tai yelled.

Ben raised his hand and Voe was trapped in the air paralyzed.

"I warned you," growled Ben, closing his palm, and Voe was sent to Hennix, throwing them both on the ground.

"Ben why are you doing this?" asked Tai pained.

"Don't do this Tai" warns Ben "I'll give you a chance to get away! "

Voe and Hennix got up, furious: "Do you really think you're worth more than the three of us ?! We will see ! "

Ben looked at them then he sighed. The dice were played. So be it.

He did not move and concentrated in the Force. He felt his energy boiling in him.

The debris around them began to take off from the ground at the same time and was thrown in all directions.

Hennix screamed in pain: a piece of wood was stuck in his side.

Ben felt his pain. Even angry he was sorry for the pain he had just caused to his friend.

"I warned you," he whispered before turning on his heel.

  
Ben clung to her so tightly that she was sure she would have marks. He was breathing noisily, sweat covering his forehead caused by the effort he made to scroll through his memories.

"We can stop if you want" she proposed

"No" objected Ben "You need to know"

He boarded the same ship he piloted the day he learned the truth about his grandfather.

He swept the worries of the droid GG over the fire he had seen in the distance and looked one last time at the place where he had spent more than 10 years of his life. And with a furious fist he launched the takeoff of the ship.

To go where ? He had no one left ...

He was pulled from his thoughts by the radar signifying that he was being chased.

Dirt of Voe. She did not let go.

Did she really think she had a chance in an aerial fight against him? Flying was innate for him. Always.

He took a wide turn, allowing a volteface and thus found himself rushing straight at them. He had chosen this ship because it reminded him a lot of the Falcon but in an improved and more recent version.

He activated the cannons, aimed and pulled the trigger. The guns roared and touched a precise place the engine of its pursuers. Not enough to kill them, but enough that they couldn't follow him.

"Master, don't you have a destination?" Perhaps a visit to your home at Hosnian Prime has been a long time ... "proposed GG.

The soft face of his mother imposed on him. Her braids, her kind eyes. She would never believe it when he told her what her brother had done.

_It happened right? We feared it ..._

A cold resolution took possession of him.

"No, not Hosnian Prime. I know where I am going. "

Ben was in pain. The more he advanced in his explanations the more he was overwhelmed with sadness and guilt. Only the presence of Rey allowed him to hold on. He had buried his head in her neck and inhaled the smell to soothe him. She was his compass.

Knowing that she was curious, he took time to show her Snoke's planet.

Rey had the impression of seeing a satellite made entirely of transparent glass and which seemed to shelter an entire tropical forest.

" My boy "

Rey shivered when she saw Snoke but she was still surprised. He wore a green silk tunic covered with a leather loincloth embroidered with flowers. And he had long hair ?!

He held out his arms to Ben who went to hug him in an embrace that was reminiscent of that of a father.

Rey wanted to throw up.

Snoke seemed to be listening to Ben carefully as if what he was saying was the most interesting thing.

"Let's leave Skywalker aside, it hurt you too much. How may I help you ? "

"I had thought of the Knights of Ren"

"Mhh they could help you free yourself but I have to say: Ben Solo Jedi apprentice? The knights would not be interested in him. "

Ben clenched his teeth: "I hate this name"

" Why this ?" asked Snoke gently. "You have inherited a famous name." The manipulation was so well balanced.

"Exactly Snoke!" Obi-Wan Kenobi! The great Jedi. Everyone expects me to be like him, but I've never met him. When Solo is not even his real name. It is a lie. EVERYTHING is a lie! "

A droid comes to bring news of a certain General Hux.

_Run away Ben_ thought Rey.

"What is your truth my young friend? Snoke asked taking Ben's cheek in his hand. " Who are you ? To join the knights you will have to take this name. It is the path on the dark side, by kissing it you really become the one you were destined to become. "

Ben said nothing, thoughtful.

" Oh yes !" Whispered Snoke. "I see this name in your head"

"It's nothing" grumbled Ben "it's a stupid thing that I used as a kid"

“Children's thoughts are pure, they are themselves. By using this name you are yourself "

"Locating the knights will be your first test. One way to prove your worth. But I warn you the price to pay to join them is heavy. You have no room for error. You will have to join them or die ”

  
Rey was shaken by silent sobs: "So sorry, I have judged you so many times without knowing" she whispered, stroking his hair.

"Wait until you see the rest before you apologize," Ben muttered. He didn't want her pity, he didn't deserve it.

They were back again when Ben was young. He, Luke and Lor San Tekka contemplated a magnificent Jedi temple carved in the rock and whose entrance was surrounded by giant Jedi statues.

They entered the sanctuary, Luke was amazed at their discoveries. But suddenly Ben noticed it was cold.

In front of them came the knights of Ren. Rey recognized them but was surprised, she believed that it was Ben who had created the group nut they seemed to exist for a longer time.

Their leader was surprising to say the least. Shirtless, very muscular, arms and torso black with burns. He bore a silver steel mark streaked with red marks.

And he seemed particularly arrogant, constantly taunting Luke.

Who did not allow himself to be dismantled, arguing that it was a Jedi outpost which therefore belonged to the Jedi order, that is to say him, the last Jedi. Although not for long, he added, looking at his nephew.

Ben didn't like that they laugh at his uncle. Rey felt her heart sinking as she realized how much he had loved Luke. Such a waste...

The six knights leapt out of arms on Luke and Rey was impressed. She had never seen other jedi in combat before and she had the memory of an aging Luke. The Luke she saw before her was nothing old. He swirled his saber, sending his enemies waltzing with the Force, flexing backwards to the ground to avoid the blows.

Ben and Lor were just as amazed. The fight ended as quickly as it started when Luke disarmed them with the Force and broke their weapons.

All that remained was their leader who activated the decay mode of his saber. If he left his hand he would explode. Luke was not impressed at all. The other knew how to recognize his weaknesses and preferred to leave "because life was too fun to die".

But before leaving, he launched a final bang: "you said you could feel the darkness in each of us didn't you?" But do you know that your apprentice also has a dark one? I would be careful if I were you old man ... "

"It's time for you to leave" warns Luke

"I know," Ren replied. But he then made an unexpected gesture: he took off his mask which revealed a magnificent, harmonious and flawless face whose blue eyes fixed their interlocutors, the white hair braided back

"Hey little one! Are you sure this is the life you want?" "

"Last chance ..." warns Luke

"I heard old man. If you ever want to know more about your little blackness, join us »

And with that he left leaving his mask behind him.

  
Ben was again in the dustiest outpost. The helmet was still there intact. He took it and looked at it for a long time then to find out what it would be like to hide his face and no longer have anyone's gaze on him. He then put it on his head.

To his surprise, he heard Ren's voice: "Hello kid, I was wondering if we would hear from you one day." We are in Varrak in the middle border. Join us ! "

The only problem was that he was no longer alone.

Indeed, Voe, Tai and Hennix had just entered, barring his saber path once again.

"It's over, Ben. You have nowhere to run away "

Ben immediately drew.

He felt that someone was trying to access his thoughts.

"Get out of my head Tai" he groaned, throwing his friend several meters away.

" Give me a break ! He yelled, leaping several yards toward a higher rock.

Obviously Voe did not let go and ran behind him: "It's too late for that Solo!" 

Hennix seemed unable to follow them because of his fresh wound.

Voe jumped from rock to rock to reach Ben while yelling, "How could you betray us? Master Skywalker and us? "

Hennix ran up the rocks on foot while Tai regained consciousness.

"You are only a murderer and you must be brought to justice!" Voe continued to shout.

The rage instantly consumed Ben. Over 10 years of living together and she believed him capable of such a thing ?!

"Do you think I'm a killer Voe?" He growled threateningly, turning around. "Is that what you want me to be ??? Perfect ! "

And on this he projected her into the void of more than ten meters.

" NO !" Yelled Hennix

"No.Not that please" begged Tai who was downstairs and saw Voe fall.

The rage left Ben suddenly, he realized what he had done, he immediately retracted his hand to hold Voe in her fall but it was hard he had trouble holding.

Hennix appears behind him, screaming "Monster! You killed her! And threw his saber at him, which spun at him at top speed, the blade turning so fast that it became invisible.

Ben was forced to block and return the blade but in doing so he let go of Voe. He heard a horrible scream: Hennix's blade had flung over him and had cut him in half.

Ben leaned over him; he died instantly. He punched the rock with his fist. He never wanted that. But who would believe it? No one.

He went back downstairs and found Tai who had managed to save Voe.

"Go to the outpost," he ordered them.

"Where's Hennix?" worried Tai

"It doesn't matter anymore. "

Seeing that they would not move, he propelled them with a hand gesture into the outpost and holding out both hands forward he made the rocks collapse in front of the openings. The jedi statues collapsed.

By the time they get out of there it, he would be far away.

Ben was trembling under his fingers. But he continued to show her his memories.

He had found the knights in a bar. A discussion ensued where Ben had to prove to Ren that he had made a beautiful death. He had to tell the story of the fight against his friends, what they meant to him, tell them about their childhoods. Rey felt that he was trying at all costs to present himself as a monster in order to be accepted by them but Ren was not fooled. Hennix's death was not a nice death for him because Ben hadn't really wanted it. Nevertheless he found him promising and offered to accompany them. They found him clothes because the Knights of Ren had a reputation to hold.

Rey almost choked on laughing instantly. Who was this guy? He could almost have passed for a snobby stylist.

She really choked on seeing Ben all in black and leather, a blaster hanging from his right hip and his sword behind his back. He looked so much like his father like that. The adventurer. The scoundrel.

She heard him laugh sadly: "Would we have a weakness for bad boys? "

She smiled sadly, she knew the story was not over.

  
He was in what seemed like a mine with the Knights of Ren. People were on their knees begging Ren who threatened to kill them if they did not say where tyhe were hiding what he was looking for.

"There could be another way Ren" enjoined Ben

He reached for the struggling prisoner and started to scream. Rey started to shiver remembering his interrogation at Kylo's hands, he had been gentle with her and yet it had not been pleasant. She did not want to experience the pain that this man was experiencing. Or Poe.

"Stop! You are killing him, ”begged one of the prisoners.

"No, I'm just looking at what he has in his head. 3 floors below, a sealed door »

Even Ren seemed impressed.

"It is a variation of the Jedi's mental manipulation. Snoke taught it to me, but it's the first time I've used it, ”explained Ben.

" Very useful. Guys if you don't mind ... "

And suddenly all the prisoners were being massacred.

Ben stood there, shocked. "Ren ... you said you would release them ..."

"That's what I did" replied Ren coldly "they are at peace where they are now"

Ben was nauseous he didn't think it would be like that.

_Jedi believe that their rules and morals made them strong. When in fact it freezes them and they are thus more vulnerable. The Knights of Ren do what they want which makes them free. Whatever they need to survive and triumph they will._

He saw them launch themselves to massacre the other guardians of the treasure.

He didn't want to do that, he had been taught not to kill the innocent and that was exactly what they were doing. He should oppose.

"Don't tell me you're scared kid" scoffed Ren "I'm really starting to wonder if you're really what Snoke touted us. Ren's knights KILL people. Anyone who is not one of us is a potential target. And you're running out of time to show me that you're one of us, ” he warns.

"Ben!" Someone shouted.

Ren and Ben looked up and saw Voe and Tai sabers activated.

" Who is that ? scolded Ren

Ben stared at his surprised old friends. Their faces reflected disgust and a desire to do battle.

Ben squared his shoulders. We were there.

"The past" he replied coldly to Ren, drawing his saber which was behind him.

Voe jumped down below to help the people who were being massacred and Tai found himself facing Ben.

" How did you find me ? Asked Ben. He was sure he had left no traces.

"Through the Force Ben" explained Tai calmly - how could he be so calm at this precise moment? - "you know that I share a special connection with you ..."

"For your sake Tai I wish it never was" cried Ben as he entered the fight.

Ben knew that Tai was torn: he never wanted to get there. Because of his friendship and his feelings for Ben, he had to suffer from having to turn against him. "You don't have to do this Ben. You don't have to turn away from the Light, ” he pleaded, countering Ben's powerful blows.

"I'm not who you think I am Tai." It is too late for me now! It's my destiny ! squeaked Ben

They faced each other.

" No that's not true !" insisted Tai "Each path has two directions. You can always take the other alternative! "

Their sabers collided.

"Even if you think you are at the bottom of the abyss there will always be deeper! You act like you don't have control when every step you take is YOUR choice, ” tried to shake him Tai.

And it worked.

Ben and Tai had their sabers crossed, their faces a few inches from each other over the vibrating plasma.

" MY CHOICE ? Spat Ben. "I NEVER had a choice! Even my NAME is not my choice. The dark and light side claimed me from my birth. Do you know what it feels like ??? "

Ben pushed harder on his blade, bringing Tai's blade close to his face, enough for Tai to feel the warmth of the blade and start to sweat.

"Whether it's Snoke or Skywalker, neither of them considers me a person. I'm just a legacy! "

Their fight had led them to find themselves on a rocky bridge over a bottomless void surrounded by crystals of blood-red rocks.

"There is always hope Ben" continued to plead Tai. "You can spend the rest of your life helping others across the galaxy and that's all that matters. We could join together and destroy the Knights of Ren, we-- ”

But Ben had succeeded in disarming him and knocking him down on his knees.

Tai didn't seem angry, just resigned: "Kill me if necessary Ben"

Ben in shock, retracted his blade.

Tai reached out to him still on his knees begging, "Be the one you--"

He did not finish. He suddenly seemed frozen and stiff. Then he fell back. Stiff dead. Eyes wide open.

Rey felt Ben start to tremble uncontrollably, a muffled cry coming from his lips. Everything was shaking in the Falcon's cabin and the objects began to fly in all directions. The Falcon's alarms started to beep wildly.

"Ben, please, pull yourself together," Rey begged. She stroked his hair, his back, trying to ease the pain she felt in her own chest.

"Look at me ... please"

Ben finally looked up and locked his eyes in those of the young woman.

There he read an unconditional and flawless love. Little by little his spasms stopped. Everything fell back into the cabin.

She saw Ben turn around and face Ren who had shot Tai behind his back.

"You killed him," he growled lowly. A dull threat.

"Of course," replied the man nonchalantly as if it was self-evident. "Snoke was wrong about you you push away your darkness you don't want to live with. "

"True," Ben replied calmly. The calm before the storm. Rey saw his left hand pass behind his back and call to him the saber of Tai who flying in his hand.

And suddenly he leaps with both sabers in his hand on Ren screaming “I am the shadow! "

Ren didn't seem worried or impressed, he continued to tickle Ben, taunting him, saying that he had probably never really fought in his life, his uncle not wanting to hurt his best student.

_Now you will be what you are. The one you've always been destined to become_ hissed an old man with putrid hands

_Yes my boy yes ..._

"I'm not special. I'm nobody, "snickered Ren sending blow after blow to Ben who block as good as he can.

_Ben oh no no no, No pity no !!!!!!!!!_ he heard his mother scream.

Ren leapt onto Be, "I killed a lot of people who thought they were special. You will be just one more ... "

But Ben let him run out and he counterattacked, spinning the two swords:

“People think I'm special. But no. "

They were both fighting in the air supported by the Force.

" It's good. It means I can do whatever I want. I should have done what you wanted earlier Ren, it was so clear "

A little girl appeared in his head, dressed in loose desert clothes, protective glasses hanging from her blow and her hair gathered in three small buns. It was the girl he often saw in dreams and visions _"Do you feel it?" it's cold —_ she wondered.

_Yes, yeeeeees claim your birthright! Take him down!_

"Here's your good death," spat Ben, thrusting one of his sabers into Ren's chest.

  
Rey was too shaken to speak. He had seen her. All the pieces of the puzzle were falling into place in her head. But it wasn't over. Ben continued tirelessly.

He was now in front of Voe who was on the ground and trying to retrieve her saber.

"Ben, you killed him. Ren. "

"Sure Voe," Ben replied somberly. All of his features were dark and at that moment he was particularly scary. "I'm a murderer remember? "

He approached with his sword in her hand. "You are not a Jedi and there is no one left to train you"

He lit Ren's sword and the red plasma flamed before their eyes.

"No ..." Voe groans but she understands.

"Why would you want to live? Asked Ben sarcastically

And in response he plunged the blade into her heart.

"Now do you understand why I didn't want your pity Rey?" whispered Ben. "What I did -" he paused and shook his head. "And there is worse ..."

He was in a dark vessel in front of a workbench covered with instruments. He was shirtless and Rey had to make an effort to focus on what he was doing and not to contemplate his massive, sculpted chest.

He had his saber in hand and tampered with it and ended up taking out the blue crystal symbol of his Jedi past.

He looked at him for a long time and clenched his fist over it.

He thought of everything: the rejection of his family, the mockery, the way they saw him, his lack of self-confidence, the lies, the screams in his head, the nightmares. He clenched his fist stronger. His fist began to glow. The energy released by the crystal made everything tremble, including the vessel. Ben was screaming so hard the effort was intense.

Rey did not understand.

"I hurt the crystal," Ben replied to his mute question.

When he opened his hand, the crystal had turned blood red. As if he had bled. Besides, there was blood. Ben's: his skin was burnt and the flesh raw.

He put the crystal back into the saber, but the broken crystal produced an overly powerful blade and there was a small explosion.

Ben looked at the saber for a long time. Something was needed to evacuate the excess energy.

He thought back to the stories of the great Republic that his uncle Chewie had told him. There was a Wookie Jedi whose saber was crosswise ...

The next image was Ben holding his new saber as Rey had always known him and answering Snoke's question.

_What is your name ?_

Kylo

Kylo Ren

"Ky from Skywalker and lo from Solo" Ben explained to him gently, caressing her hips "That's what I called myself when I was little".

Rey then saw how everything had evolved: the First Order had emerged from the shadows and Snoke was no longer playing the attentive guardians, he was showing his real face. Kylo’s training sessions turned to mental and physical torture in order to toughen him up even more.

She saw him throw Kylo into a pit to see if he would be able to land himself alive using the Force.

"It was useful for Exegol," Ben chuckled bitterly.

She saw him hit Kylo and make fun of him again and again. Until he is totally devoted to him.

But even in all these dark moments Rey saw that the light was still there. When Snoke had taken him to Dagobah to confront the dark side he had refused to virtually kill his parents, cheating on Snoke and preferring to attack a tree and the cave.

The light was still in him.

  
"You're my light," Ben said softly, raising his chin so he could look at her hazel eyes.

" From the beginning. I saw you in my dreams; that's why when I was told that _a girl_ was accompanying a certain droid, I thought it might be the girl who haunted me ... "

"Show me," she urged him.

A picture appeared. Ben was playing alone in his apartment, spinning the tiny miniature plane in the air.

A cry was suddenly heard. A baby was crying. It was right in front of the bay window. Ben looked around, the baby was not there the second before. The droids weren't there. Ben put his toy down and walked over to the little thing that was obviously fidgeting upset.

The baby stopped screaming when he saw Ben.

"Don't cry like that"

" You are alone ? "

Obviously the baby did not answer and Ben found himself staring at him. He, no, she, he was sure, had big hazelnut almond eyes that stared at him with intensity. He reached for her, but she disappeared.

Ben rubbed his eyes and opened them again. Nothing. He must have been dreaming standing up.

Another picture. Ben was in the middle of a large, very bright hallway surrounded by picture windows. We could see the clouds all around. He saw her again, before him. He had seen her several times in dreams. He was sure it was the baby, she had the same eyes. She was dressed as if to live in a desert. Where was she ?

The girl had seen it too, she looked at him in amazement. And then he disappeared.

"I remember that! Rey exclaimed. "I thought I had a hallucination because of the Sun ..."

Ben stifled a laugh: "Hey no, it was me!"

Another picture. A dream. The girl smiled at him, she called him, her hair flying in the wind.

Another. He saw her in front of him scratching a line on a metal wall. There were hundreds of others. She looked at them and then collapsed in tears "They will never come back" she sobbed desperately. She was so sad that Ben couldn't help whispering to her, "I'll come back for you sweeetheart, I promise you." The next moment he was gone and he doubted she heard him.

" I heard you," whispered Rey softly against her lips. "It helped me to stay in this hell ..."

Other dreams, other visions, the Force had connected them long before they realized it.

Ben mysteriously appearing in Rey’s nightmares and dreams and disappearing in the same way.

"I've always been cold since that day," Rey realized, stroking her lips, her eyes lost in her memories. “In the middle of the desert I was cold in my chest. "

"Our dyad brought you heat without you realizing it" understood Ben "and when I go dark the heat went away. "

"You've always been there," Rey realized, kissing him. “From the start it was the two of us. Always in my head. "

"And you in mine. That's why we felt like we already knew each other. "

Other memories: Ben who contemplates her passed out on her interrogation rail, dumbfounded to finally have the chance to know this mysterious woman. So strong, so courageous. Flying him flat in the snow. He was already crazy about her.

And after, after all their connections. Their physical contact in the hut and on the Supremacy. The elevator.

"I wanted to kiss you," admitted Ben. "To stick against the wall and never let yourself go"

"What about Snoke?" laughed Rey.

"To hell with Snoke," Ben growled, gripping her hips a little hard. They were playing a dangerous game, they both knew how it was going to end.

"Do you understand why I couldn't take your hand?" "

Ben shook his head furiously.

"Yes I was completely a mess you were right to leave. But I'm still curious about one thing: you could have killed me when I was unconscious but you didn't do it. Why ? "

He already knew the answer but he had to hear it anyway.

Rey was not fooled either: "Maybe because I was already feeling something for you?" She teased, letting her finger run down his throat.

Ben swallowed when he felt her finger defending lower but she stopped at his chest.

"Perhaps also because I was not going to kill an unarmed and unconscious man. Even if it would have saved us a lot of problems, ”she added sternly.

Ben sighed. Crait. Might as well finish it right away.

"You had the Falcon shot knowing that I was in it"

Ben nodded, it wasn't as if he could deny it anyway.

“I have no excuses. I was so mad with rage that you left. I wouldn't have hurt you, you know that? "

Rey knew it, just to see his expression when she closed the Falcon door on him.

"I looked for you for a year. I only did that: find out where Snoke came from and find you. My motivation to get up in the morning. "

Rey let her forehead rest once again his, sighing in contentment.

"One day I have to thank Finn"

" Why ?? Ben wondered.

"If he hadn't released Poe and landed on Jakku, I would still be there with this little droid and I would never have met you"

Ben supposed it could be true, they wouldn't know anyway.

"You know when I reached out to you to rule by my side it was less as a partner than as - he hesitated to say the word, once pronounced there would be no turning back but he has never be so sure — my wife. "

Rey threw her head back and looked at Ben in shock, scanning his face to see if he was kidding but he couldn't be more serious.

"Did - did you just ask me to marry you?" "

Ben's face immediately reflected his lack of confidence, his smile gone and he looked down sadly.

"It's no if I understand correctly ... I understood, I did too much harm"

"No no no no that's not it. I know you will spend your life trying to redeem your crimes. It's just that - it's very sudden you have to recognize it. "

She took his face in her two hands and forced him to look at her:

"I'm not saying no Ben, I'm just not saying right away, it's too early. "

Ben found a shy smile and put his lips on hers determined not to part with her.

Their tongues danced together, their breaths began to accelerate. Rey began to cling to his hair as he began to stroke her hips and upper thighs while continuing to kiss her as if her life depended on it. _Chain reactions._

And it was at this precise moment that the alarm indicating their arrival in orbit of Tatooine sounded in the cockpit.


	16. I'm yours, you're mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where BB-8 learns to go to sleep at the right time ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone !!! How are you? Did you have good holidays ?
> 
> Here is FINALLY the chapter kisses-hugs aka SEX. Clearly this is an explicit scene.
> 
> So don't read if 1- you are underage 2- you don't like this kind of scene.
> 
> At one point I'm referring to things I wrote in one of my fics but it's not online at the moment I'm rewriting it, I'll repost it after.
> 
> It's the first time I've written this kind of scene, it's not easy to put that on paper, so I hope it's not too bad. Do not hesitate to tell me if it is bad, I am always taking comments to improve myself.
> 
> Thank you again for all your kudos !!!!
> 
> PLAYLIST : You give good love by Whitney Houston. It's so Reylo vibes !!!!
> 
> I found out what I've been missing  
> Always on the run  
> I've been looking for someone
> 
> Now you're here, like you've been before  
> And you know just what I need  
> It took some time for me to see that you give good love to me  
> Baby, so good  
> Take this heart of mine into your hands  
> You give good love to me  
> Never too much  
> Baby, you give good love
> 
> Never stopping  
> I was always searching for that perfect love  
> The kind that girls like me dream of
> 
> Now you're here, like you've been before  
> And you know just what I need  
> It took some time for me to see that you give good love to me  
> Baby, so good  
> Take this heart of mine into your hands  
> You give good love to me  
> Never too much  
> Baby, you give good love
> 
> Now I, I can't stop looking around  
> It's not what this love's all about  
> Our love is here to stay, stay
> 
> Now you're here, like you've been before  
> And you know just what I need  
> It took some time for me to see that you give good love to me  
> Baby, so good  
> Take this heart of mine into your hands  
> You give good love to me  
> Never too much  
> Baby, you give good love

They hadn't seen the time go by, Ben felt his confession had been quick but in fact it had lasted several hours.

The alarm had shattered their moment of stillness and left them painfully aware that Rey was _currently_ astride Ben's thighs, rubbing against his erection as he kissed her.

Ben stifled a laugh as he kissed her on the nose when he felt that she was _seriously_ considering pulling out the compressor alarm control again.

"Let's go put this piece of junk down before you destroy it piece by piece ..."

"I have already started with the compressor ..."

She mentally sent him a memory and Ben burst out laughing as he saw Han's dumbfounded face gazing at Rey's beaming face holding wires in his hand proudly exclaiming, "I bypass the compressor!" And Rey joined him in his mirth.

It was so easy to laugh around Rey! She was like a ray of sunlight gradually warming a piece of ice.

They remained silent as Rey skillfully moved the ship through the desert. The more the minutes passed, the more the silence grew thicker and the more nervous Ben became. They were finally going to be alone for a longer period of time and he was almost trembling with impatience. He had wanted her for so long it was getting painful.

He wasn't sure how to approach the subject, every time they almost got down to business it had been in the heat of the moment and not calculated.

Should he take the first step? Should he woo her? And how ? Were there flowers on this damn planet?

 _Kriff_! If only there was a manual for that sort of thing like assembling a saber ...

He had been with other women, but none that meant anything to him. Just one night along with his adventures with his knights. He had never had the slightest feeling towards her.

It had nothing to do with Rey. _His_ Rey. The love of his life. His half. His dyad.

He had more than feelings for her.

He didn't want to spoil anything out of clumsiness. Especially since he felt Rey was inexperienced in this area.

He heaved an inaudible sigh and lost himself in contemplating the Tatooine dunes. He wished he could speak to his father at this precise moment. Or his uncle Lando. They would have looked at him over their glasses of whiskey, laughed a bit but helped him out after their giggles were over.

He glanced sideways at Rey. She was focused on the scenery, skilfully piloting the old freighter, eluding every mountain trap that loomed before them. She seemed oddly calm but Ben knew she was hiding her emotions: her eyes were gleaming, her cheeks were flushed, her hands were unnecessarily too tight on the handle.

Her signature in the Force was calm on the surface but bubbling below. Her breathing was peculiar, Ben thought he recognized some classic Jedi meditation exercises. She was trying to calm her impulses. She was therefore as affected as he was.

Realizing this, he also began to meditate in order to keep from leaping up, activating the autopilot, grabbing Rey and carrying her to the old leather bench where he would stretch her out and where he would delight her magnificent body with fervent kisses and caresses until she cried out with pleasure.

He couldn't do that. Not immediately. He was going to scare her.

He had to go slow. For her. He had to make it go well.

She would _literally_ scream in frustration if they were interrupted again. Was some sadist up there having fun letting them come close to the point of no return before finally exclaiming "Sorry it won't be this time!" "?

She wanted him and it was mutual, judging from the bulge between his legs. She had dreamed of him at night from Exegol and that was one of the reasons she had been so miserable. At night on Tatooine she had started to explore her body, moaning weakly in pleasure under her fingers, wishing it was Ben who made her feel so good.

They were going to be alone, was she the one to take the lead?

She knew nothing about carnal pleasure, she had only just started to explore her body. She wasn' prudish, she knew what was going on, on Jakku everyone was doing everything in the eyes of everyone. But how to give pleasure to the other she had little or no idea. She had barely known how to return Ben's kisses and caresses.

She regretted not having dared to ask her friends for practical advice. Rose wasn't much more experienced than her, but Zorii, Jannah and Kaydel would often talk about their love lives, they would have had no problem enlightening Rey.

Ben didn't seem to be any more comfortable than she is now: his jaw was clenched, his fingers gripping the armrests as if his life depended on it.

He didn't hide those emotions in the Force and she felt everything. How much he wanted her. His unconditional love. A burning desire. A willingness to do things right for her. So as not to frighten her.

Images came to her: them, thrown back on the bench, naked, kissing languidly, waving against each other, uttering cries of ecstasy ...

She blushed instantly and tried to hide her own excitement, clouding her feelings in the Force and trying not to rub her thighs against each other in order to reduce the pressure she felt in her crotch.

She knew if she did that she would moan and then ...

She began to do breathing exercises that Leia had taught her to try and regain some semblance of concentration.

After what seemed like an eternity the Jundland Desert appeared before their eyes and Rey started to cut speed.

" We arrive ! » She announced.

Ben looked gloomily at the stretch of sand that stretched out as far as the eye could see. Nothing was more like a desert than another desert and Tatooine was no exception.

The Falcon landed near a small farm complex responsible for collecting ambient humidity. So that was the ancestral farm where his uncle grew up before the war. He felt absolutely no emotion towards the round mud house other than sadness that Rey had spent more than a month here moping in the drab, lifeless surroundings.

They exited the ship, BB-8 having finally reappeared, and were immediately assailed by the dry heat very different from the damp heat of Ajan Kloss.

Hot wind was blowing, blowing the sand in all directions and passing through their eyes.

 _I hate sand_ Ben thought

 _It gets everywhere_ , Rey approved.

They set out to put a camouflage tarp over the Falcon, leaping back and forth across the ship with the Force to reach the top.

In their states this simple action is enough to make their blood boil again: Rey, seeing Ben leap, could not help contemplating the work that his thighs were providing and Ben bit his cheek when he saw Rey fluttering gracefully, feeling a tongue of fire descend in his stomach.

It was BB-8 who saved the day as they walked past, beeping announcing that he was going to check the security systems, the vaporators, the tanks and the vegetable garden.

Rey led him home, they walked down the stairs to the courtyard from which all the rooms glowed.

Ben flashed Rey's memories of her first arrival here and once again felt immense pride. She had made this hovel into a modest but perfectly adequate dwelling. Although the furniture was not new and mismatched, there was an impression of blissful tranquility throughout. A feeling of being at home.

"There is the hangar for the electrical maintenance of the vaporators. Next to it is the part for treating the water. The tanks are reservoirs of drinking water. "

Rey walked her around the owner, touched to tears every time he told her how good she was and how proud he was of her.

"This is the kitchen. The cellar... "

She broke off with a blush and Ben knew why, she had intentionally left out one room: _her bedroom_.

The atmosphere had turned electric again.

Ben took a few steps towards her: "Why Tatooine?" He asked in a low voice.

"I came to bury your uncle and your mother's swords. So that they may rest in peace "she began. Besides now that she thought about it maybe she shouldn't have: Ben might have wanted them back, at least his mother's.

Ben had indeed jumped and a look of pain crossed his face as he saw in Rey's head the memories of Luke practicing with his mother, "She never told me about it," he whispered.

Sadness gave way to anger again, "Why did she send me to Luke then?" She could have trained me herself! "

"Your mother had a vision, she thought if she continued her Jedi path her son would be killed. "

Ben broke into a mirthless laugh, "Ah, because that's not what happened anyway? "

He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, "Don't make excuses for her Rey, my mother was far more interested in her political career than her difficult son with special needs. "

Rey didn't answer, hadn't Leia told her herself that she hadn't done enough for her son?

"Don't worry about the sabers," Ben pulled her from her thoughts. "Let the past die, remember? "

Rey smirked weakly: "It's a bit complicated considering that I live in your uncle's childhood home ..."

She approached within arm's reach of him, "I thought that here I would be in peace trying to define what my future would be. But it didn't work, I kept thinking about you, my nights, my days-- "

Ben already knew it, he had seen her memories and he knew how much she had suffered. So he stood up quickly and hugged her, locking his gaze with hers: "I'm here now it's over. You will never be alone again, "he promised her.

"I know," Rey replied softly before placing her lips on his.

They closed their eyes, relishing the soft touch of their lips moving in sync. Rey smelled like the desert and Ben lost himself in her scent, hugging her slim waist as she placed one hand around his neck and the other in his hair, gripping and kneading her brown curls.

"I love you," Ben whispered breathlessly between each kiss.

Entwined, they had started to pull back while kissing, bumping into the furniture until Rey was pressed against the wall near her bedroom.

They heard BB-8 come back from his check-round and start beeping in embarrassment before rushing to the end of the room and rushing to sleep.

As he walked around and kissed her, Ben couldn't help but babble:

"No matter how much Snoke laughed at me, he couldn't help my feelings. "

He was kissing her lips wildly like a hungry man and Rey was moaning, tightening her grip even more. Ben's beard was rough and he was probably going to leave marks on her, but right now she didn't care.

Ben left her mouth and Rey took the opportunity to suck in the air but he quickly began to kiss her cheek, his jaw and lips lowered down her neck and Rey gasped again, letting out little "o" of pleasure.

"I love everything about you," Ben continued unperturbed. "Your eyes, your magnificent freckles, your skin golden by the sun, your mouth..."

Rey's breathing was completely choppy now, every time she thought she couldn't go any further Ben would kiss her again and a thrill of more pleasure ran through her from head to toe and in response she squeezed her hair. Ben even stronger to the point where she vaguely wondered if she was going to tear him away.

But at this precise moment it was the least of her worries.

They found themselves walking backwards again without stopping kissing which made the journey difficult.

Rey's legs finally met the end of her bed and Ben tipped her back. Rey fell back onto the mattress with a falsely indignant scream which Ben nipped in the bud by kissing her again making their tongues dance together, kneeling towards her.

Rey, feeling Ben's hands run up her back and legs so that they pulled him towards her and positioned them on either side of his knees, couldn't help but think he looked decidedly more experienced than her in this area.

Ben felt the change in Rey's emotions and parted his lips as he pulled back, searching for her eyes. Rey wanted to slap herself for wasting the moment, she felt lonely again and wrapped her arms around her and ducked her head so that he didn't see the tears rising.

Ben didn't have to look very far for the cause of this shift, he saw it in her head. The propaganda clip the First Order released for Snoke's funeral. Shots of him chatting with guests. Including women. For once he was surprised to feel the jealousy sweating from Rey. Surprised that she could think for one moment that these women could have a place in his heart.

"I've known women, it's true," he admitted. He didn't have to lie to her, he had no secrets to hide from her. Rey looked up at him and he saw the tears shining in them.

She was a beautiful fool. Of course he had been with others! What was she thinking? She was inexperienced while he ...

Rey wanted to disappear underground in front of his naivety.

But Ben took her hands gently and squeezed them tenderly before lifting her chin to look her in the eye: "They meant nothing to me I promise!" "

"Who were they? Rey asked through her clenched jaw. A wave of hatred seized her as she thought of this gorgeous blonde who had walked beside her at the ceremony. Was it she?

" Who ? »Then seeing the blonde woman in Rey's memories« Bazine Netal ?? ". He almost laughed at it.

"Rey" He lifted her chin so that their eyes met "There was never anything between Bazine and me. She is one of the Order's spies. She was the one who warned us of BB-8's presence on Takodana ... "

"You mentioned several women..." Rey reminded her, who still wasn't reassured and obviously didn't want to let go.

"It's true," Ben agreed, stroking her forearms. "Women I met in taverns when I was backpacking with my knights. They didn't mean anything to me, I swear. These were one night's stories, Snoke had encouraged me to explore all passions to more easily fall into the dark side. I never saw them again. "

Rey let out a small sigh of relief. She had no right to be mad at him she realized, it was unfair, they had lived their lives on their own. None of them could have imagined that they would one day be there.

Ben understood that the worst was over and began to kiss her forehead: "As soon as I laid eyes on you I stopped these adventures. It was just you in my head, "he confessed.

Rey would have almost purred contentedly, but as a cautious woman she did not give up so easily: "Even Bazine? "

Ben chuckled softly and began to kiss her nose, "Do you know you're even cuter when you're jealous?" And then — he began to kiss the delicate bone structure of her jaw — blondes aren't my type... "

" No ?? Rey said, starting to relax again under Ben's caresses.

Ben shook his head: "Not at all my type, I prefer brunettes to the little golden sun with hazel eyes..."

"Ah? Rey asked, tilting her head back so Ben could put his lips to her neck.

"Mhh Mhh and if in addition they have freckles I melt even more ..."

"So prove it to me!" Rey exclaimed with determination before crushing her lips to Ben's.

They rolled against each other on the mattress, Ben hugging her creating a delicious friction, the same one they had started to experience a few nights earlier. Remembering how much Rey had loved he began to run his mouth down her neck, her cleavage until he came to her breasts. Rey heaved little sighs under him, he began to kiss the material covering her and began to gently pull the pieces of fabric apart. He heard Rey inhale loudly when she found herself only with the bands wrapped around her chest.

She had red cheeks and looked embarrassed. She repositioned herself on the mattress and began to undo her buns one by one.

Ben was looking at her, his mouth half open.

"You're always beautiful to me but that... your hair coming loose like that..." he stammered.

He did not finish, but expressing everything through their mental connection. He had felt his heart leap when he saw her hair loose and soaked that night in the hut. He had wanted to touch them so badly then. It had been another of his fantasies ...

Rey smiled shyly, grabbed his hand, and awkwardly placed it in her hair. Ben played with it, burying his head in it, inhaling their scent.

Rey took the opportunity to begin to undo the bands that covered her chest. She dropped them to the floor and faced Ben, completely embarrassed. She was aware of her small breasts and was trying not to panic. What if Ben was disappointed?

She was about to close her arms around her to hide but Ben gently grabbed her wrists on the fly. "No" he whispered. "You don't have to hide them they are perfect! "

He was looking at her with round, hungry eyes, one hand still in her hair, she could see his Adam's apple moving up and down his throat.

Not taking his eyes off her, Ben let go of her wrists and gently put his hands on her warm breasts. First, just a touch of the knuckles and then the whole palm. Rey flinched and put her hands on his thighs not knowing what to do with it.

Ben was giving her big hugs, particularly careful not to be too abrupt.

"I've dreamed of this for whole nights..." he confessed to her as he began to move his mouth down from her neck to her collarbones.

Rey moaned softly as he lowered his mouth even further and came to rest it on her right breast continuing to stroke the other.

Rey sagged back with a squeal, Ben's lips closed tightly on her nipple and she felt a weird sensation inside her that she couldn't define.

Her hands moved up through his hair to grip it as he began to gently lick her nipple, alternating between light licks and teasing with his teeth. She didn't know what to do anymore: she swayed under him, sighing with pleasure, arching up against him.

His hand left her breast and began to brush her flat stomach, lower and lower until it ended up between her thighs still encircled in her leggings which he hastened to get down and drop on the floor next to him.

He felt Rey stiffen under him.

_Everything is fine sweetheart_

They started kissing again and Ben's hands once again wandered between the young woman's thighs and timidly stroked her panties. Rey moaned in surprise: being stroked by someone other than herself didn't give her the same feeling at all. Ben brushed the contours of her sex, her lips and her clit but didn't dare to step behind the fabric despite Rey's increasingly loud moans. He wanted to give her the choice.

"Please Ben! » Rey finally almost sobbed.

Ben acts immediately, he pulled the underwear to the side and began to caress again.

"My god Rey" he sighed ecstatically in her ear "You're soaked"

Rey didn't respond, moaning unrestrainedly under the long strokes from her lips to her clit. He teased her with his fingers, making them stay close to her soaked slit without pushing inside.

Rey squirmed on the mattress, feeling a surge of intense pleasure rising inside her, much stronger than she had experienced before.

She was trying to wave against Ben, to stick to him to feel more pressure, hoping he understood that she needed more.

Stifling a laugh in the hollow of her throat, Ben gently pushed his index finger inside and stopped right away to give Rey some respite ; she had just arched up the mattress and clung to him, breathing short and chopped.

He started wiggling his finger and she began to move in sync with his hand as they kissed languidly, their tongues dancing together.

The initial embarrassment Rey had felt had long since passed. What they were doing seemed to her the most natural and right thing in the world. Like they were always meant to be together.

Rey protested when Ben pulled away from her but her protests were nipped in the bud when he began to run his mouth down her stomach. She trembled in anticipation when she realized what Ben was going to do.

He ripped off her panties, completely soaked and unusable anyway, and started kissing her upper thighs, taking all the time to admire her. He wanted to enjoy every moment.

She was soaked, her hairs glistened. Watching her reactions he began to lick her entire slit from bottom to top.

"Ben! » Rey cried, straightening up and squeezing the sheets tight.

He laughed against her thigh and held her in place as he did it again, his tongue and beard tickling the entrance to her vagina, lapping up her juices like an animal would drink water.

Rey was writhing on the bed, heaving little groans that kept him going and he began to lick her clit making her scream more and more. He knew she was close to her orgasm.

Rey felt like everything Ben touched was on fire, she fidgeted not knowing how to put herself to finally feel her release. It was too much and not enough at the same time. The wave was rising more, more and more and she needed something to make her reach the top.

Ben suddenly added his fingers in addition to his tongue and began to wiggle them inside her and between that and his lips that were focused on her clit Rey came with a long cry, gripping Ben between her thighs, screaming his name over and over again.

Ben kissed Rey during the backlash, hugging her against him as she trembled as she came back down from her orgasm, whispering in her ear how amazing she was, that he was the happiest man in the world and that he loved her like crazy.

Rey caught her breath and her wits and wanted to return what he had just done to her.

She struggled with his clothes, her fingers trembling and making it difficult for her.

Although less embarrassed than the previous times, Rey felt her stomach drop when she saw his sculpted chest again. He looked like a god, all muscular, his hair tangled, his mouth glistening and raw from use, his eyes glistening dark with desire accompanied by a slight predatory smile.

She heard him purr as she ran her hand from his stomach to his boxers and boldly ran her hand inside.

 _It's never going to fit_ was the first thing she thought of.

Ben kissed the top of her head to reassure her and put his hand on hers to guide her.

Their hands were moving up and down his cock and soon Ben let her do it alone, throwing his head back, eyes closed, groaning with pleasure. He wanted to engrave this moment in his head.

Rey found herself liking what she was doing: his skin was soft and warm and seeing Ben moaning and swearing louder and louder as she continued gave her some pride and an added dose of pleasure.

Ben's energy signature in the Force shone brightly, like a wind blowing harder and harder.

"Rey..." Ben was almost having trouble speaking. "If you continue like this I won't take long...".

He put his hands on hers and silently gazed at her. They didn't need words, they knew what the other wanted.

Biting her lower lip Rey quickly nodded, "I have an implant you know, in case... all the Resistance girls have one..."

Ben nodded to her that he understood and rolled her under him and began to kiss her passionately again, positioning himself between her spread thighs.

He thought he was dreaming, that sooner or later someone was going to knock on the door to his quarters aboard the Supremacy and the vision would disappear.

Rey began to nudge him on the neck. "It's real Ben, I'm here," she whispered.

It was then that he noticed how stressed she was, he could see it in her eyes.

He rested his forehead against hers and looked her in the eyes.

"I love you," he whispered against her lips as he stroked her slit again to relax her.

"I know," Rey replied simply, arching her hips to stick to him.

He kissed her one last time, squeezing his cock into the entrance to her vagina, Rey clutching her shoulders as he began to penetrate her.

Ben clenched his teeth and tried not to thrust too hard. She was so warm and tight, she hugged him completely, he had to restrain himself. Panting, he hid his head in her neck near her shoulder and pushed some more.

Rey winced, it wasn't really painful but rather uncomfortable. Thanks to her previous orgasm she was more relaxed but Ben was really well hung. It felt like she was split open, pulled apart.

And when he leaned deeper and was fully inside her, she couldn't help but moan a little and placed her hand on Ben's chest to ask him to wait. And Ben, worried, immediately obeyed, letting her adjust, kissing her softly to relax her, watching for any sign of distress.

She finally nodded and slowly he started a slow pace back and forth.

Rey let out small sighs with every movement, it was weird but pleasant.

Soon the embarrassment disappeared and she found herself digging her fingernails into Ben's back, breathing harder and harder. Ben cursed when he felt the bite of her fingernails and tightened his grip around her waist, changing his posture and penetrating her deeper.

And Rey then cried out, begging him to keep it up. Each thrust seems stronger than the last and hit a particular point that gave her intense pleasure.

The only sounds in the room were their moans and the shock of their bodies as they met.

Ben had never felt anything like this, until now his previous relationships were just overnight or a few minutes. Quick and brutal matings in the dark alleys of an outpost. Without passion or feeling. Just to satisfy a need.

There everything was different: he loved Rey and she loved him too, the Force sang around them, wrapping them in protective tape, binding them forever. Each sensation was increased tenfold: they felt what the other wanted without having to say it out loud. He couldn't help but put his lips on every inch of her bare skin.

He wanted to stay there forever, Rey warm and welcoming around him, hugging him tightly.

He started to speed up and grabbed one of her breasts in his mouth, greedily licking her nipple.

Rey gave little "ohs" in response, her thighs closing more tightly around his waist, her fingernails digging into his hips, turning her head on the pillow.

"Ben..." Rey gasped.

" Yes ? » He replied as panting as she was.

" 'so good ! » She articulated, her hands moving down to rest on his butt.

Ben felt himself roar, sweat wet histemple, his movements became even faster, he wished Rey would come so he too could reach his orgasm.

He slipped a hand between them and began to stroke her clit frantically, making her tremble beneath him. She eventually twitched, deliciously gripping his penis, rearing up against him, shouting his name over and over.

His thrusting grew stronger and more erratic and soon he sank into her, ejaculating loudly, with a loud hoarse cry that he choked on Rey's neck.

Unable to hold on anymore, he collapsed on top of her, his head on her chest, trying to catch his breath.

"Are you - are you okay?" He asked Rey who had started to stroke his hair tenderly.

"Mhh" replied Rey who was even more breathless than him, her eyes half closed, her face flushed.

Ben began to kiss her chest softly, stammering tender words.

Around them the Force moved slowly, now appeased and sated.

They fell asleep in each other's arms feeling like they had finally found their place, that they were finally home.


End file.
